Category:
JMPR(kinda)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:
I do not own any of these characters and am just playing around with
them. If I am guilty of anything,
it’s watching too much television!
Note: This is a
crossover for the “Pretender” and “Less Than Perfect“.
This is Post IOTH and has some spoilers for the show “Less Than
Perfect“, and a reference to “Philly“. Enjoy!
Less
Than Pretending
Post-Its, I need Post-Its, it wasn’t him, I need Post-Its.
She strode right past a couple of men who were talking in a
reception area and took their glances as leering, not looking.
Post-Its, it wasn’t him, Post-Its, he wasn’t looking, I
need Post-Its.
She walked into the supply office on the 5th floor and
impatiently dinged the bell. Of all
the days not to just call and have the little twit bring them up to her and she
chose this one. It’s okay though
because it wasn’t him.
Owen took his time coming up to the counter and gave her a
once over as he did.
“Well, Lydia. You
came all the way down here, you must need something important.”
He smiled. She fixed a
radiant smile on and locked eyes with him.
“No, just Post-Its.”
She replied. She was being
watched. Don’t turn around just
get the Post-Its and get out of here.
“Ly-dia!” Owen
chimed and she shook her head.
“What?” She
replied.
“Someone must have been day-dreaming.
I asked what color?” Owen
leered.
“Whatever you have.”
She smiled and shifted nervously. Owen
took notice of this.
“Are you in a rush, Ly-dia?” He said her voice in a sing-song manner.
“No, I just need Post-Its.”
She replied.
“Well, we have yellow Post-Its, and pink Post-Its, and blue
Post-Its. We have some with little
designs and plain ones and ones that say memo, or phone message...”
He drawled on, drawing it out.
“Yellow!” She
burst. She took in a breath and
regained her composure. “I’m
sorry, Owen, but I’m not up for games today.”
She said. He screwed his
face into a frown and she knew it wasn’t over yet.
“You didn’t have to shout at me, I’m just trying to do
my job.” He sniffed.
She sighed heavily and reached across the counter and touched his arm
gently.
“Hey, Owen, I said I was sorry. How about I make it up to you?”
She said sweetly. She was
still being watched. Don’t even
sneak a peek.
“Um, would you get me a choca mocha supreme?”
Owen replied after making drawn out thinking sounds.
She beamed and shook her head in agreement.
“Anything you say.”
She chimed. Owen’s face
perked up.
“It’ll be just a minute on those Post-Its.
You did say yellow ones, right?”
“Right.” Then
he was gone. She placed her hands
on the counter and fixed her gaze on the doorway that Owen had gone through.
She wasn’t going to turn around. It
wasn’t him.
“Here are your Post-Its, Lydia. Um, sir did you need something?
Oh.” Owen stopped at the
counter and handed Lydia the Post-Its. “That
was strange.”
“What was?” Lydia
asked.
“There was a man standing behind you at the door.
I guess he must have gotten impatient and left.
You’d be surprised how often that happens.”
He replied. “Oh, and I
know you wanted yellow Post-Its but I thought that the blue ones matched your
eyes.” He smiled.
“How thoughtful.” She
replied and then turned for the door.
“Don’t forget, Lydia, choca mocha supreme.” He
called after her.
In his lap, she thought to herself.
A man had been staring at her in the door.
She quickly got in the elevator and went up to the 22nd floor.
She sat at her desk and took a few deep breaths.
“Miss Parker?” She
heard him say behind her in his velvety baritone. Don’t turn around. “Miss
Parker?” He repeated.
She saw Claudia heading her way.
“Claude!” She
shouted and waved. The redhead
stopped and looked at her curiously. She
rose from her chair and bumped into him. She
straightened her shirt and looked up at his face.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there.”
She said quickly and then moved toward Claudia.
He reached for her arm and held it gently.
He studied her eyes and face and she stared at him blankly.
“Um, can I help you with something?”
“Miss Parker?” He
repeated. She frowned and shook her
head.
“No, you must have me confused with someone else.
I’m Lydia.” She replied.
She could tell he wasn’t satisfied with her answer.
Claudia came over and stood beside Lydia and looked up at the
man, and then at Lydia confused.
“Do you, know each other?”
She asked.
“No.” Lydia
said, breaking her gaze from his and looking at Claudia.
“Um, is there something we can help you with, Mr. ...”
Claudia said and left off drawing out the mister.
“Post.” He
replied. “Jarod Post.
I’m here to see Will Butler.” He
said, looking at Lydia one more time and then at Claudia.
“Do you have an appointment?” Claudia asked.
“No, I couldn’t reach his desk before I came up.
I’m with the FCC.” He said. Claudia
looked nervous and motioned for him to follow her.
He turned and looked at Lydia again before following Claudia into
Will’s office.”
“I owe you a coffee too.”
Lydia said to herself before sitting down in her seat once again, feeling
like her legs were about to buckle beneath her.
He was on a pretend. She
sighed heavily and hoped she could keep up her act.
****
“Oh my God, Ramona. You
had to have seen him!” Claudia
squealed with delight as the two women entered the cafeteria.
