1969---
"I did not," John argued.
"Yes you did," Paul snapped.
George and Ringo were at the drums talking when the argument started, and they were now watching it with interest. What the fight was about...they didn't know. They just new Rita was the cause of it.
"No I didn't," John fired back. "The two of us never dated."
"Yes the bloody 'ell you did. Why else would she have been wearing that rock of an engagment ring you gave her?"
"Ahh...Sure we were engaged...but we never dated," John smirked.
"You can't be engaged to someone if yer not dating!"
"Yes you can!"
George shook his head and chuckled. "They just can't stick to that no fighting rule can they?"
"Apparently not," Ringo replied with a heavy sigh. "Or they don't think it applies to them."
In a split second, John and Paul were tied up fighting. Ringo jumped up and tried to pull Paul off while George went after John. The fight stopped when Martin's voice came over the speakers, "Stop fighting right this instant!"
Paul let go of John and looked up toward the ceiling. "Yes God."
The four of them began giggling hysterically.
"Ha ha, very funny Paul. I'm not God," Martin said sarcastically.
"Close enough," John laughed.
"Still have some other things to do," Martin announced. "You boys keep talking and remember..."
"No fighting," the four of them said in unison with Big George.
The four of them looked at eachother and went to their "area" of the studio.
Paul picked up his bass and piddled around with it for a moment. He started humming a tune John quickly recognized as that god-awful nursery ryhmne "Lovely Rita Meter Maid."
"Eh, Paul, did you ever figure out why Rita left England so quickly just before Rubber Soul came out," John asked.
"Yes," he mumbled in reply.
"Why did she? Was it because I asked her to marry me?"
Paul glanced up at John. "No. I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."
"Just give me a hint then."
"Remember when we were all in San Fransico?" Paul asked. "You know, when we all decided to stop by the commune her and Loretta were living in. I still remember that last day we were there..."
"How could I forget that day?" John said in a sad tone.
***
Post touring, pre Sgt Pepper--
"Are you absolutely sure this is the right one?" George asked, taking in the scenery of the two story house.
It was painted white with bright blue shudders. There was a small flower garden on either side of the porch. To the side of the house George could see a nice little vegetable garden. In other words, the complete opposite of the other two communes they had gone to looking for Rita.
"Look, I went to the ones that sort of looked like the description she gave me over the phone," John snapped. "Besides...how was I to know there was four listings under 'Lorraine McCartney'?"
Paul gave a half-smile at hearing the name Rita was using so her parents couldn't have tracked her down. Not that they could now...being that Pam's boyfriend Maxwell Edison had broken into the Mustard home and killed Pam, Matthew, and Sadie with, of all things, a rather large sledge hammer.
"I'm knocking," Paul announced.
"No you're not I am," John piped.
"No, I am!" Ringo laughed.
"How about all four of us knock together," George suggested.
The other three looked at eachother, shrugged, then all our of them knocked on the door at the same time. A rather short girl answered the door. Her dark blond hair was in small braids, and she was dresses like a typical flower child. She pulled down her round-framed sunglasses.
"Oh, cool," she laughed. "The Beatles are at the door. What can I do for you all brothers?"
"Uhh...We're looking for..." John started.
"Ringo," a familar voice cried out.
Before they could ask any questions, Ringo had a hugging him around the neck with her legs around his waist.
"Nice to see you too Loretta," Ringo chuckled. "I think we found the right place mates."
Loretta hopped to her feet and looked up to Ringo because she was a good six inches shorter than Ringo. "Come on in, we've been expecting you."
They followed her into the house. They went through a beaded curtain to leave the simple "welcoming area" (as Loretta called it), and into the living room wher they immediately felt at home.
"Groovy," George smiled as he took in the decor of the room.
Multi-colored throw pillows on the tan couch...Beaded curtains over the windows and the doorways to any other part of the house (except the stairway). "Revolver" was playing on the record player. Incense could be smelt through out the room.
"The first floor is the commons," Loretta informed. "This is were we come to talk, play games, watch telly, get high, and all that other sort of stuff. Mummy Versailles wanted to keep all that stuff separate from the living quarters upstairs."
"Have you or Rit popped in kids out yet," John asked.
"Look, Johnnie, I know you're in a rush to have a kid named after you but..." Loretta laughed.
"Mommy!" a little kid squeeled, attaching itself to Loretta's leg.
"Len...how many times do I have to tell you..." Loretta scolded lightly, as she picked the little boy up. "I'm not one of the house mothers...I'm an 'Auntie'. Forgive him, he's too young to understand. He calls everyone mommy."
