My Poetry

I hoped that I had found at last
A reason to be happy
My heart was filled with great illusions
That I know now were only expectations
It seemed as though my dreams were real
Yet I should have known better
And am senseless for believing
That things would work out for me
I should already know
That fate keeps its distance from me
I kept imagining that things would be great
And that everything would be perfect
My foolish heart of illusions
Only made reality more agonizing
I let my mind go wondering
For the pursue of blissfulness
Only to standstill at the sorrowful
A destiny of solitude
Is what truly awaits me
My soul to never be content
Something shall always be missing
An emptiness is what I must live with
My pitiful heart of illusions
Longing for compassion
Only waiting for what will never come
Trust was given away freely
And the purest sincerity was spoken
All my thoughts and wishes were shared
Just to receive the excruciating aching of what was really there
My demolished heart of illusions
Left to grieve alone
Awaiting a destiny that will at no time occur
Continuing to hope
Although it sincerely knows it never will exist
By reason of an everlasting loneliness

I see you and want to forgive you
But my heart is still burning

I want to reach out and touch your hand
But my heart just keeps on crying

I hear your voice and want to run to you
But my heart still remains shattered

My mind conforms forgiving you
But my heart strives to forget you

My soul is telling me your the right one
But my heart keeps reminding me of all the wrong you've done

My thoughts only wish to have you present in them
But my heart wants every memory vanished

So many tears have surrendered to you
But my heart still strives to mend itself

So many memories consumed by your cruelty
But my heart only wishes to eliminate those remembrances

So much time was given to you
But my heart's only request is to disregard its existence

My ears hear your apology
But my heart refuses to perceive it

My lips accept a kiss
But my heart refuses to submit itself to your affection

My eyes meet yours and make me wish to fill the emptiness they see in you
But my heart wants nothing more to do with you

Vas a quererme por toda la vida?
Will you love me despite the odds?
Vas a quererme pasa lo que pasa?
Will you love me forever?

Me quieres como yo te quiero?
Piensas en mi como yo pienso en ti?
Suenas de mi, como yo sueno de ti?
Me amas tanto como yo a ti?

Can you love me like I love you?
Can you love me for who I am?
Will you love me with all your soul?
Will your protect with all your heart?

Yo te quiero con todas mis fuerzas...
I love you with every piece of my heart...
Solamente tengo a ti en mi mente...
and all my dreams will always belong to you...

Vas a quererme toda la vida?
Will you love me despite the odds?
Vas a quererme paso lo que pasa?
Will you love me forever my love?

Yesterday went by too fast...

Tomorrow comes and goes much faster...

I wish I could just freeze the time...

And give myself a chance to accept my life...

12 years have gone by in a flash...

And lying ahead of me, is my last chance...

Yet deep inside me I wish I could go back...

When this year seemed to be an eternity away...

Dreaming seems too out of reach...

And traumatized with facing reality...

Leaving me stranded by the speed of time...

Praying that I find my right destiny...

I ask myself if I'm ready...

And although I question myself I know the answer...

Fate takes over part of my life, and pushes me down the
narrow road that awaits me...

And deep inside me I know I'm prepared for all the obstacles
I will have to face...

All I have is one year to prove myself...

Eight months to prove who I am, and what I believe...

This short period of time to determine what I will live for...

All of this has to be decided in less than enough time...

Senior year is actually here...

The thing is, am I ready...?

Yes I am ready...

Ready for the rest of my life...

Every time I need someone...
You are always there...

Anytime I need a favor...
I can turn to you...

Whenever I am feeling down...
I know I can cry on your shoulder...

If I have a secret...
You're the one I tell..

If I have a broken heart...
You can always mend it...

You and I...
Friends forever and ever Amen...

When you need advice...
I am there to give it out...

When your tears are falling...
I am there to catch them...

If you need to laugh...
I am here to laugh with you...

Anytime you need anything...
I will always jump to it...

Cause you and I are friends...
Friends forever, and ever Amen...

