TITLE: Alien Measles
AUTHOR: Darcy
EMAIL: Darcy3011@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Slash, ER, Humor
PAIRING: Jack/Daniel
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None
SEASON/SEQUEL: Any season/no sequel
DATE: April 2003
STATUS: Complete
CONTENT WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Daniel takes care of a recovering Jack
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This fic was written in response to a challenge on the AG.
Alien Measles
"JACK, I CAN SEE YOU!"
Damn him! When did his Doctor of Archeology grow eyes in the back of his head and join forces with the SGC's demented Doctor of Medicine? Jack had been so glad to be home. He couldn't wait to get out of the infirmary and away from the clutches of the seriously deranged, totally exasperated, Doctor Fraiser. Who knew she had replaced his Danny with this obedient, single-minded, humorless clone?
No way he can see me from there. Jack tested his theory by pretending to paw at his chest. Nothing. He started scratching his shin in earnest when the evil look-a-like ran into the room screaming like a banshee.
"JACK, STOP!"
What the hell…had they installed hidden cameras during his thirty-minute nap? Daniel was supposed to be making his lunch, not spying on his every move.
His archeology doctor was trying to sound mad. "Stop scratching, Jack. I'll take you back to the infirmary. I mean it." It was an empty threat. Daniel was relatively certain that Cheyenne Mountain would issue Anubis a visitor pass before they'd allow a less than 100% Colonel O'Neill to once again grace the halls.
"I thought you were making me lunch?"
Daniel gritted his teeth. "I am. I did. Here it is." He handed Jack the egg salad sandwich he'd requested and a glass of juice, then hastily retreated back to the kitchen to clean up. Before he had a chance to turn the water on, Jack was calling.
"DANIEL."
Daniel reappeared at the sofa. "Yes, Jack?"
"What the hell is this?" Jack pulled the top piece of bread off the sandwich and held it out for Daniel to see.
"It's egg salad, Jack. Just what you asked for."
"Are you trying to kill me? Why does it look so…green?"
"I'm not trying to kill you," Daniel sighed. *Not yet* "Those are olives. Olives are green."
"Olives? I can't eat this, Daniel. NO ONE puts olives in egg salad." Oops, Jack glanced over at Daniel waiting for a lecture. Daniel rarely let it slide when he used words like NO ONE or EVERYONE or ALL or NEVER. Apparently, today was one of those rare exceptions. Somehow, Daniel didn't seem up for delivering a speech. As a matter of fact, he had already disappeared into the kitchen with the sandwich in tow.
"Never mind the egg salad, just make me peanut butter and jelly," Jack yelled, deciding to give Daniel a break from having to hard-boil more eggs. "And NO experimenting. Just my Skippy and my Smuckers, okay?"
It was pretty quiet in there.
"Make it easy on yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. Strawberry Smuckers. DANIEL?"
"Gotcha, Jack, strawberry." Daniel answered calmly, profoundly grateful for the hours of Kel'no'reem he'd been putting in with Teal'c.
~~~~
Daniel finished up the dinner dishes and sat down with his laptop. He HAD to get some work done. Jack was definitely getting better which was really a case of good news/bad news. The good news…Jack was getting better. The bad news…a healthier Jack was an impossible Jack. Twice Daniel had to wrestle plastic clothes hangers away from Jack's grasp before he had the opportunity to rub them up and down his back in an attempt to get some relief from the incessant itching. The Colonel seemed fairly docile tonight. Then again, looks can be deceiving. As soon as Daniel read the first sentence on the screen, his master's voice bellowed.
"DANIEL, where are you?" The all too familiar question sent an involuntary chill down Daniel's spine. "In the kitchen, Jack. If you just turn your head slightly, you can see me."
"I'm bored." Jack declared loudly.
Daniel rubbed at the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "I'm working, Jack. Watch TV. Did you lose the remote?"
"I'm sick of TV. Let's play *Battleship* again."