"Auntie?" Paul asked.
"Oh...that's the basic structure to the commune. The more respected women are known as 'House Mothers', they usually have had a child born while they lived at this house, but not always. Underlings such as myself are known as 'Aunties'. If there is a problem in the house, we got to the House Mothers. If they can't help, they go to Mummy Versailles, she's our Superior Mother. As you have guessed, this is a matriarchal commune," Loretta smiled sweetly. "And this is Len, he's the son of one of the House Mothers...or so I am told. From what I hear, Rita sort of adopted him while I was in Arizona with JoJo."
"She did damn good picking," John chuckled. "He looks alot like her."
"That's why I said 'from what I understand'. You guys know how she was practically with a different guy every few days before the two of us escaped to America...if I didn't know better, I'd think one of those guys wasn't careful..." she said in a low voice, glancing at each of the guys.
"Wasn't me," Paul defended, then looked at George.
"Not me," George shrugged, looking at Ringo.
Ringo shook his head. "John?"
"Don't even start," John warned. He quickly changed the subject. "So, how's JoJo, Retta?"
"He kicked over from a gun shot to the head last month," Loretta sighed. "Mr. Martin got his neck too far into something he shouldn't have..."
"Sorry to hear that," Ringo said quietly.
"Don't be, he deserved it. Do you guys want to go up and see Rita...oops I mean Lorraine?"
"Yes," came the chorused reply.
Len reached out for John and John carefully took the little boy. "Hello, lit'le boy. My name is John. What's yours?"
The boy touched John's nose as they started up the stairs. "John." He pointed to himself. "Lennon."
"Lennon you say. That's me last name," John chuckled.
They followed Loretta down the long hallway and came to a door that was painted bright green with "Mother McCartney" written on it in different colors. Loretta quietly knocked on the door. "Rit, it's me Retta. You have some guests."
"I don't want guests right now Loretta," came a shakey reply. It was quiet for a moment then they heard her scream. "Retta! Help me!"
The six of them piled into the room as quickly as possible. Rita was standing over a collapsed body in the middle of her florr, wiping blood from her lip.
"Rita, are you alright?" Loretta asked in concern.
"Hell no I'm not alright! Get this trash out of this house now!" she yelled, pointing at the guy on her floor.
A few more members of the commune came in and drug the unconscious lad out.
"Mommy!" Len chirped, reaching out for her.
She looked at the four of them blankly for a moment then ran over to get Len from John. She glanced up at John and smiled sweetly. "Sorry for the reception. Len tends to cling to guests...especially guys. In case you haven't noticed there aren't many guys in this commune."
"Don't mention it," John grinned.
"Retta, you are excused now," Rita ordered lightly.
Loretta seemed to not want to listen for a moment, then left the room, closing the door behind her.
"So, what brings the four of you here to this humble and simple commoner's home."
"We wanted to visit you and see how you were doing," Ringo replied.
"Do have a seat on the rug," she invited, sitting on the rug in the middle of her floor. "It was nice of you all to take time out of your busy schedules to visit little old me."
"We're never too busy to visit old friends," George stated firmly, as the four of them sat on the rug as well. "So...this is a female run commune. Don't see many of those these days."
"And as you have probably noticed, it's one of the best run ones," Rita teased. "If the world just let the women rule everything, there wouldn't be any real problems."
"The ever-enlightened solution to world peace we've been looking for," John laughed. "So, what do you do for fun around her Rit...since there aren't any guys around this place."
"Oh...I've changed alot since I left England Johnnie," Rita sighed. "I quit anything that wasn't healthy like pot, LSD, and all that other stuff I was on. I haven't had any of that stuff since that night you bent my arm behind my back and made me and Loretta promise to name our first born sons after you..." she laughed slighty. "But I had a good reason to, all it was doing was making me miserable. When I came to America, I started seeing a psychatrist. Which I'm proud to say, that after a very effective twelve step program...I am no longer a sex addict...like some people." She looked pointedly at John.
John gave a mock "Who me?" expression then grinned evily. "We can change that y'know..."
"Sod off Johnnie," Rita laughed. "My life has been nothing but better since I got rid of all that bad stuff in my life..."
"When was the last time you did that," John asked curiously.
"May I suggest a good psychatrist for you John?...But seriously, the night before me and Loretta left for America."
John grinned devilishly. So...he thought...he had been the last guy she had been with. He still remembered staying the night at her home on Penny Lane and waking up to her being gone, leaving a note saying she had left for America. That had been about three months after they first crossed the line of friendship in "The Field".
