Viva Gordito
Viva Gordito?

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean lays an island hidden from the outside world by a cloaking device created by El Torso. This island is Macho Mesa, and is home to nine of the greatest heroes in history. Planes and ships pass by without ever knowing of its existence. But one plane is headed on a collision course with the Hall of the Nine Kings. Luckily the pilot knows the island exists, for the pilot is Oso Verde returning from his voyage to find a suitable place to work out. And he has brought a new friend, the super strong man called Bundy.

"We're almost there." says Oso.

"Almost where? Bundy no see nothing." But as the Macho Jet passes through the cloaking field, the majestic island suddenly becomes visible. "Dude, where that island come from dude? It not there second ago."

"We have a shield that conceals the island from outsiders. It sure is beautiful aint it? I'll give you a sky tour." Oso says as he buzzes over Macho Mesa. "That's Lake Macho, and there's the Hall of the Nine Kings, where we live. Looks like Sueltos Frijoles and Huevos de Diablo are playing some basketball. That's Macho Mountain, and the Great Pinetop Forest. There's the Astral Plains, and Butt Gnome Town and. Over there is the Swamp of Shadows, and the Saguaro Desert. Over there are the Snot Mines and the Village of Nose Goblins. Those ruins used to be the castle of an evil witch. Hey! Is there somebody down there? Maybe it was nothing. That place kind of spooks me out. Actually there's and interesting story behind that." So Oso tells the harrowing tale of how the Nine were captured and found the Chalice, and of their fight for freedom. After finishing the tour Oso lands in the hanger located beside the Hall. "Well here we are. Lets go get something to eat. Caliente can make some mean stakes."

"Good me hungry."

"Yo whats up Oso?" yells Sueltos. "You find a place to work out? You've been gone for 6 freaking hours."

"Yeah dude I found a place. It's sweet dude. And you gotta meet this guy. He's even stronger than me! Sueltos Frijoles meet Bundy. Bundy meet Sueltos."

"Me Bundy. Nice to meet you."

"Same here man. Fantasmas caught some fish so we're going to have a BBQ. Duende Gallo went to get some stakes and burgers. He should be back soon."

"Cool, looks like I got back just in time. I'm gonna show Bundy around and introduce him to the rest of the guys."

So one by one Oso finds his brothers and the Chicas, and introduces them to Bundy. They then all got together in the great dining room and enjoy feast. The Hall is full of laughter and joy. It is wonderful time until... THOOM, a great sound rattles the table and everybody is quiet. THOOM It sounds again louder. THOOM The walls shake. The sound seems to be right outside the main entrance. A loud but high-pitched voice booms through the castle.

"I am Gordito. I wish to speak with the members of Macho Mesa."

The Nine rush to see who or what is calling for them. Huevos is the first to the door, while Fantasmas races up the stairs to get a sniper position in one of the towers. Huevos opens the door and from inside all anybody can see is a huge shadow blocking the sun. Standing not ten feet away is a rotund man of enormous girth.

"I have heard that you are the most powerful people on Earth. That is not true since I am not one of you. That is why I demand you take me as your leader, for I am more powerful than you can believe."

"You? AAHHH HA HA HA!!" laughs Duende.

"What's your power? mocks Choni Susio. "Fattest man in the world?"

"Yes, but that is not all."

"How did you find this place anyway?" asks El Torso. "And how did you see past the cloaking shield?"

"You see those are also my powers. Not only is my fat sexy, it's also useful. I floated across the ocean. My blubber floats, and protects me. As for your cloaking devise, I could smell this place all the way from my hideout in Naco, Arizona."

"That's great," says Cerviche. "But you're just not macho material. And nobody demands to be our leader. We don't even have a leader!"

"If you will not accept me then I shall not move from this spot. And there is nothing you can do to move me."

"Oh yeah?" smirks Caliente. "We'll see about that." Caliente's hair bursts into flame and there is a noticeable rise in temperature. "Yo check dis out. SOLAR BLAST!!" Caliente channels the suns rays through his body unleashing a firery explosion at Gordito. When the smoke clears the earth is charred and blackened, but the gargantuan Gordito stands unscathed.

"Is that it? My fat protects me from both heat and cold."

"Do not worry my brothers. I will dispatch of this overweight nuisance," says Duende Gallo, and projects his thoughts inside Gorditos head. "AAARRRGG!!" Duende screams and falls to the ground. Huevos rushes to his side and asks if he's ok. "Yes, I am fine, but very hungry. All I could sense in his head is the smell of bacon grease."

"Ha ha ha," laughs Gordito. "My fat also protects me from psychic attack."

BANG Fantasmas fires a shot hitting the obese one in the heart. The large man grunts but then pops the bullet out of his body and it falls to the ground.

"Okay fat boy, it's go time." Oso rushes Gordito, grabs him, and strains with all his might, but he can barely lift him a couple feet off the ground. "Oh man that guy weighs a lot," he says and collapses on the ground.

"Now it my turn." Bundy grabs the fat man and lifts him above his head. Everybody cheers. But then Bundy's strength gives out and he is crushed under the great weight. "Bundy back hurt."

"You are both very strong to even lift me, but you are not strong enough."

"Come on you guys," says Sueltos. "I thought you were strong. Now go move this guy."

"Move him your damn self."

"Look at him, he's laughing at you. He says you're pussies and you suck each others wangs."

"So what."

"Hey!" shouts El Torso. "What's he eating? Aren't those Oso's and Bundy's twinkies?"

"What!?" shout the two strong men. "Nobody steals our twinkies!!" Enraged, they charge Gordito, and with a burst of adrenalin they launch the behemoth in to orbit.

"Whoa," says Choni Susio. "Remind me never to take those guy's twinkies."

"HA HA HA HA Hee Hee Ho Ha" Everybody bursts into laughter. For once again the day has been saved by MACHO MESA!!!