Title: Finishing The Game

Author: Kiva

Feedback:If you get a chance, at kiva31@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Category: Musings, POV, First time.

Status: Finished

Season/Spoilers: Most of the later portion of Season three and four, from Point Of View onwards to Tangent.

Synopsis: Jack and Daniel have been playing their game for a long time now...and Daniel thinks it's time for the finishing move.

Notes: This is short and (hopefully) sweet...really just a way to distract myself from writing another story. It starts in journal format, then switches to first person POV - confused? I thought you would be ;-)

Many, many thanks to Devra, Debi C, and especially CA - this story is what it is because of them - if it sucks, well, that was me ;-) CA, I hope that the finished product incorporates the last thing we emailed about (re Jack and the hugs and pats.) Finally, enjoy ;-)

Warnings: Mild sexual contact between two consenting adult men.

Disclaimer; The characters of Stargate SG1 are not mine, nor do I lay any claims on them. This is for entertainment purposes only, and done in the hopes of shutting the damn plot bunnies up.

We're a strange pair, Jack O'Neill and I. Complete opposites. Each from varying backgrounds, each usually taking conflicting sides in key issues -- and each sharing an incredible bond with the other.

Recently that bond has been tested. Not broken, not completely, but, I don't know -- bruised? -- a little. Disagreements here and there, differences of opinion that have left us stung and seething -- but not lost to each other.

Watching him with the Sam that arrived from the alternate reality gave me the answer, I think, although I couldn't tell you when Jack got it.

You see, we know *why* now. Why every little grievance reached the proportion it did, why they affected us so. Why seeing him with Sam -- innocent or not -- made me feel the way I did, and why the same has been true of him every time we meet an alien that seems at least half interested in me.

Jack and I, we...feel for each other. More than we should. I think that Jack possibly loves me. *Loves* me. *Me*.

Are the feelings returned? To an extent. I haven't told Jack anything, because we can't vocalize what we feel, or even act on it. She may not be with me right now, but I still love Sha're more than anything. But when I'm thinking it through, thoughts whirling wildly in my mind, I can admit that deep down I know she wouldn't begrudge me happiness -- even if something prevented it from being with her anymore.

So, we mostly just tease, play a game, if you will. Jack started it, but when I became aware of the rules, I admit, I played along...a touch here and there, lingering longer than we should. The silences thick with unsaid words, our thoughts clearly playing over our faces. For now, that's all that either of us can do, feelings or not. Even if Jack wasn't in the Military -- in which case, we wouldn't have met, but that's a thought for another time -- I don't know if that's even what I want. I'm in love with Sha're, and until that part of my life is resolved, I couldn't consider starting anything. When we get Sha're home -- and I have to believe that we will -- well, I know that Kendra had a lot of trouble adjusting to her life after being a host. So when we get Sha're back, I will do my best to help her, because she comes first. I only hope that my love will be enough.

Of course, one could say that it wouldn't be such a strange thing for us to do -- and believe me, Jack has, only half-joking at the times when the frustration boils over -- since we've actually known each other for years, and the logical, scientific part of me can even sometimes agree we may never get Sha're back, not the same as when she left, so what's the harm -- but...I have to be sure. I have to know that I'm not just putting my feelings for Sha're onto Jack, hoping to assuage my sense of being alone. Because if by some strange way this ever came to pass between us, I wouldn't want it to end as soon as boredom set in, or the going got tough. *That* is probably my greatest worry. I don't want to exchange the best friendship that I have ever experienced...for a quick fling. One based on mistaken feelings, that brings embarrassment and anger when reflected upon. I have to know for sure that this is the real deal...for Jack, as well as me.

I will never give up on Sha're, but on some cold, lonely nights, it seems almost like a test. To see if my love holds up to the trials that we're being put through. A part of me that is the scientist, knows that it's possible we won't ever get her back. So I guess until we know for sure, I'll just have to keep playing the game.