I can't ever do enough
To make the whole world understand
That my soul is being ripped apart
And my hart is really aching

I can't explain to people
The way I really feel
Instead I fake a smile
And go on like nothing's real

I can't make people see
That my spirit is yearning to be set free
My mind is cluttered up with so many thoughts
And my head feels like it's going to explode

I can't get people to understand
The pain that I go through
The way I feel day in and day out
And the sorrow that lives in my heart

I can't ever do enough
To make the whole world understand
That my soul is being ripped apart
And my heart is really aching

I'm sure my life seems simple
To all of those around
I always show a smile
And never show what I really hold
I'm sure my life seems happy
Although my heart is burning
And tears are continuously falling
The contented look I wear
Will surely guide all to a different thought
Of what is truly in me
I'm sure my life seems great
As though imaginary
But truthfully it isn't real
More like an imperfection
A definite mistake
And all the more I try
The more it topples down
I'm sure my life seems like all goes well
But getting told that everything you do is wrong
And having all your imperfections pointed out
Doesn't make one's life go well
I'm sure my life seems good to some
Yet reality proves it different
Unhappiness fills my days
Almost at every instant
The good things hardly seem to come to me
And I'm almost always miserable
I'm sure my life seems simple
To all of those around
I always show a smile
And never show what I really hold

Peacefully dreaming
Hoping to see thee...
Praying that though shall notice me
Thy eyes won my heart...
Yet thy spirit deceives me
Thus dreaming of thee is hopeless...
'Tis impossible to imagine
Life with thee near me...
Drifting away
Thou owns my heart...
My mind wonders to thee
Yet all hope is inexistant...
To whom I love most
'Tis such a concern...
Yet all shall be lost
Eternity spent by thyself...
Grieving solemnly for thee
For thy heart shall never be mine...

If I had to do it all over again...

And change the majority of my life...

I would leave a lot of it alone....

Because in my heart I'll always know...

Things happen for a reason....

If I had to do it all over again...

And change a dream or two...

I'd make a dream for me and you...

And do more for everyone else instead of myself...

Think of them before I think of me...

If I had to do it all over again...

Completely rearranging my life...

I would try my hardest to put more into all I do....

And make my goals a lil’ easier to reach...

And my dreams better understandable to others...

If I had to do it all over again...

Defeating all I never did before...

I'd fix my mind on overcoming my fears...

And teach myself that they really are not as bad...

As long as I don't make out my own fears to be so terrible...

If I had to do it all over again...

I'd live the past for me...

Surpassing it all for the life I have...

And appreciating my every breath that I breathe...

Simply this, if I had to do it all over again...

Appearance wise I may seem ruff, but I suppose a tiger must
But deep inside I'm really not
Calm and quiet is the way I am...
But don't get me mad ‘cause it's not a pretty sight
I'm confident about who I am
And nobody can change me from me
Curious about a thing or two
and if I trust you, to you I will be true
But don't you brake my faith in you, ‘cause then you'll lose
a friend or two
I'm self assured, and proud of me
Despite what others may think
Running my life the way I want it
Not letting others push it their way
But don't believe that I'm conceited, ‘cause that's just not the case
I'm proud to be me, and that's all there is
Sitting tall, and walking with inferiority
A sweet side is found within me
A tigers gotta'’ do what a tigers gotta' do
But don't you misjudge me when you see me, ‘cause
there's alot more to me than what you can see

Daydreaming of the past
Wishing for the future...
Lost forever till death
Unhappiness the destiny...
Losing all that was trusted
Trust never existing...
Faith unheard of
Hope forever vanished...
Misery bestowed upon
Fate of unforgiving...
Mislead by unreal goals
All is lost in the end...
Sitting alone in pain
Black heart filled with pure vain...

Today might be our last to live...
Yesterday might be our only memory...
Tomorrow might never come...
And what is left might never count...

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

If this second is your last...
Can you face your destiny?
What if today is all you have...
Will your life be fully complete?

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

Waiting for next year...
Which in the end might never arrive...
Putting off till tomorrow...
When today might be your final...

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

Taking every breath your breathe for granted..
Not appreciating what you have...
Pushing aside your commitments...
But what happens if this moments... your last?

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

Think about what must be done...
Putting off will do no good...
Be prepared for what might happen...
This day can always be your last...

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

You never know if there will be tomorrow...
Or if later will ever come...
Fate can make it's way to you..
And this second can be all you have left...

If this moment is your last...
Or you've breathed your final breath...
What if fate met with you...
And decided it's the end...

Quiet words...
Lonely thoughts...
Memories of the past...

Simple dream...
Wishful hope...
Loneliness in the future...

Patient child...
Fearful heart...
Sadness mixed with dispair...

Sorrowful eyes...
Tears of pain...
A broken heart remains...

Silent whispers...
Life with misery...
Love long Love with such vain...

Far in the distance...
Lost in the wind...
Spirits united yet left alone again...

