Chapter 22

Realizations

When Cassandra opened her eyes and rolled over, she noticed that she was laying on the grass in Jonathan's backyard. She sat up and felt a sharp pain in her head. "It must be tonight," she mumbled. "It's still today, I think." She looked down and saw that she was covered in Nick's long, dark green t-shirt and still in her bikini. She moved the shirt and stood up. "Where is everyone?" She walked into Jonathan's house and looked around. "Guys?" she called. "Why was I left on the lawn?"

No response.

"That's weird." She walked out of the house and somehow ended up at the guys' house and she was still holding Nick's shirt. When she looked into the living room, she couldn't believe her eyes. "I must be dreaming." She saw Coreene, Jonathan, Nicole, Kevin, Emalia, Mercedes and Brian, all crying and Howie was repeating something about something being all his fault. She saw Isabella standing behind Howie, shaking her head and A.J. behind Coreene with his hands on her shoulders. Then she saw Nick. He had his back turned to everyone and he was standing in front of the french doors, looking out over his backyard. She slowly walked up to him and tapped his shoulder.

He immediately turned around. "Cassandra," he gasped. "So it is true."

She pushed him the shirt. "Um, here's your t-shirt back, although I don't know how I got it."

He took the shirt and didn't say a word. He looked at it for a second then dropped it and grabbed her in his arms as tight as he could. "I'm so sorry, Honey."

"Nick...I can't breathe."

He squeezed her tighter. "I never thought that I would feel this bad. But, God, I love you."

"Nick...I can't breathe!"

Nick let go of her and laughed. "Sorry, baby."

Cassandra was furious and confused. "What is going on?" she screamed at Nick as loud as she could. Nick stepped back and Isabella and A.J. turned around.

"Hey did you guys hear that?" Howie said to the group.

"What?" Kevin asked.

Howie stood up. "I swear to God I heard something. Like...like...Cassandra!"

"Howie, no!"

"Yes!"

"Howie, it's not your fault!"

"It is my fault that she died! I was the one that convinced her to get on that fucking diving board. I was the one that told her that everything would be all right!" Howie slumped back onto the couch. "Oh damn it all to hell."

"Okay guys," Cassandra said. "I have this all figured out now."

"Cassandra," A.J. said, "just calm down-"

"I've come to the conclusion that I'm not dreaming so this all must be some sick joke. Isabella, you never died! A.J., you never died and that's the only real way that you could have gotten from the couch to the closet. And Nick...Nick! You bastard. I gave you everything, and you play this sick joke on me? I was so deep into my suffering and now I see that it was all a hoax. Well fuck you, Nick. I hate you! When I leave here, you all can laugh. Very funny! I hope you had fun seeing me wallow in misery!" Cassandra ran towards the door, when all of a sudden, Kevin jumped in her way. She was ready to knock him down, but she ran right through him. "What the-" She looked around and then continued out of the house.

"Cassandra!" Nick yelled. He started to run after her but A.J. caught him.

"No! You know the drill."

"I can't let her go!"

"You'll see her later. Okay? I promise."

Nick stopped struggling. "You're right...I guess."

Cassandra ran up the stairs and to her room. She looked down and saw that she was still in her bathing suit. She quickly changed and jumped on to her bed, but it didn't move. "This is freaky. I don't understand what's going on." All of a sudden, Nick walked into her room. She rolled away from him, burying her head in her pillows. "I thought A.J. wouldn't let you go?"

Nick laughed softly. "I convinced him that I should keep an eye on you. At least for a while." He sat down on her bed next to her.

She rolled over and looked up at him. They both smiled. "There's that smile that I've missed so much, for so long."

"Cassandra, let me be the first to tell you that this is no joke." He placed his hand on her forehead. "And let me be the first to tell you that I wish it were."

"Nick," she said, "what's going on?"

"Sweetie-"

"Don't be nice to me. Just tell me."

He paused for a minute, then took a deep breath. "You're...dead."

She gaped at him. "But...how? There's no way."

"It's was really hard for me at first, too."

"Was it?"

"God, yes! When I first saw Isabella and A.J. and they told me that I had to spend the next, I don't know, seventy years without you, man it was hard."

"I can imagine."

