I watched as you walked away.
Tried hard to displace myself
As my life shattered into pieces again.
Being alone shouldn't stun me anymore.
I thought I must have grown harder.
I didn't cry when you whispered goodbye,
Held me so tight as if you didn't really want to go,
Or you thought it would be the last time.
But the familiar warmth spread like wildfire
Through the depths of my soul,
When you called to tell me everything was fine
And the weakness in me became apparent once more.
Just like those hours between dusk and dawn
When the silence around me is deafening
The screaming within me remains unheard
And the shadows threaten to swallow me whole.
I seek shelter within myself,
Try to hide from the darkness I once longed for.
I found its embrace comforting.
Now I can only drown in its wrath.
My dreams hold no mercy.
So rare that they lead me to you.
Yet in the light of day,
The memories burn every thought.
You haunt every song I hear.
I can't go anywhere without remembering.
Perhaps the night is forgiving after all.
Such a damnable desire.
Sometimes I wish I didn't love you like that anymore,
That I could shrug and move on,
Burning our bridges behind me,
Give all that I am to another,
Maybe a smile with every step away from what we shared.
But then the truth obliterates the fool who dreams of forgetting,
And the reality kicks me so hard.
This passion keeps me from dying.
The pain of losing you again
Is what tells me I'm still alive.
My heart beats out its aching desperation.
I am not mine to give away again.
Somehow it is a consolation that you're happy.
Still it is a hope running deeper than blood,
That this is only an intermission
In a movie meant to last forever.
The bond grows stronger every day,
From a distance that seems endless.
I sense you're still close
I hear your every word, feel every touch and emotion,
Taste every breath from your body,
Is it an illusion or madness?
Or the essence of being soulmates?
It doesn't really matter to me now.
The fates would have me believe it's over,
But destiny offers the solace of the truth.
Otherwise, living without you would kill me...

- L.C. 2000