Little Johnny
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Young Johnny never quite got over his miserable
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 he joined the Marines,
but old habits die hard and one night the sergeant found him rummaging around
the garbage and eating out of the discarded cans and jars.
'On your feet, Lizard Pecker,' he bellowed. 'You'll eat in the mess hall
-- you're no better than the rest of us!'
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Little Johnny is late to class one day and the teacher asks him where
he has been. He replies I've been down by the creek sticking cherry bombs up
frogs asses. You mean rectum corrected the teacher. Yeah says Little Johnny,
Wrecked 'em all right, it blew 'em into little pieces!!
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Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of
bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.
Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, 'This is a good opportunity to
say something from the bible to Little Johnny.'
He walks up to Little Johnny and says, 'I see Little Johnny that you have the
Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?'
Little Johnny replies, 'A loaf of bread Father.'
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Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid
back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what
he was doing?
Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the
world."
The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in
the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on a pregnant woman's
belly, she will pass a boy!"
Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is turpentine. If you put this on a
cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson......."
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