Title: Fine

Author: Kiva

Date: 18th April '03

Feedback: kiva31@yahoo.com

Rating: G

Category: Angst, a lil' H/C I suppose and some friendship.

Status: Finished

Season/Spoilers: Set after Legacy, so spoilers for that and Sam's promotion in rank.

Archive: Tok'Ra Flats, anyone else wants it, just ask.

Synopsis: The after effects of the events that happened in Legacy still linger...will Daniel come to terms with them?

Notes: Happy Birthday Devra! This is for you...hope you enjoy it. Actually the first SG1 story I ever started, I abandoned it to focus on other things. Well, when I decided to write a BDay fic for Devra, I thought, "Legacy...ooh, angst!" So, I found it, finished it, and here it is! Hope you like it :-)

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer; The characters of Stargate SG1 are not mine, nor do I lay any claims on them. This is for entertainment purposes only, and done in the hopes of shutting the damn plot bunnies up.

"Off-world activation! Repeat - Off-world activation!"

The sudden warning blasted through the underground base, the announcement spurring personnel into action, and almost drowning out the sound of numerous booted feet pounding down the corridors. As the running soldiers entered the gate room, taking up defensive positions as they shouldered their weapons, the titanium strengthened iris that was attached to the Earth Stargate spun securely into place.

General George Hammond, commander of the base, descended the stairs leading to the Control room slowly, nearly three years of such 'gate activations having blunted the initial surge of adrenaline that flooded his system whenever the warning klaxon went off.

"Receiving IDC, sir," a technician reported, typing in a set of commands to the computer. After the computer had compared all of the codes in the system and come up with a match, he announced the identity of the incoming travelers. "It's SG1, sir. Right on schedule."

Hammond nodded, adding relief to the feeling of satisfaction he experienced whenever he thought of his leading team. Knowing that the group everyone had doubted at the beginning of the SGC endeavor had managed to function successfully, as they should. As a *team.*

But while that glow of pride he had for the people under his command warmed his chest, he was forced to admit - at least, to himself - that that hadn't been the case for a few days now. Not since a rather unfortunate encounter with a piece of alien technology...one that had sparked off a chain of events so strange, that he still hadn't come to grips with it fully. Now he wasn't as sure about their ability to act like a team...not with all the unresolved thoughts and feelings still floating between them.

He still kept tight hold of that feeling of satisfaction, however. That stemmed from knowing that, even while not completely at rest with the events of the past week, SG1 had come through another mission - if not unscathed, then *whole.*

"Open the iris," he ordered, his eyes fixed on the Stargate as the iris retracted, revealing the shimmering blue of the event horizon.

With the usual sound effects that accompanied matter and atoms being re-integrated, Hammond watched as his flagship team appeared, one after the other.

Seeing that all four were present, and each apparently even walking under their own steam - which was a bit of an accomplishment for the team labeled the SGC's biggest trouble magnets - Hammond reached for the microphone. "Welcome back, SG1. Report to the infirmary for post mission examinations."

Colonel Jack O'Neill raised one hand in a sort of sloppy salute, before he and his team handed their weapons over to the waiting hands of several SFs. When all arms were out of their possession, O'Neill turned to the others.

"'Kay, kids. Time to go be poked...prodded...*examined.*"

He said the last as if it were some sort of disease, layering the word with the same distaste he reserved for words like *Maybourne,* and newly promoted Major Samantha Carter smiled, knowing how much her commanding officer hated the post mission exams...in his book she knew, only reports were to be dreaded more. Biting down on her bottom lip when the small smile threatened to turn into an amused grin at the face her CO had pulled, Sam checked the other's reactions.

Teal'c had merely raised an eyebrow, but Sam would swear there was an added twinkle in his dark eyes. Turning to Daniel, however, caused the smile to dissolve, as Sam felt a familiar pang of guilt - familiar, because she experienced it almost every time she looked at Daniel recently. After seeing him in that room at Mental Health, crying, afraid - she shook off the images as she fell into step with the rest of her team, their destination the infirmary. Dodging past an airman who suddenly gave the team a wide berth for some unknown reason, Carter allowed the voice of her CO as he baited - or *tried* to bait - Teal'c, to wash over her, and fade into the background, as she thought back to her friend's behavior of late.