Unsolveable mistry...
Dreary light...
Separated moment another’s delight...

Simple thoughts...
Time more unclear...
Love so strong but spirits are weak...

Devastating circumstance...
Overpowered by sin...
Destined to be alone impossible to win...

Fear of destiny
Fear of fate
Fear of being alone...

Fear of hate
Fear of envy
Fear of all the pain...

Fear of the enemy
Fear of vain
Fear of the loss of sanity...

Fear of tears
Fear of hope
Fear to go on once more...

Fear to live
Fear to die
Fear to face the truth...

Fear of dreams
Fear of reality
Fear of every day...

Fear of winning
Fear of losing
Fear of disappointment...

Fear of succeeding
Fear of failure
Fear of living life...

Slowly through the night she creeps
Careful not to make a sound
Down the stairs she tiptoes
Barefoot to the cold tile ground...

All across the house she walks
With a shadow of fear trailing her
Slowly she turns the knob of the door
Causing it to squeak in a sound of horror...

Through the cold night air she lurks
Not noticing how much she hurts
She cuts her foot on a piece of glass
Continuing to hope she'll reach her destination at last...

Through the nights cold fearful air she walks
While a gust of icy wind blows through her long black hair
Across the town she gracefully runs
Not knowing when her time will come...

Through the shadows
Away from the light
With a chilling silence about
The sleepwalker walks
Dressed solely in white...

Then she reached a treacherous gate...
And knew not hesitate
The gate was locked
But she doesn't care
A sign says trespass only if you dare...

She climbs not knowing what awaits her
And jumps down to the muddy grass
Stepping on it through the graveyard
To where she saw her love last....

She knelt by his grace
Yes wasn't the least bit afraid
With the cold night and the think gray fog
Then slowly at first then faster
The icy cold rain drops fall

The sleepwalker stays
In the cold night's rain
Although each drop
Brings such tremendous agony and pain...

A salty tear runs down her anguished face
And the sleepwalker pauses
Now realizing her fate
She slowly and calmly stands
With no fear in her heart
Believing that soon she and her love will never part again...

He reaches out with his freezing cold hand
And she places hers in his
Then slowly back to the dark night air they walk
Till they disappear into the silence
Their love was so strong and everlasting
That for him the sleepwalker sacrificed her life...

I wish it was true...
When I said I love you...

I never really noticed...
How much I need you...

I never really meant it when I said I love you
But now I realize I really do...

I wish it was true when I kissed you...
But I was a fool, and now I've lost you...

When I remember your voice...
it breakes my heart....

I thought we'd always be together...
that we'd never part...

When I tell you this...
it comes straight from my hear...

And in my soul...
we will never part....

When I dream about the good times and the bad...
I realize you were never sad...

When I remember all the great times we had...
I just can't help being mad about you not being here...

I thought we'd always be together...
that we'd never part...

When I think about your being gone...
I know we'll be together some day...

And when I dream of all that we had...
I tell myself we'll be together again...

Someday soon...
the day will come...

I thought we'd always be together...
that we'd never part...

I lay in the sun all day
It leaves my fur so warm
You can feel it when you pet me...
When I'm walking all stop to watch each graceful step I take with my dainty paws...
When I drink water...
Crystal clear drops stay on my whiskers...
When I purrrr...
You can hear the sound of my contentness from far away...
I love to chase the butterflies...
Try to catch them with a tiny pounce...
I carry myself like a queen...
Calm...
Proud...
Gracefully...
And mostly...
Like I am invincible...
A cats life is what I live...
My tasks are very important...
I am everything to my master...
I am part of my master's needs...
The need to relieve stress...
The need to feel loved...
And needed....
I am the cat...
That makes my masters happiness a reality...
I am of course...
The master's cat...

I never thought it possible
to find someone like you

I never could have imagined
that there was someone as great as you out there

I never believed I'd find someone
to good to be true

Yet destiny worked with fate
and led me to you

I never thought there could be a way
I'd find happiness once more

I never thought that someone could ever make me feel
the way that you tend to make me feel

I never imagined there could be someone
like you who care for and respects me

Yet God had it set
for you and I to unite

I never considered the good possibilities
that come after the hardest times in life

I never really dreamt of the future
and what could be waiting for me there

I never waited long enough
for my dreams to come true

Yet somehow all this changed
the second I met you

Pink and yellow
purple blue and green
multi-colored clouds from heaven
melt upon our tongues

The fluffy sugar
light enough to float
every perfect dream come true
builds up a child's hope

Cotten candy
the smell makes you melt
it sparkles in the light
leaving sticky fingers behind

Every time you take a bite...
you feel special deep inside
your mouth starts to water when you think about this treat
wrapped up on perfectly... around a paper cone

A treat that can't be anything...
but clouds from heaven...
pink and yellow
purple blue and green...
cotten candy sends everyone...
with a perfect dream

This is just to say...
I thought of you today...
While writing a paper in class..
That was on a subject you like...
It was hard and boring...
It didn't interest me much...

