Well, to define the start of labor can mean different things to different people. Dilation and effacement could be defined as the start of labor while others define it as the start of contractions that come at certain intervals and strengths. Depending on what you go by I will just start from when I lost my plug.

I lost my plug in early December, I noted it in my head but at the same time thought the plug I was looking at was too small so I kind of passed it off but still noted it. A few days later I was anxious to know if anything had happened like effacement or dilation if any. Since we were planning a semi UC birth I didn’t have a “true” midwife and I tried several times but couldn’t find or reach my own cervix, so I had my husband check for me. It was the weekend before Christmas and we found I was dilated to 1cm. Neither of us knew at that time how to check for effacement but to know I had dilated was enough for me.

About a week later I had my husband check me again, just before New Years, and I had progressed to 3cm. I was starting to get excited now. We weren’t exactly sure of my due dates and back in November when I had some Braxton Hicks contractions for over 12 hours we had deemed me and my baby safe for delivery anytime after January 5th. January 5th came and went. I would get some contractions here and there but nothing real significant. Then on January 7th I awoke one morning to bloody show. Now I was real excited since it usually isn’t too long after that, which things start to happen. Well nothing came of it, just more dilation and effacement. This time my birth assistant checked me and I was at about 6-7cm dilated and 80-90% effaced. I stayed like that for the next 3 weeks. Every few days throughout those 3 weeks I tried everything. I did the evening primrose oil, black and blue cohosh, caster oil, sex, and I even had my husband massage my cervix. I was getting really frustrated and almost desperate, okay I did get desperate.

As the end of January loomed closer I somehow knew the closer I got to February the bigger my baby would be, and for me that meant the thought of birthing a 12 pound baby at home. The thought of the tears from a baby that big just scared me to death. I knew deep in my heart that January 25th was my due date and I knew I didn’t want to go to far past that date, but was okay with it if I had. My first was 9lbs 5oz at 40weeks, and my second would have been 9lbs 2oz if she had stayed put for 3 more weeks. My husband knew of my dilemma of whether or not I should “wait” for the baby or to just give up and take my chances at the hospital. He was trying to leave it up to me but I really wanted someone else to make the decision for me. Being dilated to 7cm 90% effaced and at a -1 station (my birth assistant taught Joe about effacement, and we researched and learned how to check the baby’s station) was starting to make me worry about infections, presentation, and other non-essential worries. (I am a natural worrywart sometimes.) Day after day I started to wish I had a magic button that I could push to start the labor process. So do I go to the hospital or to just ride it out? I kept going back and forth on this for a week. On January 24th, while lying in bed with my husband, we made the decision to go to the hospital the next morning. I felt good about the decision, but nervous as well.

On the morning of the 25th we put things in motion as we geared up for our hospital visit. Joe went to work to get his store opened and employees set up while I phoned my doula, Sue Ellen, to meet us at the hospital and got my 2 older girls a sitter for the day. I packed my bags just in case they kept us. My best intentions were for them to possibly induce since I was so far dilated and effaced. However, my wish was for them to tell me everything was okay and for them to send me home. I was more nervous on how I would be treated for planning a home birth.

My husband soon picked me up and we went to the hospital. We went up to Labor and Delivery and stopped at the desk. Sometimes I wonder if the nurses behind the desk have half a brain. The nurse asked if she could help us as if we were there for a friend. Never mind the fact that I looked huge standing there at 9 months pregnant, and carrying a suitcase and other personal affects. We looked at my belly and said, “We are here to have a baby hopefully.” (DUH! Bad omen or what?!) They took us to a room and we started to get settled. I got into a gown and they strapped me to the stupid EFM machine. The nurse asked if we were in labor and I explained our situation on how we were planning a home birth and that I have been dilated to about a 6-7 (depending on “fingers”) and was about 80-90% and that after 3 weeks we were starting to get concerned with possible infections. She accepted our reasoning and checked me. (We were able to skirt around the whole not having a midwife issue and she never really probed us, luckily.) She found me to be at 6cm and in her words very “stretchy”. So now we wait for the on call doctor to show up to confirm this. The on call doctor, Dr. Layton, turned out to be the doctor who delivered Sariah, my first (via c-section). He was also the arrogant doctor who, when I went in for a prenatal check up, during that pregnancy, asked if I had any questions and I answered ‘yes’, he then continued to talk and then left the room. I turned to my husband at that point and asked him, “I did say I had a question, right?” Well evidently my husband had heard me but the doctor didn’t, couldn’t, or at least didn’t care enough to even listen.