Even though everyone had recovered, things still weren't back to normal. Daniel had claimed not to blame anyone for what had happened, insisting that it *was* a logical conclusion to make, given the evidence...but if that were true, why were things still so strained between everyone? Janet had been scarce around SG1 since her part in the wrong diagnosis of Daniel's condition. Teal'c had been even *more* stone faced than usual. The Colonel had been over compensating a little with his humor, and Daniel...Daniel was practically a ghost.

Barely seen in the commissary in the short time since their mission to the planet where they had picked up Ma'chello's invention, he looked as if he could do with a decent meal. When he wasn't holed up in his office doing who-knew-what behind his closed doors, he was rarely around base - a fact that was suspect in itself, as Daniel practically lived there, despite his apartment. The only time Sam had managed to catch him for more than a few minutes at a time had been the briefing for the mission they had just completed. He'd even managed to keep to himself off world, constantly writing in his journal if he wasn't staring into space, lost in his own thoughts. They had regained a little ground when they had gathered at the DHD for the wormhole home, but it hadn't lasted. He was pale and tired, something she knew she was not the only one to have noticed - hence the Colonel over doing it with the jokes, trying in his own way to bring Daniel back out of his shell.

Like she'd mused previously, it had almost seemed to be working, too - he'd actually joined them in conversation while waiting for the Stargate to finish dialing the address - until the comment made by the Colonel in the 'gate room a moment ago. At the mention of the mandatory post mission exams, Sam had watched as what little animation Daniel had gained while off world, drained away, returning him to his still and silent self.

Sam thought she could almost understand what had caused his rapid change. The first few missions after Jolinar had possessed her body, Sam had almost constantly feared the exams, the MRIs...had been scared in case it showed something...such as a Goa'uld symbiote, still inside, still waiting to control her, to use her body to hurt her friends. She'd even worried about the rest of the team, wondering if she'd know if they had been taken as a host. Even though the logical, ordered portion of her brain had told her how unlikely that was, the emotional part that had been so deeply affected by becoming a virtual prisoner in her own body - even though Jolinar had been Tok'Ra - had been terribly afraid that it would happen again. For a while, every examination had become an endurance test, the fear and worry only fading when she walked out of the infirmary with a clean bill of health. After Daniel's traumatic experience of being falsely diagnosed as Schizophrenic, she could understand his trepidation, empathize with his anxiousness.

