There were days when you wished youīd never woke up!
It was those days when everything went wrong from the first start and then continued on with the same pace without showing any signs of stopping.
It was those days when your mood was usually so bad that everyone within miles of you should back off since you would most likely sneer at them or start a conflict.
Unfortunately it was also those days when you could hurt someone that you liked very much just because they happened to be in the way of your anger.
Today was such a day for Kevin Richardson
There were so many things and people that annoyed him today, but none of them could top having to baby-sit one particular Nickolas Gene Carter! The kid had a habit of pulling on all his emotional cords, good and bad and today the mere look at him made Kevin throw a tantrum. He was sick and tired of the kid always getting along with everything just by whining loud enough.
Ok most of his feelings were uncalled for since deep inside he had to confess that he liked the kid despite having the habit of getting on his nerves too. Today however it was not particularly Nick he was pissed at even if he did make him angry.
Early this morning life had been pretty good. Heīd woken up in the arms of his longtime girlfriend Kristin and after having a nice breakfast in bed as well as making love it was time to get ready to go on tour. He didnīt want to leave her but there was a job to be done and they would meet each other again in a couple of weeks. After kissing each other he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready. While he was standing there letting the water rinse over him there was a phone call. Before he had a chance to respond he heard Kristin pick up the phone, At first he hadnīt thought much about it before he heard her mention things like "No not right now" , "You have to wait", and "Yes come over when he leaves." The words had sounded very strange to him and when heīd asked afterwards who it was she had responded by saying that it was one of her girlfriends and that they were going shopping. It had all sounded too strange and suddenly heīd put two and two together. This could only mean one thing.....She was cheating on him!
Getting out of the shower heīd been mad as hell. He would never take anyone cheating on him and when he asked her straight forward if she had anyone beside him she had denied it all. This had him even more upset and soon the fight was at full speed.
There mere thought about what had went on earlier in the morning had him ready to flip out!
Kristin had been his girlfriend on and off for the past four years and she was the only one that he had ever loved in that special way that made him think of wanting to spend an entire life with. He had other girlfriends but none were like her. She was patient with him but most of all she believed in him and was willing to fight for their love. They had been through so many ups and downs in their relationship already and the fact that she was cheating on him came like a shocking surprise. Ok he had to confess that he hadnīt come clean with her in the past, and there had been other girls, but now, when they were half and half living together in her apartment he was completely faithful.
Unfortunately the same couldnīt be said for her.
She had denied cheating on him over and over again, but he hadnīt listened and instead accused her of lying. Kristin, the girl that usually took everything calm and relaxed had shown temper and old stuff from the past, both sides, had been dragged up. Things that were being mentioned was when Kevin had been with one of their producers at a strip club in Las Vegas as well as that time he cheated on her with a model at an after party.
The words had been harsh. They had screamed at each other, calling each other names and in the end she had cried and it was then that it happened. She had yelled to him that their relationship was over and done with and that he shouldnīt bother to come back to her again. As to state her point she had thrown out all of his clothes from her closet on the floor and then told him that his stuff would be packed in boxes and that he could come and pick them up once he arrived home from Canada.
Afraid that she was meaning what she said he had tried to calm her down and then took back all of his accusations. Heīd even cried too, wanting to get her back. But in a cold voice she had told him that she was sick and tired of putting up with his behavior and that no matter what he said it was over. She told him that she expected her key back too and when he begged her to forgive him she had told him with tears clouding her eyes that if he didnīt trust her there were no grounds for them to continue with this relationship and it was better for them to go their separate ways. Love without trust was not a stable ground to build a life on.
The clock on the wall had been ticking. Time passed fast and he was already late with getting a cab out to the airport where he was supposed to meet up with his cousin to fly out to Canada for the tour. All that seemed so unimportant right now and never in his life had he wanted so bad to leave the group. He wanted to stay and talk to Kristin in an attempt to sort everything out. But no matter how he wanted to stay he couldnīt do that. The rest of the guys, the fans, were waiting for him. They depended on him and he had obligations to do. His private life had to be set aside.
