Raining Promises
Chapter 1
Dearest Diary,
What would you say if I were to confess that I finally fell for a man, after all these years? After all the promises I made to myself?
What would you say if I were to confess it was love at first blush for us?
What would you say if I were to confess he is the one who is always intruding my thoughts? Every single moment of everyday?
Would you laugh at me? For being such a romantic fool, believing in miracles, perhaps, even wishing for one to appear? Or would you offer me the comfort of your shoulders, and offer me boxes of Kleenex tissues?
It is almost ironic.
Once, I promised myself I will never fall for a guy, no matter how appealing he might be. I have witnessed my parent’s marriage. It had been such a failure. Yes, they did love each other at first. But then, somehow, somewhere, sometime, things got a bit out of hand. My parents set a frightening example of what marriage can be.
However, it seems fate is toying with my feelings, poking fun at me, making me a fool out of myself. I was head over heels in love with him the first time we met.
Oh, it was quite romantic. Although, I must confess, I have always dreamed of meeting the prince of my dreams under slightly different circumstances. Under the pale, silvery moonlight beams, by the shore of a clear, shallow river, beside numerous tall, unyielding trees, or perhaps even by a beach at night, when the breeze blows ever so slightly, and when the waves crash gently at the rocks. Yes, that will be ideal. But, to meet him in this setting? When I am crying? When I am not myself? Oh!
I could not sleep tonight, and so, I went out for a walk. I walked deep into the woods, to a spot I always come to, whenever I am troubled. It always managed to bring me peace, and solitude. There, I felt someone’s gaze upon me. Curiosity getting the better of me, I looked up. From where I stood, he seemed to be tall, muscular, even handsome. He was the prince of every girls’ dreams. Oh yes. He has a very boyish look, perhaps even baby-faced? He is definitely the type of man to have girls swooning over him. Recalling now, I could not really see his face, as there was a slight coat of mist hanging in the air. You see, it was only five in the morning.
We stared at each other endlessly. Seconds ticked by, minutes drew abreast of us. Millenniums passed. It was then the world ceased to exist. It was just him, and myself. Something I could not fathom passed between us. Could it be an invisible surge of electricity, the stereotypical moment in all romance movies? I do not know. Then, there was this tingling feel travelling up and down my spine. Did one call that ‘instant attraction’? I have no answer to that either.
Slowly, he started towards me.
“Hi,” a slight pause, “I saw you just outside the gardens a moment ago. You looked somewhat,” another pause, “somewhat distressed. So, I followed you, to see if I can be of any help to you.”
How sweet can he be? And what can I say? I was not prepared for this, oh, not at all. I was so distraught at the moment.
“Thanks,” I replied a little softer than I intended. “I am fine.”
He only searched my face intently. After a moment, he answered, “Then why are you crying? I have been told what a great listener I am. Maybe I can help you, if you will but let me,” his deep husky voice trailed off.
Before I can think of a suitable response, he tilted my face. He trailed his index finger all the way from my eyes, down the bridge of my nose, finally, stopping at my mouth. A huge lump formed in my throat. I could not breathe. Help! My mind screamed.
“You know, I am a coward. A lady’s tears unnerve me,” he smiled slightly and brushed his thumb pad ever so gently across my face. My heart pounded with sheer force. I closed my eyes slightly. Did he feel what I felt?
Alarm bells continued to shriek inside of my head. I am upset by my parents’ final decision to file for a divorce. My life was already complicated enough, without the addition of this guy. Whoever he is, he only makes me more confused. I extricated myself from him, and backed away slightly.
“I-I-I have to go. Um, it was ah, nice meeting you.”
“Wait,” he called out anxiously, “I believe I did not manage to catch your name---.”
I was already halfway through the woods, on my way back home, even before he managed to finish his sentence. I decided his presence was alarming.
My instincts told me something is wrong. There is just something about that guy, mysterious, sweet, dangerous, kind. What kind of character is that anyway???
Please help me out, dear diary. I am assailed with doubt, incredulity, and confusion. Mom and dad are yelling at each other at the stairway now. Oh! My life is such a mess.
Leah
Chapter Two
One Week later
“What’s wrong with you?” Peter pointed out, “First, you were clearly annoyed
at breakfast, then now, you are so quiet. Even at the shooting session an hour
ago.”
