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It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out 'Sir, Good Evening, Sir!'
*
The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said 'Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?'

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied 'Sir, Yes Sir!.'

The General continued, 'You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?'

The Private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded 'Sir, Yes Sir!'

The General, pointing at the dog, 'This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train.'

The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said 'Sir, Yes Sir!'

The General continued 'I got this dog for my wife.' The Private simply said 'Good trade Sir!'

 

 

 

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There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.

In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, 'Man, I am really lucky to be alive!' Likewise the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes his head and says to himself, 'I can't believe I survived this wreck!'

The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, 'Hey guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals.' The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, 'You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends.'

The Air Force guy says 'Let me see what else survived this wreck.' So he pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.

He says to the NAVY and Army guys, 'I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship.' The Swabbie says, 'You're right!' and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the bottle the Squid hands it to the ARMY guy and says, 'Your turn!' The ARMY guy sucks down a third and hands the bottle back to the Air Force guy.

The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, 'I think I'll wait for the cops to show up.'

 

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Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, 'Why do you want to join the Navy, son?'

'My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.'

'Oh? And what does your father do?'

'He's in the Army, sir.'

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The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1st Sgt said: 'Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.'

The CO said 'I see millions of stars.'

1st Sgt.: 'And what does that tell you, sir?'

CO: 'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?'

1st Sgt.: 'Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent.'

 

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