Grabbing his suitcase and walking out from the apartment a sudden realization hit him. He was not only walking out of the room, he was walking out from the love of his life too. And he had lost. Lost the woman that he loved. He had lost Kristin.
Just thinking back at this event made his stomach clench with fear. He hadnīt told anyone about what was on his mind and as things were looking right now he wouldnīt say anything either. Brian had been on his case in the plane, wanting to know what was on his mind, but when he had told his cousin that everything was just fine Brian had dropped the subject. Not asking anything more, probably thinking that Kevin was just in a bad mood.
Which wasnīt that far from truth? The bad mood that was.
Taking his steps in a long stride he felt someone grabbing his arm. "Kevin wait up. Please.."
"What?" Annoyed, he found Nick half running next to him, his complexion red from strain. Instantly he regretted snapping at him but the kid was on his nerves so much these days that the mere sight of him had him in a bad mood. Like if he wasnīt in one before.
"Youīre walking too fast. I canīt keep up...Please slow down. " The tone was whiny and tired. There was also something pleading in the teens eyes as he was doing his best to keep up with his brothers. Kevin was in no mood to listen to his baby brother complaining. Jerking his arm away from the blondes grip he groaned
"Oh please..leave me alone!!"
Quickening his pace he noticed that Nick wasnīt following beside him anymore and stopping he noticed the teen standing a bit hunched, his hands on his knees like he was catching his breath. Noticing that the rest of the guys were much too far ahead to stop he walked back. Annoyed but also a bit concerned. "Whatīs the matter?"
"Nothing" Nick didnīt look up, just stood there a bit hunched.
"You feel sick?"
"No." The teen shook his head but he made no move to stand up either, or meet his eyes.
Kevin was loosing his temper. "Bullshit! If it was nothing you wouldnīt be standing like that, looking like youīre about to kneel over any sec."
"I said it was nothing." Nick snarled back.
"Hey!" Kevin was loosing his patience. "Then if everything is ok then get a move on cause weīre late. Come on."
Nick shook his head. "No leave me."
"Leave you?" Kevin frowned. "Why?" Nick could be such a drama queen sometimes.
"Iīm tired." The tone was whiny but there was also defeat in his voice.
Kevin softened a bit. "Oh come on Nicky..grab my hand." He motioned with his hand for the teen to grab it but the gesture was being ignored. Frowning the older man continued, "You sure youīre all right?" There was something in the teens approach that had him questioning. Nick could be difficult and whiny but this time he was actually acting like something was bothering him very much.
"Yes!" The teen looked up through his bangs. "What do you care?" His eyes were filled with tears.
Surprised, but also shocked over his appearance Kevin set his own problems aside momentarily. "Youīre crying?" His tone was gentle.
"No." Nick who had straightened up wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve.
Noticing this Kevin frowned with disgust. "Canīt you use a tissue." He stopped himself when he saw the hurt _expression on the teen's face. Shaking his head he added, "Thereīs something youīre not telling me, is there?
The blonde boy looked disheveled and Kevin felt an urge to tell him to straighten up. After all they were going to work and he couldnīt look like a bum. Nick's hair was messy and he was constantly wiping away a strand of hair that fell into his eyes. A sudden feeling of wanting to give the kid a hug came all over him but it was quickly wiped away when Johnny urged them to hurry up.
"Kevin, Nick, what the hell are you two doing?" The black manager sounded annoyed. "Hurry up get your white asses here. Youīre late!"
Knowing that there was no use in making the manager even madder the two bandmates hastened their steps. Reaching the manager they were instantly met with hard words. "Richardson I thought I told you and Carter to hurry your ass up. This isnīt exactly a Sunday school picnic" He pointed at his watch. "Now we're late" Looking at the youngest member he said, "Carter is it you that is holding everybody up?"
Kevin felt a sudden urge to defend his brother. "No itīs not him that is holding us up. He was asking about a thing and I answered and then..."
Johnny cut him off. "Ok Richardson save it! We donīt have time for a speech right now. The others are waiting." He gestured towards the stairs, "Come on follow me" With that the manager was up the stairs closely followed by the others.