Peter Phillips and William just came back from a clay pigeon-shooting
session, one of their favourite pastimes. They were now sauntering through the
gardens of Balmoral. Lately, Peter noticed William wasn’t talking as much as
he used to. In fact, he was quite temperamental these days.
William sighed.
“Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs,” Peter jokingly said in a
no-nonsense tone.
“Stop quoting Shakespeare will you? Never quote from ‘Romeo & Juliet’. I do
not wish to be reminded of their tragic affair - at least not now.”
They had stopped walking, and now, they are in the deepest section of the
garden, furthest away from the main wing of the Palace.
“These flowers are beautiful, aren’t they? Greta and the staff do a good job
looking after them,” William commented.
“Yes, Greta and the staff do a wonderful job looking after the flowers. Now,
why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?” and before William could
reply, Peter continued, “Don’t bother to deny it, I know something is wrong.
Unlike the others, I am not fooled.”
Peter pensively studied his cousin’s perfectly sculpted face. One which often
sends girls swooning over him. There, he saw numerous conflicting emotions
fleeting across his face ~ excitement, sorrow, an infinite depth of sorrow,
and the rest, he just could not make out what the other expressions meant.
“I met this girl a week ago,” William spoke quietly. He was surprised when he
heard the tone of his voice, tinged with such sadness and helplessness.
“So I see, my dear cousin finally met the inevitable in life ~ girl problems,
huh?” Peter teased gently.
“She’s so, so - I can’t find the right words to describe her,” William
struggled with the right words. “She just looked so helpless and troubled
standing amongst the flowers and shrubs. And I do not know why but, but, I
just feel compelled to help her. This is all so new to me, a first actually.
I’ve never approached a girl before.” He attempted to lighten the atmosphere,
and added, “Usually, it’s the other way round, girls flock to me.”
William realized then that his heart was thumping with sheer force, actually,
thrice the normal rate at the slight mention of the girl he met a week ago. I
didn’t even catch her name, he thought bitterly. And where does she live? How
can I track her down? England’s so vast.
“You know this thing about raging teen hormones? You know, you have been
without a girlfriend for months now. So, you know, maybe your reaction is
really unaccounted for,” Peter teased lightly.
Usually, at such times, William would just retort back verbally, or tease his
cousin in return. But not today. His spirits just felt so dampened. Talking
certainly doesn’t interest him in the least today, much less a round of light
teasing.
A heartbeat of silence.
After observing the reserved William, Peter suggested, “You know, it’s not
always a good idea to bottle up your feelings, and since I am here today,
maybe I can help you resolve this crisis. It’s the girl, isn’t it? Did you go
for a stroll again last week? Is that how you met her?”
“Yes to both your questions. She was clearly upset, and I merely followed
her, offering my assistance. She fled the moment she was given her chance.”
William purposefully avoided the part where he trailed his finger from her
eyes, to her lips, in another second, he mused, I will be kissing her.
“Damn,” William swore, “I do not know what’s wrong with me. She is all I can
think of. She’s constantly intruding my thoughts,” William raised his voice,
frustrated at this helplessness to stop the worsening of this miserable
situation. The worst thing is, there is not one single thing I could do to
help alleviate this situation. “I have never been obsessed with one girl
before. Secondly, I have just violated rule number 3: Never approach a girl or
show your affections for her in public. Granny will be giving me a sound
lecture once this gets to the press. Arggh!!”
All this while, Peter have been listening silently, pondering over this
situation. He agreed with his cousin whole-heartedly ~ It was not like William
to be so temperamental. Being William’s confidante, he knew William’s never
been obsessed with a girl. Sure, everyone has infatuations, including William,
~ but no. William’s never been obsessed. That girl must be really special to
him, to be able to upset him at great length. Lastly, Peter thought, William
is always wary and cautious when it comes to girls, so what can be wrong with
him to commit such a reckless gesture?
He racked his brain for answers. Out of the blue, a thought struck him.
I think he’s in love, Peter mused.
Peter reached over and gave William’s shoulder socket a thump. “Just listen
to your heart and stop fighting the surfacing raw emotions you have never
known yourself to possess,” at that moment, he saw William’s brow knit in
confusion, and let out a sigh, “Trust me, cousin. I am an expert when it comes
to girls.”
Chapter Three
Dear Diary,
I do not know exactly what I am feeling at the moment. Days ago, I knew I
was confused and doubtful about my future, as well as about my parents’
future. Now, I think I am numb emotionally. Honestly, I have been through so
much that I think nothing in life can surprise me anymore. I know this may
sound really silly, but I think I have had all the challenges a human-being
would ever need. I am beaten, beaten right down to the dust.
