I took it out it was midnight
I put on oil to get the setting right
I started whacking off and took out my towel
But then I took out the pornography
And that's about the time I shot my sperm on me
Nobody likes you when you're so horny
And are still more amused by pornography
What the hell is a STD?
My friends say I should get a girl
Where's my sperm again?
Where's my sperm again?
Then later on, on the drive home,
I pulled it out on a gay man
I said I was the cops
And you're bending over in jail
The state looks up to sodomy
And that's about the time the whore ranaway from me
Nobody likes you when you're so horny
And are still amused by my sexual anatomy
What the hell is venereal disease?
My friends say I should get a girl
Where's my sperm again?
Where's my sperm again?
And then I jerked all over me
Nobody likes you when you're so horny
And still are a virgin
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should get a girl
Where's my sperm again?
Where's my sperm again?
That's about the time I found a girl for me
No one should take masturbation so seriously
With so many years to go limber
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to find my sperm
Where's my sperm again?