By Alex Chihak
©1999
I had just finished eating dinner. This was going to be my last dinner at home for a long time. The next day I was going to college. Several colleges sent me offers. A few that I passed on were Luther College, City University, Tiffin University, and New Hampshire Tech. The college I was going to was Georgia Tech.
I was like any white suburban kid. I listened to real music like Bush, The Wallflowers, Green Day and some Pantera. My parents raised me in this two-story house with five bedrooms and three bathrooms. My older brother, Dave was working in a “business” (He was in the mob. I hate him for that, but I watch my back!). My sisters were both younger than me. Virginia, 14, and Pattie, 10 were both brats and told on me all the time. It got so bad that sometimes I wished that Dave would come back to control them.
I slept well that night. I had dreams of what it would be like in college. I could have great classes and I might even sign up for baseball. I was so excited! I was finally getting out of my high school years with Mr. Keith and I could meet new friends. Maybe I could join a fraternity!
I woke up the next morning fresh and cool. I showered and got dressed. I flew downstairs and sat down to eat. Mom was sad and Dad was eating the bacon. He was just like that. After I finished eating, I walked up to Mom and she cried on me. She said, “Here, son. Take this money. We were saving it for college since Dave was born. It was originally his but he’s in the mafia, now.”
“Stupid kid!” Dad said. “We had hopes for him, and now he’s hiding from the friggin’ law! You’re our only hope, Scott.”
“What about Virginia and Pattie?” I asked.
“Virginia’s not going to college. She says that ‘gothics’ don’t go to college,” Dad said not looking up from the sports page. “You know, Scott, Georgia Tech was in the baseball playoffs. They lost to LSU.”
“I know. I will make them better.”
“Shut up. Now go help your mother clean up the bacon before the dog comes in and pees on the upholstery. Whoops! Yer too late, son! Guess that will have to be cleaned up. Pattie! Get yer butt down here and clean up the dog’s mess!”
Pattie ran downstairs and picked up a wet rag to clean up after the dog. I slipped upstairs and grabbed my bus tickets off of my dresser. I took my bag full of clothes, money, and other things for my trip to college. After I was all organized, I kissed Mom goodbye and waved to Dad. He yelled something back but his mouth was too full of bacon to understand him. I think he said something about beer and baseball.
The bus station was about five blocks away from my house and I decided to walk to it in the nice weather. When I arrived at the bus stop, I saw another guy who looked to be my age. He was getting on the same bus as I was and he looked friendly. “Hey,” I said. “Where ya headed with all the stuff?”
He looked at me and answered, “College. I’m going to a big college in Atlanta. You probably haven’t even heard of it.”
“What college is that?” I asked.
“Georgia Institute of Technology.” He looked at me and it seemed like he was waiting for hysterical laughter.
“Wow!” I shouted. “I’m going there, too! Maybe we will be roomies or something.”
“Maybe! Hey, what’s your name? I’m Jerry Brown.”
“Scott Yash. Nice to meet you Jerry.” I reached out my hand and he shook it. He had a very firm grip, like a bear or some big animal. We got on the bus together and talked all the way to Atlanta. This was both our first trip to Atlanta so we didn’t know what to expect. I wanted to visit the CNN headquarters and TBS.
The bus ride was cool. Jerry was eating donuts the whole way. I ate a few and got full. He had like ten boxes in his bag! He could sure eat. He said eating made him feel better. I could tell he was nervous because he ate a lot of those boxes. I assured him I was just as nervous as him, if not more.
When we arrived in Atlanta, we gaped at the buildings. They were all around us on Northside Drive. The bus dropped us off and we took the taxi to North Avenue. We told the driver to stop and we paid him in front of the campus.
Jerry and I walked across the street at the light by Luckie Street and continued on to Georgia Tech’s campus. We walked to the main building and told the people who we were. I got some strange dorm on the north end of campus. Jerry got one on the south side. We got our keys and said our goodbye’s.
“Maybe we’ll meet up in the same class,” Jerry said.
“Fat chance!” I answered back. Boy, was I ever right about us never meeting up again!
My dorm was and old-looking building. It was brick and it looked like a nice place to stay in. I walked up to the front desk and asked where my room was.
After getting my instructions, I walked to my second-floor dorm room and walked inside. The room was big and had two beds in it. I explored around and found a small bathroom and a cable connector in the wall. This was going to rule! I decided to choose my bed before my room mate came. I started listening to my tape of Bush when I found my tape player. I posted up my posters of Bush, Pantera, Boston Celtics, Chicago Bears, and New York Mets when I saw a guy come in the door.
“Hey,” he said. “You must be my room mate. Cool. How long have you been here?”
“Ten minutes,” I replied. “As you can see, this is my bed.”
“Yeah, you like cool music. Your sports teams suck, though!”
“I go for the underdogs. I’m Scott Yash. Who are you?”
“I’m Andrew Lange. I’m from Richmond, Virginia.”
“That’s cool. I’m from Portsmouth.”
“Oh. Stupid!” He said to my face. I ignored him.
“Why’d you come to this college?”
“I got a full scholarship for basketball. What sports do you play?”
“I play football, basketball, and mostly baseball. I was pretty good at baseball in high school.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Scott,” He shook my hand. “I gotta go. I’m gonna sign up for my engineering classes. See you, Scott.”
He shut the door at the same time my Bush tape ended the hit song, “Machine Head.” I was going to be a computer engineer, if I didn’t get drafted to the MLB first. I wondered what it would be like being an engineer. I could help build things, and crash them down to the ground! Boy, I was sure going to learn a lot at Georgia Tech.
I went to my classes during the week and did pretty well in them. I really wanted to play football and I was keeping my GPA up. One day when Andrew was sitting down on his bed, he asked me, “Scott, do you want to try out for football?”
