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Divorce and Remarriage

Some Common Questions

TEXT:  Heb. 13:4

INTRODUCTION

At this point we want to stop momentarily to answer some common problems that come up in the

discussion of divorce and remarriage.  Some of these problems are objections that are raised and

some have to do with well known principles that are often overlooked.

I.      THE APOLUO ARGUMENT.

A.      It is argued by some people that in Matthew 19:9 "put away"( apoluo ) means total

          dissolution of the marriage bond and that therefore the divorce for fornication

          completely dissolves the marriage... meaning, to the advocates of the argument, that

          the guilty fornicator is no longer bound to the "innocent party."  Therefore, it is

          argued, the guilty can remarry just like the innocent party because the

          bond/relationship between the two has been totally dissolved.

B.      ANSWERS TO THE ARGUMENT:

          1.       Thayer's root meaning of apoluo is "To loose from, sever by loosening."

          2.       However, as it relates to human relationships, "used of divorce, to dismiss

                   from the house, to repudiate."( Thayer, p. 66, #4 ).

          3.       Also used in Matthew 5:31-32.  A man can apoluo his wife, and yet make her

                   commit adultery.  If the bond is dissolved completely with the marriage, how

                   can she commit adultery?

II.     "IT'S BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN"( 1 Cor. 7:9 ).

A.      This argument is advanced by many in an attempt to justify their remarriage.  They

          plead physical weakness and say that God would prefer them to "legalize" a

          relationship than commit fornication.

B.      ANSWERS TO THE ARGUMENT:

          1.       They ignore verse 8Who is spoken to?  Those who have never been

                    married. Those who are married and are contemplating divorce are addressed

                    in verses 10-11.

          2.       God certainly wouldn't tell the divorced not to marry ( vs. 10 ) after telling

                    them it was OK( vs. 9 ).

          3.       This is a twisting of the Scriptures to make them say something they obviously

                   do not mean ( 2 Pet. 3:16 ).

          4.       We have heard some say, "Some people can do without and some just cannot. 

                   I am one of those who cannot."  Of course this an attempt to justify a

                    marriage that has been questioned.  If this does justify a questionable marriage

                   ( one that involves adultery ), what would it justify if the one making the

                    statement couldn't convince someone to marry or even commit fornication

                    with him.  What ever happened to self-control?

III.    REPENTANCE AND ITS IMPLICATIONS.

A.      Quite frequently people will accept a principle without understanding fully its

          implications.  That is, they will not comprehend how the principle applies to the

          problem solving and decision making in daily living.  I firmly believe such is the case

          with the principle of repentance.  We understand baptism, but don't understand the

          principle of that which precedes baptism...repentance.  Also, we have failed to

          learn that baptism does not cleanse any sins that have not been repented of

          The implications for divorce and remarriage should be obvious.  A person who is

          living in an unlawful marriage will claim that after baptism it is all right to continue,

          because baptism cleansed them of their adulterous relationship's condemnation.  This

          is patently wrong and one who advances such an argument illustrates that they do

          not understand God's teaching on repentance and its implications in daily living.

B.      DEFINITION:  metanoeo, "To change one's mind for the better, heartily to amend

          with abhorrence one's past sins"( Thayer, p. 405 ).  "In a religious sense, implying

          sorrow for unbelief and sin, and turning from them unto God and the gospel"

          ( Robinson, p. 458 ).

C.      WHAT IS INVOLVED IN REPENTANCE?

          1.       Repentance is a result of Godly sorrow( 2 Cor. 7:10 ).

          2.       A change of the mind:

                   a.       affections( Rom. 12:9 ).

                   b.       will( Rom. 6:11-13 ).

          3.       A change of action( Rom. 6:1-2;  Col. 3:9-10;  Luke 3:8 ).

          4.       Restitution where possible( Luke 19:8;  Mark 6:18 ). ( Revelation 9:20-21; 

                   2 Cor. 12:20-21 ).

          5.       One cannot continue doing what he is repenting of.

          6.       How can we have Godly sorrow for that which we refuse to quit?  We want

                   to put away anything that would be contrary to God's expressed will.

D.      QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

          1.       How is it possible for two people to continue living in an adulterous

                   marriage...and repent of it?

          2.       How can baptism cleanse us of  such a relationship if we remain in it?

          3.       How can two people express Godly sorrow for an adulterous marriage and

                   still live in it?

          4.       How can they enter heaven if they refuse to repent?

          5.       Why can't we refuse to repent of any sin?  If we steal money can we keep it

                   when we are baptized and go to heaven?  Does not baptism cleanse all sin?

          6.       Where is the Scripture that teaches forgiveness without repentance?

IV.   GOD vs. MAN( Isaiah 55:8-9 ).

A.      WE CANNOT SOLVE THIS CONTROVERSY ON THE BASIS OF WHAT

          SEEMS RIGHT TO US( Prov. 14:12 ).

B.      WE MUST LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RELEVANT AND

          IRRELEVANT DATA:

          1.       It is tragic that a prison sentence results in loss of income for the family of the

                    convict, reproach upon the family name, and hardship on the children. 

                   Though this data is important, it is not relevant to whether or not the convict

                   ought to go to jail for murder, theft, assault, etc.

          2.       Acts 19:27.  What effect did the gospel have on these men and their

                   livelihood?

          3.       Today it is tragic that children suffer in divided homes, but this is not relevant

                   to whether two people can continue in an adulterous relationship.  What if a

                   man had three wives?  Why is it all right to break up the first home ( we are

                   encouraged to in some cases ) for dishonorable reasons, and not the second in

                   order to restore righteousness in our lives?

V.    THE RELEVANCY OF Matt. 5 and 19.

A.      THE APOSTLES WERE TO TEACH THAT WHICH JESUS TAUGHT THEM

          ( John 14:26;  Mat. 28:19-20 ).

B.      IF THEY ARE NOT RELEVANT, THERE IS NO SCRIPTURAL AUTHORITY

          FOR DIVORCE, MUCH LESS DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.

C.      IN Mat. 19 JESUS GOES BACK TO THE BEGINNING ( vs. 4 and 8 ) AND

          CITES GOD'S ORIGINAL INTENTION AND REGULATION OF MARRIAGE.

          THERE IS NO INDICATION THAT GOD HAS EVER CHANGED HIS

          MIND ON THIS SUBJECT, OR IF HE HAS, HE HAS NEGLECTED TO TELL US.