moma jokes

Yo moma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo moma's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
Yo moma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo moma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo moma's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo moma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo moma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo moma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo moma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo moma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo moma's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Yo moma's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo moma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo moma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo moma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo moma's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo moma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo moma's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo moma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo moma's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo moma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo moma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
Yo moma's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo moma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her
through.
Yo moma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo moma's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo Moma's so old..
Yo moma's so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo moma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo moma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo moma's so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo moma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo moma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo moma's so old when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
Yo moma's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo moma's so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
Yo moma's so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
Yo moma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo moma's so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
Yo moma's so old her social security number is 1!
Yo moma's so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
Yo moma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo Moma's so stupid..
Yo moma's so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said "Moo!"
Yo moma's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.
Yo moma's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through
traffic.
Yo moma's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death.
Yo moma's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.
Yo moma's so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.
Yo moma's so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo moma's so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned.
Yo moma's so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail.
Yo moma's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any'
key.
Yo moma's so stupid, she thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Yo moma's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?"
Yo moma's so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo moma's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo moma's so stupid, she gave birth to You.
Yo moma's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.
Yo moma's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo moma's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
Yo moma's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo moma's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.
Yo moma's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating Your house.
Yo moma's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo moma's so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.
Yo moma's so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back.
Yo moma's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food."
Yo moma's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said
`concentrate.'

Yo Moma's like..
Yo moma's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
Yo moma's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Yo moma's like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
Yo moma's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
Yo moma's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Yo moma's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
Yo moma's like a mail box, open day and night.
Yo moma's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo moma's like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Yo moma's like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Yo moma's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
Yo moma's like a streetlamp, You can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
Yo moma's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
Yo moma's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Yo moma's like a bowling ball, round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
Yo moma's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
Yo moma's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she stil l
comes back for more.
Yo moma's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Yo moma's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo moma's like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
Yo moma's like Burger King, Your way, right away.
Yo moma's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
Yo moma's like a library, open to the public.
Yo moma's like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all You can eat.
Yo moma's like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Yo moma's like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Yo moma's like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Yo moma's like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Yo moma's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

Yo Moma's so nasty..
Yo moma's so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yo moma's so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo moma's so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened
up her shirt
Yo moma's so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo moma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach
Yo moma's so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
Yo moma's so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo moma's so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.
Yo moma's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
Yo moma's so nasty she made right guard turn left.