It's infiltrated with Yahoo.

I'm conjuring up a hammock.

"Yeah, and like, there were these horrendous doughnut lines at SafeWay..." ~Abby

...the cold wrath of your mother.

And I say unto you, my nameless, broken child, this unfortunate by-product of ill-advised breeding shall be wailing and moaning while he is roasted over poisonous, spitting coals. While you are favored in heaven's high, this filthy rodent will be nestled in Beelzebub's palm, worshipping the horn of death. ~eCRUSH

You can't steal stolen barrettes. ~Star

Everyone has an inner duck.

I swear, the lemons stink!
~Star, discussing bathroom cleaner

Damn shucks!

"I will simply render the secret knock, and we will be welcomed by the native machinery."
~The Brave Lil Toaster ~Abby

Ass away ~I'm not at liberty to say who this is credited to...

The String Cheese Incident (a band)

At least I don't have the personality of a wet dish cloth ~South Park ~Aaron

"Gaps!" ~Abby, trying to exclaim, "Gasp!"

"Watch out for the frenchy poo fag nasties!" ~South Park ~Aaron

The tendrils of Satan himself will embrace her into his lair in the next world. ~eCRUSH

That's it. I've reached my breaking point. I can't handle it anymore, I've just got to testify to all the men in the audience: Stop taking your first dates to fast-food restaurants, you incompetent thumbscrews! If you take your date to such establishments, all she will be impressed by is your cheapness and the gluttinous layers of fat gathering around your perpetually sitting, lazy ass! What's the matter, you can't wait through 15 minutes of dinner-table conversation to eat your meal? So you have to pull up to Cholesterol King and order a Heat Lamp Deluxe With Cheese, scarf it down your throat so you have more time to get your girl to your trash-littered dump and try her into having some McLovin' (which I assume is just like your meal: hastily prepared, over with quickly and, for her, deeply unsatisfying)... Listen, if money's the problem, take her to your kitchen, light a candle on the table, and make some tuna sandwiches. At least she'll know you have an ironic sense of humor.
For the love of Ronald McDonald, stop! -- eC

You guys change partners more often than
square dancers with attention deficit disorder. -- eC

"I hope you rot in someplace unpleasant." ~Yaicha

"Yellow...Grape...Orange"......."Yellow....Grape....Orange"......"Heyyyy, wait! Yellow isn't even a flavor!"........................."Yellow....Grape....Orange"...
~Yaicha, Abby and I discussing fruit snack "flavors"

"Oh my GOD you guys bought pineapple choppers?" ~Star

"For the last time, I LIKE SHIMMER!" ~Brien

Damn the typo demons ~Aaron

"Lemme look at the bagels. I had it when I looked at the bagels." ~Star

"What? Free gifs?" ~Our dear Abigail

"You know, this sunrise would make a great background for a gif..."
~Me, commenting on a sunrise at 5am after not sleeping at all the night before

asjdkleef ~Abby at a loss for words while typing.

I'm a monron. ~Aaron, trying to call himself a moron.

"Iam jest writen' daown maw po-ten-shul thangs..."
(TRANSLATION: I'm just writing down my potential things)~Star

"I'M A *DIMP*!!!" ~Abby

"I need a gnome suit."
"I think I want to be a bat."
~Abby and I, discussing Halloween

"YOU CAN'T POKE MOZART!"
~A very distressed band substitute teacher, attempting to
explain the lack of staccato-ness in music by Mozart.

"You fed him Oompas." ~Evil Orange

"You sound like a line." ~Pikkle ::looks upward::

My mouth hurts like an ass! ~Rebel

"Rectal verbicide." ~Ow Shoep Menat's comment about the above statement.
(FYI: verbicide is using words out of context...Literally means, 'word killing'.)

