During
the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a
really fierce battle. 'Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?'
The Marine replied, 'I got my four Sir.'
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It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his
first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young
Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out 'Sir, Good
Evening, Sir!'
*
The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said 'Good
evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?'
Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree
with the General, so the he saluted again and replied 'Sir, Yes Sir!.'
The General continued, 'You know there's something about a stormy night
that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?'
The Private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and
responded 'Sir, Yes Sir!'
The General, pointing at the dog, 'This is a Golden Retriever, the best
type of dog to train.'
The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said 'Sir, Yes
Sir!'
The General continued 'I got this dog for my wife.' The Private simply
said 'Good trade Sir!'
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There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a
guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air
Force guy who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to
watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each
other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The squid manages to
climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and
says, 'Man, I am really lucky to be alive!' Likewise the ARMY guy scrambles out
of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes his head and
says to himself, 'I can't believe I survived this wreck!'
The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, 'Hey
guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty
differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals.' The ARMY guy thinks for
a moment and says, 'You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends.'
The Air Force guy says 'Let me see what else survived this wreck.' So he
pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
He says to the NAVY and Army guys, 'I think this is another sign from
God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship.' The
Swabbie says, 'You're right!' and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down
Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the bottle the Squid hands it
to the ARMY guy and says, 'Your turn!' The ARMY guy sucks down a third and hands
the bottle back to the Air Force guy.
The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, 'I think
I'll wait for the cops to show up.'
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Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was
asked by the doctor, 'Why do you want to join the Navy, son?'
'My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.'
'Oh? And what does your father do?'
'He's in the Army, sir.'
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The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the
field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1st Sgt said: 'Sir, look up into
the sky and tell me what you see.'
The CO said 'I see millions of stars.'
1st Sgt.: 'And what does that tell you, sir?'
CO: 'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great
and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?'
1st Sgt.: 'Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent.'
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