Cartoons

Rating: PG-13 (*A* bad word)

Written: April '99

Category: Humor, romance, um . . . did I say humor? It gets funnier as it goes along.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jesse, James, or any other character in this story, yadda yadda yadda . . .

Summary: Brock turns evil and kidnaps a girl we all know and love, while James gets to play hero for once.

Author's note: My very first Team Rocket fanfic! Well, it's been considerably revised, but the jokes are intact. Kind of.

Feedback: All the cool kids are doin' it! Allicatt3@aol.com.

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Cartoons

by Rocket Jesse

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Chapter 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Goodnight, James," Jesse called down to her partner in the bunk bed below. She clicked her itty-bitty book-light on and set it over her diary.

"Sweet dreams, Jesse." James dug his ratty old notebook and drawing pencil out just like he did every night. Putting his flashlight between his teeth, he opened his sketch book to a blank sheet.

She pulled her favorite fountain pen from behind her ear and flipped her diary to the most recent page to write.

"Dear Diary,

Right now, I'm laying in a pretty rotten trainer inn in the middle of nowhere in a bed right over James. Just the same as every other night, but I'm the only one who doesn't complain. He just told me 'sweet dreams.' How sweet! Of course, I deserve to be treated sweetly. It's not like I *like* him or anything . . . But maybe he likes me! Wait a second -- he has to like me. Everybody loves me!

'night,

Jesse

Meanwhile, about four feet below, James was pouring his heart into a darn fine drawing. While he'd been scribbling away, his mouth had receded into a tiny line with his curled tongue peeking out of the side.

The picture was very lifelike (for cartoons). In it, Jesse and himself stood on a cliff together watching the sun set over their kingdom. They had finally been victorious.

Once he was finished with his work of art, he wrote on the bottom: "Dedicated to my best friend: Jesse." Looking it over one last time (probably so he'd have dreams about it), James sighed and slipped the notebook and pencil under his pillow with the rest of his private things. Frustrated that it didn't turn off, he smacked it. It flickered out, but would probably never produce light again.

His head dropped onto his pillow at precisely the same moment Jesse's did.

She had stashed her light, diary and pen under her pillow a few seconds before. Both now laid with their eyes wide open, staring out the window at the rain.

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An hour and a half later, they had each tossed and turned enough to know neither was able to sleep.

"Jesse? I can't sleep!" he whined.

She loudly exhaled after hearing his childish demeanor. They had to be up at the butt-crack of dawn the next morning; his behavior simply would not do. "Shut up, James!"

"But Jesse! I--"

"James!" She cut him off and swung her head over the edge of her bed to see him. "Do I have to come down there and *show* you how to get to sleep?"

Pure terror emanated from his enormous eyes. He violently shook his head.

"Good," she simply said, and laid back down in her bed.

She appreciated the silence immensely. It was peaceful just listening to the pitter-patter of the rain outside. She was *just* drifting off, when . . .

"Why do you always get the top bunk?"

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!" She leaned over the side a little *too* quickly, and promptly fell to the floor.

"Jesse!" He jumped out of his bed to crouch over her. He had to fight the urge to laugh. He knew that if he did, he'd die by her hand. "Are you alright?"

She didn't move.

"Jesse?!"

"Hey, can't a Pokemon catch a few Z's around here?" Meowth always picked the worst times to speak.

"Shut *up*, Meowth!!" James yelled, with all of the ferocity he could muster. It did the trick!

"Huh . . . wha . . ."

"Jesse!" He went from enraged to ecstatic when she spoke.

". . . James?"

"Yes?"

"My leg hurts."

"Anything I can do?"

"Let me have the bottom bunk?"

"You mean *I* get the top?!" he yelled a little too anxiously.

"The railing up there is broken, you moron! The only two beds left are yours and Meowth's. You get the floor."

Sadness marred his face for a moment, then a light bulb went on over his head. Jesse noticed that it was only a sixty watt bulb -- she'd have to have a little talk with their animators. They deserved at *least* seventy-five watts!

"Meowth . . . how would you like sleeping in Jesse's bed?" His voice dripped with villainous contempt. He sounded totally devious. After all, it was one of his strong points. He'd have to remember to put that on his résumé one of these days.