Unconsciously squaring her shoulders at a perceived threat to her friend, Sam made a vow. She *was* going to help Daniel through this, just as he would - and had - her. Whether the self reliant archaeologist liked it or not.

~~~~~~

"Well, Colonel, everything looks fine," Doctor Fraiser reported. "No injuries, no foreign substances - "

"Ah, no infirmary time," Jack happily finished for her.

"Right. Now, I suggest a shower Colonel - for you *and* your team." O'Neill frowned, before raising an eyebrow.

"Are you trying to tell me something, Doc?"

"I think she *is* telling you something, Colonel," General Hammond put in, startling Fraiser; who, with her back to the door, hadn't seen him enter.

"General," she greeted him, moving so that she more or less faced them both.

"Doctor," Hammond nodded. "How are our people?"

"Just fine, sir. No contaminants -well, unless you include that rather...noxious odor, sir."

Jack looked vaguely indignant. "Hey, how were we to know that those little...monkey things...that were hangin' from the trees were PX - whatever's version of skunk."

Fraiser tried to smother a smile, and sensed the General do the same.

"Alright, Colonel. Debriefing is in one hour - I trust you'll use the time wisely." Hammond could see the Colonel trying to come up with a response, but for once, his usual brand of witty comebacks seemed to have deserted him. Then the twinkle in his dark eyes brightened, and Hammond realized that of *course* it hadn't.

"Fine," he sighed, moving off to round up his teammates. "I mean, a guy helps save the whole planet a few times, and people start treating him like a leper just 'cause of a little bad smell - "

Fraiser and Hammond finally gave into their amusement, sharing a smile as they watched O'Neill sidle up to Daniel Jackson, as the archaeologist stood away from the bed he'd been leaning against. But one look at Daniel's pale face made Janet's smile disappear. The thought of what had almost happened still made Janet's heart hurt. That Daniel had nearly been condemned to a life of hallucinations - both auditory and visual - to fear and paranoia, all of which, medication couldn't touch. She had been so glad when she was proved wrong - so pleased to see him standing there, lucid, calm, back to normal - that she hadn't thought about the repercussions, not then.

Not until later, when satisfied with Teal'c's continuing recovery, she had asked to do one final check over of Daniel. She had watched as his color drained, seen the panic flare in his blue eyes. Janet knew the cause, too. Knew that he was scared that it maybe it wasn't over...that maybe, when she checked his Dopamine levels one last time, that she would find them elevated, just like before and that she would have him admitted to Mental Health again.

But in the instant that it had taken Janet to realize what was going through his head, he had shut down. His eyes had turned cold, becoming devoid of all of the emotions that characterized the Daniel Jackson they knew. He had submitted to her tests, yielded to her advice about how to deal with the side effects of the medication he'd been given since his 'break down'...but he did it all without the vital essence that was inherent to Daniel. No embarrassed smiles, no shy looks, no talking...just silence. As far as she knew, that's what he'd been like ever since.

Now as she watched him standing with the Colonel and Sam, Teal'c a silent but listening bystander, Janet wondered if he would ever get it back - that spark, that spirit that had carried him through so much.

"He will bounce back, Doctor," Hammond drawled quietly, his gaze on SG1 as well. "It might take him a little longer - but he will bounce back."

Fraiser nodded, not really surprised that the General seemed to have read her mind. Knowing their troops was one of the signs of a good commander, and George Hammond was one of the best.

"Yes sir," was all the answer she gave. Janet hoped that would be true - but she had seen the look on Daniel's face during the post mission exam. As this was the first mission since their run in with the little buggers that had caused this mess, everyone had been a little on edge. It was only natural that Daniel would be wary. The questions that plagued her, were; would it continue? Was it the fear of being told that he actually *was* crazy? Or was it as Janet dreaded...that the problem was *her.*

If it was - well, Janet had always put her patient's welfare before her own feelings. So if Daniel wanted another Doctor, then she could arrange it so that Dr Warner could handle things. Would that solve their problem...whatever it was?

"Doctor," Hammond said, breaking her out of her thoughts. He inclined his head, leaving the infirmary as quietly as he'd arrived.

Before she could dwell any further, she heard a voice on the PA system.

"Medical team to the 'gate room! Medical team to the 'gate room!"

Oh, well, Janet thought, pushing away her concerns for the moment. Don't let it be said that this job is boring.

~~~~~

"So," O'Neill declared. "Anyone get the idea that we may...smell a little bad?"

Sam eyed yet another passing person, who suddenly changed direction, retreating quickly down the corridor in the direction they'd come from. "Whatever gave you that idea, sir? The fact that we seem to have such an enthusiastic welcoming comity?"

Okay, Sam, she thought. *Definitely* spending too much time around the Colonel.

"No," Jack replied. "I was thinking of the way that everyone seems to be going out of their way to avoid us like the plague...I mean, c'mon...can't be that bad, right?"

He turned to Carter, who in turn found an interesting spot to stare at, at the far end of the corridor.

His next appeal went to Teal'c. "Right, Teal'c?"

But in typical Teal'c fashion, the Jaffa merely raised an eyebrow, giving O'Neill a look that clearly said, 'Think what you wish, O'Neill.'

Fine, Jack thought, they can be that way... Daniel would support him. So he looked over to his quiet friend.

Ah, Daniel. He'd regained some of the color that had leached from his face when Jack himself had made a joke about the obligatory post mission infirmary time that was part of the SGC team's life, but he still hadn't come back to them fully.

"Daniel?"

It took a repeat of his name to get the other man's attention, but Daniel finally focused on him. "Yeah, Jack?"

