It all happened so fast!
Before Nick knew what had hit him the room was filled with people, dressed in white, and they were all talking to him, poking at him. He wanted to yell at them to go away but he felt too weak to do anything but moan. Moan and lay on his side, holding his stomach in a tight grip. His head hurt and his stomach felt like it would explode any given minute. Dizziness washed over him and the nausea that had hunted him ever since he woke up made it difficult to breathe. The voices in the room were hurting his ears and if he thought that the ache in his stomach had been bad it was nothing compared to what it felt like when the doctor decided to poke at him like he was a toad on a dissecting plate.
Shifting restlessly on the bed Nick bit his lips as he tried to bare the pain. The doctor that had performed his surgery was at his sore wound and tears filled his eyes when the doctor brutally poked him there. It didn’t add to the situation that they kept asking him thousands of questions that he was too weak to answer.
Thankfully the nausea was starting to subside, just to be replaced with a metal taste in his mouth that made him want to gag. He knew it was from the blood that he had upchucked and his body had become stiff with fright when he had seen the discoloured basin. Throwing up blood. Closing his eyes, Nick felt sorry for himself. No matter how he tried he could never win.
A shiver ran through his spine as he thought back to the previous event. He had seen that Brian's mother had been in tears when the personnel came running into his room. Crying, Nick didn’t want to let go of her hand but to his despair he had witnessed how she had been forced out of the room. He had yelled for her to stay, even tried to get out of bed, but firm hands had pushed him back telling him to be still. Feeling like his only safety was going away he had cried silently. Cried out of pain, but also out of feeling lonely. Oh how he longed for his Mom. Longed for someone that would hold him, give him a hug and tell him that everything would be just fine.
Nick sobbed silently. He wanted to yell. Yell to them to let her stay, to bring her back. But all he could do was whimper. Whimper and cry. 'Are you pathetic or what?' he mentally abused himself, his fevered brain playing mind games with him.
Suddenly a new wave of pain pierced through his stomach and he moaned loudly, trying to wrap his legs towards his stomach, like a fetes. But he couldn't move. Everything hurt and he felt even sicker than before. "Oh God," he called out as the ache became worse every second, "Please make it stop."
Just when he thought that the end was near, he felt someone stroking his sweat soaked hair, "Honey I know that it hurts, just try to relax." A female voice whispered softly to him. "You will get something for your pain," the voice continued and in a fog he could feel something wet touching his arm. "This will sting a bit honey, but soon you feel no pain."
Biting his cracked lips, Nick nodded. He was doing his best to lay still and soon he felt a stinging sensation in his arm and a sense of cold travelling through his veins. He wanted to say something, but the pain combined with the shot he just received was making him all woozy and it became too difficult to think.
All he could do was lay there, feeling the numbing sensation spread through out his body and making his head and eyelids feels heavy. He started to sink. Sink slowly into darkness. Before he could feel himself slip away again a last thought crossed his mind, ' Please God, don’t let me die...'
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Not a word had been said between the two cousins since they entered the hospital once again. Brian was biting his nails frantically and Kevin studied the board in the elevator with such frenzy, like it was a nude magazine. Their thoughts were about at their little brother and Jackie's emergency call less than an hour ago. Apparently Nick was heading for the worse again and the young men didn't dare to think what could happen.
Brian, red eyed from crying, was wiping his eyes furiously in an attempt to look presentable. Kevin, still not saying anything felt an urge to offer some comfort and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry," he said hoarsely, "I’m sure that he’ll pull through."
Brian nodded quietly, not daring to open his mouth to say anything. He swallowed hard as he was fighting off the tears again. The door to the car opened and the two cousins walked towards the waiting room with heavy steps. There in a far corner sat Jackie. She looked forlorn and lost and had her eyes closed like she was asleep. Her head jerked up as she heard the two men entering the scene.
"Good that you could come," she said slowly, letting out a small smile. But the smile didn't reach her eyes. Instead she looked so tired that Brian's heart ached with the very sight of her. He had seldom seen his mother so sad and he walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her uttering a desperate, "Mooom!"