Kevin felt a bit annoyed over being treated like a kid by his manager but there was not much he could do about the situation. He took the stairs with long steps. Glancing at his back he noticed that Nick was taking his time. 'Oh come on hurry up' he wanted to say but stopped himself when he noticed how tight Nick was holding the bannister, as if it was the only thing that held him up straight and prevented him from falling over.
The more he looked at the kid the more he noticed that something was definitely off with the kid. Maybe he should ask what was the matter. But then maybe not. With a sigh he thought that his friend was probably just tired which wasnīt strange considering that they had all traveled so long and they were suffering from jetlag too.
Besides there were other, more important things on his mind to be concerned about then a whiny brat that was feeling a bit under the weather. As soon as the interview would be over he would call his girlfriend, tell her he was sorry and then ask her, beg her, to take him back....
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A bed!!!!
The first Nick lay his eyes upon entering the room was the large Queen size bed that practically took up the whole space. Brian as well as Howie had already occupied it and they were busy lying on the bed spread, talking and joking around. AJ on the other hand sat on the corner of the bed, watching the two of them goof around.
"Sorry Iīm a bit late." The teen mumbled apologetically to his friends.
"Oh hi Frack." Brian looked up. "I didnīt see you coming." He paused, "What happend?
"Eh.." Nick thought what to say, "Me and Kev kind of talked.." He was interrupted by Howie who smiled at him.
"Thatīs great buddy. You two seem to have some differences that you gotta work out."
"The only difference they have is that Kev is acting like an ass, not wanting to see how shitty Nick looks." AJ muttered from behind them.
Ignoring this comment Nick sat carefully down on the bed, like he was afraid that the wooden furniture would break by the mere touch. Truth was however that the only thing he was afraid would really break was nothing but his skull. Every move he made felt like his head would explode. Like it would split open and the yellow green brain substance would spill all over the white bedspread. Like one gigantic slimy spot.
Nick grimaced. Vivid imagination was not always something that was great to have and even if he knew it was all in his head it was starting to make him a bit ill. Swallowing hard he tried to get the lump that was forming in the back of his throat to disappear.
"Yo Nick!" Brian was waving his hand in front of his face as to get his attention.
"What?" Nick jerked back in his thoughts. Clearing the cobwebs from his mind he mumbled a bit confused. "Did you say something?"
Brian nodded. "I asked you if you wanted to lay down but youīve been spacing out on me all the time." There was a frown, "You ok?"
"Yes" The teen sounded a bit annoyed over being constantly asked questions about his health.
"'K." Brian didnīt sound too convinced yet he didnīt press on any further either. Patting on the space beside him he said lightly, "This is the best. Come and lay down here"
Eyeing the offer his friend thought for a moment. It sounded very tempting if Nick hadnīt been so afraid that the second he would lay down his aching head on the pillow he would fall asleep. Dead to the world. Stealing himself he shook his head, "Nah Iīm fine," when he felt Brian drag in his arm.
"Come on Frack. You need it. Just for a few."
He wasnīt that hard to persuade. "Ok." With that he laid down on the bed, closing his eyes to the bright light. Turning on his stomach he lay down his aching head against the cool bedspread. God this felt so good. He could hear his friends talking behind his back, joking about something that he was no doubt involved in, yet he didnīt care. There was no strength to get up again and he desperately wished that this feeling would last forever, or at least until he felt well enough to do the interview. The words got more and more slurred and soon he felt his eyelids go heavy and before he knew it he fell asleep.
"Nicky, come on. Wake up."
The words as well as the gentle shake on his shoulder were what woke him up. A bit disoriented he blinked at the bright light in the room.
"You all right man?" Howies concerned eyes peered down at him.
"Mmmm..yes." Confused he tried to remember where he was when Brian's voice could be heard next to him.
"You fell asleep."
"I did?" His head felt like mush and the headache was making it hard to think straight. Slowly he tried to sit up just to find out that the limbs in his body refused to cope with him. Every bone in his body ached and that combined with the chills that were constantly wracking him made him feel pretty lousy and now he was pretty sure that he was actually running a temperature. That would account the strange feeling. a mixture of exhaustion and pure illness.
