February 17, 2002

I have decided to write on the page as I talk to Ed on AOL. He's got a new band, Deaf Blind Dumb. Maybe they'll actually write some songs and we'll have a band to play shows with. Speaking of completeing songs, AOSOG has 3 completely finished and 2 works in progress. Not bad considering we've finally just now settled on the official members, except our bassist Jay. I don't where he stands, but hopefully he decides that we have something and sticks with us.

It's impossible to write songs with Kyle. The guy has no passion for music. All he wants is to get famous and that's a problem because it's damn near impossible to get to that level of success without loving what your doing. Kyle never seems to be on the same page as me and Tony, I mean he never wants to play the songs to perfection, which means we have to practice them over and over, that's apart of being in a band. He has no work ethic for what it's gonna take to get to the level of success he wants to achieve. We all want it, but at least me and Tony are realistic about it.

Tony and me work perfectly off each other. I just wish we could write songs together as a band. When me and Tony write, just the two of us, it's on. Shit gets done. When we try to write with Kyle, it all gets fucked up. He's too much of a distraction to be around. Me,Tony,and Ed believe in artistic expression. Kyle just wants to be famous, plain and simple. Even Ed knows this because it's all Kyle ever talked about when me and Ed would talk music. His constant racism annoys the fuck outta me too. Kyle hates everyone that isn't white, and for no fucking reason. It's ridiculus. But whatever, he's our drummer and were all gonna have to adapt to each other if this bands gonna work.

Anyway, about the songs. "Face in the Dark" is the first song we completed. It's about dreaming away the pains of reality and self examination. I take this stuff very seriously, my lyrics are my life. "Breathe" is my favorite, melodically and emotionly, I feel every note and word. This is everyones favorite, except Kyles, cuz he never gives us any input on what he thinks about anything we do. "Fade Away" is kind of an outcast anthem for anyone who feels rejected. Me and Tony wrote it together , which is a first, and Tony's punk roots really shine throughout, especially in the Chorus: "Don't bring us down/Just let us be/Don't take away/Our self-esteem". It's an acoustic song, sord of ballady, but good. Tony and I usually write all the songs as acoustics first before translating them to Electric. It works out better.

Just wanted to get some sh-t off my chest.See ya later...