Daniel stopped working to get up and retrieve the game, handing it over to his impatient patient.
Jack grabbed at Daniel's hand before he could make his escape. "Hey, where ya going, Dannyboy?"
" Back to work."
"Oh, come on, I thought we were gonna play." Daniel couldn't help but smile at the pout used in combination with the whine.
"Play against the computer, Jack. I'm busy and I'm Battleshipped out."
"I don't want to play against the computer. I want to play with you." Damn, if the Special Ops Colonel didn't sound exactly like an eight year old.
"It's the same thing." Daniel said as evenly as possible.
"It's not. It's way more fun destroying you and your fleet than the computer's."
"Thank you, Jack…I think. But I have to finish this. Just…watch TV for a while." Daniel fished the remote out from underneath the cushions and handed it to Jack. He took it grudgingly.
This time Daniel read through an entire paragraph. That was progress.
"DANIEL…what's the name of the currency in Nigeria?"
"Naira."
"Thanks."
"DANIEL…what's another word for stubborn?
"Um…inflexible."
"Starts with an 'O'."
Sure it doesn't start with a 'J'? "Obstinate."
"That's good. How about…an island of this country in the Aegean Sea?"
"Jack, what are you doing?"
"Ah hah! Got ya!"
"Samos. What are you doing?"
"I'm doing a crossword puzzle."
*No, you're shouting out questions, I'm doing the crossword puzzle.* Daniel opened his mouth to voice this complaint and then just as quickly shut it. What would be the point? "I'm not getting any work done, Jack."
"You're not? You wanna play Battleship then?"
Hell, why not? Might as well. Not accomplishing anything anyway. "Yeah, sure, sounds like fun. Let's play some Battleship."
"That's one of the things I love about you, Daniel. No matter how many times I kick your ass, you're always willing to come back for more!"
"No such thing as too much Battleship, Jack."
~~~~
Daniel covered Jack up and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm glad your getting better," he whispered, rubbing Jack's shoulder through the light blanket.
"Sleep in here with me tonight, Daniel." Jack's voice was soft and sincere.
"Give it a few more days," Daniel suggested. He was sick of sleeping in the spare room but wasn't about to go against any of Janet's orders now that Jack was finally on the road to recovery.
"Come on, Danny…I miss ya. And Janet says the lesions are all nicely scabbed over."
"That statement is just so NOT appealing, Jack."
Jack pulled on Daniel's arm. "Kiss my scabs and make them better."
"JACK…NO!"
"No? You kissed my arms when I had those burns. They were pretty nasty."
"That was different."
"Why?"
"Those were burns…this is a…disease."
"Fraiser says I'm not contagious."
"That's not the point."
"I don't see the difference. I'd kiss yours."
Daniel laughed out loud. "You wouldn't. And I'm not."
Jack changed tactics. "If you love me…"
Daniel cut him off. "If I love you…I won't murder you while you sleep."
"Here take two of these." Daniel handed Jack a glass of water and the last of the sleep aid pills.
"Hey, Doc Fraiser says I don't need these anymore."
"She's not here and I say you do."
Jack looked doubtful.
"Take them and I'll kiss your head."
Jack grinned and hastily gulped down the pills.
Daniel lay down on top of the blanket next to his favorite colonel. Jack snuggled up close and wrapped his arms around the familiar chest. He nestled his head underneath Daniel's chin and dreamed of how in just a few short days his archeologist doctor's warm body would be under the covers with him, minus all the cumbersome clothing.
Daniel gently kissed the soft gray hair.
"Hey," Jack said sleepily. "I wasn't too bad for being sick, was I?"
Compared to…what? "No. No, Jack, you were fine. Just fine."
As soon as he heard the light snoring, Daniel untangling himself from Jack's embrace and gave the scabbed over forehead one last kiss before heading downstairs to make some coffee and get to work. He had exactly six hours before the pills wore off.
~~finis~~
