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Chapter One -- The Beginning




The first part of the story.
Chapter 1: The Beginning

One day, Satan’s Dim-Witted Minion, otherwise known as SDWM (and no, she’s not a singles ad) or Starlet, and the Busty Lawn Gnome (aka GG) had a very unusual happening. Now, this was not your typical unusual happening, otherwise it wouldn’t have been unusual, now, would it? Anyhow, Starlet and GG were ambling about the gym where they both took martial arts and gymnastics, respectively, when all of a sudden--

[Pauses for commercial break. Wouldn’t want this to get too exciting before rudely cutting it off, now, would we?]

When all of a sudden--OBOM! A diminutive female wizard dressed in azure and silver robes appeared. {At this point, you may be wondering about the “OBOM” exclamation as opposed to the traditional “BOOM.” This particular wizard is slightly dyslexic and tends to screw up the order of letters in words...She’s not stupid by any means, but her condition is quite humerous at times and is known as “Yaichik” [YAY’-shik]. Also, I know wizards are all male, but this wizard, Kwail, is just special. More about her later.}

“What in toads, er, frogs names am I doing here?” Kwail asked zestfully.
“Um, I don’t know exactly. Who are you?” GG and Starlet replied.
“I am the piquant Kwail, of the Jiah line of wizards.”
“But I thought all wizards were male,” GG asked, being the blonde that she is. “Do I look male to you?” asked Kwail.
“Well, no, not exactly…” GG mumbled dejectedly.
“There you go then. I am not a man. So there.”

GG and Starlet, totally disappointed that Kwail wasn’t some really fine guy, decided to just kind of try to forget about her, which probably wasn’t the best of ideas, not that they ever have good ideas together anyway, but….

Continuing on…

When Kwail got wind of their idea to forget about her, she threw a temper tantrum and screamed and stomped her feet and yelled. Thank God no innocent adolescent males were nearby, otherwise they would have been horribly disfigured.

{NOTE: When Kwail gets angry, she severely injures adolescent males with her sharp, catlike fingernails.}

After the temper tantrum subsided and Kwail calmed down somewhat, she got the novel idea of giving GG and Starlet some espresso beans covered in dark chocolate and absolutely loaded with caffeine. Big mistake. The next day at school, the girls shared the coffee beans with a great number of people, thereby causing half the school to become awfully hyper. Class was fun, but I’m sure the teachers didn’t enjoy it much, especially when PQ got ahold of some espresso beans. PQ is extremely hyperactive anyway, and teachers have somewhat of a difficult time controlling him, but he’s really an easy-going, fun-loving kid.

What the girls didnt know, however, was that the beans contained a sort of potion intended to make them crime-fighting superheroes. Just kidding. The coffee beans were normal.

The sheer normalicy of the beans upset the girls, and they were intent on complaining to Kwail the next time they saw her.
"We want special coffee beans!" they yelled.
"Whadda ya mean, *special*?" Kwail replied.
"The coffee beans should do something nifty, not just be stupid normal coffee beans!" exclaimed Starlet.
"Well, forgive ME for giving you normal food."
"You're forgiven...that is, if you do us a favor." GG said.
"Oh no." Kwail moaned. GG and Starlet were known for their outlandish expectations, especially regarding favors.