So we wait for almost 2 hours. I was starting to get hungry and thirsty but you know L&D, no food or drink for the pregnant woman trying to sustain life. Joe and Sue Ellen (my doula and best friend who showed up earlier) were also hungry so they went to the cafeteria and got juice, yogurt, and a sandwich, which we all shared, being careful to not let the nurse catch us. With all this time on our hands we watched TV, the EFM, and just plain waited.

At one point I remembered that they keep the amnihooks in the drawers. I reached down to the drawer where the nurse had gotten the KY and sure enough the amnihooks were there too. I told my husband to take one and place it into our bag along with a couple of packets of KY. Heck we don’t have insurance I figured if I was going to pay through the nose for this and possibly get sent home I should have something to show for it. My husband was up for it and even raided the bassinet and grabbed an extra cord clamp, even though we already had 2 at home. Joe wasn’t opposed to trying an AROM on me, since we both agreed that if it didn’t work the first time that we wouldn’t try it again. (I know I may get some flaming for this but we felt it was a better option than the herbal stuff that we had been doing, since it can have toxic effects on the baby. AROM is a bit more “natural” than herbal drugs with unknown side effects, which I still tried, out of shear desperation as well.)

So now the doctor comes in with the ultrasound machine. We re-explain the situation and he begins his banter of how unsafe home births are, all the while checking my cervix. For some reason he came to the conclusion that I was only at 4cm but am very “stretchy”. I had to laugh at that. He either doesn’t know how to check a posterior cervix correctly or my body knew how evil this man was and was closing back up as tightly as it could to keep him away. LOL. So after the cervical check it was on to the ultrasound. This doctor obviously hated the fact that I was planning a home birth, and a HBAC at that! He kept pressing so hard he kept hurting me even after I was vocal about the pain. I kept saying that it hurt over and over, but he didn’t pay any attention. Joe and Sue kept giving me sympathetic looks and I just wanted to get up and smack this guy. When he was done taking “measurements”, (no external fundal measurements, and no external palpation either) the machine came to the conclusion that my baby weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 38weeks. The only thing he got right was the baby’s gestational age. Now comes the lecture, UGH!

So this doctor sits down and starts in on how “dangerous” VBACs are and, that uterine ruptures can be very serious. I stopped him right there and started to tell him flat out all the stats I knew about VBACs and he got PISSED OFF! He didn’t yell or start in on me but he got so annoyed that his body language screamed at all of us, along with his demeaning glare. He folded his arms and sat back in his chair and gave me the most evil look, as if to say ‘how dare you educate yourself in such things, I went to school for this and I know more than you.’ I never did finish my thoughts on the whole VBAC thing, I just shut up and tuned him out as best I could, literally trying not to laugh at the words coming out of his mouth. I could not believe the garbage that he was trying to spew onto me. It came down to the fact that he was not willing to induce me because I hadn’t seen a doctor for prenatals but he was willing to see me at his office the following week and then we could talk. However, in the end all of us (my best friend, husband, and I) agreed that he sounded as if he would have been willing to give me a c-section right then and there if I had just said the words. Could be why his surgical skills are so good. The c-section he performed on me before, I thought was done really well, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

So the lecture was over and he told us we could go home. I was happy because I did not want that arrogant bastard to even look at me again. Going to the hospital made me want a home birth even more. So the nurse and doctor left us and I wondered if I needed to sign any more papers to be discharged. I had my amnihook and an earful and I just wanted to leave. Sue Ellen told me to get dressed and just walk out, “It’s not like they’ll stop you, or keep you.” So we did, and no one even stopped to ask us a thing. We all headed for home, I joked to my husband about how much the amnihook was going to cost us and we discussed whether or not we would try to break my water or not. We decided to try and that if it didn’t work then we would just wait it out and that it wasn’t meant to be, pretty much like everything else we tried, and that he would come in his own time.

We got home and picked the girls up from our neighbors and got everyone settled. Around 4:30 we decided to get ready and try to break my water. Neither of us thought it would work, Joe wasn’t sure if he could feel the bag bulge or not in the earlier weeks, and by this point I had become so pessimistic that I just thought Mason would stay in there forever. We got ready and Joe made sure everything was ready for a safe AROM if it worked. Joe felt for Mason’s head and checked to make sure he was positioned low enough in the pelvis. Joe then checked around Mason’s head for any sign of a cord. None was found. He then attempted to snag the bag of water by placing his finger on Mason’s head and bring the hook as close to Mason’s head as he felt comfortable using his finger as a guide. He then started to bring the hook back out, and we both thought it didn’t work. So we decided to stop trying. To our amazement as Joe was slowly guiding the hook out I felt a little gush of fluid. I suddenly sat up a bit and asked if that was mucous or fluid that I just felt come out of me. He wasn’t sure, so he watched more closely as he completed the removal of the amnihook. Sure enough it was fluid. He did it! We were both shocked and now very excited. I knew that today would be the day now.