"And I really was in your dreams."

"I know. I always believed it."

"You did?" he asked, laying down.

"Yeah," she said, moving over and making room for him. "I just never wanted anyone to know it. I didn't want them to think that I was crazy. Well, I'm sure that they thought that I was crazy, I was starting to think that I was, too."

"We have so much to talk about."

"Like what?"

"Like...Kimberly, and Brian," he said softly.

"I'm sorry about all that-"

"So much time to make up for."

"I know. Do you know about the fire?"

"Yes, I do. I know about Jason."

"Unbelievable, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I never, ever would have brought you into that basement if I had known that there was the slightest possibility that you could get hurt."

"It's okay, Honey. Hey, you died, I didn't."

He smiled. "But just think...we have the rest of eternity to spend with each other. That is, if you still want me."

"Nickolas!" she yelled.

He was startled. "What? What did I do now?"

"How dare you say such a thing? I have been waiting every second of every hour for the day that we would be together again. And it's about time." Cassandra turned her head and noticed something. She felt around her neck and pulled her diamond heart necklace from underneath her shirt. "And this is another reason."

Nick glanced over at the nightstand and saw their rings. "Hey, how come you still have your heart necklace but we don't have our rings?"

"I dunno. Maybe the necklace means more."

"What?" he cried jumping out of the bed and walking towards the door. He stopped and turned around and glared at the rings.

"Nick?" she asked, but he glared at the rings harder and deeper by the second. Anger and rage filled within him, and Cassandra began to feel it. She wasn't used to feeling someone else's emotions so she didn't know what was going on. She started to feel nauseous. "Nick, stop it!" The rage grew until it circulated and was shared between the couple until, all of a sudden, the rings fell from the nightstand, making a soft patter as they hit the carpet.

The next morning, Nick woke up early. He looked at the clock and it read five o'clock. He groaned and looked at Cassandra who was still asleep. How can she sleep? he thought. He brushed her hair out of her face and gently kissed her forehead. He quietly slipped out of the room and walked out to the front lawn. He sat on the grass and saw the sun begin to rise in the distance. All of a sudden, someone sat down next to him. He turned and saw Isabella. "Hey," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep. What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep either."

"Is it about this whole thing with Cassandra?"

"Yeah. How'd you guess?" he asked sarcastically.

"Because I'm having the same problem. I don't know how A.J. can sleep through all of this."

"Exactly!"

"Now you're worried about A.J.'s sleeping habits?"

"No. I mean I don't know how Cassandra can sleep either. I mean she just died and she's back with me."

"Gee."

"I want to do something nice for her. I don't know, I guess to introduce her to this whole thing. We haven't gotten to spend any time together since...you know."

"Yeah. A.J. and I have been so caught up in this whole thing, too, that we haven't spent any time together either. What are you going to do for Cassie?"

"I dunno. Do you have any ideas?"

"No but it sounds like something that I should do for A.J."

"Well if you get any ideas, please tell me," he said, standing up.

"I will. Where are you going?"

"There's something I gotta do."

"What?"

"Just something. It's nothing."

"Um, whatever. See ya later."

"Yeah," Nick said over his shoulder as he walked back inside the house.

Later on that evening, Mercedes and Brian sat in the guys' living room with Kevin, Emalia and Coreene. They had eaten dinner early and they didn't want to leave Coreene alone too long since Cassandra had just died.

"Did anyone make funeral arrangements?" Emalia finally spoke up.

"I did," Coreene answered.

"Oh," Emalia said quietly.

"It's for two weekends from today."

"But that's only in a week and a half!" Kevin jumped in.

"It can't be in a week and a half!" Brian also jumped in.

"I-I can change it if you need to," Coreene said.

Kevin paused and looked over at Brian. "No, it's...it's okay."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes! I'm sorry, I mean, yes."

"It's okay, hun," Mercedes said and threw her arm around Coreene.

"Brian, can I talk to you for a second?" Kevin asked.

"Sure," Brian said and he and Kevin stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"Okay, that was weird," Mercedes commented.

"Brian," Kevin said, "should we tell them?"

"We should, but we can't."

