The door to the bronze flies open, bangs against the wall, bounces off, and slams shut again.
Muttered expletives can be heard coming from the alleyway.
Then, once again, the bronze door flies open--this time nonchalantly held by a well-placed hand wearing several silver rings.
Standing in the doorway is a vision-exactly what kind of vision isn't quite certain. it could be the vision of a fever-dream, of a starvation-induced hallucination, of a really, really bad trip.
For standing in the doorway is -mere-, in an almost-sheer, floor-length, black-as-midnight dress, with empire waist and heavy decolletage. she has her game face on: blue eyes narrowed and glinting like steel, icy grin showing razor-sharp teeth, cheekbones sharp and jutted [highlights by Clinique], and hair flowing long and wild, streaked and straight to her waist.
-mere-, the jar containing RD tucked securely beneath her arm, surveys the patrons of the bronze, her tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth as she silently chants the names of her targets in her head:
greengirlSasheergreengirlSasheergreengirlSasheergreengirlSasheer.
Gliding into the bronze on four-inch heels [this is business, not pleasure], -mere- gently bobbles the jar between her hands, listening to the dust inside shift left and then right, left and then right. arriving at her reserved bar stool, -mere- sets the jar down onto the heavy oaken surface of the bar, and sits down. peering into the transparent urn, she is momentarily reminded of the last time RD bit the big one.
The funeral. the eulogy. the coffin. the leather hotpants.
"Never again," -mere- vows, moving in close to the jar, the tip of her nose nearly touching the glass. "no one will ever bury my RD again." stifling a small, maniacal giggle, she then draws in a deep breath and passes her tongue slowly over the smooth glass surface, tasting death and dust and the slightest tang of lye.
"We ain't licked, yet, love," she giggles again.
Mummy's tired and sleeping well,
while all the children play in hell,
devil daddy's babysitting
demon children do his bidding.
So let's all play that spooky game,
you know the rules, you know the name,
no screaming for the souls we take,
'cause mummy's worse when she's awake...
-mere- finishes her lullaby to RD in a low murmur, dragging her long, black nails over the glass, and sighing.
"No more singing, pet," she coos, admonishing, her eyes flicking up to search the bronze.
"Now it's time for mummy to play."
Her eyes sweeping the bronze, -mere- finds deadguy balled up in a corner, and snapping her fingers, he bounces over, leaving various and sundry pieces of flesh in his wake. -mere- winces. that's gonna SUCK to clean up, she thinks.
"Hello, deadguy," she says as the corpse comes to rest at her feet.
"hi, -mere-," he replies. "i heard about RD. dead again. which, aside from being a pretty good movie with kenneth branagh, is rather upsetting. i heard about it and i got all--"
Deadguy pauses, wiping his eyes off his face. [ eww. i can't believe i just wrote that. -ed.]
"Sorry," deadguy continues. "just had to regain my decomposure."
-mere- pats him--verrrrry delicately--on the shoulder. "that's all right," she consoles. "losing RD was hard on all of us. the first time."
-mere- draws her hand back and cracks her knuckles. "the second time, it's just going to be hard on greengirl and Sasheer."
"What did you need me for?" deadguy asks, eyeing -mere-'s knuckles, slightly apprehensive.
"Oh, i just need you to do me a little favor," -mere- coaxes. "one that you might enjoy, in fact."
Deadguy's eyes open wide. "really?"
-mere- lifts her eyebrows, smiles cruelly, and nods. "oh, yes, " she answers. "really."
Deadguy tentatively begins to return the smile, but one of his lips falls off.
-mere- pretends not to notice.
Greengirl enters the bronze, happy and chipper..she surveys the room quickly and moves over to the juke-box...hmmm...what song should i play? she thinks to herself as she selects "Blind for Now" by Lotion...
Apt choice since she completely missed revenge-mode-mere at the bar licking the glass jar (ick factor much?)
As -mere- turns toward gg's back the girl gets a sudden chill...
"Woah...what happened there?" the oblivious girl mutters as she continues singing
She turns and notices circe and unearthly..."Who won?" she asks in response to their questions..."Who won? well, i can't say that there was a definate winner, but i can say that the evenings big loser was RD..." gg snickers
-mere- just glares
gg shudders again..."Is it cold in here or is it just me?"
Belmont awakes from his medicine induced slumber to see -mere- (acting and looking a lot like Dru, but then again, she dresses like that normally) hugging a jar and the EVIL greengirl over by the jukebox.
Belmont heads to the other side of the bar and picks up his crossbow. He thinks...
I think it's time that Cupid spread some love in this room.
But he first sits back to see what transpires between -mere- and deadguy. Hope there's gonna be a lot of fireworks...
