He needed a drink! Desperately!
This day had been nothing but pure hell ever since the moment he opened his eyes in the morning. Now he needed something to relax him. Tiredly Kevin ran a hand across his face while trying to decide what he should do about the situation that they were getting themselves involved in. Talking to AJ and Howie heīd been very settled on disobeying Lou's orders but now he wasnīt so sure anymore. There was a strong possibility that if he acted too much against the management's wishes he would be kicked out of the group and that was not something he could afford to do. Not even for someone like Nick.
Yet there was no way that he could let the kid get dragged to a dinner party in the condition he was in right now. That would be much too inhuman. The possibility of staying with him was pretty much worn out too and no matter how he tried to save the situation and mostly Nick he would end up as a looser. The trick was to know where he would loose the most.
After getting back from the guys heīd walked back to Johnny in a hope of trying to talk some sense into him but came back empty handed. The black manager had told him that he understood the situation but as it was right now he couldnīt let Nick off even if he himself thought it would have been a wise decision. According to Johnny, Lou had been very firm in his quest that ALL boys were expected to attend the dinner party. There were too many hotshots from the business to pass up such an opportunity.
Kevin's only shot was to get Johnny to understand that Trans con would look bad if Nick did something like barf all over the place or pass out. But it could turn out to be futile too as Lou rarely budged a bit and Johnny was just the guy that followed the orders. It would be another dead end!
As if things were not bad enough heīd tried calling Kristin to talk about what had happened earlier just to be met with the answering machine. He hadnīt left a message since he didnīt know what to say. Somehow sorry didnīt seem to cut it and heīd hung up, intended to call later on.
Scanning the small minibar in his room he searched for something to drink. Anything that could take away the pain that he felt deep inside. The grief of loosing the woman that he loved was becoming too much and to tell the truth the entire reason for deciding to put his ass out for Nick wasnīt just because the teen was unwell. No, it was probably more cause he couldnīt cope with meeting that many people tonight. Tending to a sick kid was all he could handle right now.
Pulling out a small bottle of scotch he poured it into his glass and then took a large gulp. It tasted strong and burned his tastebuds as it went down into his stomach. Strangely there was a comforting feeling too and for a moment he toyed with the idea of getting really drunk. Plastered and then see what Lou had to say about it.
But that would be too immature and the guys depended on him. At first this big brother image, daddy figure, was something that the media as well as the management had set upon him. But as the years past something had changed. Being the oldest in the group left him with lots of responsibilities and even if the other guys, especially Nicky, got on his nerves he still loved and cared for them. Today at the interview he had slipped. Heīd been rude to Nick for no reason what so ever. It was like the teen got a touch of his own bad mood and this had him without even suspecting that Nick felt sick teasing him infront of the camera. The reporter had been right. He was rude and he had no reason to be.
Taking another taste of the drink he was disturbed by a knock on the door. "Come in" he yelled not bothering to go and open it.
The door opened and AJ let himself into the room. "Sorry to bother you but..." he stopped himself, "What? Are you drinking?" He sat down on the bed next to Kevin who moved over to the armchair instead.
"Kinda." Kevin waved with his hand, "Ok go on.."
"I just wanted to let you know that I think its very stupid of you to risk your neck for Nick, you know. But at the same time great too" Kevin frowned as the younger man fidgeted as he said the words. Without waiting for any answer he continued, "Why the hell are you drinking Kev? I mean itīs not like you to take a drink and werenīt you supposed to go and see how Nick and Brian were doing? At least that was what you told us before you left."
Kevin sighed, feeling defeated. "For the first itīs my business if I drink or not. Second yes Iīm on my way to talk to B and Nick. But right now I wanted a moment of peace and quiet and that I still do." He hoped that AJ would get the drift.
But he didnīt.
"So what are you going to do then? Talk with Lou again or Johnny or what?"
Feeling pressed and not knowing what to say or do Kevin snarled back, "I have no idea, but if you could leave me alone maybe I would have some time to think something out."
"Like what?" AJ opened the minibar too and pulled out a small liquor bottle. As he was about to open it Kevin yelled at him, "Donīt touch that one."
Surprised but also a bit hurt over getting treated like a kid AJ looked at him, "Whatīs the matter with you today? I was just going to take a taste when you started to yell at me."
