The day wasted far too long into the dark. I put aside the torches to the chamber, turned down the lamps, freed out the bedclothes and asked the servant to warm the bed as well as to add fresh sachet to the blankets. I found no need for new logs near the firebox and be it now, I am worn so much so that rest appears more wanting than a warm spoon of broth to the pitied ones. Before I turn back the linens, before I close my eyes, before I hasten my mind off to dream, I am compelled to first speak with you.
When I arose this morn my tongue walked about a bit faster than my head. The thoughts that raced in me I did not ask for, yet, the lashings that I fired out to those whom unsuspectingly happened to pass 'tween my cross hairs was so wrong of me. I will smile more at all when the sun comes up.
Farther into the ill started day when I bargained at the broad market, my sneers and unnumbered 'tsks' I am sure were called into order by the Dark Angel himself and I obliged Him. I am sorry from within.
When the counter sitter put into my bag by mishap four red apples instead of three for which I had paid, I did not object nor tell her of my notice. I will pay for the oversight upon my next trip.
In the eventime, when the smith came to collect his earnings, it was sad of me to attempt to querry his hire as he did such a fine and modest working. I will send him more labors for pay.
This talk now has done my soul good and will bolster my sleep. Upon arising with the sun in the morn, I hope that we shall converse again. For maybe then my wrongs shall be lessened. And when the day rolls around again to the night I have hope that my 10th step will not be so long. Thank you, God, for all that You are!
PS. Dear Lord, the next time some AA prick says to me, "take thee thy ass to a meeting", please teach him how to talk in a more conventional way or give me the right words to tell him to kindly go fuck himself, but with LOVE!!! Amen.
Lovingly submitted by Joey, Seattle, WA
Sometimes I really have some crappy moments and I am the one that allows those moments to turn into real crappy days. Sometimes I'm stuck in the muck of life and I allow myself to stay there and slowly sink. Yep, the Big Book goes out the window, the Serenity Prayer and my little book of phone numbers too. And there I just sit, white knuckling the moment and cursing the day. Why? Because I'm human and humans have special worries and cares?? Yep!!!! And also because I tend to forget about what I call the old rocking chair, known to all us as The 3rd Step "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood HIM"
For such a long time, I had a problem understanding what that really meant. I thought that by taking step 3 that I was going to have to lead a life full of nothing but dullness and then one day, long after my death, I would be nominated into the Hall of Saints. But, I was reading it all wrong and I have taking the 3rd step and I have NOT turned my will and life over to God. I have, however, turned it all over to His 'care.'
As a sober parent, my children are in my care. I do not own their lives nor do I control their minds. It's the same with me and God, He is the Daddy and I am the kid, I am in His care. I am a free agent with a mind and a conscience and all I really have to do is look at any problem or concern and pick out what I think is the most viable option and then leave it alone. Either it will work out or it won't, but it doesn't matter. Isn't that what I really do is make decisions all day long??? Sure it is! And if throughout the course of the day I make a bunch of bad or 'not so well' decisions, I can just take them back to Daddy and He fixes them for me or He shows me how to straighten them out myself. And then on the days that I tend to make a whole bunch of right or 'well' decisions, I just sit back and tell everyone how smart I really am!! Ergo, the old rocking chair.
So, how come I don't always remember this when I am going thru some of those crappy moments that turn into crappy days? Could it be that maybe I just haven't been to enough meetings where I have taken the CRAP out of my ears? Maybe, eh?
Respectfully submitted by Joey, Seattle, WA
10 AA's
A Poem
Anonymous