"Yeah, Meowth," Jesse added, "You get a full sized bed and you're only pint-sized."

With James towering over him, he had no choice but to comply. "Oh, alright." Meowth scrambled up to the top bunk.

"Okay, Jesse, you can go to bed now," James assumed.

"Um . . . no I can't."

"Yes, you can. Your bed is cat-free!"

"James -- I . . . can't . . . move."

"You've fallen and you can't get up?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, then, would you like a pillow and a blanket for your spot there on the floor?"

"PUT ME ON THE BED!!!"

Without hesitation, and no small amount of fear, James hoisted her into his arms. Her eyes closed as he carried her easily to Meowth's former bed.

Once he was standing next to the tangle of blankets with scattered gross little cat hairs, Jesse snuggled her head into his chest. He found it very hard to put her down. Then she snaked her arms around his neck.

At the risk of being decapitated, he whispered, "Jesse?"

"Hmm?" she asked dreamily. She was in that place between sleep and wake, not fully aware of anything she heard or said. Basically, she could start singing an opera and not have a clue.

"You have to let go of me, Jesse, so I can put you in bed."

"But you're so warm . . ."

He did the only thing he could do; sit on the bed with her cradled in his arms.

"Oh, Jesse . . ." He used the same tender tone he had been.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open. Wide open. "PUT ME DOWN!!"

He did as he was told right away. By the time he'd laid her there, she was dozing.

James quietly snuck back into his own bed in a way that only cartoons can.

He dreamt of Jesse, victory and soup all night.

Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesse awoke with a yawn the next morning, along with a curiously cartoonishly bandaged left leg. She stretched and sat up, seeing James and Meowth furiously slurping down breakfast.

Before she even remembered what happened to her leg, she knew it was James' fault.

The two were paying her no mind yet. They had stopped gulping and now were laughing at something she didn't catch. James wasn't laughing as hard as Meowth, but he *was* beet red.

Then the blasted cat saw Jesse staring at them, and just calmly said, "Uh oh."

"James?" she asked sweetly. "What's so funny?"

They both totally ignored Meowth, fortunately for his health. He took Jesse's diary off the table and raced back to put it where he'd found it.

"Um . . . well . . . he . . . ah . . . Good morning, Jesse!! How's your leg feeling?" His infamous million-dollar smile appeared on his face, focused entirely on pleasing her. "Would you like some breakfast in bed?"

She raised an eyebrow at his confusing behavior, but how could she turn down breakfast?

Five minutes later, she was somehow dressed and ready for the day (it must be because cartoons can do anything at the speed of light), eating her breakfast in bed. Like a lady.

It bothered her, how the breakfast was just 'breakfast.' It was some unidentifiable beige mush. Sure, it tasted good, but in order to get the good stuff, ya had to be on one of those really great shows. Maybe like The Simpsons or The Critic.

"Psst!" Meowth whispered. "Jesse! Come here!"

James had run off somewhere. If he wasn't a cartoon, he might've been in the bathroom.

"If you've got something to show me, then *you* come *here*," she irritably demanded.

"Okay, okay." He scurried over and plopped himself down next to her on the bed. "I've got some great stuff to show ya!" He sounded like he was selling something. Not unusual. "This, however, is *not* something you can tell James about. Promise?"

By now, she was cartoonishly eager. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Show me!"

The cat pulled a poorly-conditioned notebook from behind his back. "*This* is a sketch book. *James'* sketch book."

"And?!"

"You might wanna see some of these." He opened it to the page dated yesterday and gave the notebook to her.

She had to laugh along with Meowth. She didn't want to. She really didn't want to. But if she didn't, Meowth would think she *liked* James, and that simply would not do.

She had to admit, though, it was a pretty good picture. She really liked it because James had his arm around her. It was like they were King and Queen. Not a bad idea.

While her thoughts had strayed, she failed to notice the blush creeping into her cheeks. For cartoons, blushing is about as obvious as the fact that Jesse uses at least 10 cans of hairspray each day.

"Uh oh! James is coming!" she warned him.

"I'll show ya more later."

She was relieved when Meowth hopped off her bed without noticing her red cheeks.

But the damn cat was still laughing to himself. Oops! Uh, forget that swear word. She's on a cartoon, she can't think that way.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?" James asked Meowth. Jesse had long since stopped laughing, but the blush remained.

