Me and Jay Scum Leno with Kimberscumly.
Yes, it is DDP here and I want you to read all of this scummy stuff. These are my views, and if you dont ike it, you're a major scumbag. I feel the scum to express myself to Dominick Scum Mardukas and the rest of the scum. Here we go.
Is it me, or is Bret the Hitscum Hart a scumbag? I mean, scum on. He always cheats and scums his way to victories, he hits referees and to top it all off he still calls himscelf the best there is was and ever will be. He is the scummiest there is was and ever will be. I mean, he can never step scup to the plate and get banged, even though it makes me jacked, and if he wants ever to stop scumming around, call me, because, Bret, I'll be there to BANG you. Wait a minute...
And onto another scubject. Big Poppa Scump. He scums around flexing his scumb muscles while homaging to Hollywood Scum Hogan. I'll say this to Scum Steiner: the next time you want a real challenge, step up, because I sure would like to get jacked up to bang you, pal. I mean...You know, not in THAT way...
Ahh, Vincent Scum McMahon, the owner of the scumelyou WF. And his little monkey boy, Shane McScum. They think they are so hot, they think they own everything, they dont own JACK. I do, he's my hamster. But anyways, Scum Cold Steve Austin likes to mimick my movies, The Corporate Scum Rocky Maivia calls himself the people's champ. He's just a scum champ, in my opinion. And that freak, SCUMKIND, thinks he's a hardcore champ. Brother, I have seen rougher times than that kid. The World Scumling Federation needs to close down before I bang them all.
So, Hollywood Scum Hogan thinks he is going to be a president, huh? Haha. Hahahahahahah. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahah----scum----hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I tell you what, monkey-boys, if anyone votes for that scum to run the scumtry, I will find out who they are and bang them personally. Wait, no, I didnt...mean----
Why is Kimberly still with me??? All it has caused her is to be beat up but the scum-W-owe. Being made fun of and all of that, what the scum is her problem? To top it off, I cant even bang her good.
I am too sick and scum of Sleazy E, Eric Scum Bischoff. Who the scum does he think he is? The president of WCW? If he beats Ric Flair at Scumcade, I'll be happy to jump on him and jack him down. Umm....God DAMMIT!!! I didnt mean it like that...SCUM you!!!
Now lets talk a little about Bill Goldscum. If he's so perfect, why did he loose to Sammy Sosa?? (Dominick breaks in: I'm as lost as you are at this point)
Scum.
If there's one thing I cant scum, its the scumpack. Who do they think they are??? Gangsters? Hell, they're a bunch of 40 year old rich scums that go around talking about the ghetto. Hell, if a multi-million dollar contract with Turner Sports, A backyard inground 300 by 300 square foot pool, a 7 million dollar mansion and a brand new sports car every month is ghetto, well, none of us have ever seen ghetto. (Dominick breaks in: WAIT A MINUTE!!! Did he just make sense and say something TRUE!?! Is DDP becoming SANE???)
Well, last week I ate a piece of shit. (Dominick breaks in:Hmm, maybe not.)
I get jacked when you feel the bang, scumbag.
Why is scum so scummy?
I think I'm going to tell you the real reason for this column. I dont know how to break it to you. Um.... Last week, my doctor...Jack Kevorkian, he uh....he diagnosed me with a rare disease that makes me say the word "Scum" every 15 seconds. In fact, Dr Kevorkian says it is so rare that it only occurs in 1 out of every person on earth, once in a scum lifetime. And now...now Jack says I must be put to sleep. Good scum bye to all of you scums. I love you all. Dont scum forget me. And all of the scum times we have together. Thanx for everything. Scum.