Zophiel finds himself watching -mere- with the same kind of disgust/fascination with which one watches an automobile accident. As he notes the exchange with deadguy, he makes a mental note to jump to the other side of the bar as soon as anything bizarre happens. Maybe sooner.
After whispering to deadguy for a few minutes, -mere- sends him along on his task. just as he exits the bronze, -mere- spies her archnemesis, the murderer of her lustpuppy, the evil chartreuse UberBitca herself, greengirl, bop on in and over to the jukebox.
"Blind for Now" begins to echo throughout the bronze, and greengirl begins chatting animatedly with Circe and Unearthly, completely unaware that she has only hours to live.
-mere- is nearly drooling at the sight of so much raw naivete.
Moving silently across the bronze and up behind greengirl, she leans in close and eyes the expanse of skin between greengirl's shoulder and the underside of her chin. so clear, so pure, so smooth. it's going to be a shame to damage such lovely flesh.
and yet, damaged it will be.
Leaning in so close that her nose nearly brushes the girl's ear, -mere- hisses, "nice to see you, greenie."
Greengirl gasps and whirls around to face -mere-. "whoa!" she half-laughs, out of breath. "you scared the sh--"
"Shhhhh," cautions -mere-. "don't ruin my fun by talking. it's much more fun if you save the pleas for your life for later."
"Wha--?"
-mere- places a finger to greengirl's lips and shakes her head minutely. "ah ah ah--no singing. this is a morgue."
Greengirl's eyes open a little wider, and she utters a weak chuckle. "it's--it's-- this isn't a morgue, -mere-. it's the bronze."
"Oh, no," sighs -mere- lowly, happily. "that's where you're wrong."
With her finger still placed on gg's lips, -mere- whips her head around, eyes sparkling, as she hears Sasheer enter the room.
-mere- can barely contain her glee as greengirl's blonde accomplice begins to approach.
"Why, this," -mere- chokes back a raspy, grating laugh, grabbing greengirl around the throat, "this is almost like CHRISTMAS!"
"Ahhh..sure -mere, this is a morgue...i completely forgot..." the naive girl says calmly to the insane woman...
She turns toward Circe and Unearthly and ...out of sight of -mere- does the internation sign for crazy and grins...
They don't grin back...
Out of the corner of her eye gg notices -mere- licking her lips...
"Ummm..." gg starts, "is there something else i can help you with?"
-mere- just stands there...jar in her arms
Sasheer walks up behind -mere- and taps her on the shoulder..."Hey..it was your job to slay him you know?" she says, but -mere- merely comtinues to stare...
"Come on greengirl," Sasheer adds, "We better get out of here before this one goes completely medievel on our butts"
greengirl agrees...
As the two girls near the door circe yells out.."Run greengirl, RUN!!"
-mere- turns toward the woman..."That wasn't me..it was Ty King" circe mutters lamely before running to the bathroom
Sasheer runs like she's never run before.
"No worries greenie. I have Jeff to cover our back. He's just around this corn. . .aaaahhhh
Sasheer bolts for the door, yelling about Jeff Pruitt, but, as she rounds a corner...she stops...
Greengirl is distracted..having a crazy woman's hand around your neck can do that to you...
As her face turns red, gg mutters "do..you..think..you..could..let..go..now..please..?"
Sasheer stops as she notices a tall handsome dark man standing in front of her with a hook. Oh wait nope on second glance it's a pen.
"Oh god Ty you must help me find Jeff. -mere- she's gone. . .crazy. . .and greengirl. . ."
Ty raises an eyebrow can you do that Ty? not sure what to make of Sasheer's hysterical cries.
"Jeff?" he asks. Sasheer nods her head glancing behind her.
Grabbing Ty's shoulders and beginning to shake him she yells "Jeff PRUITT!! WHERE IS Jeff?????"
greengirl somehow manages to slip -mere-'s grasp, and she and Sasheer take off across the floor.
"WAIT!" yells -mere- at the two fleeing figures, and both girls freeze.
"Come here, pretties," -mere- coos at them. "i have something to show you."
"Oh, right," scoffs greengirl. "like there’s anything in the world that would make me go back over there."
From a hidden pocket in her dress, -mere- withdraws a picture of David Boreanaz in a black Speedo, holding a sign that says, "Marry Me, greengirl".
Dumbstruck, gg begins to walk towards -mere-, salivating.
"Are you nuts?" cries Sasheer, yanking on her evil accomplice’s arm. "remember? death? destruction? stake-age of the lustpuppy? hello?"
In a trance, though, greengirl crosses the room to -mere-, reaching for the picture, whimpering. as -mere- hands her the precious print, she leans forward and whispers into greengirl’s ear, "peel off the tape."
Puzzled, greengirl looks down at the photo, and notices a small piece of tape over the word "greengirl". as she peels off the tape, she realizes that it was the tape that said "greengirl". the real photo, in fact, shows David Boreanaz holding up a sign that says, "Marry Me, -mere-."
