Title: The Story Of The Sweater

Author: Debi C

Feedback: dcole6@satx.rr.com

Author Website: Gen: crashtomcat.bravepages.com/debic/debicindex.html

Slash: angelfire.com/az3/planb/newplan.htm

Rating: G

Pairing: None

Category: Gen, Meridian and Beyond, Angst, Friendship, POV, Challenge.

Date: April 18, 2003

Status: Complete

Season/Spoilers: Season 5, Meridian; Season 6, Abyss

Archive: TheBoy, The Cartouche, The Meaning of Life, Incoming Wormhole, Anyone else please ask.

Synopsis: What the sweater that Daniel wore in Abyss meant to them. (a story of promise)

Notes: Thanks to my ever able alpha and beta readers CelticAngel, Madeline and Devra. (Psst, Devra also suggested the second part to the story and it works very well...at any rate it made it longer.)

Warnings: HANKY WARNING!! THIS IS NOT A FIXIT! But, it has hope. Major Character death mentioned. Some Language. Intense situations.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Sci Fi Channel, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I do not own the characters and indeed am only playing with them for a little while. Jack and Daniel belong to each other. I am not making any money from this and I'm still paying for everything I own so there's very little point in suing me. No copyright infringement whatsoever is intended. The story is for entertainment purposes only. At least I hope it's entertaining. The original characters, situations and story are mine. Please check with me first if you want to archive or link to this story.

The Sweater - Jack

I found it when I was cleaning out my guest room closet. It was early spring, and I was putting my heavy winter clothes up for the year, when a brown cardboard box fell off of the top shelf and almost hit me in the head. Typical.

I managed to dodge the carton, and as it landed in front of me, the tape broke and clothing tumbled out at my feet. The first thing I see is that damned cream colored sweater.

For some reason, I was stunned. If you had handed me a stack of bibles to swear on, I would have guaranteed he had it with him. But of course, thinking about it, he couldn't have it…cause, well, he left his clothes and bandages behind when he, uh, went away. He'd been wearing his fatigues until the infirmary, and then well, all that he could wear was limited to the hospital gown and just…bandages, all encompassing bandages. When he left us the material was still there on the hospital bed. Glowy types don't need clothes. I mean, there's nothing there to hang 'em on.

I had given him the sweater on our first Christmas as a team. He was still getting his clothes together after Abydos, and he hadn't seen fit to spend the money on a really good, warm, woolen sweater. I'd gotten it for him at one of those pricey men's clothing stores in the mall. It was natural, undyed, angora wool, and I'd known he had probably never had anything like it before from foster parents or because of bills from his education. He had been thrilled, like a little kid, when he'd unwrapped it. It was almost embarrassing; he was so pleased with it. In fact, I had to talk him into wearing it at first. It was too good, he'd said, he'd ruin it. But finally, with Carter's help we had convinced him to actually wear the damned thing. It had fit him perfectly as if a loving grandmother had knitted it for him, and the creamy ivory color had suited him exactly. The sweater had become his favorite piece of clothing. He wore it only on special occasions.

After he uh, ascended, I had to go and pack up his place of all his personal stuff. I took his journals, his wedding cup, Sha'uri's picture, and what few things he had left from his parents. Just a pitiful little collection of his personal stuff and his life's memorabilia. I had found the sweater carefully folded and lying safe in his dresser drawer. I put it in the box with his other clothes, and then I'd brought it all home with me to keep safe...safe from the NID, safe from Government red tape and safe in my memory...because I couldn't stand the idea of it not being there for me anymore.

But, and here comes the rub, when he came to stay with me at Ball's place, he was wearing, or at least looking like he was wearing, this damned cream colored sweater and a pair of color co-coordinated chinos. And now, here it was, lying on the floor on my toes. It was…a little unnerving to say the least.

I had been dead, poisoned the first time by acid, and brought back to life by a Gould sarcophagus when he had appeared to me in my gravity cell. He stayed with me, talked to me, offered to save me, make me glowy like him. I appreciated the thought, but I couldn't do it…not yet. I finally asked him to kill me and he wouldn't do that…said he couldn't. Then, they came for me again. But when I got back he was gone, him and his favorite sweater.

I had given up then, I knew that Ball had me…I couldn't go on anymore. Then, like Alice's Cheshire Cat, there he was again…'hold on' he said, 'help is coming', 'here's your chance', 'you can do it'. And it did and I did.

Later I found out that Carter, Teal'c, and Jonas had all had an epiphany…a great idea. They'd had the same great idea at the same time and all went to see Hammond simultaneously. Give information to Yu, let him do the work, then Jack could escape on his own and make it to the gate. A simple plan for a simple man, and it had worked. Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Oh, I had to spend some time in Doc Fraiser's clutches for a little thing called Sarcophagus Addiction, but then it was a good trade wasn't it? Safe at home again. After all, it's not like I didn't have any experience with addiction, withdrawal, cold-turkey... and deliverance.