Howie nodded. "You look a bit sick. You sure that youīre ok?" His brown eyes were searching for answers.
"Uh..ye..yes." There was no need to worry his friends therefore he told them a white lie. Besides what could they do anyway? A fever, if he had one, had to run itīs course and even if he felt like total and utter crap, the guys as well as the management, had told him that he had obligations to do. So what else could he do but follow it?
A thought popped up in his mind. "Was I out for long?"
"No." Howie shook his head. "Only a few minutes." He leaned his head to the side like he was trying to excess how the teen was really feeling, "Youīre that tired?"
"A bit." Nick yawned. There was no use in lying on that account since they could all see how exhausted he was.
"Try and make it," AJ said encouragingly from where he was sitting. "The interview is soon over and then we have some time off."
"No we donīt," Kevin stated coming into the room.
"Huh?"
"After this weīve gotta do some one on one interviews, then after that weīre free for about an hour."
"For real?" Brian looked a bit shocked. Heīd promised to call his girlfriend Samantha as soon as there was a break.
"Yup." Kevin nodded before spotting the teen on the bed. "Nick," he barked, "Sit up straighter."
Listening to the command he did his best to obey his older brother. But it was hard since everytime he sat up his head ached so much that he just wanted to lay back down again. With a groan he did his best and soon he was sitting up, hanging with his head like it was too heavy to hold up.
Eyeing him Kevin muttered, "God you look like a complete mess."
Nick opened his mouth to say something back when Brian cut in, "Yeah you do Frack." He was about to stroke away the bangs from his friends eyes when the teen jerked away, not wanting to be touched. This motion made Brian frown, yet he said nothing further since a woman's voice broke the silence.
"This is sooo neat." Sonia squealed delighted. "Five good looking boys in the same bed. Can this get any better?" She chuckled before turning to her camera man, "Jaques you have to take a picture with me and the boys all together in this bed."
There was a laughter of nervousness in the room. Was this woman being serious?
Nick didnīt have time to think before he was whisked over to the corner of the bed, leaning his aching back against the white wall. AJ was sitting next to him and then Kevin. Both Howie and Brian pulled the lucky straw and they got to lay down on the bed during the interview.
The teen thought it wasnīt fair but then he reasoned that maybe it was a good choice since if heīd been the one on the bed he wouldnīt have promised NOT falling asleep. And that would have looked bad to the media.
Sonia prepared to ask the first question and as she asked them about what they were doing here in Canada Jaques suddenly yelled from his camera position." No No No."
A bit surprised they looked at the short man.
"What is it?" Sonia asked, annoyed over being interrupted in her line of duty."
"The blonde boy..Nick," he pointed at the teen, " He can not wear that white sweatshirt. It blends in against the white wall."
"Oh" Nick felt stupid.
"Then what should we do?" Sonia looked at the young teen with despair. "Should he lay down on the bed too?"
"No the bedspread is white too," Jaques said before suggesting, "Nick can you take off that sweatshirt?"
Normally this wouldnīt have been that big of a question but today when he was feeling miserable it was like he was being told to strip naked.
"Do I have to?" He knew that he sounded a bit whiny, yet he didnīt care. The outlook of having to shred his clothes, feeling this chilled out seemed like something he wanted to stall as long as possible.
"Yes" Sonia felled the final statement.
"But..but Iīm cold." He knew it was stupid but this had him close to tears.
"Donīt be stupid." Brian said with a sigh. "Just do what youīve been told to do so we can get out of this interview sometime before midnight."
Nick, not wanting to give up his precious sweatshirt, protested a few times before Kevin snarled at him.
"God Nick, stop being so immature" His hardass brother looked at him, "What are you so afraid to show? Your tummy?"
The rest of the guys laughed at this comment. Nick smiled too, but deep inside he felt embarrassed over the words his friend had felled.
Without further argument he did as they all wanted and shivering he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, only to reveal a green sports tee that did nothing to provide the warmth he so desperately yearned for.
Sonia was the only one that was delighted.
"Oh Nicky," she squealed, "Thatīs such a nice shirt."
"Thanks." Nick forced back a backstreet smile. "Green is my favorite color."
