MW Current Events,Page 15
Mr. Wonderful Explains Current Events
Mr.Wonderful
Contents:
7/28/00: 1-800 Exposé
7/27/00: Cell Phone GPS for 911
7/25/00: Air France Concorde Crash
7/20/00: MW Caught in Police Crossfire
7/18/00: Survivor Winner Foretold?
7/17/00: Phoenix Water Watch Waste
7/09/00: Advertising Reminder
7/04/00: Oprah's Wall of Security
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Contents:
6/29/00: Arizona Republic Sold
6/28/00: QuePasa.com Bites Burrito
6/24/00: Government and Airports
6/20/00: Herbalife Founder Loses Life
6/17/00: Coast to Coast AM False
6/16/00: Advertising's Dirty Secret
6/08/00: 'Natural' Herbs Sicken
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July 28th, 2000: Dial 1-800 and Expose Your Unlisted Number !
I'm sorry, I thought everyone knew this little tidbit of deviousness, so here it is again.  When you dial any toll-free number, even if it is from your blocked and unlisted phone line, your blocked and unlisted phone number will appear on the next telecom statement that toll-free number receives. And there is nothing stopping them from using that number and selling it to your favorite telemarketer ... or creditor. Pretty neat trick, eh?
July 27th, 2000: Big Brother, Riding on Your Hip
According to the August 2000, issue of PC Magazine, the FCC has mandated that by next year any 911 call be tracked within a range of 135 yards. Consider the following: Are you aware that every single woman who has claimed to have sexual relations with our President Clinton has been hauled in for an IRS audit? Are you aware that virtually every single conservative organization that has voiced opposition to this administration has also faced a very expensive IRS audit? And are you aware that during the few days that the Presidential Secretary, Betty Curry, was on the stand during impeachment hearings, her brother was killed in a freak automobile accident? And finally, are you aware that if your cell phone is powered 'on,' and even though you are not using it, that it is constantly sending out signals to the nearest cellular antennae? How comforting is it that on October 1, 2001 a federal agency, armed with billions of dollars of super-computers, will know your whereabouts (or at least that of your cell phone) within four hundred and five feet?
July 25th, 2000: Air France Concorde Crashes !
Earlier today, an airplane design that had never had one single occurrence of crashing, crashed outside Paris, France. Early speculation is that the left engine on the supersonic bird sucked in an actual bird which damaged the turbines whose blades, turning at 60,000 rpm, then wreaked havoc with the airplane. Being that the Concorde, because of it's 1970s design and shape takes off using afterburners, things happen very quickly. With the left engine not producing thrust the right engine flipped the plane over to its left, crashing into a hotel. 100 passengers dead, nine flight crew and no report of the hotel fatalities.
July 20th, 2000: Mr.& Mrs. MW Caught in Phoenix Police Crossfire!
 As Mr.& Mrs. Wonderful were on their way to the Arizona Diamondback's game Wednesday night, we heard police sirens. Being an unusual Phoenix driver, Mrs.Wonderful, on seeing the red traffic signal, had stopped our vehicle at the corner of 16th Street and Washington. The next thing we saw were three Phoenix Police cars boxing in a small, older, maroon Toyota. Out of each police car a pair of officers leapt with their Glocks at the ready. What you cannot see in this photo, since the 'perp' was to our left, is the two police officer's whose weapons were aimed directly at our vehicle! Mr. Wonderful would have stayed to snap more photos with my $19.95 camera, but the Mrs. insisted on speeding off at the first hint of of the verde.
July 18th, 2000: CBS Survivor Web Page Reveals Millionaire !
 Using techniques that even a neophyte web page designer, like your own Mr.Wonderful, an enterprising individual has, by revealing the 'source' code of the CBS Survivor web page, deduced the likely final survivor. Mr.Wonderful has no intention of ever seeing this so called 'reality-based' program, because he is a true survivor. In an actual reality based situation, coffins would be filling up, not coffers. You can view a description of how the final survivor was discovered by visiting the "survivorsucks.com" web site. The page will instruct you to highlight, using your mouse (invisible text) on a blank page. When you highlight the blank page, the text will appear. Neat idea!