My water was broken at about 4:40pm I called my birth assistant (BA) and told her my water was broken. She told me she had a few errands to run but to note the time since we didn’t want to go over 24 to 48 hour since the risk of infection was now greater. I then called Sue Ellen to let them know things were going to happen tonight., now that my waters had been broken. I still hadn’t had a contraction yet but I knew that my water had to drain a bit more before things would start happening. So I put a chux pad on the rocking chair and a towel sat down and started to call family and friends to let them know things were happening.

I was happy and excited as well as scared. Scared because this was going to be a birth without an epidural and one that I would have to try and manage myself with the help of loved ones. I doubted my pain managing abilities and myself because I didn’t know what to expect. But still, for the most part I was on a “happy high”! I was going to finally have my baby before the night was over. But my joy soon turned to anger and frustration and not because of what you might think.

Between 6pm and 7pm I received a phone call from a friend’s husband who claims to have psychic abilities. He calls me and asks how I am doing and I said fine, and he then repeats his question, I again reply “fine, a little wet but fine.” He continues “Well, I heard how your water broke, I am here with a psychic friend of mine and we both feel you should go to the hospital right away. We both feel that you are going to hemorrhage and that you need to be at a hospital. Will you go to the hospital?”

I was silent and angry how dare he do this to me.

~ Earlier in the pregnancy I had asked him to confirm the fact that I was having a boy, since I had had a vision that Mason was next to join our family. He confirmed I was carrying a son but also told me that he “felt” that if I chose a home birth, that there would be complications with the cord being wrapped around Mason’s neck and that I would end up being transferred to the hospital. He also added that positive thinking and visualization could possibly change this “premonition”. So that put the first little seed of “fear” into my head, but I worked hard for four months on envisioning a safe easy birth for Mason and myself with no complications and no transfer. I prayed, visualized, and dreamt of a perfect uncomplicated birth. By September I no longer feared for my safety or the safety of my baby during birth. But “he” again replanted the seed of evil thoughts, which made me angry with him. Here he was preaching of positive thoughts for a positive outcome, and HE was the one planting the negative thoughts into my head to begin with. You don’t tell someone who is crossing an I-beam six stories in the air to NOT look down because eventually they will! ~

My husband could see and hear the distress and tone change in my voice as I coldly replied “I will have to talk to my husband first.” He was not happy about that comment. I finished the call and just felt angry. How dare he do this to me? I told my husband what was just exchanged over the phone and he too got angry. I called Sue Ellen and told her (she also knows this guy) what had just happened through my tears. She offered to call this guy back to try and figure out why he called and did that.

I decided to lie on my right side on the bed as a precaution since I still had some trepidation over “his” words. At about 7pm Sue Ellen called me back to tell me that this guy felt horrible about what he just did but that he would have felt even worse if he hadn’t said anything. He also admitted that he could have handled it better, which we all agreed on. While on the phone with Sue Ellen I got my first contraction, when the second contraction hit at 7:06pm I told Sue. Still thinking I would take a while she said she was heading over to her mothers which is close to us and to keep her updated. We hung up with her and called my birth assistant, she was leaving the grocery store with her husband and was going to go home and drop off groceries and then come right on over. I soon decided to have Joe check me again real quick before things got intense. I wanted the peace of mind in knowing there wasn’t a) blood and b) a prolapsed cord. (Told you I am a worrywart!) Joe saw and felt neither. Joe gave me words of encouragement and reminded me of the numerous times “this guy” had been extremely wrong in his other “predictions”. I couldn’t argue with that logic, and soon didn’t have time to think about “ bad things”.

I soon had to breathe through my contractions but nothing I couldn’t handle. I liked having the freedom of moving around. This was the first time I was able to really try other positions other than strapped to a bed. I tried kneeling on the floor for awhile while leaning on the bed, which felt good for a bit. However, it wasn’t long before I needed to start “running” to the bathroom for “relief” which was more like a balancing act as I waddled with either a chux or a Depends between my legs going back and forth from the bedroom to the bathroom. Soon the toilet was the most comfortable place to be since I was having many loose bowel movements already.

As many of you know once hard labor starts time slips away from you. Joe was soon running around like a mad man, he was downstairs checking on the girls making sure a movie was in the VCR, playing, to keep them occupied for a good 2 hours and on the phone with whoever called. I was starting to really vocalize more and more, and moaning through contractions, which never phased the girls. I was needing Joe to hold on to so I could transfer some of the pain on to him, since he was half of what caused this pregnancy. I also needed him to help me focus through contractions as they were getting more intense and lasting longer (we never did time them). All this happened while sitting on the toilet waiting for either Sue Ellen or my BA to get there.

