Band Interview

Deborah Nicolai Heller

by Stephanie Anne Dispoto
Did you love -- or dislike -- living there?
I LOVED it. The city was great for me because I was very busy. I loved all there was to do. I have very fond memories of crawling down the ramp at the Guggenheim Museum and all around the Met. I spent a great deal of time in the museums and galleries. My parents were both pretty bohemian so there was a lot of art, theater and music. I spent a lot of time in Washington Square park (in the fountain)  because both my parents played in the folk music circles. There seemed to always be groups of their friends and them playing music. Sometimes in the house, sometimes in the park.

When you left home for the first time, did you attend college, to work, or, like many of us, go out in the world to  "discover" yourself?
Well, I kind of left and came home several times.  My mom is really cool. She always welcomed me and my brother back to a safe place.  We moved out of the city and to Connecticut when I was almost out of high school, so I began heading back into New York to see my friends. I moved in to a store front on Spring Street when I was just out of high school to go work at a club called CBGB's and go to college at FIT. I traveled bits and pieces after that, but I think the first big  "discovery"  was taking myself alone through  Europe for two and a half months. I just packed up one bag and borrowed money and went. It was one of the most important things I had ever done. I had to take care of myself very far from home. I was in my very early 20's and full of so much I wanted to do and experience. I think I should have called it the Chocolate tour. Europe has great chocolate stuff!!!

I met wonderful people, but had some very scary moments, ( 3 am in the middle of Rome on my way home from an Opera, running from crazy fixated cabbies at dusk in Athens), and self discovery literally every single day. I learned so much about myself and life and people. I made new friends and saw incredible beauty. So over overwhelming, I cried a couple of times.

If you had to describe yourself, what would you say?
Hmmmm. I am definitely an optimist. I am sure there is usually a way to get anything you want, and if I am flexible enough, I think some dreams can come true. I see beauty in absolutely everyone and everything somewhere. It might not be that obvious but I know it is there. Sometimes there's more in one person than another. I am very busy. I always have more projects going than I can handle.  I can be flighty about it. Sometimes they get done and sometimes they are on the back burner. I have 3 film projects in the works right now and two books I am writing, not to mention a five month old baby! Sometimes it is a miracle I can get out of bed at all anymore. I can't describe myself in physical terms. The stuff that makes a person real is on the inside and your level of compassion. The feelings and memories we all carry around, the way we love and are loved in return, those are the things that describe a person. And those are the things that matter in the beginning and in the middle and at the end of it all. No eulogy ever began or end with..., "She was skinny and bleached blonde and had a great nosejob..."

How did you meet your husband David?
David and I met in EPCOT. My dad was there doing a job for 2 weeks and my sister and brother and I had very obnoxious "been there done that" attitudes so we all decided to wander around the parks alone. My brother is like a chick magnet, no joke, so he was promptly off on his own. My sister and I were making a beeline for the sno-cone machine outside of Japan in EPCOT, (sno-cones are my life, ask anybody in the DJB) and she said she heard live music, so we wandered over and there was Davy Jones Band doing what they do best.

Long story short, we all met up, me, my brother, sister, David, Sandy and Dave Alexander and went out 2 nights later and that was that. David and I basically ignored everyone else and for me at least,  the whole world melted into a fuzzy thing.... (or was that the Vodka?)  It was really love at first sight for me. I just saw so much beauty in him, I can't tell you. He is an incredible person. His creativity, intelligence and soulful nature. He loves music so much. He lives to play guitar. He also has a passion for impressionist painting as well as other art. We have a lot in common. We spent most of our time talking about museums and travel the first night we hung out. He is the sweetest man I have ever known. We couldn't stand to be apart so I began going out on the road. I think I missed  like 2 out of 35 shows, or something like that. It really racked up the frequent flyer miles!

Obviously, this is how you came to know Davy Jones -- tell us a little about getting to know him.
Knowing Davy well came with all the travel. There is a lot of downtime on the road and we all tend to spend it together. We're very good friends and I consider him to be a very funny, intelligent sweet man. For me, he is a very easyperson to get along with. He is gracious beyond measure. A true gentleman in every sense of the word. He never ceases to amaze me with his stories of life. He is extremely observant and he remembers everything. I think he might be one of the only people I have ever known to have more ideas and projects in his head than I do. And he makes me laugh so hard it hurts. It's like he has lived a thousand lives and he has a thousand and fifty more to go. He is full of wonder like a boy and full of wisdom like a man. His compassion is seemingly endless.

Was acting always your goal, or do you have another hidden talent that you haven't been able to fully devote yourself to?
Acting came very naturally to me, because it was THE best way to entertain my family in the living room at holidays, making up little skits with my cousin Becky and frankly, it came in handy when I felt like skipping school and sleeping in, or getting to sit in the front seat of the car, or getting through a visit with people I didn't have much fondness for.

