Oct. 19th; This morning the lake was like a mirror. Not a breath of wind around. I had some porridge for breakfast and then made ready to go to town. Today, the temperature is supposed to rise to +2 Celsius. I had arrived in Haileybury by 9 AM. Everything was closed today because it is Sunday. Even John, at Peter Pan Restaurant was closed. It won't be open until afternoon. So I walked around town to see where I may get a cup of coffee. I went over to Leisure Inn and asked the man at the counter for a cup of coffee. He turned out to be the owner/manager of The Leisure Inn. He gave me a cup of coffee. He offered it for free but I declined his kind offer and insisted to pay for it. I asked the owner/manager if he needed a handyman, but they did not. Business was at a low end this time of the season. It was really nice of the man to give me a coffee even though I was not dressed in a suit and tie. The Leisure Inn seem to be a high class establishment for people who come to Haileybury on business. I was not really dressed for it so I decided to drink my coffee out of doors on a park bench that are along the sidewalk. I went to Busters and got a coffee and phoned Betty and asked how Dave was doing? Betty had informed me that Dave had suffered some kind of hemorrhage of the brain. The ambulance had taken Dave to the hospital and then he had to be flown to Subuary. Irene had gone along with Dave. As far as Betty knows, Dave will live. Dave may have suffered some brain damage, but it is too early to tell. He can not remember many things right now. I could not see Betty right then because there are no busses running today. I asked Betty if there was somebody there to be with her? She had informed me that her relatives were staying with her during these trying times. I told Betty that I would see her tomorrow if I can get into New Liskeard. By noon, John had opened up the Restaurant and I was able to tell him what had happened to Dave. John gave me some money and fried chicken to take back with me when I return to the Island. I did not want to take the money but he insisted that I take it because I could really use it now. I finally accepted it greatfuly and thanked John for the money and the fried chicken dinner. Getting back to the Island was an easy paddle because the lake was still calm. I heated up some coffee and ate the chicken dinner. It was real good. I enjoy eating some meat after eating pancakes, soup, fried or boiled potatoes or porrage for the past few days. I must try to get some meat the next time I get to a supermarket. Tomorrow, the weather forecast calls for strong winds, so I may not be able to get into New Liskeard.

Oct. 20th; This morning the weather forcast is calling for strong winds today. I stayed in camp, gathering wood all day, expecting the wind to pick up during the day. I also spent some time to cut up some more of those large trees that some bever had chewed down. I find that I can only cut a few logs at a time from these large felled trees before I get so tired cutting them with that buck-saw. I found more of these felled trees that some beaver had cut down while I went through the woods I had not gone in before. This is really getting to be a job trying to clean up the mess that some beaver had created. At least I can use these for firewood for the coming winter. The south-west wind had not picked up during the whole day. The wind had remained steady with a light breeze that would not have prevented me from going into town. The reason I did not want to take the chance to get to town was because I was afraid that I might not be able to get back to the Island. I was afraid that I would become stranded in Haileybury and the evening and night get pretty cold now. I do not want to cause people any problem because of some stupid mistake I may have made.