July 17th, 2000: Water Watch Inflates Egos !
The Valley's TV and Radio news stations are on their annual 'Watch Your Child Around Water' campaign. What a crock! So far we've had "51 instances and 9 deaths" during this season's water watch. I'll wager that ten times more children die in Arizona from auto accidents. These auto deaths could easily be prevented by simply slipping into the federally mandated, ubiquitous seat-belt shoulder harness installed in every car, truck and SUV.  But yet these children's own parents don't insist on all passengers wearing seat belts all the time. Even though there are 'seat belt' laws. (Imagine that, laws that aren't obeyed and are virtually unenforceable due to the heavy tint the windows of most Arizona vehicles wear.) Just the other day, on north 56th Street, an accident occurred in which a van coughed up all three children from its interior spitting the bouncing babes onto the bubbling Arizona asphalt. Unfortunately, often these parents are the same dolts who believe that a red traffic signal offers up a multiple choice response: A)Proceed at present speed and direction B)Stop only if not in a hurry C)Floor it D)Stop every time. What's the hub-bub blub? I imagine it fills in the FCC mandated PSA minutes that broadcaster's must annually accumulate and the seasonal 'Water Watch' also allows Phoenix's news-readers to mouth something compassionate and caring during virtually every broadcast.
July 9th, 2000: An Advertising Reminder.
I've written before about television commercials. And how all these
"actual-customer" characters you witness are in reality paid actors spewing precisely written script as if it was their most personal experience. This fact hit home with your Mr.Wonderful the other day as I watched a real estate ad where the "hard working agent" was actually one of my professors from college!
July 4th, 2000: Oprah From A Distance
The other day, while I was watching the television I witnessed a segment about the anti-gun Oprah visiting her fans. Well, she was on one side of a cast iron eight foot fence with her sycophants on the other side. Her teary eyed fans were allowed to reach through the barrier, past the watchful eyes of her three security guards in the hopes that they might touch the sobbing star. Oprah doesn't personally need a handgun to protect her, she has millions to spend on security arrangements. And besides, her bodyguards are probably carrying heat anyway. But since you cannot afford mere hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on your own personal security, you should not have the option to simply and legally arm yourself because you aren't wealthy enough, responsible enough or important enough.
June 29, 2000: Eugene Pulliam Heirs Cash-In & Sell Arizona Republic
The Arizona Republic, actually Central Newspapers Inc., was sold today to Gannett Corporation. Apparently the high society heirs of the incredibly hard working and moral founder, Eugene C. Pulliam, just couldn't resist the scent of billions of dollars wafting from the coffers of the massive entertainment (NBC) and publishing giant (USA Today.) Brace yourself for massive firings and layoffs, usually concealed under the term 'consolidation.' Also, look for the recently revised Arizona Republic's layout to change once again and to more closely resemble that summer favorite, 'The Weekly Reader,' than an adult's newspaper.
June 28, 2000: QuePasa.Com Bites the Burn-Thru Burrito !
Inside of its first year of operation, the highly touted Que Pasa-Dotcom has burned through $35 million of investor capital and is now considering sale of the enterprise. Mr.Wonderful has strongly been opposed to the concept of an Internet Portal targeted towards Hispanics living in these United States. This enterprise was clearly tuned-in, and prepared to cash-in, on the massive Hispanic illegal-alien population temporarily located in our southwestern states. However, as is typical, their slick promotions to generate millions of dollars of start-up monies quickly gave way to the realities of the marketplace. I want to swear at you people, how could you be so ignorant and greedy!? To attempt to obtain wealth by targeting Spanish speaking illegal aliens is an insult to all Americans. But to try to pry American Citizens, who happen to be of Spanish ancestry, from the status of virtual 100% integration we Americans now enjoy, verges on treason. (And think about it, how many computers did you imagine illegal aliens, of whom many cannot read or write in their native language, would purchase and and then cue up Quepasa?) Prior to this current liberal-driven, decades long march of PC inspired separatism and racism (yes racism) "Integration," not separation was the heart-felt desire of the majority of all Americans.
June 24, 2000: That's the Way the Government Likes It !
