Every thought I have revolves around you,
Involving and surrounding you,
Every second of every day.
Then suddenly, you’re on the phone,
Or you’re online with me.
Regardless of the day I’ve had,
No matter how angry or hurt
Or how sick or tired
I may be before you call,
Even if we talk about nothing,
For a few precious moments,
The weight of the world
Is lifted away
And you bring out the best in me.
But my emotions are out of control.
I lose my ability to think,
My tongue gets tied into knots,
My heart beats like a drum corps,
I am deprived of capability.
The words I long to say are trapped,
Confused and entwined inside me,
I get all flustered and can’t speak.
My breathing becomes erratic,
My pulse starts racing,
I get goosebumps,
I tremble all over,
I get warm outside
And feverish inside.
I ache from head to toe
Yet I experience no pain.
If I stand, my feet do not
Touch the ground beneath them.
Sometimes I get all lightheaded
And my muscles lose their tone.
I try to perform a simple feat
But my bones have turned to mush.
Yet somehow I feel like an Amazon,
Strong, fierce, determined to win,
Out of my shell, braver than I really am.
I can feel you all over like
A second skin
Rushing through my veins
Like my life’s blood.
My heart grasps healing,
My soul drinks in strength
As your spirit embraces mine.
Can I overdose on emotion?
I have trouble typing
And forget how to spell.
Everything is suddenly new to me.
My eyes mist over with tears,
Mostly with joy,
But sometimes with sorrow
That you’re hurting
Or just for the miles between us.
I think I could explode
From the way you love me,
And each time I foolishly think
There is no possible way that
I could love you or want you more
Or feel more need or desire for you, I do,
And I’m reborn once again,
Begging the powers that be
To let me die in your arms
When this life is through with me…

- L.C., 2001