"NOOOOOO!!!!" greengirl tips her head back and howls, leaving that pretty neck all exposed.
-mere- snags her by the throat again and picks her up [ok, so let’s pretend for a moment that all the kickboxing lessons have made her superhumanly strong.], and, carrying the green one six inches off the floor, -mere- meets Sasheer in the middle of the bronze.
"Help," gargles gg, fighting to pry -mere-‘s hands from around her neck. "help. rrgggrgglrrr."
"Looking for Jeff Pruitt?" -mere- inquires of Sasheer. "you need that much backup, ya oklahoman WUSS?"
Darkwind opens the door to the Bronze. He's only been gone for a couple of hours, but it seems like everything has changed.
He sees -mere- and greengirl over by the jukebox. -mere- has her hand around greengirl's throat. Saheer is talking to Ty in the corner.
Weird.
Darkwind sits with his dingo Warrl at a booth in the back. Carefully avoiding one of deadguy's lips.
Sasheer wimpers as Ty ignores her. Watching as -mere- carries greengirl across the floor. Sasheer feels helpless.
"Oklahoman wuss huh???" Sasheer yells then goes back to her whimpering "yeah I need my Jeff!!! I fear you -mere-"
Greengirl tries to nod to sasheer.
"Yes...we..need.. Jeff.." she stutters as she tries to retain conciousness...
Her mind swims with thoughts...'did David really wanna marry -mere-? can Jeff pruitt really save us? are double stuff oreos really double?'
-mere- parades gg around the room...
'How did i get myself into this mess?' gg thinks as she tries to remember...
As greengirl dangles helplessly from -mere-'s hand. Darkwind notices that the urn containing what was left of RD is unguarded. He runs over and grabs the urn.
"Hey -mere-!! Over here, I have your lustpuppy!!" he yells.
-mere- turns and glares at him.
"What have I done?" Darkwind thinks to himself.
Circe, cowering behind Ccool, keeps muttering, I told you to run, greengirl, I told you, I told you, I told you! Oh, why do you have to have crushies on David? Look how it ends!
Belmont, who is alive and well thanks to the kindness of DarkLady, jumps over to where Darkwind is taunting -mere- with the RD ashes. To save Darkwind from his impending danger, belmont raises his crossbow at -mere-. belmont strips the jar from his hands and places it back on the table.
Looks like there's going to be a rumble at the Bronze because Jeff Pruitt just entered. One thought goes through belmont's head...
Oh boy.
"Darkwind," -mere- glances over. "you know better than that. i suggest you hand the jar over to Rakshasa now, or i'll have him eat you AND your entire family. and DON'T think i'm bluffing."
-mere- looks back at greengirl, who is turning all shades of purple [ooh. purty colors.]. giving her a good shake--wow! eyeballs can really vibrate!-- -mere- tosses greengirl to the floor and turns to Sasheer.
"All right, you sooner hussy. put your hands up and back away from the VIPs...slowly."
Sasheer, her lips trembling, leaves off pawing at Jeff Pruitt's two posts, and just stands there.
"Now, after a short break," -mere- intones, "say, oh, maybe about an hour or so, like, for example, the time it takes for one to, oh, i don't know, eat lunch or something--i'll be back. and this storyline will continue, come hell or high water."
Sweeping her skirt up with her hands, -mere- trots across the room and exits the bronze.
Greengirl moans from the floor. "great," she rasps. "she gets to have lunch, and i need a tracheotomy."
Sasheer sees Jeff walk in all sure of himself and she immediately runs to him nearly knocking him down.
"You don't understand. . .she's trying to kill us. You must help me Jeff."
Jeff reassuresSasheer that -mere- is not to be feared but the tears begin to fall from Sash's eyes.
Pointing at -mere- and greengirl "She won't let greengirl go. Please Jeff you are my only hope."
Zophiel produces a quarter and punches up "Somebody's gonna get their heads kicked in tonight" on the jukebox for -mere-.
Zophiel dodges gg's body as it is paraded around the bronze. And to think, last week she was a blushing bride... check that. She was a bride, *I* was blushing.
As Darkwind realizes his life is in danger, belmont arrives and staves off -mere- with his crossbow.
"Thanks belmont!"
No longer thinking foolishly, and with the arrival of Jeff, Darkwind pulls out his ornate dagger and prepares for the battle:
"Dagger dagger glinting bright, serve me well all through the fight."
The dagger begins to glow as Darkwind activates the spell placed on it.
In the corner Warrl begins to growl.
Darkwind feels a slight tap on his shoulder and whirls around to find Rakshasa now standing directly behind him.
"I would advise against pursuing this present course of action any further," Rakshasa admonishes Darkwind as he wags his finger at him in a punitive sort of way.