Whenever Joe left me to help the girls out, I was left to sit and stare at the tub, which just kept calling to me. I just kept thinking about all of the descriptive words other women would use to describe how good they felt when they labored in the water. After an intense contraction I called for Joe. As he came into the bathroom with the phone in hand talking to Sue Ellen, I told him to fill the tub, but I grabbed onto him and buried my face into his belly and vocalized really loud before he could. Sue heard me and realized she needed to get here ASAP.

The tub was soon filled and I hopped in and boy did the water feel good. The buoyancy really did help with the pain. Minutes later, sometime after 8pm I heard the door and Joe answered it. It was Sue and I was vocalizing through another contraction. Joe and Sue settled her 3 kids and ours and ran upstairs to help me out. I was gradually tuning things out around me but was still able to talk in between contractions. As each new wave of contractions hit me I kept wishing for an epidural, but I knew I was close. Sue Ellen reminded me that the water was my epidural and started to help coach me through some intense contractions. Sue Ellen wasn’t by my side too long before her 1year old daughter started to cry. Sue told me that Cass hadn’t eaten yet and was really tired, then she asked if I care that she nursed Cass. I of course didn’t care. So she went and grabbed Cass and sat back down beside me with a nursling and picked up where she left off, rubbing my belly and giving me positive affirmations. Sue instructed Joe to pour water onto my belly with a cup because it had helped her during her labor. When Joe started to pour water onto my belly it felt as if he was washing the pain away. It felt so much better.

Somewhere close to possibly 8:30pm I announced I felt pushy. Sue didn’t believe me at first since she thought I looked in control. Also at that time another knock came from our door, but this time no one moved from my side. Sue’s son had been instructed to open the door. It was my birth assistant. She came right upstairs to the bathroom, got her stuff opened and jumped right in as she asked to hear the baby with the Doppler. I lifted my belly out of the water slightly and she found the heartbeat right away, which sounded nice and strong. As the contractions came I felt the urge to bare down even more and my whole demeanor changed as I worked with what my body was telling me to do. It felt so good to push. It actually didn’t hurt anymore when I pushed with the contractions, it just felt right.

My ear suddenly tuned into the side conversation about my positioning. My birth assistant noticed that I would probably need to get out of the tub because my legs weren’t open wide enough. I had already figured this out before they had said anything but just hadn’t repositioned myself. As I was pushing I could see them get some chux pads ready on the bathroom floor so they could try to move me. I said “NO” in between a contraction, and pulled my left leg out of the tub and draped it over the edge while I lifted my right leg as far back as I could put it all the while balancing on my hands to keep my tailbone off the hard tub surface. It was quite a balancing act.. So as soon as I was repositioned which only took a matter of seconds I pushed again. With this push came the feeling of the head coming out from the pubic bone and a sudden bulging feeling, as I felt Mason’s head fill the birth canal. I soon felt a tingling sensation that I assumed was the “ring of fire” I had heard so much about. Trying to keep everyone up to date with my status I announced the “ring of fire” sensation under my breath while I was pushing. (The “ring of fire” really didn’t burn for me it just kind of tingle, itched.)

“I see Mason’s head!” and “Mason has hair!” Were some uttered words that I briefly caught but didn’t fully digest. I soon heard someone tell my husband to support my perineum and to massage it. I felt Joe down there doing something, and it really irritated me, but I was too into pushing to even care to say anything. I soon heard the words “his head is out” I reached down and felt this massive head with hair bulging from between my legs. What an awesome thing to feel! With this new sense of “connection” to my son I was able to finally take a breath and relax a little when things started to go a little awry.

My birth assistant checked for a cord and found one and pulled it over his head with ease. Joe and the BA soon noticed there wasn’t enough water in the tub to keep Mason’s head emerged. Then they noticed what looked like a hand up by Mason’s head while Mason was turning. As Joe reached for the “hand” it was soon realized that it was the cord. Now Mason’s face soon hit the air and he took his first breath. Noticing this the BA unplugged the tub, but it wasn’t draining fast enough. Mason’s head ended up back in the water as my husband saw bubbles come from Mason’s nose, all the while I am pushing hard not really knowing what was happening. As soon as the birth assistant could get a good hold she pulled Mason from my body and put him right on my chest. A towel was thrown onto us and we heard him cry right away for but a second. We rubbed and coaxed him to do it again but louder and he did. I could not believe I had him in my arms. He was healthy and crying and pinked up right away. He was covered in vernix and his cord look big and healthy. Mason was gorgeous. I just sat in the draining tub in awe of the miracle that just occurred. I did it! I did all this in about 10 minutes, too!