Oct.22nd; This morning the wind is light from the north-west. I decided to try to get into town today. After breakfast, I made ready to go into town. I made sure that the fire had gone out in the wood stove before I left the island. I reached the main shoreline with little problem and headed towards Haileybury, hugging the shoreline all the way. When I had arrived to my usual docking place, I went the Post Office and found out that I had recived a letter from Gord. No news from Mattawa yet. Then I went to see John at Peter Pan Restaurant. I got a coffee and we talked for awhile, since there were no customers in yet. John is getting really concerned about me being on that Island now that the weather is cold. I tried to assure John that I was quite warm in the tent-cabin. He told me that I should consider what I would do if I ran out of food and I would not be able to get off the island during the time that the lake started to freeze up. After all, there is no wildlife on the island for me to catch for food. This is something I had never considered before until John had mentioned it. I am not selling any of my paintings, despite the very low price I have on them. I have only a few dollars now because I had bought some food from it. I will have to take stock of how much food I have when I get back to the Island. John advised me to at least go to Social Services and see if I can get some assistance from them. I told John that I would at least consider all that we had talked about. I left John and got on the local bus to go to New Liskeard to see Betty. I was greatly concerned about how she was holding up while Dave was in the hospital. I got off the bus nean Lakeview Gardens and walked down to Betty's place. Betty was home and we talked. She told me that Dave can speak a little, but his left side of his body has no movement. Dave cannot remember anything before the illness had struck him. Betty told me that Dave will have to go to rehab in Toronto in order to try to get some movement back on his left side. Dave has an older sister in Toronto who will be able to visit and look after him while he is there. I stayed with Betty for some time, just to be there for her. There is nothing we can do to help Dave right now. How sad that this had to happen to such a nice person, like Betty. I asked Betty if there is anything that she needs done, but she had informed me that Dave and I had already done all that was needed to shut-down the camping grounds for the season. After a while, I left Betty and returned to Haileybury. I told John how Dave was comming along. After a while, I returned to the Island with the wind at my back for the wind had shifted and was blowing from the north now. Oct.23rd; Today I kept thinking what John had told me yesterday, about me getting off the island and see social services. After I had taken stock of the food I had on hand, I quickly realized that I did not have enough food on hand to last me through the time when the lake would be frozen up enough to walk on it safely. I also have come to realize that I could not depend on my paintings, regardless how low I may sell them for to sustain me. People are not buying art right now the way things are going regarding the economy. People are loosing jobs due to all the cut-backs that business are forced to do in order to stay alive. We have lost a major portion of our good, manufacturing, and high paying jobs to China, India, Indonesia, Central and South America. Most jobs people can get, if they are really lucky, are jobs from the service sector. People are hanging onto their money in fear that their job they presently have may be terminate. I have a good working knowledge on computer graphics that I may find a job in New Liskeard if I had an address. I realize that I am not going to get a job while living on this island. These are the facts I have to face up to. I have to look at the choices I have, and consider what can I do. The original plan of me hitching up with a trapper had failed to materialize. The second option of me living off my paintings is now quickly evaporating. I think that the two pieces of artwork that was sold was bought by John and Monica. My choice came to this. Stay on the island and eventually starve to death, or get help from Social Services if at all possible. I decided to at least inquire about getting assistance from Social Services the next time I go into New Liskeard as John had suggested. If I can not get assistance, than that in itself will answer my options for me. I wrote a letter to Gord to inform him as to what has happened since we had met these many months ago. I was good to hear from him. I spent some time to cut up some wood for the wood stove. After supper, it was dark by then and I was contemplating what other options were left open for me. I could not find any options for it seem to me that I had boxed myself into a corner. It was too depressing to think about that, so I took to read a book, by candlelight until my eyes felt too strained to read anymore. So I just listen to the radio until I turned in for the night.

Oct.24th; This morning the wind was light from the south-west. After breakfast, I decided to go and see Social Services in New Liskeard. I might as well find out now, if I can get some assistance. I paddled over to Haileybury and told John that I was going to see Social Services. John seemed to be greatly relieved that I had taken his advice to heart. I then got the local bus for New Liskeard and found out where they are located. I went to the reception desk and was informed that I had to dial a number and answer a series of questions. I was informed that I would have to see the intake officer on the 29th of October. When all the information that they requested was done, I was given an intent to rent form and told to find myself a place to rent. I was told the rent had to be within a set sum. I also had to get a document that gave proof that I had closed my bank account in Toronto. With this done, I left to go back to Haileybury. I told John what had transpired at Social Services and that I had to find a place to rent with this intent to rent form. John told me that he would rent me a vacant place that he had next door to his restaurant. He showed it to me and I accepted his offer. Then I went to the branch bank where I had closed my account before I had left Toronto and got a copy of that closure. With these two things done, I returned to John's place and waited until 5:30 PM. The south-westerly wind had died down enough by then that I was able to get back to the island. It was dark by the time I had arrived back at camp. I lit the candle and quickly got a fire going to heat up the place. It is pretty cold now. I marked the 29th with the time on my calender so that I would not forget my appointment to see the intake officer. I changed my clothes and cut up some more wood for the wood stove while supper was cooking. After supper, I laid on my bed and listen to CBC on the radio. I looked around me and I felt a deep sadness that I would eventually have to leave this place that had given me so much contentment. My consolation was that I was at least close by that I would still be able to visit the Island from time to time.

Oct. 25th; This morning it is raining. I can't believe it is raining, for it is cold enough outside for it to snow. I am glad that I had cut up enough wood and stacked them inside the tent-cabin last yesterday to last for a few days. The weather forecast calls for strong winds and rain for the next few days. I notice that the batteries for the radio is low in power. I will have to get some new batteries soon. I must remember to move the clock back one hour before I go to sleep tonight.