"You canīt drink and you know it. Your underaged."
AJ snorted. "Bah."
"Besides you have to go to that dinner and be presentable and.." He was cut off by the angry rebel.
"And what Kev? What do you want me to do? Sit there with a bunch of suits pretending that Iīm having the time of my life?" His voice rose an octave, "Do you have any freaking idea how freaking tired I am tonight? And tomorrow we have a show to do," he snapped. "Man management is running us all too hard and itīs no wonder that Kaos is getting sick again. Hell weīve been on break for just a week and now weīre back on the road again. Iīm telling you that it has to stop or we will all break down."
Kevin looked at his younger friend. There were not many times when such heated words about the situation at hand had came across his lips. It surprised him that the teen was feeling that way. "And what do you want me to do about all this then?" he asked tiredly.
"Nothing Kev..you canīt do a damn thing that is why I think itīs stupid of you to risk your ass for Nick in the way youīre doing now."
Kevin sat silent for a while, rolling the scotch in his glass. Putting the glass down on the table he asked, despair evident in his voice, "I loose whatever I do. I mean I canīt just ignore the fact that Nicky is in no shape to go to a dinner party and if Johnny is too stupid or too blind to notice at least someone has to act and do something about it!" His tone was heated.
AJ picked up the phone handing it to Kevin, "Make that call then. Tell Johnny how bad off you think Nick is and all that crap."
The older man looked at the rebel. "You donīt think I have tried to tell him that?"
"Yeah I do, but apparently not hard enough since he didnīt budge" He pressed the phone into Kevin's hand, "Call him. Johnny ain't so bad. Heīll listen."
"Maybe to you..but sure as hell not to me."
The younger boy frowned, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You tell me..Iīm not the one that is dating his daughter" Kevin sneered.
"So?" AJ cocked his head to the side. "Besides what does that have to do with anything?"
Kevin looked him sternly in the eye, "Heck Jay donīt come and say that it doesn't matter. He is practically your father in law!"
"He is not!" Now AJ was starting to get mad over the road the conversation was taking. "Whatīs the matter with you today?"
"What do you mean?" Kevin asked taking another mouth of the scotch, swishing it around in the mouth before the strong liquid seeped it space in the stomach.
"Youīve been like a bitch all day. Bitching and nagging about everything" The older man opened his mouth to speak when AJ cut him short. "What you were saying to Nick was pretty uncalled for too and youīve been acting like something is eating your ass all day" Looking at his friend he continue, "Whatīs wrong? Did something happen?"
"NO!" Kevin's words came a little too fast for AJīs liking. The rebel frowned, not believing him.
"Yeah right!"
Kevin looked him sternly in his eyes, "Nothing happened and nothing is wrong. And even if it was you wouldnīt be the one to hear about it."
Not satisfied with the answer AJ pressed on. "I donīt believe you. Youīre the one that is drinking before going to work and even if you can be a true bitch sometimes Kev, itīs not like you to act this stressed" Noticing the older man shifting uncomfortable in his chair he asked, "Did something happen before you left? With Kristin?"
The older man jerked upon mentioning the words. What was AJ? Some kind of mind reader? "No" he said this time slower, "I told you before and I'll tell you again, nothing is wrong with me. Iīm just tired and have a lot on my mind thatīs all."
"Itīs about Nick or..??"
He was cut off by Kevin who said annoyed, "Not everything is about Nick you know. I donīt know what youīre playing at Jay but whatever it is do me a favor will ya. Stop acting like a shrink!"
"Okay," AJ held up a hand in defense, "Dude just don't go pissy on me" Looking at Kevin he continued, "But you know dude that if there is something eatin' ya, you know you can always turn to daddy Bone with your problems" He grinned widely at Kevin's annoyed _expression.
"When hell freezes over!"
"Man you sure are a happy face today!" It was said with a sarcastic tone and it was the last thing that had Kevin keep his calm posture together
"That's it I donīt need you coming into my room telling me what a bitch I am today. If you donīt like it..then you can get the hell out of here" He pointed to the door, "You know your way out."
Surprised over the sudden outburst AJ stood up, "Ok Kev if you wanna be a nag..then be one but donīt come blaming me when you do something to fuck it all up!" With that he slammed the door hard behind him.