"Try going left at the 5th dimension. You'll get found eventually." ~N3o T@ils

"Every life should have a soundtrack." ~Pikkle
"Yeah, and mine currently says 'Please turn over to the other side.'" ~N3o T@ails

I keep going back and forth. I am going back now, and I should be forth very soon. ~Shotgun Messiah

"Oh, how I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt, and ironed it." ~N3o T@ils

In many ways, you're unboring. ~Shotgun Messiah

Oh, look!!! They're all conjugating! ~Rebel
(she meant "congregating")

I hate that feeling. I want to warm up, but
then I do, and I get overly hot, but I'm still cold.
~Abigail, discussing body temperatures

Sadly enough, it was the first think that popped into my head.
~Tinkerbell, not intending to use bad grammar.

My breasts are ruining the whole image. ~Star

Wonderbra was created for girls like us who like to mosh.
~Star, discussing Tony's "Youre gonna f**k your s**t up"
comment about she and I moshing during dances.

Small people have weird fetishes. ~Dan

"She's a...flag-o-philiac..." ~Tinkerbell

"Yeah, kind of like when we were Aztecs in Europe, and we killed humans."
~Star, not realizing that none of us have
Aztec heritage, and that Aztecs lived in like, Mexico.

I think oatmeal is like a bike. ~Aaron

Oh this is gay. I can't find the year that
Pepin the Short became king. ~Abby, actually *doing* homework

"There was this huge black man in front of the door...he
was like, black...and huge..." ~Yaicha, describing a bouncer

"Cheese. Gun. Pow. Shoot cheese." ~Stormy Winter, age 7

You're forgiven. They have potato wedges.
Ah, what I wouldn't give for potato wedges. ~Tinkerbell

"Pink Starbursts are pink." ~sAtAn, intending to inform
me that strawberry starbursts are pink.

"It's okay. I'm not being squeebly anymore." ~Dan

I'm gonna let a bust run over my head.
~Piss, a victim of the typo demons (he meant "bus")

I was a general in the Jellyfish navy and everybody had
to call me Sir Jelly Fish. It made me want to drug up some old
people and have them shoot up a day-care. ~Dan

Please, no spiffies around me. ~Scott

I am a nostril. Please do not rape.
I am fragile, and I can break very easily. ~Dan

"Which would you rather wrestle in, jello, or mud?"
"Jello." "Why Jello?" "Jello's kinkier."
"Mud can be kinky!" ~Star and Mariya

"I'll just tell them you're performing
a sacrificial lambing." ~Corinne, about Dan

"I'm gonna make like Swiss almonds..." ~Max's departing statement

Aww, shit. I'm bleeding. ~Cody

"You looked like an easter egg." ~Pikkle
"I did not." ~Abby
"Okay, so you looked like an anorexic easter egg." ~Coach Kristy
(a look at us weirdos at gymnastics)

"Gingivitis was a happy bubble!" ~Star

"Ahh, Abby's goin' to Hell..." ~Todd

"I suck." ~Dan
"Well, I guess Todd's the only one that can attest to that..."
~Abby (and just for the record, neither guy is gay. It was totally a joke.)

"Yeah, I was microwaved as a child." ~Pikkle

"You can't re-go over a hand turkey!" ~Dan

Who knows, you might not be able to count beyond four, and see
a different perception of rhinos after summer... ~n3o t@ils

"I can't do that 'phone-on-the-shoulder' thing. I'm
Captain Retardo when it comes to that." ~Dan

"Are you never not un-slackish-like?" ~Star, to Billy

Hamsters don't make good rollerskates

Call me crazy one more time, and I'll eat your other eyeball. ~JonesSoda.com

Avoid fruits and nuts... You are what you eat. ~JonesSoda

Don't follow my footsteps--I run into walls. ~JonesSoda

When in doubt, climb a tree. ~JonesSoda

"Thewe ith a fiwtht time fow ebething"
(TRANSLATION: There is a first time for everything)
~Dan, at night, holding a flashlight in his mouth, killing slugs

"I used to have two schizophrenic VCRs, but I
beat one to death with a wheel." ~Cody

If you want to check out some hilarious typing mistakes my
friends and I have made, go to my Typos page.