I shrugged, “I guess. Do you know where to, though?”
“Yeah. Coach George O’Leary asked me to try out. I want you to come too, Scott.”
“Nah. I’m gonna join baseball.”
* * * * * *
Many weeks passed and I tried out for basketball. I walked into my room and say Andrew. “Hey. I made the team!” I said.
“Yeah. You’re better than everyone thinks,” he replied.
“I’m better than everyone,” I said. Sure I seemed cocky, but I was pretty good a basketball. I knew for sure I was better than Andrew Lange.
“My life’s too normal,” I said. “I hate my life. I want to do something about it.”
Andrew ignored me.
Andrew left and slept over at one of his friends’ dorms. I had the dorm all to myself. Right before I put my head on my pillow, a strange man covered from head to toe walked in my room. Only his eyes were showing.
He said, “I have some bad news.”
I answered, “You’re the bad news!”
He said, “No. A man named Jerry Brown was killed yesterday. I just want you to be careful walking around campus until we catch the killer.”
“Jerry Brown! Jerry Brown!” I walked up to the dorm manager and grabbed him by the throat. I threw him on the bed and choked him. He died.
Andrew came in and said that the dorm manager was found in this room. He said, “Scott, a man was killed here last night. Do you know anything about this?”
I answered, “Yes, I mean no.”
“Scott, where you here?”
“Yes. No.”
“What?”
“A man died here last night, Andrew?”
“Yes. Did you do it?”
“Yes. I mean where?”
“Here!”
“Here?”
“Yes, Scott!”
“Scott. Did you kill this man? He was found in this room!”
“You don’t have any proof who did it! Who did it?”
“I don’t know!”
Andrew seemed really confused. He should have been. Little did he know, I was the one who killed the man that night. I did it! I don’t know why, but I did. Andrew left to go shoot some hoops.
“Why are you playing basketball this late at night?” I asked.
“If I can make shots in the dark, then I can surely make them in the day,” Andrew stated.
He left and I drifted off to sleep. I had a dream that night. My friend I met on the bus, Jerry Brown came to my room. He said, “Hey, Scott. I’m dead. You should be, too. It’s time, Scott. Do the right thing.”
I woke up and knew what I had to do. I got dressed and went to my final game. We were playing Virginia tonight, my home state. I had to beat them. I had to go out on top.
Andrew walked in to eat breakfast. I cooked waffles this morning. We started eating when I heard a knock at the door. I answered it. Joe Darby was there. He sat down and started eating. We talked about the upcoming game and our lives.
“Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.” I said.
“Scott, you need counseling, man,” Joe said.
“I have a counselor,” I said, “Satan.”
“You are weird, Scott.” Andrew told me.
They started talking again. Joe bit a smiley into the waffle. I looked at him and told him, “You know, if you look into the heart of the waffle, you devour its soul.”
“You are weird!” Joe said.
“Hey Andrew. We gonna beat them boys at Virginia?” I asked Andrew.
“Heck yeah, bro. We will slaughter them!” Andrew seemed to put the murder behind him. Heck, so did I. The dream stuck to me like glue, though.
As we walked on to Alexander Memorial Coliseum, I felt an eerie sensation come over me. I knew what to do. I would finish the game and do what I had to do.
Three hours later, I sat in the locker room. Everyone was cheering but me. I didn’t have to cheer. It would happen soon enough.
As I got in my dorm, I grabbed my Fresno State shirt. I put it on and set up a video camera in the room. I aimed it at the bed. I turned it on.
“Hey. My life is too normal. I wanted a good life but this is too normal for me. It’s boring. I want to be different. Look. I’m wearing a Fresno State shirt. Know why? ‘Cause everyone here at Tech wears a Tech shirt. DIFFERENT! Oh yeah! If you don’t think that you’re crazy, too, well then you just don’t know yourself!” I shut the camera off and Andrew walked into the room. He looked puzzled.
“Scott, what are you doing with a camera?” He asked.
“Uh, what camera?” I was such a moron. “Oh! That camera! Nothing.”
I waited for him to leave. I took the tape out and hit it under the mattress. I continued to tear my Fresno State shirt in half. I placed one end on the top of the door and slammed the door. I tied the other end around my neck. I leaned forward to test how tight it was. It was perfect. I leaned forward and dropped myself a little. I could feel the pressure on my neck. I could also feel the pulse in my neck. I took one last look at the ceiling and it all went black.
* * * * * *
Andrew walked into the room. He saw Scott hanging from the door. He ran outside and called the police. They came and questioned him. After the body was removed, Andrew decided to move out. He lifted the mattress and noticed the tape. He popped it in the VCR and watched it. His only response, “What a psycho!”
So Scott found his bliss. If suicide was what he wanted, it is what he got. Scott had a mental disorder and suffered from mild schizophrenia. He believed that suicide would make his normal life better. He believed ending his life would make it better. It couldn’t make it better if he isn’t there to live it. Scott Yash was a typical guy. He just viewed the world differently than we do.
Don’t do what Scott did. He was a very disturbed person. As a teen, he got bullied a lot. People saw him as a normal guy, they just didn’t accept his way of thinking. He saw the world through a tunnel. Some people see it with an open mind, others don’t. Scott didn’t. He knew something would happen to him, just not when. It happened to him when he was in college. He had problems and couldn’t handle them. His demise meant, no more depression, but it also meant sorrow for others. Scott didn’t care, he just did what he thought was best for him.
What Scott did may have seemed to be the best for him, but it wasn’t. He could have changed, but he chose not to. He could have had counseling, but he chose not to. Scott chose the wrong thing to do. He couldn’t handle the right thing. Learn from Scott’s mistake and do the right thing!
