DEFINITIONS::::

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BATCH: A group, kinda like a herd.
XMODEM: A spot-marking transfer protocol.
YTERM: A terminal program for queries.
SQWERTY: Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy?

I haven't lost my mind; I'm sure it's backed up on tape somewhere!

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

I’m sorry sir we need to install this program on a new computer.
Please install this program to a different user.

There are two major products to come out of Berekley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. -- Andy Rooney

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. -- Groucho Marx
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