“Sounds like I Have to see him.” Ramona giggled in response.
“See who?” Owen
said as he joined them at the counter.
“The guy who came to the office today to see Will!”
Claudia squealed. “He’s from the FCC and his name in Jarod!”
From her seat ten feet away, Lydia choked a little at the
sound of his name. Owen quickly
zeroed in on her.
“Hey! I
thought you were getting me a choca mocha supreme!”
He said in dismay. She
looked up at him and sighed.
“I didn’t know you meant right then.”
Lydia replied. The three of them looked at her and then grabbed their trays
and hurried over to her table. Lydia
decided it was in her best interest to stay put and weather they’re worst.
These people were so giddy it made her sick.
“So, Lydia, you have to tell Ramona about Jarod!”
Claudia grinned. Lydia looked at her over her cup of coffee, she needed a
scotch right now.
“Jarod who?” Lydia
replied.
“The super hot guy who came to the office today!
The guy who was calling you, what was it...?”
Claudia tilted her head back in thought.
“It’s probably not important anyway.”
Lydia muttered.”
“What?” Claudia
asked in dismay.
“Yeah, I remember him, so what?”
“So what? He
was sooo cute!” Claudia squealed.
“Yeah, and there are millions of cute guys out there.”
Lydia replied.
“Miss Parker!” Claudia
said.
“What?” Lydia
asked.
“He called you Miss Parker.” Claudia smiled.
“He clearly mistook me for someone else.”
Lydia replied.
“Oh, how many women out there could look like you?”
Owen asked flirtatiously.
“Obviously one, and her name is Miss Parker.”
Ramona grunted. She eyed Lydia warily. “So
you didn’t think he was cute?” Ramona
asked suspiciously.
“I didn’t notice. Excuse
me.” Lydia said getting up.
She turned to Owen. “I’ll
get you all coffee in the morning, what’ll you have?”
They all gave her their drink orders and watched as she
disappeared through the cafeteria door.
“Is it just me or did Lydia act like she wanted to crawl
out of her skin just then?” Ramona
chuckled.
“You know, she acted like that when Jarod grabbed her arm
and asked if she was Miss Parker.” Claudia
replied.
“Hmm, a gorgeous man and Lydia wants nothing to do with
him?” Ramona asked.
Will walked in with Jarod and Will waved at Claudia.
Claudia turned around and beamed.
“That’s him!” She
whispered. Owen took a look at him.
“Hey, that’s the guy who followed Lydia into the supply
office this morning. He thought for
a moment. “Something’s up.”
Owen said, finally catching on.
*****
Lydia stared at the card that came with her two dozen roses
she’d received on Valentine’s Day. From
your Secret Admirer. How long had
he known she was there? How long
had he been watching her. This is
how the hunted feels. She sighed.
She’d delivered the coffee’s to Claudia and her friends
that morning and they had all regarded her curiously. No, she was just being paranoid.
These people are all superficial airheads, there’s no way they could
even suspect her ruse.
Lydia Weston had been born upon her escape from the Centre.
Lyle had helped her reinvent herself.
Out of what? Pity, love?
Lyle had left as well. They
had orchestrated their departures together once they’d heard nothing from
Jarod for a few months since they’d faced the Triumvirate. Lyle had gone on to Philadelphia to become, of all things, a
Judge. She’d come here to be a
mere secretary.
She’d been so happy with her life outside of the Centre and
now Jarod was here to ruin it for her. Any
time she’d thought she was happy, he’d come along and turned her world
upside down.
She folded the card closed and placed it in her desk drawer,
beside her 9mm Smith and Wesson. She
closed her drawer as she heard Claudia clear her throat.
“Um, Lydia?” The
redhead smiled nervously and fidgeted with her papers.
“Are you alright?”
“Fine, never better.”
Lydia replied, faking a smile.
“You know, if something’s bothering you I could take you
out for ice-cream?” Claudia
smiled raising her eyebrows. He
loves ice-cream.
“I said I was fine. Don’t
you have something you need to be doing?”
Lydia snapped and then returned her paperwork.
“Kipp sent them.” Claudia
said quickly.
“What?” Lydia
said turning around quickly.
“Kipp sent the roses for Valentine’s Day.”
Claudia explained. Lydia smiled with relief and turned back to her work.
Claudia forced a smile and returned to her desk.
*****
“She’s packing heat!”
Claudia whispered to Owen and Ramona at lunch.
“What?” Owen
said not even looking up from his salad which he was artfully decorating with
salad dressing.
“Lydia has a gun in her desk.” Claudia hissed. “And
she was acting really funny today, especially when Jarod was around.”
“Hold on! You
mean that woman has a gun!” Ramona
said, her eyes going wide.
“Yes.” Claudia
replied.
“Maybe she’s afraid of him.” Owen said. “She
was jumpy in the supply office yesterday. “Maybe
he’s bothering her.”
“Or maybe she’s in witness protection!”
Ramona said. “That would explain why he called her a different name.”