Is there ever a time, when you ponder and wonder why your parents do not
want to make an effort to know you? They claim they know who their daughter
is, just by judging me from the outside ~ physically. They do not know what is
running through my mind, and I do not bother to correct their mistakes of
making the wrong judgements about me because I feel terribly exhausted. I felt
as if I had just ran a ten mile marathon, perhaps I do not even care anymore
what my parents think of me, and how they judge me. I am wondering this very
moment, why I have not yet experienced emotional breakdown. I am tired of
putting and maintaining a façade in front of my parents to make them happy. I
am so upset by their decision to file for a divorce that I tried so hard to
maintain a façade in front of them, hoping and wishing feverishly with all my
heart that I am able to bring my parents back together again. I was no longer
the adventurous girl I once was, instead, I was a boring, obedient daughter.
Somehow, I just have this crazy notion that if I behave obediently, my parents
will just drop the divorce case and then we could just live normally hence. I
know that my task is impossible to accomplish, but then again, it was only an
idea used to comfort myself. Desperate people would just cling onto any absurd
idea that struck them in any untimely hour of the day.
Do you remember the mysterious guy I met the other day in the woods?
You know, he made me think really hard these past two weeks. He appeared to
be a guy, who had everything he wanted, even his parents’ love and attention –
but then again, looks can be deceiving. There is always more to an issue than
the side of argument which is presented to us. I finally confessed to myself,
that when I met him, I longed to pour out everything to him ~ what I am
experiencing at that moment, my thoughts, all the torments I had been through,
everything. (All I ask be for someone to listen to me complain about life. Is
that too much to ask for? ) Yet, on the other hand, another part of my brain
argued back that why would this particular guy take interest in my private
life, when all others don’t?
My friends often told me not to bottle up my feelings for long, because it
is very unhealthy. So, I mean, ah, do you think I should, I mean, you know,
life is always full of surprises, so, you know, ah, if I ever meet that
mysterious guy again, do you think I should just ask him to sit down and just
listen to me babble about my personal life for five minutes? That is probably
a bad idea. He’ll just run away the instant he has a chance to. I mean, who am
I kidding! No one takes interest in my life, so why would he be any different?
Arrghh!! I hate this indecisive part of my character!!
Is there ever a time when you felt as helpless as I am at this very moment?
And just before I end this entry, I want to confess another thing ~ but
promise me, that you wouldn’t laugh at me?
Well, nothing was ever the same since I met that guy a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah, so go ahead and laugh out loud. Ha ha ha! Finally, the girl who had
sworn never to trust a guy is starting to let him dominate her thoughts,
UNINTENTIONALLY. It’s true! I didn’t mean to think of him, you know, he just
happened to command my brain to think of him. You are my only ally, my only
friend who knows all my deepest darkest secrets. You just have to believe me!!
Alright, alright, I should have known you could just see through me almost
immediately, yeah, so what if I want to think of him? *Sigh * Okay, okay, so
from now onwards, I will just try to check myself often, and tell myself to
stop thinking about him, are you happy now? Geez, (Author’s Note: Leah often
gets imaginative and creative, and personifies her diary as her friend)
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am going to bed now lest he
intrudes my thoughts again and robs me of my much-needed rest.
Leah
Chapter 4
A Year Later, at a University in Oxbridge
This chapter, as well as the rest of the story, will be written in Sarah’s
perspective, except for the diary entries. (Sarah is Leah’s friend as well.)
“Leah, wait up!” Edward called out; he was elbowing his way through all the
students who were walking along the main corridor.
Alright, so later on, I will tell Professor Jackson the truth that I have
completely forgotten to do my assignment, but then he’ll say how irresponsible
I am… Leah was just conjuring up a plan when she heard someone call out her
name. Startled, she turned around, only to find Edward waving at her a short
distance away.
“How are you? Why are you looking so gloom?” he inquired thoughtfully.
“You know the piece of assignment that is due today?” seeing his confusion,
Leah elaborated, “The piece of English assignment on Shakespeare?” he nodded.
“Well, I’ve completely forgotten about it. And I do not know
how to tell Professor. He’ll probably be really annoyed with whatever reasons
I come up with,” she finished with a sigh.