***
After a nice dinner of home grown veggies, the guys lazied about in the commons area talking with the other inhabitants. At least...John was.
George and two of the girls had slipped off somewhere.
Ringo was in one of the other commons rooms getting stoned.
And Paul and Loretta seemed about ready to slip off somewhere themselves.
John was trying to make conversation with the Superior Mother and a couple of the other House Mothers.
"Rita is my pride and joy of the House Mothers. In fact, she's the second in command, first when I'm not here," Versailles bragged. "Second in command has to almost always be sober and clear minded so she can tend to the others, just like I do."
"Second in command!" John gasped in shock. "Miss Rita, you never said that you hit the big time."
Paul could finally no longer take the torture Loretta was putting him through. "We're going upstairs," he grinned and took Loretta by the hand. They raced upstairs and quickly found her room. "Now that we have some alone space..."
They fell on the bed kissing in a frenzy. About thirty minutes later, before anything serious had actually happened he murmured something which apparently ticked Loretta off big time.
"What?!" he asked in surprise.
"Get out," Loretta ordered firmly. "If yer going to call me by some other name, get out."
"What did I call you? I said Loretta."
"No, Paul, you didn't. I heard you loud and clear. You called me Rita," she spat venomously. "Dammit! She's got every last one of you wrapped around her little finger! I'm tired of being second best to her!"
Loretta stormed out of the room buttoning her blouse up as she exitted.
Paul swore under his breath and went down the hall to Rita's room. Without knocking, he stormed into the room and flipped the light switch. "Oh dammit," he exclaimed. "Sorry you two...I didn't know..."
"Ever hear of the word 'knock' Macca?" John growled in frustration. "I thought you and Loretta had slipped off some'eres."
"I'll just tell you guys in the morning," Paul said nervously. At least the two of them hadn't taken anything off except John's shirt when he had interupted them.
"I think the guest room is open and there's plenty of room in the commons area," Rita suggested.
"Thanks." Paul nodded and quickly left the two of them to their business.
***
Paul awoke the next morning at the sound of commotion in the commons where he'd fallen asleep on the couch.
"She's standing in the middle of the road," he heard someone say. "You know how cars just come around that curve without warning..."
"I'll get her," he hear Rita say. "What all is she buzzing on?"
"Well...good question. I think it would be easier to ask what she isn't stoned on. She's been lighting up all night...she took a hit or two of acid...a few minutes ago she took three drops of LSD..."
Paul jumped up off the couch and followed Rita, his band mates, and a few of the house mothers outside.
"Loretta, come out of the road," Rita ordered, stepping fearlessly into the street. She grabbed Loretta's arm and practically had to drag her out of the road.
"How's it feel Rita?" Loretta snapped, snatching her arm away from her sister and gave her a shove.
"How does what feel Retta?" Rita asked softly.
"To be a whore to ever last one of the Beatles?" Loretta screamed.
"Hey now..." John started toward the arguing sisters but was stopped by the Superior Mother.
"All of you stay back," she said. "I've never seen Retta like this before..."
"Loretta, that was a long time ago," Rita reminded, putting her hand on Loretta's shoulder.
Loretta grabbed Rita's arm roughly. "Doesn't change the fact you've shagged all four of them! You're a disease Rita! You ruin men after you've had them. I've always been second best. ALWAYS! I can't even begin to find happiness with you around. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" With that Loretta shoved Rita back, causing her to trip on the curve and into the street.
Time seemed to stand still as Rita quickly got to her feet. She looked up in horror as a car raced the curve. Before she could make a move to run, the car collided with her.
The car screeched to a stop and she rolled off the hood. Then, the car backed up a bit, then drove around her.
Loretta seemed to instantly sober up and screamed in disbelief. "NO! I didn't mean it Ritty." She ran out into the street and pulled her sister onto the grassy lawn. Loretta held her sister in her arms. "Oh God...I didn't mean it Rita...I'm sorry."
John, Paul, George, and Ringo raced to Rita's side as Versailles ran inside to call an ambulance.
"Lay her flat," Paul ordered quickly.
"Johnnie..." came Rita's weak voice.
"I'm here love," he whispered, taking her hand gently. "Don't say anything. You'll be fine..."
"I don't want to die Johnnie...My life just got worked out...Johnnie, Johnnie...Don't let me die...please," she cried.
"Help will be here soon Rita..." John promised.
"Im sorry Rita...I'm sooo sorry...I didn't mean it when I said I wished
you were dead..." Loretta sobbed.
