To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ <click>..... NO CARRIER

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy?

C program run, C program crash, C programmer quit.

Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue

Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Hit any user to continue.
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
Backup not found (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Best file compression around: " DEL *.* " = 100% compression

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
DOS Tip #18: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
DOS Tip #19: Add NOIQ.exe /duh to your autoexec.bat
DOS Tip #20: Add NOSMOKE.exe /Y to your autoexec.bat
DOS Tip #21: If all else fails install to a new user!

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