"Punk" Kevin muttered quietly as he opened another bottle of scotch. He was sick and tired of it all and didnīt care what the result would be. Nick and the rest of the guys were not his problem and if they thought he was going to act like a dad for them they were coming to the wrong conclusion. He didnīt care if he had obligations to tend to, if he made people disappointed. Right now all he had in his mind was to escape....escape from it all. In other words get totally punch drunk...
********************************************************************************************************************************************************** "Nick come on. You gotta let me in!" Brian knocked on the door to the small bedroom. Heīd been standing outside for what seemed like forever and the sounds that could be heard frightened him as well as made him feel disgusted. A loud groan had him knocking harder on the door. "Open up. Now!"
"No. Leave me alone..let me die in pea.." The weak pathetic words were quickly drowned out by the sound of his friend being violently sick again. This was some kind of flu Nick had managed to catch.
"Man not again." Brian scrunched up his nose, wincing in disgust. Hearing someone get sick was not his cup of tea, but then was that to anyone? If heīd only listened to Kevin and let him be the one to stay with Nick instead, but oh no he had to do the opposite way. As always.
Being the stubborn human being he was born to he had a habit to neglect his cousin's words and then paying the price for it. This was no different from when he and Kevin played and Brian had decided to see if he could jump from the highest top of the barn. At that time he hadnīt been scared of heights and Kevin's futile tries in getting him to reconsider his actions had been wasted. Heīd jumped only to discover that a concussion wasnīt that fun to have, especially when his other cousins and friends were allowed to play outside and he had to spend the weekend at the hospital. Ever since then Brian hated heights.
He should have listened then and he should have listened now. Ever since Kevin had left the room Nick had been getting worse. Heīd complained about the headache and then the nausea set in and now he was vomiting. After much coaxing from Brian's side heīd managed to drag the sick teen into the bathroom to be allowed some privacy but also to block out the unwanted noise and views that came with sickness. Nick had barely made it in time and upon hearing his friend turning his stomach inside and out he had just as difficult to swallow down the bile that burned in his throat. Noticing this, Nick had responded with closing the door and then locking it before Brian had a chance to object. Probably in an attempt not to gross out the older boy too much.
At first Brian felt relieved by the action but as time passed and the sickness showed no signs in slowing down heīd got seriously concerned trying to get the teen to open up. Either Nick refused cause he was sick or stubborn since nothing happened and Brian had to spend his time outside, banging on the door, wanting to get inside.
The groans and moans and whimpers that could be heard left him feeling helpless. His first thought was to call Kevin or any of the other guys and get them to come down and help him but then heīd remembered the previous conversation that went on with his cousin earlier in the evening. Heīd told very firmly that he didnīt need his help and that he could manage very well thank you on his own. Now one hour later he realized it was nothing but bullshit, yet he was too stoic to confess how desperate he felt. Especially not to Kevin who was always butting into his life one time or the other.
Growing up in the midst of Kentucky heīd spent a lot of time with Kevin and his other cousins. Their grandparents had a farm and they used to spend the summer there. Kevin, who was one of the oldest of the cousins was the leader and he was the one that decided on the rules too. As a kid Brian was often very sickly and everyone, including Kevin acted very overprotective of him because of his heart defect. Deep inside he hated this and at one time he decided that when he grew up he wouldnīt allow people to be overprotective of him and treat him like a kid. Especially not Kevin. Luckily for him Nick turned out to be the baby in the group, the one everyone had to look after.
Biting back his pride he mumbled to the closed door, "Frack man, you want me to get someone? Kevin? Howie?"
No answers to that question could be heard and instead a harsh sound of sickness filled the room. Brian had to steal himself from not escaping that was how bad it was. Yet he stayed. Nick needed him.
"God it huuurrtttsss," the teen whimpered, his voice choked up with tears and pain.
"It does? Where does it hurt? Your stomach?" Nothing. "The headache?" A small whimper... Brian was doing his best to try and remain calm but when all he got back was a sob he quickly lost his calm surface. "Nick youīre scaring me" he said with a shaky tone, "Let me in. Now."