"I agree. If we did, Coreene would just get more upset and so would everyone else, then Coreene would have to change the date and it would just make her even more upset and then-"

"Kevin!" Brian interrupted. "I get the point. I understand. We shouldn't do that to Coreene. But how could they not know what is in a week and a half?"

"I don't think that any of us are thinking straight right now and I'm sure that Coreene wasn't exactly thinking about it when she was setting the date for her second sister's funeral. But I won't believe that they don't actually know what that date is."

Kevin only nodded his head in agreement.

Later on that evening, Kevin and Emalia had wanted to spend some time talking things out and had already gone up to his room and Coreene had gone upstairs early to stay in Brian's room. Brian had agreed to stay with Mercedes in her room at the girls' house, and Nicole and Jonathan had been over his house the entire day.

"Mercedes?" Brian asked.

"Yeah?" she asked turning to him.

"How about we go up to the beach house, our house, some time soon?"

"That sounds good. But why?"

"Because I think that we need to spend some time alone together and talk and work some things out."

"I think that sounds like a good idea."

"Mercedes, I really want to work everything out."

"I do, too. I really love you."

"I love you so much. I'm so sorry. And now...Cassie's gone. It's my fault that you two parted on bad terms."

"Oh, no, Sweetie. We didn't part on bad terms. We worked things out."

"How so-"

"Just trust me."

"I do. But can you trust me again?"

Mercedes didn't say anything. She flashed him a smile and leaned in to slowly kiss him. He pushed his tongue through her mouth and she instantly swayed her tongue with his, knowing in the back of her mind, that things between her and Brian would get better, soon.

Nick walked into Cassandra's room as she was changing. "Sorry!" he said and turned around.

"It's okay, Sweetie." She laughed. "You've seen me in less."

"Good point!" he said and whipped back around.

"Too late," she said. "I'm already dressed."

"Shoot," he mumbled and sat down on her bed. She laughed and sat down on the other side of the bed, facing him. "I've missed being able to laugh with you."

"Me, too," she said, smiling. "There's a lot that we have to make up for."

"Like what?" he asked grinning.

"Like...this," she said and leaned over and placed her mouth over his. She forced her tongue into his mouth, pushed him down onto her bed, and moved her body to lay on top of his.

"Hello!" Nick said, surprised.

She smiled as she pinned his wrists up over his head. "You like?"

He nodded his head and she leaned down to kiss him again.

Emalia wrapped her arms tighter around Kevin as he continued to cry on her shoulder. "Shh, it'll be okay, Sweetie."

"I-I can't believe she's gone, too! I needed her!"

"What about me, Honey?"

Kevin looked up at her. "Oh no, don't get the wrong idea! I need you, too, most definitely, but I needed her to talk to about you. Like when we were having problems, I had no one else to turn to. I really regret now that we weren't good friends in the beginning like Isabella and I were, but towards the...end, we became the best of friends. She was married to one of my best friends and we never took the time to get closer until it was too late." Kevin dropped his head back onto her shoulder.

Strangely enough, Emalia felt sorry for him, and for herself. She had just lost her closest cousin, and they had parted on bad terms, too. When Kevin talked about her, she wasn't jealous now as she was when he had been comparing their relationship to Nick and Cassandra's. "It's okay, Kevin. It's okay."

Later on that night, Nick sat up in the bed, waking Cassandra up.

"Honey?" she asked sleepily.

"I-I have to go somewhere," he said standing up.

"Um, okay. I'll go with you then-"

"No," he said definitely. "I have to go alone. Just stay here and I'll be right back."

"Um-" She didn't get to finish before he walked out of the room.

Nick walked out of the house, down the street, to the end and stopped. He looked across the street at the foundation of Isabella and A.J.'s house. The top rim of the cement was black and the rest of the house lay in a pile of burned wood. He gasped repeatedly as memories of that night of the fire came into his mind. There was so much that he didn't understand. I want to know who killed us...I mean me. He then had a flash of the night that Isabella died. That fabric... He tried to picture it and it was as familiar now as it was the night he found it. Why can't I remember who's it is? It's so familiar... The name was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say it. Damn it! Why can't I think of who it is? He stared at the house for a while and decided that he needed to discuss this with Cassandra. But not now. Too much was going on. He turned on his heel and headed back towards the house.