This is just to say...
I thought of you today...
While I sat there struggling to write a paper...
On a theme that you seem to love...
I sat there thinking about what to write...
Yet all I could think of was asking you for help...

This is just to say...
I thought of you today...
While I tried hard to write an annoying paper...
I'm sure you would have rather done than I...
I thought of you while writing...
This paper hard to make...
This is just to say... I really needed you today...

We don't always get along...
Actually we usually fight...
I stick out my tongue at you...
You make a silly face at me...

The two of you gang up on me...
Guys against the gal...
I try and smack you...
Yet you guys outdo me somehow...

We act as though we hate each other...
Yet we protect and take care of one another...
I worry about something ever happening to you...
You care when I get hurt...

We don't always get along...
Actually we usually fight...
I stick out my tongue at you...
You make a silly face at me...

We love each other greatly...
And we fight regularly...
I'm your sister, you're my brothers...
Us three forever to be best friends for life...

Lord... Please help make me ready...
Show me the right way to go...
Make me be prepared for what lies ahead of me in my life...
Prepare me for this journey I must make...
Make me ready to face my fears... and conquer them...
Make me ready to be able to live each day at a time...
To its fullest...
Make me ready to carry myself with the dignity and pride...
I have in me...
Make me ready to appreciate my past...
And the many memories I have...
Lord make me ready...
To face and live the rest of the life I have ahead of me...
And most importantly to be happy in it...
Lord help make me ready to live...

The words I said to you, were sealed with pure sincerity from my heart...

How could you have the cruelty to rip my heart apart with your words?

How can you act like my words and my feelings mean nothing?

Or maybe they are nothing...
Maybe they are just words...
No importance...
No meaning...
Feelings which are misleading me...

Deep down inside me, the love I feel for you grows larger...
With every second that passes by...
But yet somehow...
I can feel that this means nothing to you...

Sweet lies... that's all that came from you... lies that will tourment
us forever... oh the lies...

I gave you all my trust...
Trusted you with everything...
Everything... my mind... all my thoughts...
I trusted you with my heart and you broke it...

A heart shattered like a champaign glass dropped outside under the moonlight...
Braking into a thousand pieces at the instant it hits the ground...

I love you... those words echo in my head... yet I know there's no
meaning when they
were spoken by you...

You said being together was our destiny... yet now you act like those
words never left you...

You know I would give the world to you if I could...
But you continue to take the love I feel for you for granted...

How can you go by and act as though nothing happend?
The memories of your kiss... the kisses... which when I think of now...
Make the warm salty tears run down my face...

Tears of the love and paine I feel for you...
Tears that come from your good-byes... the many good-bye's said...

You have cause me to shed so many tears... time and time again...
they fall for you... for your words... for your lies...
Everything leaving us deceived... US... you and I... together... now
seperated due to thy mind...

Why must the mind always overpower the heart when it comes to love?
Love that feels so strong in the beginning... and even after it's
over... in the end... still lasts an eternity...

A lifetime together was imagined... but promises were ripped apart and
ended all possiblilties of this dream... our dream... which now ends
with two simple words that I will say to you know that will burn our
hearts forever...

Good-bye...

Every second of your past...
Should be found as some sort of memory...

all of us have memories
They are not always good, but they are there...
weather you wish to remember them or not...

they are strange really... Memories...
You really have no control on if they are made or not
They are there your entire life

Every day...
Every night
They are there...
Memories of everyday...
Memories of memories

It's funny how people seem to usually remember the bad
Vary rarely remember the good...

However, it seems that people rarely try to recall the bad...
Rather the good...
Why does bad always seem to out do the good?

Memories...
It's funny how they can make a person smile...
Or cry... or angry...
Each and every one of us have so many memories
Of everything... they are in everything...

Sometimes you wish you didn't have some of them...
Others you wish you had more...
Some of them hurt you so much... memories...
And others... they are the only thing that get you up in the morning...

