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My Poems


These were added on June 1, 2000. The date that they were written you will also find. =)

* * *
Written June 1, 2000
*CONTRADICTION*©
Got to hold on
Got to let go
Got to say yes
Got to say no
Contradiction
It's all I'm feeling in my heart
Contradiction
Running around in my mind
How to say yes
How to say no
How to walk away and shut the door
How to hold on
How to let go
How to take you in my arms and tighten my hold
Contradiction
Seizing my soul
Contradiction
Capsizing my head
Close the door
Open the window
Let out my love
Welcome my pain
Just wish I knew what to do
Wish I knew how to feel
It's only contradiction
Filling my whole life
Contradiction
Making me pay the price
Written November 2, 1999
*I HAVE SO MUCH ON MY MIND*©
I have so much on my mind
What did I find?
What does it all mean?
Something is bothering me
but I can't seem to figure out what it is
What are You trying to tell me about this?
Is the doubt that I have all right?
Do I try to hide it with all my might
and not know that I am doing it?
And does love actually exist?
I was so sure up until now
I mean, you're not actually around
I will admit that I am scared
You were all I ever needed but you never cared
Now I have someone else
So much pain I have put through myself
But only to lead me to this doubt
What could this dream possibly be about?
Am I blowing it all out of proportion?
Is He testing all my emotions?
Will I know all the answers when I wake up tomorrow?
Or will I still be bathed in my sorrow?
My heart is telling me one thing
But, what do I believe?
Please, God, don't let this depression last
Please, answer me fast
I swear I love him
Is this all a sin?
Confusion leads to depression
Depression leads to confusion
I need reassurance
Maybe if I see his face in just a glance
I'll know how I really feel
But, maybe, I should just disappear


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All Poems by ©Christi Bickart
Please do not copy.
Thank you and have a good day/night=)