Another whimper could be heard and then the sounds of more heaving. This was starting to get scary. "I said open up!" Brian urged as he pressed his shoulder hard against the door in a stupid as well as fruitless attempt to break in. But his body wasnīt exactly Arnold Schwarzenegger and it proved to be nothing but dumb. All he got was a sore shoulder. Just when heīd decided to go and get Kevin, he could see the lock to the door being turned and was finally being able to get inside the room.
"Nick?"
The sight that met him had him even more concerned than before. There on the cold tiled floor sat Nick, his head next to the toilet and his arms wrapped around his legs like it was providing him some comfort. His head leaned against his knees and it looked like it was pure will that was holding him up straight. The face was unnaturally flushed and tears as well as sweat streamed down his cheeks, leaving marks of stripes. His hair was tousled and wet no doubt from the strain he was putting himself through and in the dusk of light, Nick hadnīt turned on the lamp, he noticed how sickly his friend really looked. His red rimmed eyes filled with pain.
Squinting against the light that beamed in from the rest of the room Nick mumbled weakly, "Turn it off..please."
"Turn what off?" For a second Brian felt confused.
"The light," he covered his eyes with his hand, "Turn it off. It hurts my eyes."
"It does?" This was some kind of awkward bug that Nick had managed to catch. Turning off the lamp he apologized. "Iīm sorry, but you canīt sit here in the dark you know." Despite the disgusting smell that lingered in the room he sat down beside his friend, stroking away the sweaty bangs that clinged against Nick's forehead. "Hey buddy, how are you really doing?"
The reply he got was not something he expected when the teen quickly leaned over the bowl again, vomiting violently what little was left in his stomach. Brian winced. This was worse than heīd ever imagined. Once again he had to fight his own gag reflex since sharing the bowl was not on his list right now. As in a miracle he managed to cope once again and the nausea went on a rebound. Feeling better he concentrated on supporting the blonde instead by stroking his back in that same way that heīd seen Kevin do so many times in the past. Whatever it was with this motion it made the younger boy relax. "Thatīs it," he cooed, "Try to calm down. It was easier said then done since Nick was now shivering so violently that he was wracked with chills.
He was getting worse by the minute. Or at least so it seemed.
"I canīt stand it anymore..itīs so bad" Nick sobbed and tears ran down his cheeks, streaking his skin in the process. He spat into the bowl as the worst bout subsided. It feels like my he..head is.. abo..about to expl..explode" The words were hard to say and he moaned as the dry heaves began again.
"Oh man" The older man didnīt know what to say. He was so grossed out yet he couldnīt do anything but watch his friend being this sick. "That bad huh?"
The teen didnīt respond, instead he concentrated on dry heaves and when it was finally over he leaned back against Brian, all wiped out.
"You think youīre done?" Brian asked as Nick let all his weight lean on Brian. He was heavy, especially since now when he wasnīt throwing up anymore sleepiness had set in and the older man had a hard time holding him up.
"Yeah" He swallowed hard. "I think so."
"Good" Brian started to stand, "Come on then. Weīve gotta get you into bed. Get you some rest."
Nick hesitated, "I donīt know." His voice was weak. Flushing the toilet he looked at the swirls, like in transfixion. It was no doubt that his friend was very tired. More tired than he tried to let on.
"What donīt you know?" Brian was half sitting, trying to hold Nick up while he was judging whether or not he would manage the teen on his own, back to bed. Nick was tall, much taller than he was and this adding to the fact that he was almost unconscious now when he wasnīt dry heaving any longer made Brian realize that it would be a hard task getting him into bed.
"If Iīm done. It just hits me so fast. The nausea. Especially when I move" He blushed despite the fever.
Brian could sense that his friend had a hard time talking. It was like every word was a gigantic struggle.
"Maybe we need to get you to a doctor then" The older man frowned. "I mean if itīs that bad, as you say it is."
"No" The teen snapped open his eyes, wide. If there was one thing Brian knew his friend hated it was going to the doctor. Why? He had no idea. After all it was something natural and being often sick as a kid the older boy had nothing against it. The same couldnīt be said for Nick.
"But what if itīs something serious?" Brian knew his words sounded weird but sometimes it was better to scare the teen a bit so he would understand the seriousness.
