Gaston: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "No" to Gaston! LeFou: Heh, heh. Darn right. Gaston: Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why it's more than I can bear. LeFou: More beer? Gaston: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. LeFou: Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together LeFou: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston, looking so down in the dumps. Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston, even when talking your lumps. There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favourite guy. Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why. No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston! For there's no man in town half as manly. Perfect! A pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on! Chorus: No one's been like Gaston a kingpin like Gaston LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston. Gaston: As a specimen yes I'm intimidating. Chorus: No one fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston. Cronie: In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston. Girls: For there's no one as burly and brawny. Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare. LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny. Gaston: That's right! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair! Chorus: No one bits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston. LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston. Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey! Chorus: Ten points for Gaston. Gaston: When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs ev'ry morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge. Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston. Makes those beauts like Gaston. LeFou: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston. Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating! Chorus: Say it again. Who's a man among men? And then say it once more. Who's the hero next door? Who's super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers on. There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down. LeFou: And his name's G, A, S... T... G-A-S-T... E, G-A-S-T-O... Oh, Oh! Chorus: Gaston.