About this time the Bass bug hit me. I had a cheap acoustic guitar (can't recall whether it was begged, borrowed, or stolen) and I think I originally picked it up to help Don learn the Bass parts. As I got into learning some of the songs something just clicked. I think I finally thought I was actually doing something musical. I sang since grade school (in the choir) and at the time it was no big deal. To play an instrument, WAS.

I used to sit on my parents' front porch for hours and try to figure out songs. Don, though he liked the idea of being in a band, just never wanted to commit to all the time and effort it took. I think he wanted Bass playing to come naturally and for him it didn't. Eventually (after using him, we had him buy a Bass and amp) the guys decided that we didn't want Don in the band anymore. Guess who was left to tell him?

Suffice to say, Don was not pleased with the news. I was accused of scheming behind his back to get him out of the band. He thought I wanted to hog all the glory by singing AND playing Bass. Actually, through the years, we would do this to many people. We would get them in the band, (usually to use their equipment) then use their stuff for as long as we could, then they'd quit and go on their way. Basses, Drums, P.A.'s, anything we needed. If it wasn't stolen it was used. Usually the people weren't up to par but, at least we had equipment. It's not one of the things I'm proud of doing but, at the time, I could give a sh*t less.

Now, a few words about Drummers. First, let me state that this is not, I REPEAT, NOT about all Drummers. I'm sure there are some Drummers out there who know what they're doing. I've just never had the chance to play in the "Nut" with one. Most of the Drummers in "The Left Nut" could not keep correct time, could not play, or were simply too ugly to keep around for long.

Example, we had a woman drummer (at least I think she was a woman) who we let in the band simply because she had a drum set we could use. One of the guys in the band actually had her (I won't say which, Shevy) but he was young at the time and forgiven for his transgressions (we all have them). Most of our Drummers were either wiping themselves up with tissues after dirty stories or trying to figure out how to hold their sticks (literally and figuratively). Actually, since the "Nut" I've played in bands with some pretty decent Drummers. It's just that they seem to think that the world revolves around them. But then, don't we all?

Got a little side-tracked, but on with the story. After Towaco we played out a few times. Sometimes at local bars (only a few songs at most). Sometimes anyplace that would let us. We would do gigs on the beach, at trailer parks, even weddings. We had a gig at a trailer park and when the cops came they told us they could hear us 2 miles away. Guess our amps weren't turned up enough. We played at a bar called "The Hudson House" and when we played " Sympathy for the Devil" and got to the line that says "Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name" the whole crowd was yelling out Lucifer, over and over. I actually had people come up and tell me they thought I was the Devil. They might not have been too far off.

Spring was coming up and we saw a gig advertised asking for a band for a wedding. We, of course, answered the ad. The woman wanted to know if we played country music and we said, sure. After all, Johnny H. knew "Country Honk"and "Sweet Virginia" by the Stones. As we're trying to figure out how we're going to get paid, the woman says "Would you like to get paid now"? Never one to turn down an opportunity we, of course, said yes. We get to the wedding. We have no drummer, Don on Bass, and know about 10 songs.Some of the songs only one person in the band knew. Johnny H. plays "Stairway to Heaven" solo. No vocals, no band. Next comes Shevy, who plays "Whiter Shade of Pale" solo. No vocals, no band. We then play "Evil Ways". Don actually gets the first riff right! Man, we're on a roll now. So we decide to do our Stones songs. Then we decide to do "Reelin' and Rockin'". Suffice to say, this was not what they wanted. With lyrics like, "I boogied in the kitchen. I boogied in the hall. I got some on my fingers, and wiped it on the wall." it was not what they were looking for. Pulling down my black leotard and flipping off and onto the stage were not appreciated. Imagine that! After the song, the Best Man comes up and says sorry, but we'd have to stop playing. He says he'll work out something to see what we'll get paid. You should have seen him when we told him we already got paid and if we have to stop that's just too bad. We laughed all the way home. Nice guys, huh. Ah... that's just the "Nut".

Aside: Got this note from Johnny H....where would I be without my friend and co-contributor? The minds the first thing to go....but, as long as the Left Nuts still pumping I am not complaining.

YO!

I'm reading the angelfire site and I found an inaccuracy on the fourth page: "Spring was coming up and we saw a gig advertised asking for a band for a wedding. We, of course, answered the ad. The woman wanted to know if we played country music and we said, sure."

In actuality, the woman heard us playing at the trailer park and asked us to play for her daughter's wedding. (This was actually the THIRD trailer park gig ~ the FIRST one was at your trailer park (when you lived over the Bait & Tackle store); the SECOND was for the old man who wanted to piss off his neighbors at 10 in the morning; and the lady hired us after the cops made us stop playing for the old man (which, I believe, was the day we packed up all our stuff and headed for Fuzzy's backyard/beach party (mmmm ... Fuzzy's mom....).

Later....

OK.....Before the questions start.....FUZZY'S MOM??? I've learned that those answers are best left for Johnny H. to answer. My lips are sealed....(which as I recall WASN'T the case in regards to Fuzzy's Mom!!!) Hmmm...I'll have to ask Johnny H. if she was "built like a Brick Shithouse".

You know, the more I do this page the more I realize that it's not about just "The Nut", but life in general. I've always believed that there's something mystical about the triangle and the number 3. A lot of my experiences revolve around this concept. To me a circle is constantly revolving only to eventually wind up back where you started. A triangle has 3 distinct points. Working together to form a unit, but, not always equal. Unlike a circle the distance between these points can vary, yet you still have a unit. Some points can be closer than others. I've had a lot of relationships like this.

With "The Nut", it always seemed that two of the points were always closer than the third. When Shevy and I would get together we would always talk about, Johnny H. When Johnny H. and I would get together we would talk about Shevy. Seems sad now that the three of us couldn't get together and actually talk With each other.Same thing in my love life. I was once with a woman who was everything to me. I would have easily given my life for her. But, there was a triangle again. There was Andy, Big Andy and P.M. Andy and Big Andy were always at war, which consequently left P.M. out in the cold.

Which leads me up to Alcohol. I started drinking when I was around 14 yrs. old. By the time I got together with "The Nut" I was well on my way to being a full-blown alcoholic. I loved being the crazy one. Didn't care what anyone else thought or said. But now that I look back I see that most of the things most precious to me were lost because of this. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not your average geek. I take pride in being my own special brand of geek. Ain't nobody else like me (Thank God). But, like they say, "You don't know what you've got, till it's gone".

In Memoriam

Just found out Gordon Gaines passed away. For those of you who didn't know him, Gordon was one KICK-ASS guitarist! Wherever you are I hope they left the amp on and turned up to 10.

R.I.P.