It was really great for getting out of stuff at school, like when I had been up all night and forgot to do my homework.  To say I was creative would be an understatement. I swear there are teachers out there that actually still think I have a homework eating dog. It helped mostly when my dad left my mom and me and my brother. That was a really bad time. The divorce was bitter and dragged on. They fought all the time and I remember crying a lot. Fantasy worlds were a great place to spend time while all that was going on.

What is the best -- and worst! -- acting experience you have ever had?
The best was and is definitely my relationship with the cast and crew of NYPD Blue. I have been involved with the show for the past 5 years. When they shoot in NYC I am on set everyday, and have traveled to LA to shoot as well. These guys are THE BEST in the business. The cast from Dennis Franz on down are incredible people and the Crew on that show is second to none. It is like a family. We all get along and working is a breeze because everyone is a true professional. There are no egos to be found on that set. I have never experienced that kind of thing on that level anywhere else.

My worst experience is a tie between working on a TV show called "The Division" and working on a film called "Summer of Sam" For pretty much the exact opposite reasons as stated above. I really hate when egos take over and people behave unprofessionally to make themselves feel safe or like "big man on Campus" It the same in organizations too, like in bands, the cast of a show, an office, nearly anywhere.

What actor do you admire the most and why?
That is a very difficult question for me. But I think I have to say Jodie Foster. She has a career that involves incredibly versatile roles, childhood roles, adult roles, difficult parts with real meat. She has tackled all her roles so thoroughly and so very well. She is also a very talented Director. She has this career that spans a lifetime and still you never hear a single gossip notice on her (she was the original Coppertone baby on the billboards where the little dog was pulling down her bikini bottoms to reveal a sunburn). You know she has had a life during her career, but you rarely hear about it and even when she had a baby without a visible partner, there was very little fuss made. She is a true class act. And that term should be used carefully. Real class is quite rare.

I have to make honorable mention to my other favorite actor, Vincent Price. I admire him in a different way. His work just moves me. He captures my attention like no other actor and I can't put in to words very well why that is. I think because he made a very big impression on me from childhood. He scared me to death and still he had this way of making me feel safe. Kind of like a cool father figure. He was a great actor in the Shakespeare sense of great stage acting, and yet he did all these shlocky films, which I love! Especially the Poe series. He was also a great chef, world traveler and museum quality art collector. He was a very refined and well educated man and that made him, in my eyes, a fantastic actor. Even in his goofiest roles in wacky horror movies, he would bring all of that in to the mix. He treated the part with respect and he did a great job. I don't think he thought that anything was beneath him and I have a lot of admiration for that.

Is there one particular role, either film, TV or on the stage, that you would love to portray?
I have always wanted to play "Lucy" in 'DRACULA' either stage or screen version. I think she is a vastly under rated character and much more interesting than nearly every other role in the play. To me, her character has never been portrayed as fully as she could be.

When acting, do you think that being married and having a child, helps you as an artist in how you capture the essence of the person you are portraying?
Everything helps you as an artist. We are the sum of all our experiences and it can only help when I am reaching to find a common ground with my character, that I have a basis to start from. The rest can be made up as you go along.

Are you working right now, or staying at home with Jacob full-time or staying home with Jacob AND working?
I am staying home with Jacob full time and although I can't be on a set for 12 hours at this time, I am in pre-production for a short film that I have been working on for over a year (9/11 put a fast halt on the project); I am also involved in Project Greenlight screen writing.

Can you tell us about Project Greenlight?
Project Greenlight is a joint venture between HBO and Mirimax films. It is a contest for aspiring screenwriters and directors. I am penning a script for the writing and trying to direct a little something for the director part.

I think my writing is stronger, I don't think I can direct, but I like to challenge myself.  Especially if it scares me. Then I REALLY have to jump in head first, just to see what will happen. I can't stand letting my fears rule me. It makes me crazy. I'd rather fail for trying, than never try it. Except skydiving. I think it's insane to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Your thoughts on 9-11?
It is so weird. The whole thing was so surreal. My sense of permanence was shattered that day

I watched nearly  all of it live. I turned on CNN just after the 1st plane hit and I was glued until after 11 am, when I got so freaked out, I went to the store and did the battery/water/food thing.  David was much calmer, but very angry. I was already 3 months pregnant and I was thinking of places to run where we would be safe.

We have a town beach at the Connecticut house and you can see all of Manhattan from it. I went there the next day and saw the pillars of smoke. I have gone through a lot of different thoughts since then, but the most haunting for me is that the city that I was born and raised in doesn't feel safe to me anymore.

New York City to me, felt so permanent, and that feeling went with the towers that day.

What's an important lesson you have learned over the years?
Never under estimate the power of denial.

...the best advice you've ever received?
You can fool all of the people all of the time if you are wearing a great pair of heels.  No, I am just kidding! I think there are tons of em.  But if I have to choose one...Never take a photograph you don't want to see on the cover of the Enquirer, and never say anything about anyone that you would not be willing to say to their face. And when all else fails...Chocolate (Works for all occasions)!