“Maybe she’s really in the CIA like Chuck Barris and
he’s a rival spy or something.“ Owen
replied.
“Maybe he’s a crazy ex-boyfriend, or a stalker!”
Ramona added. “That’s why she’s not interested in him.
“Whoa, whoa!” Claudia
said. “You guys are jumping to
conclusions here. It could be
nothing at all and she always keeps a gun in her desk.”
“Now why would she keep a gun in her desk?
Oh, I get it, she’s going to go postal and shoot up the office.
That’s why she’s acting weird.”
Owen said. Claudia’s face
fell.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Now you guys are going to act like Lydia is a gun-toting
crazy woman.” Claudia replied.
“I think I’m going to go to her apartment tonight and talk to her.”
“We should come to, in case she shoots you.”
Ramona said. Claudia rolled her eyes and stabbed at her salad.
*****
Lydia tried to close the elevator doors but he got in before
they were closed all the way. He
straightened his coat and looked at her.
“I like what you’ve done with your hair.”
He said. She ignored him, if
she responded then he’d know.
“I thought it looked nice before, but the highlights really
bring out your skin color. I like
how you toned down your make-up too.” He
continued. She looked up at him.
“What are you talking about? I look the same as I did yesterday.” She replied.
“Miss Parker...”
“My name is Lydia!”
She snapped. He sighed and
his the emergency stop button.
“Lydia Weston did not exist before 2002.”
He said. She cocked her head
and waited for him to say something else.
“Is that all?” She
asked.
“I saw Lyle in Philly.”
He prodded. She reached
forward and pulled out the emergency stop and they descended to the lobby.
The doors opened and she stepped out, he followed her.
“I’m glad
your still alive.” He said.
She stopped and turned slightly.
“So am I.” She
said and continued outside to the sidewalk.
*****
Lydia jumped when she heard the knock at her door.
Had he followed her home too? She
looked through the peep-hole and wasn’t much happier that Claudia and friends
were there but she opened the door anyway.
“Hello, what do you want?”
She said. They all but
knocked her over as they came in and she closed the door and locked it.
“We brought French silk pie!” Claudia chimed. “Is
that scotch?” Claudia grimaced as
she pointed to the glass in Lydia’s hand.
“Yes it is. What
do you want?”
“We’re here to do a little, intervention.”
Claudia said. Lydia shook her head.
“Sorry, but my whole life has been controlled by people who
thought they knew what was best for me.”
Lydia said taking a drink.
“Was Jarod one of them?”
Ramona asked. Lydia sized
her up.
“What would make you think that?” Lydia asked.
“Oh, you acting funny around him and keeping a gun in your
desk.” Claudia said.
“I’m a little put off by anyone who insists that I am
someone who I am not, and I keep a gun for protection.”
Lydia replied.
“Don’t bother asking any more questions, she already has
answers for them.” A man said
from behind them. They all jumped
and whirled around to face Jarod in the inside hallway.
“How the hell did you get in?” Lydia grumbled.
“Fire escape.” Jarod
replied smugly.
“What are you doing here anyway, Jarod?”
Lydia snarled, pouring another glass of scotch.
“Do you want us to kick his butt?” Owen asked, curling his hands into fists and making an
awkward boxer’s pose. Jarod
regarded him curiously.
“No, that’s not necessary.”
Lydia replied, saving Owen some shame.
“I was here on a pretend, I saw you getting office
supplies.” Jarod replied.
“Of course, random chance!
I don’t believe you Jarod! You’ve
been tormenting me for years and when I think I’ve finally escaped all of the
Centre’s madness, you reappear to make my life Hell once again.”
Lydia snapped.
“Might I remind you that you were the one chasing me?”
Jarod asked.
“I stopped, didn’t I?”
Lydia replied.
“Yes, I suppose you did.”
Jarod sighed.
“Turning points.” Lydia
said looking into her glass. Jarod
walked over and turned her toward him and lifted her chin with his fingers to
look at her face.
“You don’t have to stay here, in this job, this life.
You cold come with me and we’d disappear.”
He said softly.
“Is your pretend finished?”
Lydia asked.
“Yes.”
“Mine isn’t. I’m
happy here, I finally have a life of my choosing.” Lydia replied.
“We could do anything you want, go anywhere you want.”
Jarod replied.
“Not now. The
Centre is still chasing you, and if they find out we’re together...”
She stopped and a tear fell from her eye.
Jarod wiped it away with his thumb.
“When you’re ready, I’ll come for you.”
He replied softly. He leaned forward and kissed her. She slid her arms around his neck and they pulled each other
close and kissed for a long time. Claudia
and Ramona but awed sweetly behind them but they ignored it.
They broke their embrace and Jarod squeezed her hand before
he walked out the door. She closed
it gently behind him and stared at it for a moment.
“He never even said goodbye.” Owen said sadly. Lydia
turned around and smiled sadly.
“We never say goodbye.”
Lydia said. Claudia and
Ramona awed again and rushed over to give Lydia hugs.
Lydia smiled at them and then looked serious.
