something i've been meaning to tell you
Do you even see
the way I'm looking at you
when we're talking
and we're hanging out and we're in your car
and you're laughing and we
sing along and I'm trying so hard...
Am I trying too hard?
You're telling me about
your day and your eyes are
shining with that
pale
blue light
and your warmth and compassion radiate
and warm me and
I'm happy and warm
but i'm still cold because
I think you know but
I think you don't know
and I can't
tell you and I can't help
myself when I want to
tell you.
"I think I'm going to throw away
everything
we have" but I can't
stand anymore
of the shuffle of my feet and the
dry whisper of my voice when
I say your name
and when I hear your name I feel
the rock in my stomach
grow until
I can't take in another piece of
the granite that cuts my throat
when I try to say
those words that I've said before but
you still don't hear me at all.