Time In A Hospital Waiting Room
Cold, sterile walls, forced smiles,
nondescript pictures against a colorless background.
Uninspiring and dull, in this place of great importance.
More than a seascape, more than mountain vistas
this place contains views of life, hope, well-being...but also, just beneath the surface and caught in brief nervous glances, lies fear, pain and the hollow sadness of parting.
I sit here, forcing a smile directed to those who also wait, I can't help but reflect on the myriad of thoughts which lie just beneath the surface.
Why are my thoughts drawn to the morbid side? I chide myself for walking the tightrope so close to the chasm of fear which threatens to draw me to the edge of nothingness.
Glancing hopefully toward the door, I seek something in the eyes of those who pass, I derive nothing from averted gazes.
Time passes, cold sterile air is forced into this closed environment, chilling me to the core. I rub my arms in a vain attempt to draw warmth. The drone of the mechanics of this place does nothing to soothe my frazzled nerves.
Time passes......
I lean my head back and close my eyes, nearer I step to the chasm as ever so slowly panic begins to rise.
Fear of fears, the thoughts push into my brain as I attempt to block their entry, allowing me to back away from the stepping off point.
Time passes.....
Garbled codes and rushing feet snap me back momentarily from the place I prefer not to go. Slowly, I step back, pausing and picking my way carefully, so as not to stumble.
I question why my mind insists on venturing down its' own path, ignoring the pleas from my heart. I experience the daylight terrors of conscious dreams.
Time drags on....
Voices drone, the air hums with activity. Envy passes through my thoughts briefly for those to whom comfort has finally come. Through their comfort, I too try to drink from that well, but find the water unpalatable.
Damned time, enemy of my being, constrictor of my heart, time still passes!
Across the room a man taps his foot, nervously marking the minutes. I want to yell. order him to stop as I too am aware of the passing of time. Time no longer can be a trusted friend, it eats away at the deepest place within me, coldness courses through my veins and chills me to the very core.
As I sit here, bidding time to either move ahead quickly or to take me back to the time before I entered this place.
Time passes, waiting becomes unbearable. I want to leap from myself and pass through the door you last went through.
At last! A warm smile with sympathetic eyes summons me. A gentle voice tells me the good news. All is well, nothing to fear!
Open the windows, let the sun banish all the darkness.
Time, Oh time! Time has indeed passed. Tears of joy involuntarily spring to my grateful eyes. All is well, time has passed, now I can breath!
The original poetry on these pages may not be copied, reproduced, distributed or used in any way without the express written permission of the author. ©2010-2015 Laura