"Well, itīs not." The blonde groaned, sitting up straighter on the floor. "Itīs just the flu" He made a move to stand, like the small rest had given him some strength. "And like I said. No doctors. Iīll be fine."
This had Brian in for a fit. "No youīre not," he hissed. "Puking ainīt fine. Having a headache that feels like your head is going to explode ain't fine. You need medical care."
His friend gave him a dark eye. "Donīt" he warned when the Kentuckian opened his mouth to object again. Knowing that the battle was over and that heīd lost Nick could be a hard cookie to convince about something and today proved to be such a situation.
"Ok well," he said with a sigh. "At least let me help you back to bed. Here you canīt lay, on the floor. Itīll get cold." Surprised but also a bit worried that there were no comments, he helped Nick to stand. The teen looked at once dizzy and for a moment Brian feared that there would be another trip back to the porcelain bus. Luckily the nausea seemed to settle down when he steadied his hands against the basin and soon they could continue their journey back to the bedroom.
They had just about made it to the bed and was about to sit down when there was a knock on the door and Howie came into the room, "Oh let me help you." The Latino was instantly by their side and helped Brian set their friend down. Without any words Nick laid down his aching head on the cool pillow, closing his eyes immediately
"Thanks man, heīs kind of heavy." Brian smiled paley.
Howie nodded as he asked, "How is he doi.." Changing his mind he turned to Nick, "How are you doing buddy?"
"Not so good." The teen croaked weakly as he rolled to his side, his face buried in the soft pillow.
"Yeah," Brian nodded, "Heīs been throwing up non stop." There was a grimace. "Man I didnīt know that someone could be this sick."
"Oh." Howie looked sad. "That bad huh?"
"Mmmm." Brian was the one that was filling in for the words. "He's also complaining of a headache. Saying that it feels like his head is gonna explode."
"Awww." Howie looked with compassion at his friend. "That sucks buddy" He patted Nick's warm cheek gently. Turning to Brian he asked, "Did you give him any Tylenol? Aspirin?"
"Yea earlier on when Kevin was here." Brian nodded, "but I donīt think it would stay down right now anyway" The words had both Nick as well as Brian wincing as they remembered what had been going on in the bathroom minutes ago. A repeat performance of that didnīt sound too tempting.
"Ok."
"Anyway...what are you doing here? Arenīt you supposed to go to the dinner?" Brian asked a bit confused seeing his buddy so well dressed up.
"Yup," the Latino fidget a bit. "As a matter of fact that is why I am coming. Weīre ALL supposed to go the dinner" He emphasized on the word all.
"And who is going to be with Nick then?" Brian said at once sounding a bit irritated. "You canīt expect us to leave Kaos alone can you? He's way to sick to be left alone."
Howie fidgeted even more like he was nervous to spell the words out loud. "Donīt you see.....Lou expects us ALL to be there..Nick included."
Upon hearing the last words Brian was silent before he added, "Youīre not serious are you?"
"Yes." Howie sighed heavily. "Thatīs what Kevin told me and heīd spoken to Johnny who talked to Lou and Mr. Pearlman's words were that we were all expected there."
"I donīt believe it!" Brian was suddenly very stubborn. "There is no way Nick can go to a dinner party the way he is feeling right now." The Kentuckian's voice had gone up several octaves. "For crying out loud, look at him!" He gestured towards the teen that had crawled up in festering position. "He canīt expect us to drag him with us. That would be insane."
"I know" Howie twiddled his thumbs. Looking at the pale teen that had his eyes closed and that looked more dead then alive. His breathing was a bit labored and there was no telling if he was asleep or not. "But those were the words that Lou said and Johnny is following him too so.." He was cut off by his upset friend.
"You canīt mean that Nick is actually going? What is Kevin saying about all this? Does he know about it?" Brian looked like a pitbull getting ready for a fight.
"He knows all right and he tried talking Johnny into letting him stay, he even said it would be a disaster but neither of the managers are paying attention to this" Brian started to interrupt him again when Howie held up a hand, "No wait..let me finish..Johnny said that there would be some big shots from the business out there and they wanted to meet all five of us. Thatīs why we cant back out of this now."
"This is stupid!" Brian was so upset that his face was all red, walking over to the phone he picked it up "Iīm calling Kevin."
