Bright light. Muffled voices. Hands touching him.
Nick felt the panic dwell up inside him in the same way as it had done when he was attacked by fans for the first time. It had been last summer in Germany. Hundreds of fans had stormed their bus and the entrance to their hotel. At first Nick had mostly become flattered but as things were progressing and the fans were getting more and more aggressive in their attempt to meet the guys he got scared. Girls were all over him and he didn’t like it when people were too close to him in that way. It made him feel both unsure and uncomfortable.
The fans had all touched at him, grabbed at his backpack and also poked him on all kinds of places. One girl even tried to get a strand of his hair and one stole his cap. It was wild and before security got a hold of the situation Nick felt like a trapped animal. The more he tried to get away the more they were pressing against him, screaming. He tried ducking but they had been everywhere.
There were Hands. Hands touching his hair. Hands tugging at his clothes. Hands all over him.
The panic had rushed up inside him and he was sure that he would be crushed. Crushed to pieces. Bright flashes was shining in his eyes and for a moment he feared that his last moment had come. That he was going to die in the crowd. Then, when he thought that all hope was lost, he felt a strong arm pull at him, drag him through the crowd like in slow motion. Through tear-filled eyes he had watched the scenario and had followed the person that held his arm in a cramped grip like a blind man. He'd closed his eyes and didn't dare to look up until he was safe. He had found out early, that it was better to show a reserved side, that way people would hopefully leave him alone.
Even if the whole event had just lasted for a few minutes in Nick's life, it still had felt like an eternity. It felt like forever and when he was finally was safe, he had dared to look up. Just to be met with Kevin's calm eyes. Shaking, he had never wanted to let go of his brother's firm grip and then the tears had threatened to spill over. When he was in his hotel room later that evening, the whole event had been played up in front of him like a movie.
That's when the nightmares started. Nightmares that he would be crushed and that he would die.
The first thought that crossed Nick's mind when he woke up was that he had finally done it. He had died and gone to heaven. Or was it hell? His body felt strangely cold and he shivered, chills wracking his body. It felt the same way as it did when he was fever sick back home in his parent's big bed. Or a moment he thought that he was at home. Back with his family.
Suddenly there was another feeling. A feeling of hands touching him, tugging at his clothes and once again, Nick was back in Germany. Back to that awful event when he thought he would die. "No, No," he called out hoarsely, hoping that the fans would let him be. The same panic as he felt before surged through him. Making it hard to breathe. Someone was touching his stomach, pressing down with hands that made him want to scream. It hurt. Oh God it hurts so badly.
Swallowing hard he did his best to fend off the tears that were threatening to dwell up in his eyes. Moaning he tried to shield away from whoever was attacking him, whimpering when he realized that there were no where he could go. He was trapped. Trapped in his own misery.
"Do..don´t tou..touch mmm..mee," he mumbled weakly. "I..it hu..huuurrtsss.." He did his best to try to push away the hands, but the hands didn't listen. Instead they kept on poking him. Hurting him. To make things worse people murmured something around him, words that he couldn’t make out.
It was all such a blur and he felt scared.
A hand touched his forehead a female voice whispered softly into his ears, “Hush honey. It will be just fine.” The hand stroked his hair and strangely it made him for a moment feel safe.. The person smelled so good. Like flower mixed with vanilla.
"Mom?"
"No Nickolas,” the voice answered gently. “I’m nurse Sarah and you’re at the hospital.”
“Hospital?” Nick opened his eyes. "Ohhh, I thought I was with mo..mom" He couldn't help but he felt so disappointed. He wanted his mom. Wanted her to comfort him. Saying that everything would be alright. That he would be fine. Just like she always did, at least whenever she was around.
“No honey.” The nurse smiled at him. “We’re waiting for the doctor to come and perform a quick examination on you.” Upon hearing those words Nick shifted uncomfortable in his bed. He’d never liked doctors and certainly not examination and the prospect of having to endure one didn’t sound too promising. Sensing her patients nervousness the nurse stroked away a sweaty strand from his forehead. “Honey I know it hurts but try to calm down.”
