Rance
First, my postcard from Turin to you...
" I'm having a nice time and wish you were her ! "
LOL

Now, what would I do if I was given control of Fox Studios for one year?

Having honed my directing skills at some famous school of the arts in the big apple and continued my elucidation at probably the oldest ivy league institution in America, I would combine both efforts into a symbionic whole.

After perusing the current mega-trends in the motion picture industry, I would seek to emulate the successes of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ". There you have a built in audience of one billion souls! Pretty good for a start, don't you think? Who would have ever conceived such an idea so early in the script, thus ensuring profitability at the get go? That pretty much sets (ie. limits) the budget as well., although it would be advisable to contain expenses as Mel did. Why go overboard, when it only chews up profits?

Next you need a boffo "Christian" script. In this case you need a scriptwriter to transcribe Jackie Pullinger's "Chasing the Dragon". A timeless piece that will keep on ticking ($$$$) like the Eveready rabbit. This is a tale of a young English girl who leaves London aboard a freighter with absolutely no money and ends up in the infamous drug infested Walled City of Kowloon. She becomes the unsung Mother Theresa of Hong Kong saving thousands of users and single handedly cleaning up the slum in which these people survived.

Who can you get to play the lead? She has to be young 16-17-18, or at least pass for that age. Olsen twins??? Nah, but keep them online though. You need someone with a built in following who can draw people to the theaters. I know...Britney Spears! She needs a conversion experience and this would be the ideal vehicle for her reincarnation in the entertainment business. What better person than someone who has been there done that? She started off her Grammy acceptance by thanking God. But nowadays she is a more carnal creature. Deliverance would suit her to a "T".

Well, it's obvious that "Chasing the Dragon" would be a monster blockbuster hit, and probably a cult (excuse the nomenclature) classic as well.

In the meantime, I would be perfecting my ivy league intelligencia to the sale of Fox Studios to some unnamed buyer (other than Sony). I would time it so that the money from both enterprises starts rolling in together, and blissfully escape to B.A. with the loot.

Hasta la vista, baby!
David

Fair, but I think Jolie was miscast as FDR. Whereas one of my aunts married one of the Roosevelt boys, I thought it only fitting I should respond with: REWRITE!!!
My qualifications for this endeavor are attendance at a famous school of the arts in the Big Apple and subsequently one of the oldest ivy league institutions that Bill Gates couldn't even finish.

In his inaugural address FDR conveyed, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Therefore I have trashed the old title and substituted: "FEAR THIS!!"
In the opening scene I would have Franklin (Arnold, the ex-Terminator) chasing Eleanor (Angelina Jolie) around the pool. Both are NAKED! This would ensure long line-ups at the beginning of each showing, because no one would want to miss the opening scene. They end up in the pool where Arnold, enthralled by her floating boobies, corners Angelina and gets his pound of flesh. Arnold would have to master some pretty difficult scenes, because I would require that he grope every 'fem' (male or female) within 10 feet. I would also have a cameo role for Monica Lewinsky as Mother Teresa (I can have whoever I want in my movie!) who 'prays' for Arnold on her knees. At least that's what it looks like anyway.
In one of the pool scenes (there will be many), Arnold's libido is especially hot and he dives on Angelina. In self defense she pulls out a knife and cuts off his dingdong. Blood spurts everywhere. Even worse than the Passion of Christ. The pool turns red and the Terminator sinks. Angelina assumes the Presidency.

Hitler would be portrayed by Mel Gibson which undoubtedly would be quite a challenge for him. Only in this version Germany would win! It wouldn't be that bad because gasoline would still be 39c a gallon and everybody would be driving Mercedes or BMWs. A few odd sorts would have to suffer in VWs and Audis. There would have been no Cold War or arms race as a result, Germany would have overrun Russia. There would have been no Middle East conflict either, as Germany would own that too. Israel would not exist and there would be no Palestinian conflict either. There would be no terrorism as the SS and Gestapo would have quashed any detractors long ago.
How could Germany possibly win? Since they developed the Bomb, I say let them use it on D-Day. Then proceed to nuke London and New York. In the latter case they would have prevented 9/11 from ever happening. Angelina calls for a truce and lures Mel into the pool. He sees what he likes and goes for it. He is scouraged with an ice pick even worse than Jesus by Angelina who assumes the role of Furer (dressed in black leotards with a whip and chains). She appoints 'Hermaine' Goebels (J-Lo) in charge of the Gestapo and SS. J-Lo falls madly in love with Angelina and they make out in the pool.

I like your Ninja connection so I kept it in the script. Meanwhile the Japanese Ninja attack Pearl Harbor then push for the West Coast. Angelina agrees to a truce with Emperor Tojo (Hervey Villachaisse, is he still around? if not we could enlist Mini-Me) in Bismarck, North Dakota. She lures him into the pool and into the deep end where she is treading water. "How long can you tread water?", she asks. He paddles out to reach her but drowns. Angelina crowns herself Emperor.

For comic relief we could hire Britney Spears as Marlena Dietrich on her 'G-Zone Tour'.
Anyway riots ensue in Los Angeles and Angelina is forced to nuke the scum. Therefore fortunately this movie is never made because Hollywood goes up in a puff of smoke. Ta-Ta, dearie.