Oct.26th; This morning it is still raining with strong gusts of wind blowing from the north. I woke up around 5 AM so I lighted a fire in the wood stove to heat and take the dampness out of the tent-cabin. By afternoon the rain had stopped for a short time, so I went out along the shore and gathered some driftwood and stacked these on the woodpile. There is enough driftwood all along the main shore to last for a very long time. This is good, I will not need to cut any trees for firewood, while at the same time, it will clean up the shoreline. A win-win situation. While sawing the wood, I noticed that I had not the strength and felt faint after a while so I could not finish the job. I had to go inside the tent-cabin to rest. I felt like I was ready to pass-out. I do not know why I feel so weak all of the sudden. I decided to rest for the remainder of the day. This weak feeling will pass.

Oct.27th; This morning it is snowing outside. The wind is still blowing strong from the north. The weather forecast calls for temperatures of -15 Celsius tonight. I will gather more driftwood today and cut some of these to stack inside the tent- cabin to give these a chance to dry. I hope that the wind will die down by tomorrow so that I will be able to keep that appointment with the Social Services intake office in New Liskeard.

Oct.28th; Tuesday. Woke up this morning around 5 AM. It was still dark outside so I heated the tent-cabin with the wood stove and then made breakfast. By 6 AM, it was light enough for me to see, so I went outside to see the condition of the lake. It was a cloudy day with the wind coming from the north-east. I think that I can manage this headwind and try to get to Haileybury and then get the local bus to New Liskeard for that appointment with Social Services. I gathered what papers I had on hand, that would show something that I could use as an I.D. I also took some sample of my paintings to show my work as an Artist. I launched the canoe and made it to the mainland shore. As I was paddling towards Haileybury, I found that the waves were hitting me from broadside that it made paddling against the headwind quite difficult. I knew then that I would not be able to make it all the way to Haileybury with the waves coming at me from my broadside. The canoe was tipping from side to side that much that it would be just a matter of time, or I made the wrong move when the canoe will be swamped. I decided to get on shore as quickly as possible. I saw a flat area that was rock free, just before Mill Creek. I landed there. After making sure the canoe was well out of the water and tied to a tree, I walked along the shore and crossed Mill Creek by jumping from rock to rock until I got across the creek. After climbing a steep bank, I came upon a dirt road that lead towards Haileybury. When I had arrived into town, I caught the local bus to take me to New Liskeard. I arrived at the Social Services office by 9 AM. While waiting for my appointment, I used their computer to see if there were any jobs at the Canada Job Bank to see if there were any jobs for a computer graphics person. Nothing showed up on the job bank for our area of North Bay. I looked for other jobs that I knew that I could handle but I had no drivers licence nor a vehicle as stated as a requirement for those jobs. I was summons to the intake office and the processing for Social Assistance went well. I will receive a cheque by mail in the next few days to pay for my rent at John's place and to buy some food. After I had left the Social Services office, I returned to Haileybury and told John all that had transpired at the Social Services office. I will be able to move into town by Saturday or Tuesday when I receive the cheque. I then went to the Post Office to put my name down for a P.O. Box, now that I will have an address. I then went over to tell Herb the good news. He was glad that I will be able to get off that little Island before the heavy winter weather comes. I had received a letter from Revenue Canada that someone had cashed my GST cheque. I could see from the signature that the person who had cashed my cheque had made an honest mistake. I let Revenue Canada know as to how that cheque was cashed by the wrong person. It was no fault by Revenue Canada. I had to sign an affidavit in front of our local Judge in Haileybury. He was a very nice man to talk to. Then I went back to John,s place at Peter Pan Restaurant. I helped John put away the park bench tables for the winter season, that he had in front of the restaurant during the spring, summer and fall. Then I walked back to where I had left the canoe near Mill Creek. When I had arrived at Mill Creek, to my surprise, Mill Creek was now a mass of torrent moving water that was only a trickle when I had crossed it this morning. I tried to jump from rock to rock with the help of a pole, but when my foot landed on the rock, it slipped and I hit the real freezing water up to my waist. After I got back to shore, I saw that all the rocks had a thin coat of ice on them that I had not noticed before. You can not see that film of ice on the rocks unless you look at them from a ceratin angle. It was like black ice. There was no way that I was going to be able to cross this river of icy water. I followed along the bank for some distance, but could not find any place to cross this torrent river that was flowing now. So I headed towards a road and followed westward until I had arrived at the outskirts of North Cobalt. There I asked a person in an old pick-up truck how can I get to the other side of Mill Creek. The man told me to get in the pick-up truck and he will take me to a road that will lead me to the side of Mill Creek where I had left my canoe. I told the man that I was soaked from the waist down but he said never mind, this is an old farm truck. I explained to the man how I had got wet. The man stopped to a dirt road and told me to follow it down to the lake shore. I thanked the man for his kindness as I left his truck. I walked on this dirt road that seem to cut through a farm. As I continued on down this road, I could tell from looking at where Burnt Island was, that the road was now leading me further away from where I had left my canoe. So I left the dirt road and crossed a field and went down the hill through the wooded area until I reached the shore. I then followed the shore until I reached the canoe. By now I was freezing and still soaked to the bone. I got the canoe launched and paddled hard against the wind until I reached the Island. After tying up the canoe I got my now wet paintings and headed for the tent-cabin. I quickly got a fire going and changed into some dry clothes. By that time the kettle was hot so I was able to make some coffee to help warm myself up. I could not believe how that creek could change from a trickle to a raging torrent in just a short span of time. I could also not believe how I managed to get back on shore without being carried down that raging torrent of water. I think that the shock of that freezing water had something to do with me getting back on dry ground so quickly. I crawled into my sleeping bag to help get the chill out of my body. Today was a good day despite what had happened at Mill Creek.