She glanced to the side, and she saw that Meowth had been stupid enough to leave James' sketch book sitting right out in the open next to her. She quickly grabbed it and hid it behind her back.

"Oh, nothin'," Meowth answered, feigning innocence. He clambered out the window. It made no sense, if you thought about it, since they were on the second floor, but that doesn't matter. Why? That's right! He's a cartoon!

Trying to distract James, she held out her now finished breakfast for him to take. "I'm finished. You wanna wash this for me?" For dramatic effect, she batted her eyelashes.

He took the breakfast and set it on the table. "Jesse, what are you hiding?" He tried to peek around her.

"Um . . . nothing!" She evaded her partner as best she could.

His hands grabbed her small waist to try to move her so he could see what she had.

Jesse howled with laughter, letting go of the notebook to try to get his hands away from her.

"I didn't know you were ticklish, Jesse!" He totally forgot about what she was hiding, because tickling Jesse was obviously much more important. Or so he thought.

"Why not? We've known each other forever."

He put his hands at his sides again. "I guess it's 'cuz we're cartoons."

"I guess."

Suddenly, James reached for Jesse again and began tickling her all over; tummy, neck, armpits . . . he even yanked her boot off her good leg and tickled her foot. She laughed hysterically the whole time, helplessly telling James to "Stop it or I'll kill you!"

Then (finally) Jesse realized that her thrashing, kicking and laughing wasn't doing her any good, and she fought back. She reached for the side of his tummy as best as she could and tickled him.

He stopped for a second and sat down on her bed. "Nuh-uh-uh! I'm not ticklish!" Tickling her again, he only laughed from making her squirm.

He must have a ticklish spot, Jesse thought. She decided to look for it.

Armpits?

Nope.

Neck?

Nope.

She knew it was a long-shot, but . . . chest?

Nope.

Feet! It had to be!

She pulled off his boots pretty quickly for somebody who was uncontrollably laughing her butt off. She tickled him.

Success!

He was now laying on her bed, hands off her, laughing. His head was by her feet, but he was now helpless as she tickled away. The sweet torture continued for twice as long as hers had.

When she stopped, James couldn't speak for a minute or two. He was panting and trying not to laugh anymore.

"Time for practice, James!"

He nodded.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation."

"To unite all peoples within our nation."

"To denounce the evils of truth and *love* . . ." She couldn't help it. She blushed.

"To extend *our* reach to the *stars* above." He blushed too.

They both wondered why the other blushed, but didn't voice their concerns. Actually, nobody knows why they blushed. They didn't usually blush. It made no sense. But that's alright, of course, because they're cartoons. If you do happen to know why, then congratulations, you're a genius! Please tell me.

"Jesse!"

"James."

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

And then, out of *no*where, "Meowth! That's right!"

"Ah," James contentedly sighed. "What a wonderful way to start the day."

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A little while later, the trio was out on some nameless dirt road walking along together. Well, Jesse wasn't walking. She had insisted on being carried; crutches were sooooo dorky. She was surprised that James didn't mind in the slightest. Of course, he *is* a cartoon, so he can have particularly powerful arms when it fits with the plot.

"I'm so glad we gave up that whole stealing Pikachu bit, Jesse. It really wasn't us."

"Me too, James. It wasn't very ethical either. Losing all the time was really starting to get on my nerves. What if people had started to *call* us losers? I wouldn't be able to stand it." Her nose scrunched up at the thought. "Hey, do you think now that we're the good guys, Ash and Company are the bad guys?"

"That's a wonderful question, Jesse."

"Why thank you, James." She was about to ask him to answer the question already when a big, thick, ugly rope snagged her around the waist. It really wasn't her color. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she screamed, as she was pulled upwards towards a giant Pikachu balloon.

"JESSE!!"

"James! Help me!"

"Don't worry, Jesse! I'll find a way to save you!"

Meowth spoke up. "I guess that answers her question."

Chapter 3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up in the balloon basket, Brock and Pikachu laughed as they hauled Jesse aboard. Jesse, however, did not find this amusing at all.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she cried.

"Oh, Jesse," Brock told her devilishly, "Haven't you noticed? I've always liked you." He grinned evilly.