Nick nodded, feeling more confused then he wanted to let show. Why was he in a hospital? Had he been in an accident? Just when he opened his mouth to ask those questions a dark male voice interrupted him.
“Hey there Nickolas. I’m Doctor Burns and I will perform a quick examination on you.” The man with glasses and a brown beard smiled down at him. “I know you don’t feel too hot right now but I have a pretty good guess what it is that bothering you and we will take care of that instantly.” There was no chance for Nick to answer, which was just as good since his stomach was starting to hurt pretty much again and there were a feeling of nausea in the back of his throat too. “I believe that you have appendicitis."
"Oh" Nick licked his lips. So that was why he was in a hospital. No wondering that his stomach hurt so much. Slowly his memory started to come back. It was all blurry, but he remembered briefly that he had been at Kevin's home when he started to feel so sick. Brian had been there too. And Brian's mom. Jackie. "Bri..Brian?" he whispered hoarsely, licking his parched lips one more time. God he was so thirsty.
“Brian?” The nurse asked. “Is that your friend?”
Nick nodded, that was all he could do right now anyway.
“He is in the waiting room and you get to see him once this procedure is over.”
’ The pain that radiated through his body all of a sudden made the nurse grab his hand in hers and held it in a comfortingly gesture. “Ouch!” Nick trashed on the examination table. It hurt so much that he wanted to crawl into a ball but the doctor wouldn’t let him. Instead he tensed. The doctor said something to the nurse and there was more pain when large hands pressed on his tender stomach. “Uuuhhhh..ohhhhh," Nick wailed again, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. It hurt so bad that he thought he would faint. Cringing he did his best to get away from the pressure.
"Honey I know it hurts but try and relax. It will soon be over." The nurse was there again with her hands, stroking his forehead in a comforting way.
But Nick didn´t feel relaxed. Not at all.
"I wa..wanna go..goo..ho..hoomeeee," he cried, not caring if anyone saw what a baby he was. It hurt so much and he wanted his mom by his side. But his mother was far away, all the way cross the Atlantic; in Europe with Aaron and his siblings.
"Mooooommmm!"
The cries he let out were cries of sheer desperation; he flailed with his arms, wanting to get away from the pain and the pressure that he felt. It felt like someone was stabbing him in his stomach. With a hot pole!
"I know it hurts," the doctor said with an apologizing tone in his voice, "but I need to feel your stomach and when I’m done I will get you something that makes you sleepy and also takes away the pain.Ok? ” Noticing his patient’s doubtful eyes he smiled, “I’ll promise.”
Biting his lips, Nick tried to be stoic. He didn't want to act like a wuss. There was another strange feeling in his stomach, like he had swallowed Something that burned his throat. The feeling of liquid sloshed around in his gut and nausea sneaked up on him, like a thief in the night. Before he had a chance to react he started to gag and could feel himself being rolled on his side. Soon he started to heave and it hurt so bad that all he could do was to cough and moan.
Comforting words were spoken to him while he felt a wet and cool cloth pressed at the back of his neck. It wouldn’t have been so bad in any other situation then heaving his guts out while his stomach was threatening to rupture. Suddenly he felt a sharp sting in his hand and something cold was injected into his arm. Once the violent heaving had stopped he felt his eyelids go heavy on him. There was a tingling burning sensation inside his body and it was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. There was muffled sounds from people talking in the background and to his relief he noticed that the pain that had been so bad minutes ago was slowly starting to lessen and as an warm and fuzzy feeling made him relax and soon darkness overwhelmed him, making him feel comfortable and safe.
******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
"Brian, hon' relax everything will be fine," Jackie said softly to her youngest son who was pacing back and forth in the small corridor, not taking any time to sit down and rest. Luckily they were the only people in the hallway, sitting down waiting, so they had the room to themselves to speak freely.
It was just Brian, Kevin and Jackie at the hospital. The rest of the people were still at the Thanksgiving Party making the best of the situation, although the party itself was disrupted.
"I just can't," the young man said, twisting his hands in despair. His feature was pale and drawn and that cheerfulness that often lit up his blue eyes was gone. Shadowed by something else; Fright. "What if something bad happens?"