Nov. 1st. This morning I was reflecting on the events that had brought me here on the Island and Haileybury. I know that I will like living here. I have found the people here to be real nice. Maby something will come along that I will be able to return to this Island in the near future. This I will not completely give up on. I hope that I will be able to find some kind of work in town or in New Liskeard now that I will have a proper address. I also will have to find some way to get back my ID that I had lost. Only time will tell. I spent some time cutting driftwood for the wood stove to last a few days. I tried to dry the canvas boards that had got wet when I slipped on the icy rocks on Mill Creek. I want to try to save these paintings because they are just too good not to try to save them.

Nov.2nd; This morning there is a light wind from the south, but the weather forecast is calling for strong southerly winds by this afternoon. I decided to go to town to check the mail. To lessen the chance of me getting stranded in town, I decided to leave the canoe on the north side of Mill Creek and walk the rest of the way to Haileybury. I checked the mail and had received two letters. One was from Gord and Debby. The had sent me a $100.00 money order so that I can buy some food and tobacco. It was real sweet for them to do this, but I will have to return the money order back to them. I am truly greatful for their kindness but I am not in great need of it. If I was not going to receive help from Social Assistance and not leave the Island, I would greatfully have kept the money that Gord and Debby had sent me. The other letter is a cheque from Social Assistance for this month's rent and for my monthly food. The bank was not open today to cash my Social Assistance cheque, so I went over to Peter Pan Restaurant and gave John this month rent from my cheque for my one room apartment. After I had left John, I dropped in to see Herb to let him know that I will be moving into town. He was really glad to hear that. After leaving Herb's place, I walked back to where I had left the canoe at Mill Creek. I tried to return back to the Island but the wind was too strong to make any headway. So I had to beach the canoe and walk back to Haileybury. John told me to go to my apartment and get some rest or sleep. I first got something to eat and then retired to my apartment to wait out the strong winds. I could not sleep, so I just rested. John and Monica had placed some towels, dished, cups and pots, and bed sheets, along with some hand and dish washing soap for me. How sweet they are to do that for me. I got a nice warm shower that took the last few days of grime off of me. How wonderful it was to take a hot shower. By 4 PM, the wind seemed to have died down quite a bit so I decided to try to get back to the Island. By the time I reached Mill Creek, the wind had shifted from the west. I packed most of my gear and loaded these into the canoe. By now the wind was light so I decided to head back to Haileybury. By the time I got into the Haileybury harbour, it was already dark. I unloaded the canoe and then called for a cab from Tri-Town Taxi to take my gear and me to my apartment. The fare was only three dollars so I gave the cab driver five, for the trouble of having to load all my gear into his taxi. After I had taken all my gear in my apartment, I went over to see John. I had taken one load in from the Island. I spent the rest of the evening unpacking and putting things in their proper places. I made some coffee and listen to the radio now that I can plug it into the house current. I was surprised that I had managed to get one load in from the Island today. I had not really expected to be able to do this today.

Journal to be continued....