Sometimes it is hard to sit there and remember them
And other times... they are all that run through your mind
They are all you can think of
Day in...
Day out...
Oh those memories...

Seperated by distance
Life in two different worlds

Ordinary day
Feelings were discovered

Unusual circumstance
Confused by fate

Love shining through
Two hearts united

Un-deciding mind
Thought deeply unclear

Visible destiny
Togther each day

Decision made by heart
The two united forever

Choices determined
Settled by fate

Why must dreams always be shattered?
Why must hearts always be broken...

Tears always fall...
A person is always left alone...

Why must we always get hurt?
Why is there always something in the way...

There is not always something you can do...
Life always throws you so much paine...

Why are lies always the key?
Why must we always trust those who hurt us...

The paine always lasts for an eternity...
The souls are always ripped apart...

Why is it always hard to hope?
Why are wishes always pushed aside...

We are always deceived...
Heart is always overpowered by the mind...

Why is love always filled with sorrow?
Why is it that tomorrow is always so far away...

It's always so easy to forgive...
Forgetting is always the impossible...

I see a bird flying freely above me
I hear it chirping in the distance
It's just so full of life

I can see the wind blowing
The trees... and the grass sway gracefully...
I can feel it moving around me... free...
no rules... no expectations

A lady bug stops to rest on a single peak of grass
It seems carefree and happy
As it flies away I wonder what is must be like to fly
To be near the clouds... with all the true beauty

The sun is so bright... warm... not hot, but warm...
Warm enough to make a person comfortable
And just want to lie there, and feel it on you...
Lay there with your eyes closed... and dream

It smells so good... life... Everything is fresh...
It's funny how you never notice these details which are the best...
How good it feels to sit outside on a warm spring day
A day that when you think about it, is really truly perfect...

The perfect spring day...
The sounds you hear when you close your eyes
The way the sun feels on your skin
The smell of the grass... and the way it pricks you just a little...

The way it gently moves when the wind blows
The way the wind winds itself in your hair
And blows the scents right into your face
And the way it is just cool enough to make you really enjoy the sun

The perfect spring day...
You can find one everyday if you let yourself find it
The day the sun makes you feel like you're in heaven
And the wind... makes you relax and lets your mind race...
When the birds are the only music you need...
And life... its what gives you that smile and warm feeling...

Fear you are no longer my shadow...
I can live on my own...
For myself...
Without help... I am strong...
I don't need to be afraid of my past...
I can live...
For myself...
Not for YOU...
You may no longer tie me down by my soul...
I am free...
Without you...
I can be me and only me...
And not fear those around me...
And their thoughts...
Thoughts of paine and anger...
And hate...
Always with hate...
Hate...
The single small word that is powerful enough to kill...
A word to cause you to suffer...
Hate...
It is our light...
Not our darkness that most frightens us...
We are more afraid of what's there...
Than that of what is not there...
We fear more the making of memories...
Than the memories themselves...
We fear more the past and future...
Than the present...
Which in itself holds just as many questions and fates...
We fear our dreams and their meanings...
We fear hate...
And yet at the same time...
Could it be love we fear the most?
We fear our words and our thoughts...
We fear our paine and sufferings that may come from this life....
And for some...
Life itself is what is feared the most...
But yes...
I know now that I don't need you fear...
To survive...
I can live my life on my own...
I don't need you fear...
I don't need you...
I can live my life as my own...
I don't need you...
I can live for me...
I don't need you...
I don't need you...
I don't need you...

I promise you...
I'll be there,
For everything you need

I promise you...
I'll be honest,
In everything I say

I promise you...
I'll never leave,
Your heart to break again

I promise you...
I'll make you smile,
Whenever you are sad

I promise you...
I'll help you out,
In all the good and bad

I promise you...
My heart is yours,
Always just for you

I promise you...
I love you,
My life if lived for you

I wish I had a way to say to you, all that my mind's been thinking
The way I feel for you, is impossible for words to say

I give you all my heart and soul
entrust you with my life

What makes life seem worthwhile
Impossible to explain or understand

You're what makes my life complete
My dreams come true with you

My heart was captured by your smile
Lost in love for all you do

Life's destiny opened my eyes
Fate led me into your arms

Devotion will keep me tied to you
All goals will soon be reached

Each and every fear I had is lost all thanks to you
Happiness, forever filled with our passion and trust

I know that you're my angel
God sent from above

He knew that you would care for me
That you would be the one I love