If You Are Unhappy
Once upon a time there was a nonconforming
sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he
reluctantly started to fly south.. In a short time ice
began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in
a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by an
Crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought
it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and
defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to
breathe, he started to sing. Just then a
large cat came by and hearing the chirping,
investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the
chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The Moral of the Story
Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
Everyone who gets you out of the shit
is not necessarily your friend
And if your warm and happy in a pile of shit,
The 747 Has Everything
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of using the
mens's room. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied.
The stewardess aware of his predicament suggested he
use the ladies room, but cautioned him against pressing
any of the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked
"W.W", "W.A.", "P.P.", and "A.T.R.". Eventually his
curiosity got the better of him and sitting there he carefully
pressed the first button marked "W.W.". Immediately
warm water sprayed his ass. He thought golly the gals
really have it made. Still curious he pressed the next
button marked "W.A.". Warm air dried his ass completely.
This he thought was out of this world. The button marked
"P.P." yielded a large powder puff which patted his bottom
lightly with accented powder. Naturally he just coule not
resist the last one marked "A.T.R.".
When he awoke at the hospital, he panicked and buzzed
the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, what happened?
The last thing I remember I was in the ladies room aboard a
plane. The nurse replied, "Yes you were, but you were also
cautioned about pressing the buttons. Your were really
having a great time until you pressed the button marked
"A.T.R." which stands for automatic tampax remover.
Your penis is under your pillow...