 Since Mr.Wonderful's private jet is on loan to a friend in Fiji (will I ever see it again?) I am faced with dropping the world wandering Mrs.Wonderful off at the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. I am continually struck at how this modern airport is always under construction and covered in a cloud of confusion. Where the departure or arrival ramp I need is rerouted or closed or cleverly camouflaged. This airport has police patrolling the departure/arrival lanes, shooing away any laggers and dispensing tickets faster than any Harkin's box office. Sky Harbor International asks potential passengers to arrive two hours early, charges them $2 an hour park and then carefully guards the walkways to the airplanes with $6 an hour dolts. Do you have trouble envisioning a 'National Health Care' system 100% controlled by our government? You live a slight sample every time you visit most any airport. If it were not for the monopoly government holds on commercial air travel, you and I would not allow ourselves, our families or our associates to be rudely rushed and herded like Auschwitz prisoners crowded onto boxcars headed for our final destination. Why is commercial airline travel like that? Because that's the way the government likes it.
June 20, 2000: Herbalife Founder Mixes ETOH & Doxepin & is Nixed !
44-year old Herbalife founder and FDA fighter, Mark Hughes, exited his $25 million mansion for the last time on May 21st, 2000. The coroner discovered Mr. Hughes blood alcohol levels at near Navajo Indian status of .21 percent. Also the prescription drug Doxepin, an anti-depressant, was found paddling in his plasma. The combination of the two caused his death. And my point is? That here a man made a multi-millionaire by the promotion of 'health' via the ingestion of natural herbs that he claimed generated natural remedies turned to traditional pharmacy when he needed a cure. Don't you see? To make their millions these bastards push herbs and natural remedies down your ignorant throats. But yet to cure themselves they go to Osco, just like everyone else.Read his autopsy report
here.
June 17, 2000: Coast to Coast AM 'Facts' are usually Farce !
The radio program Coast to Coast AM has taken over Art Bell's late night spot. Tonight Mike Siegel spoke with guest Elizabeth Baron, described as a 'trance medium who works closely with local and national law enforcement agencies.' As she speaks and sites many instances of working with local police agencies, the FBI and even the U.S. Secret Service she lends credibility to her stories. However, everyone knows that both the FBI and the Secret Service are not going to respond to any queries about Ms. Baron's 'work.' And, if you were to take the time to check with the 'local law enforcement agencies' Elizabeth refers to, you would find her stories are crap. Sorry, it's crap!
June 16, 2000: Advertising's Two Dirty Little Secrets.
"I Guarantee it!" Are you tired of tuning in your radio and hearing the phone calls to George Zimmer's answering machine, President of The Men's Wearhouse? (Where the hell is that phone number anyway?) Well, those calls are actor's reading scripts. But, you probably figured that out right? What you don't know is that if the actor, any actor, is not a well known celebrity he or she can verbalize whatever the script instructs. The advertiser can essentially present 100% total lies with little fear of being admonished. Do they typically advertise at the "100% Lie Level?" No, but you need to know that much advertising, especially those involved with health, tell tall tales far from the actual truth. Secret number two is, that if you are familiar with the specific product or service being advertised, you instantly realize that the features or promises made for that product or service are the features or promises that you are most UN-likely to receive.
June 8th, 2000: Natural Herbs Dangerous Says Doctor !
Wednesday while Mr.Wonderful was visiting with his physician the subject of herbal and natural remedies came up. My D.O. told me that he personally had to send a patient to the hospital because the supposedly healthful green tea she had been guzzling was destroying her liver.
 He also informed me that, occasionally, he has seen patients writhing in pain because of a specific herbal and natural weight-loss product they had recently begun injesting. These highly advertised brands, one of whom whose founder recently died at the premature age of 44, both ended with the word "Life." Dear readers! There are evil people out there who will advertise any cure, any claim, any 'proof,' in an attempt to separate you from your dollars. Just because you don't see these incidents on the local and national television news doesn't mean they aren't happening thousands of times each week. Purchase only reputable and proven brand names who use ingredients carefully inspected and blended inside the United States and that meet the standards set by the U.S.Pharmacopoeia and display the USP symbol.
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