I did get to see him one more time; he stopped by on his way home to the Chinese Shan-gra-la temple or wherever he hangs his boonie hat now a days. I invited him for Christmas or Groundhog's Day or something equally eloquent. He said he couldn't come. Then, he had to go. But...he was wearing this damned sweater, I know he was, I saw him in it myself. The soft angora wool that fit him like a loving grandmother had knitted it for him, the color that suited him so well, the one I had given him for Christmas those long six years ago.

I picked it up from where it lay on the floor at my feet and...I raised it to my face. The wool was just as soft as it had been, the color just as pure, and it smelled of Daniel.

The Sweater - Daniel

I knew in my soul that something was wrong. Something had gone terribly wrong. General Hammond would call it `busted luck'. Jack's had been following that path for a while now. I knew he blamed himself for my leaving. But it honestly wasn't anything he had done or not done that caused it. And it wasn't Jonas either. He'd been scared to death too. Jonas had no experience or training to deal with the situation. I had known what to do, so I did it. That was all...I couldn't let a world and my friends die. I had been choiceless.

Then, Oma Desala came to me and the miracle of miracles happened, and I had a choice again, and I took it. It wasn't what I wanted, but it worked and I'm getting stronger and learning more and more. Not a bad situation to be in. Not like Jack's.

l had known he was ill with the disease they had been exposed to in the Antarctic. I'd kept my ear to the ground and was ready to offer him ascension to him, but Sam and Janet had the situation sort of in hand. Then, just when I was ready to visit him, Jack accepted a Tok'ra symbiote. I think he did anyway. Sam was sure that he did, so I backed off. Oma had her eye on me, and I really didn't want to act precipitously at this point in my career as an ascended one.

What a mistake! The Tok'ra was NOT true to his or his people's word. He had a hidden agenda of the worst kind, the kind that endangered my friend. Not only did he get Jack caught, but he abandoned him to Ba'al.

By the time I had gotten there Jack had already been tortured. He was a mess, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I knew for him to recognize me as me, his buddy Daniel, he'd have to have some pretty recognizable proof. So I had to do this right the first time.

Finally, I realized the one familiar item that he would recognize had to be the sweater he'd given to me for Christmas on my first year back from Abydos. I had loved that sweater. I knew it had been expensive because it was virgin angora wool, hand knit, and fit like it had been made for me. I was afraid to wear it at first, certain I'd spill coffee on it or snag it on something at work. But Jack had insisted on it, saying that he hadn't bought the damned thing for it to sit in a box in a closet and the moths eat it.

So, I'd wear it to his house, our dinners out, and movies. His eyes would light up, and I'd get that grin of his and he'd say, "Well, Danny you decided to take it out for a spin, did ya?" And I'd say something equally silly like it was lonely for him or it wanted some fresh air. And we'd laugh, and Sam would pat me on the back, and Teal'c would nod his nod at me.

But now, my beloved sweater would serve a much more important purpose. It would help Jack know it was the real me, his Daniel, not a hallucination or a trick by the Goa'uld to hurt him even more. It would serve as a symbol, a token of our deep abiding friendship and our emotional bond.

Admittedly he was still suspicious. The man threw a shoe through me for pity's sake, but once he knew it was me he was all right with the idea. Even asked if the glowy thing was working out for me. Of course I said it was. I couldn't tell him then how much I missed him and Sam and Teal'c. He didn't need to hear that I was restless and unsatisfied; he needed to hear that everything was okay, and he didn't have to worry about his little archaeologist lost anymore. He also needed to hear that I was going to help him by clapping my hands, striking everyone with lightening bolts, and splitting the dungeon open like an eggshell. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible.

I tried to explain the non-interference code that Oma held us to, but he didn't understand. I could only stand and watch while my best and dearest friend suffered the agonies of the damned. I offered him ascension but he turned me down flat. Didn't want, need or deserve it. Jack, when will you learn just who and what you are?

Then, later he asked me to help him die. I wouldn't do that, I couldn't. Jack has so much to live for, ascended or un-ascended. His spirit is too precious to waste like that. Then, I had an idea. I wouldn't kill him; I couldn't help him, but SG-1 could. They knew where he was by now, but I knew Hammond wouldn't, couldn't let them mount a rescue attempt. But, if Jack could meet them half way, they could go the rest of the way. So, I had to use the Goa'uld against themselves, use their hunger for power and their suspicious natures against them. And I knew just the Goa'uld for the job. My old acquaintance, Yu.

Well, it had all worked just like clockwork. Yu came, Jack escaped, and the SGC came through again. Jack was safe in the infirmary, and I could go back to my new place in the galaxy. But, it was so hard to leave. I had to say goodbye, and he had to know it was me.

So, I appeared to him in my sweater again. My favorite sweater that had been one of his first gifts to me so long ago. The one that made me understand that Jack was so much more than just a good friend. The one that made me know that he always wanted me to feel warm, comfortable, safe and loved. The one thing that I owned above all others that said family. The one thing that said Jack.

finish