Edward laid his hand on Leah’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t worry
too much about it. I’m sure everything will work out just fine. If worse comes
to worse, I’ll go up with you and tell him that the both of us have forgotten
to do it. Now, how about that?”
“That’s unnecessary, but thanks. You’re a true friend, Ed.”
It was November, and Leah had just begun her first year in college. Ed and
Leah had the same Biology class, and that was how she met him on the second
day of the new term. He was a really easy- going and humorous bloke and she
really liked him. Don’t get me wrong! She did not fancy him as a boyfriend,
but actually, more of a male friend. Ed and myself are Leah’s best friends in
college. She always claims: The both of you understand me more than anyone
else does. However, Leah felt more comfortable confiding in me her latest
crush… and so, I am privy to all her secrets, or rather, things which others
didn’t know about. Ed, on the other hand, was a bloke. So, naturally, he was
not as aware as I am with regards to Leah’s boring love life. Well actually,
he knows everything, every single secret of Leah’s, as do I, but with the
exception of one. The one and only deepest, darkest secret Leah guards
fiercely of.
Leah told me about her encounter with this really mysterious bloke, someone,
according to her, who affected her “more profoundly than any others”.
Someone, who “unnerved” her more than any others do. I recalled her being
extremely distracted for the next few weeks after that strange encounter. A
few weeks later, she found out that he is a Prince. Literally wise. A real
flesh and blood Prince. This staggering reality shattered her fanciful dreams
of herself and him being together. Leah would never admit this. But as her
best friend, I seemed to know what she was thinking of most of the time.
Unlike myself, Leah was not really into dating. To quote her exact words, “I
am dull, unattractive, and foolish. I don’t think many of the opposite sex
will be interested in me, especially not with Ellie and Jane around.”
I wanted to choke her with my bare hands after listening to
Leah recite this speech over and over again to friends who inquire about her
personal life. Didn’t she see it? I meant, Leah could be really lame
sometimes. Well, not lame, but… she tends to degrade herself, simply by
worshipping many of our female friends, all of whom she considered to be
really pretty. Okay, I did admit that Leah wasn’t really that attractive, at
least, she didn’t send the blokes into a goo—goo—ga—ga state. However, she was
attractive nonetheless and her inner beauty simply made one go speechless. Her
endless compassion, her love for the less fortunate, her intelligence, her
humour… Surely there must be some blokes who go for a girl’s inner beauty
rather than her looks? Or are there?
Come on, tell me. Did anyone you know rather work voluntarily
in an orphanage than going out or spending her time with friends and
boyfriends? The answer is ‘no’. Leah’s parents were legally divorced now, and
she said she did not want the orphans to feel lonely, unhappy, and worst of
all, lost and unwanted. According to Leah, she hoped that her presence would
be able to ease at least part of the loneliness of the childrens’. I could go
on forever about her character, --- helpful, kind, understanding… These traits
simply made her stand out amongst the crowd, but she didn’t realise it. I
don’t think she ever will, and I guess that was the saddest part of all. Leah
did go on dates, but she hadn’t been on as many as I had before her encounter
with the Prince, but that was because she was desperately holding back, she
didn’t want to be in a relationship which, would hurt her deeply if the
opposite party should decide to break up with her. That was partly because she
had witnessed her mother’s hurt, utter helplessness and her total despair when
her father announced that he wanted to file for a divorce. She did not want
history to repeat itself.
However, after her encounter with the Prince, her reasons
for not going on dates altered dramatically. She confided that “every other
bloke just pale in comparison when compared to Prince William”, and that she
was not “really interested in anyone at the moment.”
Once, she told me that she would not fall for any bloke, no
matter how appealing he might be. Come on, no girls living on Planet Earth are
immune to blokes! But knowing Leah, deep down, she was an incurable and an
eternal romantic. Being such, I believed a part of Leah was romantically
inclined towards the Prince. She wills herself to believe that one day, she
would be able to meet the Prince, to be his friend, or maybe, his girlfriend;
but the cynical aspect of Leah was urging her conscience to believe that it
would never happen in a million years, because of their respective status in
society. Somehow, I sensed a fierce loyalty in her, to remain “faithful” to
the Prince--- in other words, to not fall for the other blokes simply because
she cared enough for him. This might sound totally absurd at first, but after
giving it much thought, I concluded that this shocking, yet delightful notion
was not untypical of Leah, or was it?
All of a sudden, Leah’s love life seems brighter than ever.
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