'Are you alright?' There, he could think it...so why couldn't he say it? True, he knew what it was to be annoyed with that one question repeatedly, but he really needed to know. It was hovering on the tip of his tongue for crying out loud -

"How 'bout those rocks?" Damn.

Although it wasn't what Jack had wanted to say, he was actually glad that he'd blurted it out, as he watched a small, tired smile turn up the corners of Daniel's lips.

"Artefacts, Jack," he corrected. "Those artefacts are in good condition...hopefully they'll be able to shed some light on the - "

"Okay, I - I get the idea," Jack interrupted. Not that he wouldn't have been happy to hear Daniel go on about some rocks - whoa, he paused, never thought I'd hear myself think that - but Daniel had a tendency to lose the world around him when he got like that...and Jack could do without anther trip to the infirmary, this time because Daniel forgot to look where he was going and walked into a wall.

Daniel nodded at Jack's abrupt cut off, used to them, and the smile that he got from Jack took the sting out of it. In truth, Jack's complete intolerance for the more technical aspects of his work made Daniel feel almost...normal. The past few weeks had been hell. First, almost having to give up the 'gate, and then...and then Ma'chello's little Goa'uld killing machines. He needed things to go back to the way they were...before he actually *did* go nuts, as Jack would say.

"Well," Sam's voice cut though his thoughts. "This is where I get off. See you at the debriefing."

