Title: The Jones Complex
Author: MajelB
E-Mail: Majelitab@lycos.com
Status: Complete
Category: humor, thoughts,
a/a
Spoilers: none
Season: before 6
Rating: G
Content Warnings: none
Summary: The thoughts of
our favorite archaeologist as he approaches a potentially hazardous artifact.
Author’s Notes: Just a (hopefully) funny little tidbit I wrote to get my mind off Old Debts. Hope you like it!
There it was. God, it was gorgeous!
It was the Holy Grail, the Ark of the Covenant, the Book of the Dead. He wanted
it. Really, really, bad.
The image that sprang to
his mind was one of Homer Simpson drooling over a donut.
Hmmmmm… artifact.
The next image to assault
his brain, as he reached out his hand to touch it, was of Indiana Jones, running
for his life, from a two-ton, huge-ass rock. Jack had been kind enough to
perform the mental voice-over with his obnoxiously overdone ‘Dammit, Daniel!
Don’t touch it!’
The enraptured
archaeologist shook it off, ignoring the echo of his friend’s words of
warning. What did Jack know about this kinda stuff anyway?
While he would fervently
deny it, if anyone ever asked, there was a tiny little piece of him that saw Dr.
Jones’ infamous archeological exploits as the real reason why he had
settled on archeology. There was that eensy-weeny-teeny-tiny little shred of him
that lived for moments like these.
All he could hear in the
ageless cavern was his own heartbeat. All he could see was the craved relic
before him. All he had to do, was reach out… just one inch more and his
fingers would touch it.
Dammit, Daniel! Jeez,
Jack was annoying even when he wasn’t around. He quickly silenced his inner
conscience.
Almost there! So close!
Almost there! His pulse quickened as the adrenaline pumped through him in
seemingly limitless supply.
“Dammit, Daniel! What
the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
For just a second, he
ignored the voice, dismissing it as the nagging Jack in his head, but when his
clouded brain finally registered that the sound was, in fact, authentic, he
snatched his hand away from the pedestal as though it were the proverbial cookie
jar.
He turned around, very
slowly, head hanging like that of a child being punished for doing something he
had been told, time and time again, was wrong.
“But Ja-ack!”
“Don’t ‘but Jack’
me, Jackson. You know better! C’mon, Carter and Teal’c are waiting for us by
the ‘Gate.”
Dejected, he slinked down
the steps of the dais where the pedestal was to follow his friend. Sadly, he
looked back at the artifact he was leaving behind.
There was a gaping hole in
the stone ceiling of the cavern where sunlight filtered into the large room.
Through it, a little brown bird came flying down. It circled the cavern once,
then proceeded to perch gently upon the delicate relic on the pedestal.
The instant the little
bird’s talons touched it, a loud grinding noise filled the chamber and a huge
grate that had been suspended from the ceiling by huge, heavy chains was
suddenly falling at breakneck speed.
The bottom was adorned
with very large, very sharp spikes, interrupted only by a small gap in the
middle of the grate which was positioned perfectly over the pedestal.
The grate hit the stone
dais with an ear-splitting crash. The bird was still chirping happily away atop
the still intact artifact. Daniel blanched as Jack turned around to see what all
the noise was about.
“See! I told you
so! Maybe now, you’ll start listening to me, for cryin’ out loud!”
Jack grabbed the shoulder of Daniel’s jacket and dragged him out of the chamber as he did a pretty fair impression of a gasping fish, pointing at the dais in disbelief. Maybe he should listen to Jack more often…
The End