"NO!" Howie's tone was a bit too desperate which had Brian suspicious
"Why canīt I call Kev?" He eyed his friend carefully.
"Eh..uh..I donīt think that is a good idea." The Latino had always been bad at lying. "You know..eh..he is getting ready."
"Well then..even better that I call him cause we can't let Nick go this sick to a dinner party. That would be like killing the kid off."
A moan could be heard from the bed, apparently Nick wasnīt asleep just yet. He moved restlessly like he was in severe pain.
"Now youīre waking him up too," Brian said annoyed over the way Howie had shouted.
"Iīm not asleep." Nick croaked from his side of the room. His voice was barely recognizable. "I have such a headache."
"Oh." Both of the men were by his side instantly, forgotten about the argument that they had earlier on. "You want me to get you something?"
"Yes, please..." Nick mumbled as his fingers rubbed furiously at his temples. "a new head!"
"Ok other than that?" Brian chuckled despite the fear he was feeling. "I think you have a pretty good head as it is Frack." "I donīt." He sounded so small. "It hurts and I feel sick." Both Howie and Brian's eyes went big. "You gonna puke again?" There was fear in the Kentuckian's voice as he automatically reached for the trashcan that stood beside the bed.
"No" Nick mumbled to both men's relief , "I just feel iffy. My back hurts too and I canīt lay still. Itīs hot in here" He made an attempt to sit up but had to lay back again since the dizziness became too much. This action gave even more fuel to Brian's argument that Nick was in no shape nor form to get up from bed.
"See he can barely sit up without passing out" There was despair in the younger man's voice. "How are we supposed to get him ready to go to a dinner party?" Brian ran a hand through his hair. "It would be a disaster."
Howie nodded. "Youīre right, but I donīt know what to do." He scratched his head like he was thinking. After a moment of silence the Latino opened his mouth to speak. "I know that this might sound farfetched but.."
"But what?" Brian interrupted him, being impatient.
Howie frowned. "Like I said I donīt know but maybe Johnny needs to see him in this state so he knows that weīre not exaggerating. You know so he knows how bad off he really is" The Latino paused. "Although I think he needs to go to a doctor."
Brian wasnīt fast enough to object to the last words, telling his friend how much Nick hated the doctors issue to be brought up which had the youngest open his eyes again. "I said no doctors..Iīll be fine..just let me rest" With that he buried his head into the pillow, hoping to block out the small light that was coming from the lamp on the opposite side of the room.
"But I.." Howie started only to be met with a dark eye from Brian and a silent mouthing "donīt"
"Ok." The older man acted defeated. "Well, at least let me get Johnny then.." He walked towards the door. "He needs to see what he is doing to the kid if he is dragging him along."
Brian nodded, looking relieved. "Yes that would be an idea. Iīm sure heīll change his mind if he sees what state Nick is in."
"I hope youīre right." Howie's last words were before disappearing out of the room. As soon as they were left alone Brian sat down on his bed. Suddenly feeling very tired. There was no way he could muster some strength to go to the dinner party. Why hadnīt Johnny and the rest of the management realized that they were all pretty beat after traveling for hours and all they needed right now was to get a few hours shuteye, not pretending that they were in a festive mood.
"Frick!" Nick's weak voice could be heard across the room.
"Yes?" Instantly Brian was at his side. "What is it? You feel sick again? You want me to help you to the bathroom?"
"No" The teen shook his head weakly, looking at him with glazed red rimmed eyes, "Do you think itīll work out?"
"Work what out?" Brian asked calmly, stroking a damp strand from his friend's sweaty forehead.
Licking his dry lips Nick made another attempt to talk. "Do you really think I get to stay?" The words were weak, strangled. Pain evident in his voice.
Brian sighed. He didnīt know what to say to Nick. Didnīt know what to expect. Usually Johnny wasn't such a hardass to deal with but then they had never really done something against his wishes before. He was sure that the black manager would realize that it would be stupid to drag a sick kid out to the city, especially someone who's fever was rising by the minute and that looked like he would drop out from earth all the time. Yet he knew that Johnny was not someone to disobey orders especially Lou's or Trans con. So the results had yet to be seen.
Not wanting to disturb the teen even more he stroked another string away, whispering silently, "I hope so little man, I really do"