He tied her up using the same ugly rope. She couldn't do much more than scowl. "Where are your little friends?" When she spoke, she tried to put all her hate for him in her voice.

"Oh, you mean Ash and Misty? Well, I just realized that if I'm with them all the time, I'm never going to get anywhere in life. The bottom line is: I'm going to be with you for the rest of my days."

"Pika Pi!"

Jesse spit at Brock. "What about Pikachu?"

He laughed corruptly. "Pikachu couldn't stand Ash any more than I could!"

Well, Jesse thought, as long as I'm up here, I might as well help out my Team. And she kicked Pikachu out of the balloon, hoping James got it. It wasn't stealing, really, so Team Rocket's new resolution didn't apply.

"Ooh, bad move, girlfriend."

"I'm *not* your *GIRLFRIEND*!"

"Sorry, Jess, looks like I'm gonna have to knock you out for a while."

Despite all her struggling, Brock managed to plunge a needle into her neck and inject her with a sedative. She was unconscious after two minutes.

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Meowth almost shouted a warning to James, but thought it would be funnier if he kept his mouth shut.

Pikachu hit James in the square head.

"Ow. Hey, Pikachu!" He picked it up and said hello.

"Pika!" For some reason, it sounded happy to see him. James put it down, and it didn't run away. It started jabbering to Meowth.

"Pikachu says that Brock turned into an evil demon dude, and he's always had a crush on Jesse. That's why he kidnapped her. *And*, Pikachu is willing to show us where he's taking her." Meowth smiled proudly after translating.

"Brock wants my Jess . . . I mean, he wants Jesse?!" Anger marred his features for a second, then he calmed down. "But why are you helping us?" James asked it.

After another string of Pikas and kachus to Meowth, the cat translated to James again. "Pikachu was sick of Ash, so it ran off with Brock when he left. But, ya see, Pikachu isn't evil, so it was kinda freaked out when Brock kidnapped Misty."

"Misty?"

"Yeah. Pikachu likes her, I guess, and Brock went overboard and got her for it."

Considering this, James nodded and narrowed his eyes in thought. "Say, Pikachu?"

"Pi?"

"Thanks! Let's go find Jesse!"

"Pika Pikachu!" It began running to the forest, James and Meowth on its tail. But not literally, that would be painful.

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Jesse regained consciousness with a terrible headache, momentary panic and the knowledge that her leg was now curiously cartoonishly healed.

Then she saw Misty.

"Hi Jesse."

"What are you doing here?!" She forgot that Misty was a brat when she saw that she was tied to a tree, just like she herself was.

"Brock . . . he, um, kidnapped me." She sounded scared, too.

"Me too . . ."

"You did know that Brock liked you, didn't you?"

"Not before today. I never paid him any attention." Those ugly ropes were really starting to bug her. "Say," she said, after looking around, "Where is he?"

"I don't know. I only woke up ten minutes ago."

She sighed. "Why did he have to *take* me? I had stuff to do!"

"Well, if I know Brock, he took you to get you away from James so he could have you all to himself."

"What do you mean, 'get me away from James'?"

"Well, you gotta admit, you two *do* look like a couple."

"What?!" Oh great, she thought. Blushing *again*.

"Don't you see it? You and James look *perfect* together!"

"You really think so?" Jesse sounded dispirited.

"Mmm-hmm!"Chapter 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pika!" Pikachu pointed to the small clearing in the forest where Jesse and Misty were.

"I can see Jesse! I can see her!" James sounded a *little* too happy there. He cleared his throat. ". . . anybody have a knife?"

"No! You can't cut the ropes yet!" Meowth yelled. "Brock is right there!"

"Grrr." He got so mad that the animator painted his face red.

Then Jesse saw James. She smiled and her eyes widened. She was about to speak, but he held a silencing finger over his lips. They didn't want Brock to know they were there.

Of course, Jesse *could* say she had to go to the bathroom, but cartoons just don't *go* to the bathroom. Besides, it wouldn't fit with the plot.

"Gimme some water now!"

James was surprised at how vicious she sounded.

Brock sighed. "I guess I could do that. I'd have to go down to the river, though." He scratched his chin in thought. "Okay. I'll be back in a minute, my love."