Sitting in the tub admiring my new miracle, I realized that no pictures or video was taken of the birth. My husband ran and grabbed the video camera and the camera from the bedroom where we had planned to birth; handed the video camera to Sue Ellen and they both started to take pictures. Joe also ran downstairs and brought Sariah (3) and Rachel (2) in to meet their new brother. Sariah didn’t like having so many people in the bathroom, so she only peeked in and quickly went back to her movie. Rachel was excited to see mommy holding a baby and wanted to kiss him right away. Joe had to coax her back down stairs while we “finished”. Soon the cord had stopped pulsing and it was time to cut the cord. Joe cut the cord and Mason was freed. Soon after I handed Mason off to his Dad as I got up to squat in the tub to birth the placenta. It came out with one push and was surprised by the pain I had when passing it, which led me to believe I had torn. I was wiped down and moved into the bedroom where I sat with Mason in the rocking chair for our first nursing session. He latched on right away too. We soon started calling family and friends about Mason’s arrival. Many were relieved that things went so smoothly, since so many feared for our safety. (There is just no arguing with people when they aren’t ready to hear the truth. Sometimes you just have to show them and be an example before they are curious enough to find the truth.)

After some time passed I handed Mason back to his daddy and moved back into the bathroom to shower off. I then moved back into the bedroom to be checked for tears. For some reason I knew I tore, and I blamed myself for not being in more control of my pushing. I ended up with 3 tears, one on each labia and one on my perineum. The labia tears were decided upon as “skid marks” and would heal fine on their own but that the perineum tear would need stitches. My birth assistant called one of her midwife friends and asked her to come and stitch me up. I ended up with 3 very painful stitches. The midwife and my birth assistant soon packed up and left us to bask in our new family.

Sue Ellen, Joe and I sat in the bedroom reliving the birth from each other’s perspectives. Sue noted the energy she felt from my belly, when during one of the contractions/pushes Mason started to descend. Joe recalled the panic he felt when he saw bubbles come from Mason’s nose. I reiterated the shock I felt on how fast the whole birth experience was and how the pain wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. As we let the day’s experience envelope us we soon became tired. Sue Ellen packed up her sleeping children and returned to her family close to 1am.

Alone at last! Joe gathered Sariah and Rachel so they could finally get a closer look at their new brother. Sariah still wasn’t sure of this new baby mom was holding while Rachel wanted to hug his head off, as we continually pried them apart. In order to get Sariah to understand a little better who this new baby was, we decided to take out her favorite pregnancy book so she could relate to the pictures. It worked. She soon warmed up to her new brother and wanted to hold him. Soon Joe put the girls to bed and we cuddled for the first time together with Mason on the outside rather than in between us. We could hardly believe we were finally a family of 5. We finally had the son we had been waiting so long for, from the moment Mason revealed his spirit to me before we even conceived, to the moment his body and spirit merged as one; he was Loved and Cherished.

I was finally able to understand how hard Satan works to make a peaceful loving birth environment one that is cold and filled with hatred. As the next day’s sun started to rise, I cuddled Mason and reminisced of the previous day’s events. My thoughts kept drifting towards that one phone call that could have changed everything. I soon realized that nothing this guy predicted even came true. An epiphany for me was soon reached as I realized that even if he was given this information by some sort of spirit, that I now knew it was not from a friendly spirit. I truly felt that Satan was trying to work through him to get me to go to the hospital. I know in my heart that if I had listen to this “evil” that I would have been in more danger at the hospital than where I was. Pitocin might have been used and I probably would have ruptured. The doctors may have panicked when they saw the cord crimped, causing them to cut Mason’s cord too soon ending his oxygen and blood supply, thus causing more interventions with intibation and possible NICU crap, as well as many other possibilities.

I am grateful for the Spirit that guided me to listen to my own instincts. I am also grateful for my husband who was by my side encouraging me every step of the way to do what I felt the most comfortable with, who supported my decisions, and who even took the time to learn right along with me when we wanted to learn of something new. Thank you Joseph, and I Love You!

Mason Nicholas Morales
Born: January 25, 2002
At: 8:40pm, in the upstairs family bathtub, at home into a very loving environment and hands.
Weight: 9lbs. 8oz.
Length: 21.5 in

Siblings:
Sariah Anne age 3
Born December 30, 1998 Via C-section for breech presentation

Rachel Elizabeth age 2
Born February 3, 2000 Via hospital VBAC in 3 hours with an epidural