His voice held a tone of desperation.
Even if his mind told him that this was just another case of appendicitis and that the doctors dealt with this kind of illness several times a week, he still couldn’t relax. ‘Come on Brian,' he coached himself, ' the surgeons will take the appendix out and then Nick would be fine and dandy again. Yet there was a bad gut feeling that things could go terribly wrong and it scared him when he‘d seen how fast the paramedics acted when they found out that his appendix had burst. Nick had looked so pale and sick while lying on the ground, almost lifeless, and for a moment he’d feared that his friend had actually died. His first thought was also that he was the cause for the teen’s ailment but when he heard that it was “just” appendicitis he relaxed a knot.
' Think positive, Think positive,' he mentally urged himself as he was walking back and forth, feeling more and more restless as the time ticked away.
"Yeah Rok, sit down or your will wear out the carpet," Kevin said with a slight smile, looking up from the magazine that he was reading. He was feeling as worried as Brian, but he also felt safe knowing that his little brother was in good hands. Heaven forbid that something like this had happened when they were on tour. There was no telling how management would have acted. He had his own encounter with a situation similar to this when he had fallen ill in Germany and the doctors had to perform surgery, taking his appendix out. Oh, he had been so Ill, and yet he was lucky that his appendix hadn't burst like Nick's. Kevin shuddered at the feelings that the memory brought up.
"You're cold, Kevin?" Jackie asked when she saw how the young man shivered in his thin jeans jacket.
"No," the young man ran a hand through his dark hair. "Just thought about how sick I was in Germany when I had this. Man, if Nick is anything like I was, he is in for some pretty rough times."
"Yes, Appendicitis can be pretty bad. Brian was very sick too when he had this," the older woman remembered. Sighing she took in her youngest sons dishelved appearance. He looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Stopping by the water cooler, Brian filled a paper mug; taking a sip all while he glanced over at the green swinging doors leading the surgery. "This is taking too long, much too long," he muttered impatiently. Something was terribly wrong, he just knew it.
They had been waiting for almost two hours and there hadn't been any personnel informing them about Nick's condition. Every time they had tried stopping one of the nurses and doctors they had been informed that someone would come to talk to them. Hopefully soon. .
"Yes, honey I know," Jackie said softly, patting on the empty seat next to her on the sofa." Come on and sit down here for a while. Relax. I'm sure that when they have something to tell us, they will come and inform us." She smiled gently but deep inside she had a nagging feeling of worry, the same as the others.
Why was this surgery taking so long?
Just when she had dismissed every hope of finding out any time soon how her guest was doing a nurse clad in green came rushing past them. Brian intended to find out more about his friend stood up and walked towards her, trying to stop her. “Excuse me,” he said, “but can you please tell me how our friend, Nickolas Carter is doing?” His voice held a mixture of pain and desperation as well as a slight glimpse of hope. “Please?”
The nurse, too stressed to stop and talk said with a hurried tone, " I'm sorry but I can't give away any information."
"Oh." Brian moved out of her way so that she could pass.
Seeing the disappointed look in the young man's eyes the nurse said quickly, " Listen. I have to go, but someone will come and talk to you very soon. I promise"
Kevin, who had stayed calm for most of the duration of time, suddenly shot up his head," NO," he said a bit louder than he intended too. Surprised, the nurse stopped and both Brian and Jackie turned their attention to the otherwise so laid back young man. Letting out the breath that he was holding, Kevin continued, "We've been waiting here for almost two hours and every time we try to talk to someone they tell us that we will have to wait.” He stared at the young nurse who was starting to look more and more uncomfortable.
"Yes," Brian filled in quickly. "We just want to know how our little brother is doing." He too had emotions flaring up inside of him.
The nurse feeling backed into a corner said but at the same time sensing the young mans discomfort asked. "Are you relatives to Mr Carter?"
"Sort off," Kevin mumbled looking down at the floor.
Jackie feeling fit to explain the situation continued, "Nickolas is staying at our house over the Thanksgiving holiday while his parents are in Europe. And to answer your question; no we’re not relatives but I am in charge of him while he is living in our family.