In no time, James' face was red again from jealousy.

Jesse narrowed her eyes at Brock's back. Then she stuck her tongue out at him.

Once the evil guy was out of earshot, Jesse called to James. "Finally, somebody to rescue me! What took you so long? Hurry up, these ropes are giving me a rash."

"Are you gonna save me, too?" Misty asked.

James looked to Jesse for consent, and she nodded. "I guess I could save you."

"Yay!"

"Pika! Pikachu!!"

Meowth looked at what Pikachu was getting so worked up about -- Brock was coming back. "Hey, we gotta scram! Brock's comin'!"

James, Meowth and Pikachu all jumped into the bushes, which angered Jesse to no extent. "What a bunch of chickens," she muttered to herself.

Once Brock was back in the clearing with Misty and Jesse, she chewed him out. "I hate you, Brock! Do you think I'll actually stay with you for the rest of your life?! You make me sick! Kidnapping a girl is *not* the way to win her heart! And it's not like I would fall for you anyway! I never have and never will love you! LET ME GO!!!" After a few seconds to catch her breath, she added one last thing. "Where the hell is my water?"

Everybody who heard Jesse say the "H" word covered their ears. She had said a forbidden word! When the lawyers try to sue her, though, she'll just say she was drugged, tied up, and in a state of kidnapping.

Brock looked like he was going to cry. His mouth got all funny and squiggly. "I got halfway there when I realized that you might try to trick me." He sniffled.

"Trick you? You think I'd stoop that low?! I'd blow your brains out if I had a gun! I want my water and I want it now!"

"No!"

Jesse gave him a look of pure contempt.

He sniffled again and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Eeeeww! "You're tied up. Why should I do what you tell me?" He was trying to sound dominant and confident, but with the sniffly and nose watery eyes (well, okay, lines), it just didn't work.

"Because I am Jesse from Team Rocket! Prepare for trouble!"

Brock, Misty and Jesse all waited for James to chime in. But he didn't.

"I SAID, prepare for trouble!"

Still no James.

"James, get your butt out here!"

The three waited for another minute, but James didn't answer. Little did they know that he was refusing to recite the poem because he was trying not to laugh at the way Jesse was acting towards Brock.

That, and he knew he'd do something stupid.

Jesse irritably sighed and turned back to Brock. "Can I go now?"

The slit-eyed villain had regained his calm composure. "No way! I'm not letting you go that easy. Remember? You've already got plans for this lifetime! Be my wife!"

"Didn't I already explain this to you? How thick is your skull?"

"Umm . . . can I go?" Misty asked, speaking for the first time since Brock returned.

"No! I'm in a bad mood."

The girls both rolled their eyes at him. Men didn't have any idea of what a bad mood really was.

Brock went and sat on the ground with his back to Jesse and Misty and moped.

Since James, Pikachu and Meowth hadn't made any noise for a really long time, the two girls assumed that they had left.

You can tell this is gonna be good, can't you?

"So, Misty, why are you staying with Ash when Brock and Pikachu got sick of him?"

"Um . . . he owes me a bike." She sounded unsure.

Realization dawned on Jesse. "You like him, don't you?" she asked in awe.

"No! Well . . . maybe. Okay, so kinda. A little."

"Oh, that's bad."

"I know! I know! It's just . . . you can't help who you have crushes on, you know? They just kinda happen and you don't have a choice."

"So true. You know Misty, you're not such a brat after all."

"You either, Jesse."

"I'm sorry about your crush."

"Thanks. Are you sorry about yours?"

In the bushes behind Jesse, James' ears perked up.

"What crush? I don't have a crush! Nope, no crush for me! I'm crush free!" She said the string of nonsensical crush gibberish just a bit too fast to be believable. Not that it would be believable if it was slowed down.

Being a cartoon, James trusted Jesse's words, and he visibly drooped.

Misty laughed. "Are you kidding? You were talking about James for practically the whole time you were awake! Well, before Brock came."

A grin placed itself on James' face. He was now blushing just like his partner. (Sympathy blush.)

"Well, so? That doesn't mean I like him!" She knew she did. But she would deny it as long as humanly possible.

James' face fell.

"Hey, if I admitted I like Ash, who by the way is waaaaay worse than James, you should at least *tell* me you've got a crush on him."