Entry from Daniel Jackson's Journal.

~~~~~~~

God, thinking back on that entry, I wonder if I would have held out on exploring my confusion if I knew exactly how my life was going to go. Jack and I still haven't resolved that particular issue, though less holds us back now, I suppose. Sha're is gone...I did find her, but there was no real rescue. Just a release from the torment that she had endured. I still miss her, and sometimes wonder how I got through those days and weeks and months after her death, feeling as if a part of me had been lost with her...but I did.

Other things have prevented us, however. Jack becoming stranded on Edora...his little ploy to bring down Maybourne and his not so merry band of galactic misfits. Nick and the giant aliens...the rest of my team being stuck on another planet as we rushed to try and set up a Stargate in time to get them back. Then the whole issue of the order given to fire on the submarine containing Jack and Teal'c, the Eurondans, the Enkarens...all of it banding together and conspiring to never allow us a moments peace. But you see, I don't care anymore. I've thought about it and thought about it...God, with one thing or another lately, I've had the opportunity to do nothing *but* think. I love Jack. Our friendship may have sprung from one of the most devastating events of my life, but...I don't want to wait for the 'right time' any longer. It's finally sunk in that we could die tomorrow. That *Jack* could die tomorrow. After the close call we've just had with the retro-fitted Death Glider...I'm ready. I'm going to take that step regardless.

Which is why I invited Jack over tonight...he thinks it's just for another round of our ritual 'touch - but not too much' game, to reassure each other after a close call...but it isn't. As I corner him on the couch, I take a deep breath, finally feeling as if I can breath now that the weight of indecision has been lifted -- though not totally banished.

Grinning with more confidence than I actually feel, I push Jack back into a sitting position, quickly straddling his lap before I can lose my nerve. Not the most dignified position I've ever found myself in, but....

I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't actually think that I'll do it. I was, after all, the one who told him no the first time he let me know what he wanted. And the time after that, too...persistent little begger, huh?

But right from the start, whenever I needed someone, Jack was there. At first his presence was just a welcome distraction, later...a loving one. It progressed...at first a touch, just to let me know he was there. When our friendship became even firmer, it was pats on the arm, hugs, and a promise of an ear if it was needed. There were many bad experiences to be found through the 'gate, so it was a comfort to have him by my side. Eventually those feelings of friendship evolved, becoming a deep love for him, in every sense that I know of -- physically, emotionally... I know for certain that I want this now.

"Hey."

Jack's voice brings me back, and I can tell when his bemusement turns to concern. "Where did you go?"

I feel my mouth quirk. "Just to the other side of the galaxy and back." God, that was corny. Is this what I can expect from now on? As my feelings grow, so do my sap levels? Fortunately, he doesn't call me on it.

"'Kay. Now that you're back, though...what're you doing?"

Well, that's a loaded question. Of course, so is the bulge in Jack's jeans that I'm almost sitting on, his body's reaction to my proximity. I don't think he believes even now that I'm going to do more than play the game...he's in for a surprise.

Leaning my head down, I fit my lips to his, little teasing nips at first, then firmer movements, our mouths rubbing together as he gets with the program. I follow it up by licking into his mouth, a shiver running down my back as he lets out a low moan, the sound swallowed by the kiss.

We pull back and I lick my lips, imagining that I can taste him there.

"What are you doing, Daniel?" he asks, his voice low and raw, the body under me thrumming with energy.

"Finishing the game," I reply, going back for more of his kisses. It rapidly gets out of hand, the kiss turning into just an excuse to taste each other, our tongues roaming and creating sensations that have us both hard by the time we separate. I can't seem to stop my body from moving, rubbing my lower half all over his lap. He starts moving too, biting his lower lip as we both struggle to calm our breathing.

"Bed?" he suggests, grunting as I hit a particularly hot spot with my movements.

I just nod, shifting a few more times before I move, putting my legs on the floor and standing with some difficulty. I notice that Jack is experiencing the same trouble, and I help him to walk, managing to grope him in as many places as I can reach on the way.

As we head into the bedroom, a smile curves up my mouth. Because this game may be finished...but it certainly isn't over.

The End.