Rakshasa calmly takes possession of the Jar-O-RD and quietly takes a seat at a table in the corner of the Bronze, steadily eyeing the likes of Darkwind and belmont through heavily browed, steel-grey eyes, prepared to leap into action should anyone decide to interfere any further with his blood sister's quest for vengeance.
Darkwind watches -mere- leave in a swirl of black cloth. The dagger he holds stops shining.
"Damn!" he says, "I have to go too."
Darkwind collects Warrl and they both exit the Bronze.
"Don't worry Circe, -mere- should know that I'm half Czech and all crazy!!!"
And with that, he's gone.
Samiel emerges from the shadows of the Bronze...
Sasheer: I thought I killed you!
Samiel: Oh yeah! That's right!
Samiel topples over... laying motionless on the ground...
Sasheer: Talk about slow!
Circe moves cautiously to the fallen heap that is greengirl. Are you all right - hey if we needed -mere-'s fingerprints for anything, there's a nice set on your neck. I would have helped out, but just as I was about to jump in, Jeff showed up. Uh-huh, that was all that was stopping me. That, and -mere-'s clawlike grasp [clawlike in a good way].
Rakshasa returns to his corner table, where OY, the 4 @$$ed dingo sits, protectively crouching over RD's jar, drooling at the various Bronze patrons, trying to figure which hand he'll get to chew off should anybody try to touch the jar. Rakshasa pulls the jar back in front of him on the table, rests a confident hand on its lid, inserts the needle from his freshly served Cafe Mocha I.V. into his arm and assumes a more relaxed stance as he awaits the return of his blood sister, -mere-. "Good boy, OY."
"Grrrrroovy..." Oy snarls lowly.
Greengirl picks herself up off the floor and stares at the door...
"Hey Sasheer!" gg calls out in a raspy-smoking-grandma voice.."How'd you get Jeff here?"
Sasheer just grins..."I have my wiley ways..."
"Darkwind," gg adds, "That my friend was NOT a smart thing to do..."
gg eyes Rakshasa and the RD jar and then turns back to Sasheer..."looks like i better go home and find that secret weapon of mine...you hang out here and guard this place"
"You know what?" sasheer chuckles..."With your voice like that...you could make a lot of money as a phone sex operator."
gg glares..."You're not funny..." she says as she walks to the door..she notices the picture of David in the speedo onthe floor and stops to pick it up...
Turning it over in her hands, gg reads the note on the back
"Madame VP, if you need any more phots doctored, remember to bring them to your helpful Bronze Photomat"
"Doctored huh?" greengirl whispers..."we'll see about getting some photos doctored alright.."
greengirl smiles to herself and leaves..for now.
-mere- sweeps back into the bronze, licking her fingers. "mmm," she says contentedly. "toddler on rye."
Seeing Sasheer has been abandoned in the middle of the floor--because greengirl has taken off for parts unknown, the truce-breaker-- -mere- claps her hands.
"Oh goody!" she cries. "someone left me a present!"
Crossing over to a trembling Sasheer, -mere- notices Jeff in the wings, rambling on about something called "Buffy". the nerve of him, to be on-topic, in the middle of a perfectly good psychotic ramble thinks -mere-, annoyed. i'll just have to deal with him later.
Approaching Sasheer slowly, -mere- smiles and reaches out to pet the girl's golden locks. "hello, pretty," she croons. "it's so good to see you. actually, it's so good to see you so helpless and alone. but tell me, pretty--i have a question."
"Qu-- qu-- question?" stutters Sasheer.
"Y-- y-- yes,"-mere- giggles. "a question. just tell me the answer, because i'd realy love to know."
As -mere- wraps her hand in Sasheer's hair and pulls her close, she snarls, "what will your mummy sing when they find your body?"
TV James strolls into the Bronze, notices the odd arrangement of people in the Bronze, looks around puzzled. He spots Jeff and walks over to him. Standing behind and to the side he mutters
"What's going on?"
"-mere-'s trying to kill greengirl," he hisses back.
"Mere's trying to kill greengirl?" TV James asks.
"NO. -Mere-'s trying to kill greengirl."
"Oh. I misunderstood." TV James brings a large gun from underneath his trenchcoat. Standing sideways to -mere-, he brings it up with one hand and pulls the trigger. There's a "thwack" and -mere- goes down. The gun is concealed again before anyone notices what happened... except Jeff.
"What did you do?!?!!? You bastard! You killed -mere-."
"I did not. I hit her with a tranq dart. She'll regain conciousness in a few minutes."
Bronze bouncers come in and grab -mere- and tie her to a chair.
J goes over to Sasheer to see if she's ok.
"The Ressurrection Of RD"
"The Ressurrection of RD" Part 2