He smiled again.

"Will you two shut up?!" Brock called, annoyed.

Just to irk him more, they ignored him. "You've got a point there," Jesse said, before realizing that she had. "I mean . . . that is, if I actually liked him, you'd have a point."

James frowned again.

"James likes you, ya know."

His eyes widened.

"He does not!" Jesse insisted, even though she knew it was a lie.

"I notice these things, Jesse, trust me. He does."

She couldn't argue with Misty's steady expression. "So?"

One of those big funny Japanese sweat drops suddenly materialized over James.

"So, you admitted that he likes you. Now all you gotta do is say you feel the same."

"No."

Misty let out an exasperated sigh. "You're impossible."

James just sat there for a moment, then wondered where Meowth and Pikachu had gone. He looked around and found them rolling on the ground laughing off to his side. His eyes narrowed in anger.

Brock spoke up again. "Alright, that's it. You're dying. Right now." He got up and started to untie Misty.

"You can't kill me! I thought you were in love," Jesse sarcastically protested.

"If I can't have you, nobody else can."

"Oh, you're good." Jesse recognized that line from a textbook she had had to read for Bad Guy training.

"Does that mean --"

"NO!" she cut him off before he could say some ugly nauseating twisted love thing again. She almost wished she *could* die, just to get away from Brock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon, Misty and Jesse were in the same ugly scratchy rope on a boat in the middle of a lake. Brock was at the helm. Scary thought, huh?

"Who's more likely to save us, Jesse, Ash or James?" Misty wondered aloud.

"Definitely James. He's smarter than Ash. Though not by much . . ."

"We . . . we are going to get rescued, aren't we?" Misty's voice had taken on a frightened tone.

"Of course we are! We're two of the main characters in a cartoon! And, we're the only regular females! The writers *can't* kill us off." That's Jesse for ya. Always confident.

"Yeah. You're right." Misty smiled.

"Don't be so sure!" Brock stopped the boat and turned to face the girls. "I have a plan that won't fail!"

"Oh?" Jesse asked skeptically.

"What are you gonna do to us?"

"Well, Misty, since you asked," he demonically said, "I'm going to untie you, throw you overboard and then get the hell outta here." He unraveled their rope and tossed it aside.

"There are SO many holes in that plan . . ." Jesse, of course, would know.

"What are you talking about? It's foolproof!" The dumb guy. He actually believed it was.

Jesse had to struggle to keep from laughing.

Until Brock threw Misty overboard, of course.

"Ah! Help! Somebody!"

Rolling her eyes, Jesse knew James was probably already there. Brock wouldn't be able to see him, obviously, 1) because it would screw up the plot, and 2) because he had really bad vision.

"Goodbye, Jesse." Brock grabbed her shoulders and pressed his mouth onto hers.

Jesse felt sick. She bit his lip as hard as she could, but then he just chucked her off the boat.

Laughing like a homicidal maniac, he sped off and vanished on the horizon.

"Where is James?" Jesse was beginning to get worried; it had been almost a minute since she was dropped in the water. Her hairspray was beginning to run off.

"Where is Ash?"

They both were treading the water as best as they could, trying to stay afloat. If they were real people, they could stay above the surface by floating on their backs. But . . . cartoons just don't work that way.

After a couple more minutes, they went under.

Chapter 5~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There they are!" Meowth yelled, perched high on James' head.

"Alright! Finally, I get to be a hero!" James steered the boat over to the two floating, faced-down girls and heaved them aboard. Jesse first. Duh.

Pikachu raced to Misty, who, like Jesse, lay completely still, and shocked her. She sat up and gave her thanks to the three for saving her.

"Ah! Jesse!" Since the rules for a cartoon say that the same technique can't be used to revive a person twice, James had to think of a way to get Jesse breathing on his own.

Misty ran to the helm and quickly drove the boat home to the dock. It took almost no time, so it didn't matter much to Jesse's health.

James picked her up and carried her ashore to lay her on the beach. There's just prettier scenery there.

"I'll use mouth to mouth resuscitation!" James was delighted with his epiphany and the fact that he would get to kiss her. Well, kinda kiss her. He could've used some of that revive stuff, but why would he do that when he could kiss her? Besides, the bottles look *atrocious*.