"See you, Carter," Jack said, watching the retreating form of Sam as she made her way to the woman's locker room. That just left him, Teal'c and Daniel...he could see he was going to be struggling for conversation.

~~~~~

Teal'c and Jack undressed quickly, wanting to get as far away from the smell that permeated their clothes as possible. Daniel, on the other hand, took his time, sitting down on one of the locker room benches and starting by slowly unlacing his boots. It was almost as if he was avoiding them, Jack thought. Just as he had for the last week. Well, Jack was cool with that...for now. He knew what it was to want some space...he just wouldn't let it go on for too long. Now, though, he decided to go with what Daniel obviously wanted.

"Better hurry up, Daniel," was all he said, standing there in nothing but his boxers. "Don't wanna miss the debrief...and all that fascinating talk of stinky monkey-skunk."

Daniel didn't look up, just continued to methodically loosen his laces from their holes, but his lips did twitch, and Jack counted that as a victory. "Wouldn't want that," Daniel agreed quietly.

Jack chose to believe that he'd done enough for now, and grabbed his things from his locker, closing it and walking into the showers with a wink to Teal'c, who inclined his head in understanding of O'Neill's tactics. The large Jaffa gave Daniel one last glance, and then retreated into the showers as well.

Finally alone, Daniel gave a sigh. This was it, he thought. The place where it all began. Well, that wasn't technically true, but it was the place where he'd had his first 'experience.' The locker room, where he'd been convinced that someone was calling him. Now, sitting in here, he couldn't rid himself of the feeling that it was going to happen again...that any minute now, he would hear the ghostly voice calling his name. That it would start all over again, only this time, there would be *no* cure...because it was true...that he *was* nuts.

The thought made a shiver run through his body, his skin rising in goose flesh as he looked around, searching for a threat that wasn't here.

Stop it, he told himself angrily. It isn't going to happen...it wasn't *real.* You're fine now, and it was all a mistake, and you're *fine.*

The mantra calmed him slightly, and he began undressing properly, pulling off his boots and socks to reveal feet that were sore and tired after a long hike. He wiggled his toes, watching them flex and curl, trying to force a bit more feeling into them. Next went his t-shirt, revealing his hairless chest, pale in the florescent lighting of the locker room. He folded it, leaving it on the bench he sat on. Then he stood, undoing his belt, before opening his pants, letting them slide down his long legs until they hit the floor and puddled around his ankles. Stepping out of them, he bent over at the waist, scooping them up and shaking them out, before repeating his previous actions by folding them, and then placing them on the bench.

Now he wore only his shorts, and he quickly got rid of them, grabbing his things and making for the shower, turning it on and adjusting the temperature.

He could hear the other two in their own cubicles, Teal'c as quiet as ever, the running water his only noise, and Jack singing - or *attempting* to - at the top of his lungs. It was some sort of Opera, he realized. He could understand the words, but was pretty sure that Jack was mangling the vocals. Whatever. It was an act that had been performed many times, after many missions, and it only served to calm Daniel further.

Reaching for his shower gel, he popped open the cap, pouring some into his palm. Then he rubbed his hands together, creating a bubbly lather and began moving them over his body, his hands going on auto pilot while his mind wandered.

He heard the other showers shut off at virtually the same time. Then there was the sound of wet footsteps, and Jack's voice called out to him.

"Hey, Daniel, get your butt in gear! Teal'c and I will get dressed, and meet you outside...don't be long."

"Sure, Jack," Daniel yelled back, suppressing a smile at the mock-impatience in Jack's voice. He wasn't any more eager to get this meeting on the road than Daniel was. He grabbed the shower gel again, flipping the cap and getting another dollop. This he used on his hair...or what was *left* of it. It was still a little difficult to get used to it at this length...easier to get dried, though, he mused.

Stepping forward, he stood directly under the spray, letting it wash the soap from his hair and body, watching as the bubbles slowly swirled down the drain.

When he was clean - and *definitely* no longer smelling like one of those monkey-skunk things - he turned the shower off, grabbing his bath robe and wrapping it around himself, doing up the belt. Then he left the cubicle, moving into the main locker room. He grabbed a towel, rubbing his hair with it, then hanging it over a rail as he put his things away. But as he did, a noise slowly caught his attention, and he turned, trying to figure out what it was.

Then he saw it, the noise suddenly clarifying in his ears. It was the faucet...the leaky faucet that had been dripping the first time he'd heard the voice.

As if pulled there by some unknown force, Daniel walked forward, moving to the sink and reaching out a hand...making a cupping shape with his palm and fingers, and feeling the water drip slowly into it. He looked up at his reflection in the mirror. Last time he'd seen confusion reflected back, as he tried to figure out what had him so unsettled. Now, something else looked back at him. Fear...total terror that it was going to happen again. He blinked rapidly, trying to rid himself of the burning sensation in his eyes.

Suddenly, he did hear a voice, one that startled him badly.

"Daniel! Get a move on, huh?"

Jeez! It was Jack, he told himself, trying to calm his racing heart. Just Jack.

"Daniel...you okay in there?" There was concern in his tone now, and Daniel rallied enough to speak.

"I'm fine, Jack," he shouted back. He was, he said internally. He was fine.

Shaking his hand off, he reached out again, this time to the faucet controls. Twisting them as hard as he could, he was satisfied when the water stopped, the last few drops hitting the sink before it ceased completely.

He dried and dressed hurriedly, toweling his hair a bit more and then putting his stuff away. Making for the door, he opened it, causing Jack to almost fall through.

"Oh," Jack said nonchalantly. "There you are."

Daniel smiled, the action feeling more natural now, a difference to just a few hours ago.

Jack inclined his head, motioning his team ahead of him.

Walking along with the others, Daniel began to think things over. It felt as if he were thinking clearly for the first time in days. He'd been letting the fear of losing his sanity rule him for what seemed like ages. That wasn't his way...he'd lived through too much crap in his life to let something like this stop him from going on. So he spoke up, deciding to follow through with his decision to get past this.

"How about we go for something to eat," he suggested hesitantly, then continued with more confidence. "After the debriefing?"

Jack smiled, knowing that finally, Daniel was reaching out to them. "Sounds good. Carter?"

"I agree, sir," Sam said, a smile lighting up her own face as Daniel let them in. "How about O'Malleys? We haven't been there in a while."

"Great idea. Teal'c?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, the corners of his full lips twitching. "I believe that is a worthy idea, O'Neill." He was aware of the undertones that ran through his friends words...satisfied that his friends were going to triumph over this last obstacle.

"Great," Jack said.

"Great," Daniel echoed, turning forward and continuing on. He *was* going to be fine. His friends would make sure of it.

The End.