"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of -99: do not give a fuck about anything... If I could offer you only one tip for the future, that would be it. The long term benefits of apathy have been proved by nihilists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis, more reliable, other than my own experience. I will dispence this advice, now...Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, but understand that this power and beauty of youth will soon turn you into an old, ugly, fuck. But trust me, in 20 years when you look back at photos of yourself, and recall in a way you cannot grasp now, how little possibility lay before you and how stupid you really were. You are twice as fat as you imagine. Do not worry about the future, or know that worry is as ineffective as trying to solve and algebra equation by chewing bubble-gum. The real trouble in your life, are subjective little things merely made up by your mind, that blindsights you twenty-four hours a day including tuesday. Do one thing, every day, that scears the shit out of someone, for example: sing. Don't be recless with other monkeys, and do not put up with monkeys who are recless with you. Do not waste your time on jealusy, sometimes you're behind and sometimes you're even further behind. The race is short, and in the end, we'll be looking at another dead guy. Remember insults you recieve, forget the compliments. If you succeed in doing this, shut the fuck up about it. Keep your old bankstatements, throw away your old love-letters. Stretch. Don't feel stupid if you know what you want to do with your life, the most stupid people I know didn't know when they were 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most stupid 40 your olds I know still don't. Get plenty of counceling, take advantage of your parents, you won't miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at forty, maybe you'll dance the funny chicken all your life knowing that marriage is bullshit. Whatever you do, never congratulate yourself, or berate yourself either. Your choices are no-chance, and so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, abuse it every way you can, do not be afraid of this or what other monkeys think of it, it's the greatest drug you'll ever own. Do not dance, not even in your living-room, and especially if you do not know how. Do not read beauty magazines, it's a waste of fucking money... Get to know your parents, all though they'll soon be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings, even though they're your worst link to the past and the people most likely to take advantage of you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, whereas there is nothing to hold on to. The older you get, the more of the people you knew when you were young, will be dead. Live in New York city, live in northern California, live where ever the fuck you want, it does not make a licking difference. Travel, there are a lot of stupid monkeys to laugh at in other contries as well. Accept certain truths, prices will rise, people are stupid, you will die and children do not respect their elders. Neither do you. Don't expect anyone else to support you, maybe you believe in God, maybe you believe in Lenin, it's all for the birds in either case. Because you never know, when either illusion might become clear to you. Don't mess at all with your hair, or by the time you're 85 it will look 40. Be careful who's advice you buy, and make sure you do not pay for it. But be patient as long as it serves your interests. Advice is a form of bullshit, expensing it is a way of making oneself look important and omniscient.
But trust me on the apathy."
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