He pressed his mouth to hers and blew in, doing the whole CPR thing about three times.

Jesse coughed.

She sat up and coughed some more, spitting out a bunch of gross lake water. The first thing she said was, "James, thanks for saving my life and all, but do you think you could get me a blow-dryer and a few cans of hairspray?"

"Already done, Jesse!" He reached behind his back and pulled out a battery-powered blow-dryer, five cans of her favorite hairspray, and her larger-than-life pink brush. It's a cartoon thing.

Jesse smiled with a twinkle in her eye, took the supplies from James, stood up, turned around, waved her arms around her hair in a blur for a few seconds, turned back around, and had her hair perfectly restored to its normal condition.

Then, as an afterthought, she hugged James.

Took her a while, huh?

"How do you do that thing with your hair?" James asked once she pulled away.

"It's the hairspray. You know, it's called 'Nuclear Bonding Spray.' That's why my hair is pink!"

"What color is it naturally?"

Since she had used the hairspray all her life, she really didn't know. Maybe her hair really was pink. She smacked him. (He was due for a smacking.) "I can't tell you all my little secrets."

Reading her thoughts, he asked, "You don't know, do you?"

"Not a chance."

"Hey, where did everybody go?"

They both looked around for Pikachu, Meowth and Misty, but they weren't there. "Misty?" Jesse called.

"Yeah?" she innocently called from somewhere in the bushes and trees. She walked out onto the sand with the two.

"Where are Pikachu and Meowth?"

"They went looking for Brock. So, Jesse, are you gonna admit it yet?"

Jesse blushed. She decided to play dumb, which was probably a very bad idea. "Admit what?" She nervously laughed.

"Oh, you know! About who you li-"

Jesse rushed behind Misty and covered her mouth. She laughed nervously again and looked at James, smiling nervously, too.

"What's she talking about, Jesse?" he cluelessly inquired, even though he'd overheard their entire conversation while they were in captivity. Cartoons!

"Oh, nothing, James!" She let go of Misty and put her hands behind her back. Yes, playing dumb was a *very* bad idea. Very, very bad. "Just girl talk, that's all. You know, like, nail polish and chic flicks and shopping! You wouldn't be interested in anything we were talking about! Totally useless information! Nothing to do with guys!" She covered her own mouth after hearing herself say the last sentence.

Misty rolled her eyes. "This is getting really frustrating!"

Hearing her seriously angered tone, Jesse and James both turned to look at her and listened.

"I can't believe you two just don't get it!"

"Get what?" James truly did look hopelessly confused.

Jesse refrained from speaking. She was apprehensively wringing her hands, too freaked out to say anything coherent.

"Why don't you just kiss her and get it over with!" It was more of a demand than a question.

James was still confused. You know why; cartoons.

"Look. Jesse, you like James. James, you like Jesse." Misty spoke as if to befuddled children. "You have crushes on each other. You look fashionably terrific together. Just kiss, okay?!"

They both fell over, like cartoons do, for reasons I can't even begin to imagine. Misty helped them both up.

Now, they each stood face to face. On a scale of one to ten, both of their blush factors were about . . . oh . . . a billion.

"So, uh, Jesse," he began. "What do you say?"

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, calming herself. She opened her eyes again and smiled. She impulsively reached her hand up to brush that strand of hair that always fell in his eyes off to the side, like she'd always wanted to do. When it fell right back into his face, she made a mental note to buy him some of her hairspray. But what would she do if his hair turned pink . . . ?

James grinned, too, and placed his hands on her waist. No, he did *not* tickle her this time. Are you kidding? We're in the mushy part of the story now! We can't have anything funny happen!

"Kiss already!" Misty was really starting to get annoying. It didn't matter, though. Why?

Yes! Because they FINALLY kissed!

And just like in any cartoon romance, fireworks went off behind them. For once, Jesse and James weren't *in* the fireworks.

Cue the cheesy love song.

. . . and Jesse and James lived happily ever after. The end.

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Wasn't that the most beautiful piece of work you've ever read? What? Yes? Man, have you got problems. This was so fun to write, 'cuz I got to blame on the plot holes on the fact that it's a cartoon! Tell me how fun it was to read. Allicatt3@aol.com.