by Nominis Expers

      Here's a little joke that's been making the rounds on the 'net. It showed up in an e-mail, and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to do an analysis of the kind of sloppy thinking of which we can become victims when we haven't made a point of exercising our powers of reasoning.

We'll ignore the cartoonish folklore masquerading as theology (it is a joke, after all!) and concentrate instead on the errors in logic that appear throughout in the form of a specific fallacy and result in an invalid inference in the "moral" at the end. We'll also take a look at the over-arching principle this flawed deductive argument seeks to justify. This seemingly harmless little parable is pure poison to rational thought, start to finish.

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.  The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you.  We have  heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been giving an entrance quiz for  everyone. The tests are short, but you need to pass before you can get  into Heaven."

Forrest responds "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter. I was looking forward  to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test  ain't too hard; Life was a big enough test as it was.

St. Peter goes on, "I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: What days of the week begin with the letter T? How many seconds are there in a year? What is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over.  He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers".

Forrest says, "Well, the first one how many days of the week begin with the letter "T?" "Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow." 

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims "Forrest!  That's not what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I will give you credit for that answer." "How about the next one?" "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder" says Forrest, "but I thought and thought about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with  twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Aw, come on, St Peter, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second. . . "

"Hold it" interrupts St. Peter.  "I see where you're going with it. I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one  too.  Let's go on with the next and final question.  Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest replied "Andy."  When St. Peter asked how he came up with the name Andy, Forrest replied. "You know, St. Peter, that song we sing in church: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me."

The lesson: THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW and just because another person doesn't see things the same way or understand the same way that you do, does not mean that it's wrong.

The fallacious argument here perpetrated is that of Equivocation ~ In committing this fallacy, a term is used with two different meanings. EXAMPLES: (I) "The sign said "Fine For Parking Here", and since it was fine, I parked there." (II) A plane is a carpenters tool and a Boeing 747 is a plane, so a Boeing 747 is a carpenters tool"

Look back over our little allegory and identify the terms used or inferred twice and think about why the definiion for the first use of the term would not be appropriate for the second use.

You know, life is like a box of chocolates. If you just reach in blindly for ideas without closely examining the ramifications, chances are you'll end up with one that's just nuts.

~ Nominis

     If, at this point, you don't see what the big deal is as regards the underlying principle, click here to check out the short essay on Pluralism and Relativism.