"Oh," the nurse said, "Then I'll take it that you have filled out his insurance card?" There was a small threat in her voice.
"Yes we have." Jackie said tiredly. For once Mr. Wright had served as a help and he had helped her over the phone with all the problems that could occur with insurance and things like that.
"And informed his parents?"
"We have tried to call Mr. and Mrs. Carter but they couldn't be reached at the moment. They will call back as soon as they can."
The nurse looked a bit irritated, since they interrupted her in her line of duty. "As you probably know his parents have to give permission for him to be admitted to the hospital. Also it’s strictly forbidden to give out any information regarding the patient if you don’t have receiving any kind of information regarding the patient’s health."
"Yes, we do," Kevin said a bit sourly. ”But this time its Jive management's Johnny Wright that has taken on the responsibility."
"A record company?" She looked at them with disbelief. “What is he a pop star?” Sarcasm could be noted in her voice.
"Yes, he is a pop star," Brian said tiredly,” The Backstreet Boys." Kevin looked like he wanted to kill him when the words were uttered.
"Never heard of them," the woman snorted. Then she continued, "Now if you excuse me I have to get going now. I have work to tend to" And with that she more or less ran through the green swinging doors.
"What a bitch," Kevin muttered, getting an eye from his aunt. "Uh sorry," he apologized, blushing when he noticed his aunts displeased expression.
"What was all that about?" Brian muttered while sitting down next to his mother.
"Regulations," Jackie sighed, "But the main thing is that Nick gets the treatment that he needs."
The cousins nodded in silence until Kevin was the first to speak up,”Brian," he sounded a bit annoyed,”You didn’t have to say that we were from the Backstreet Boys. You know if the press…the media founds out…"
"Like they would know who we are," Brian snorted, shaking his head. He loved his cousin but sometimes Kevin was just too anal. And he was right, the name Backstreet Boys was pretty unheard off in the states. It was another matter in Europe and even Asia but here they had made no territory at all.
"You can never be too careful." Jackie said with a smile, settling the conflict that had arisen in the waiting room. Kevin agreed and after telling several stories about other celebrities that got into trouble Brian decided to cut in. Drawing his hand over his face in a tired gesture he mumbled that this was one of the worst Thanksgiving that they had ever encountered.
“Oh really?” Kevin said. “Even worse than that time when you climbed up on that tree and fell down and broke your ankle?”
“I didn’t only break my ankle, I also got a concussion,” Brian corrected him “and to answer your question, yes this Thanksgiving is the worst and I will never forget it.”
Kevin nodded before adding with a sigh, “"I doubt that Nick will forget it either."
"Yes, I know boys but we have to make the best out of the situation and pray to God that everything will go well. And meanwhile we should try and get some rest. It’s been a long day." Jackie said softly from her corner of the room.
For a response Brian closed his eyes, leaning against his mothers shoulder. He was so tired and the situation had left him all exhausted. Yet he couldn’t fall asleep, much too tensed. Just when they had given up all hope of finding out any information about Nick and his health, a male voice boomed through the room.
"Mrs. Littrell?"
"Yes?" Instantly all their attention was turned towards the man in glasses wearing green scrubs. Brian could feel his heart beating faster from fear. The doctor looked tired as he walked towards them, reaching out a hand.
"'I’m so sorry that I kept you waiting, but my name is Doctor Burns and I'm the one that has performed surgery on your friend, Nickolas Carter."
While Jackie small talked with the doctor, introducing her as well as the boys, Brian blurted out impatiently, "How is he doing? Is he very sick? Why did the surgery take so long?
The doctor, looked tired, "Mr. Carter is doing fine due to the circumstances.." He didn't get to finish before both Brian and Kevin interrupted him.
"Circumstances? Is something wrong? Is it serious?”p>
Mrs Littrell gave them an displeased eye but the doctor cut in, “To answer all of your questions Nickolas is doing as well as can be right now but,” Dr Burns stopped while slowly looking at each and every one of them in the room, “"but there were some complications...."