"Oh honey," she mumbled tiredly, wrapping her arms around her son.
"We came as fast as we could. How is he?" Brian was talking as fast as he could and it was obvious that he was trying to fight off the urge to start crying. Hugging him tighter Jackie stroked her son’s hair gently in an attempt to relax him. The tension that had him in a grip lessened in her embrace and soon tears rolled down his cheeks, not being stopped at all. “they are working on him.” She swallowed hard.
A darker voice was heard in the room, "What are the doctors saying? How could this happen so fast?" Kevin's voice was filled with just as much tension as Brian's and she felt an urge to hug her nephew too. His always so tall and lanky frame was hunched over in a defeated posture and his bushy eyebrows furrowed. Taking in his dishevelled appearance, Jackie thought how much Kevin would have to endure. When her brother, Kevin's dad, had died it had hurt her nephew so much. Kevin had been a teen that was full of life and emotions until his dad had died. Then he had clamped shut and became more withdrawn. Nowadays he was much too serious for a young man at his age and that had her worried. She reminded him of her brother who she missed very much.
“He has been rolled into OR again. He started throwing up blood and they had to perform surgery again.” Ending the sentence she let out her shaky breath. She was doing her best to keep her courage up and even if she did her best to hide her feelings it had scared her deeply when the teen had started to throw up blood. It reminded her too much of her brother, Kevin's dad, last days alive and she had done her best to suppress that memory and now it was coming back to hunt him. In her mind the thoughts kept pondering that the bleeding could just be from the strain from the heaving, but her hope had quickly diminished when the doctors and nurses came running in to help and then she wasn’t allowed to stay with Nick anymore.
Her sense told her that this was an emergency and it made her heart ache when she saw the thin, pale young boy getting wheeled away quickly into the elevator. That was more than an hour ago and she hadn’t heard from the personnel since then. They were back to basics. Back to where they first found themselves waiting for Nick to come out of surgery. Both Brian and Kevin had listened to her talking without saying a word, visibly shaken.
"What do you think it could be?" Kevin asked when the silence became deafening for too long. "Is it anything serious?" Brian blinked away a tear, swallowing hard as he waited for his mother to say her verdict.
"It could be anything from a strain on his stomach from the previous heaving to a´..to a..." She couldn't bear to say the words,”to a bleeding in his stomach." Twisting her hands Jackie looked up with sorrow in her eyes,”I wish I knew I really do." She sighed deeply again before continuing,”I better call Jane and Bob and inform them off their son’s condition so they can fly home to be with him.” She looked at both of the young men. “Right now I think that all we can do is wait and praying.”
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Jackie has been trying to call to Germany several times but no one had answered. They were probably still at the Thanksgiving party although she knew that it was almost dawn at the other side of the world. Johnny Wright had tried calling too but he had come up with the same result and as for now the Carters hadn’t been informed about their son’s critical condition and she silently wondered how they would react when they would find out. Being the mom of Brian she had met Nick’s parents many times but she couldn’t say that she really knew them. They mostly kept to themselves and even if they were kind she always thought that they were a bit distanced, having too much to do with their other children and their professional business.
She knew that they cared for their oldest but deep inside she also thought that they had a strange way of showing it. Nick was often left to tend to himself, although they were fast to say to the media that they were constantly standing by his side. For some strange reason she felt a bond to Nick and during the touring she often asked Brian about the teens health and well being but never in her life could she guess that she would play such a big part of it like she did right now.
The wait had been endless through out the evening and when they finally got some information regarding Nick they had waited for more than two hours. Apparently there had been an internal bleeding in the stomach, in his small intestine, but the surgeons had been able to stop it and now he was in ICU, still unconscious listed in critical condition.
Just like before, over time they had tried to encounter a person to get some information, they had been told to wait. This was getting on their nerves and after the last attempt, half an hour ago, they had heard nothing. Doctors and nurses were running back and forth in to the room and their worried frowns told them that something was not as it should be. Brian had been very impatient and he had been to the reception's desk many times demanding them to fill him in on Nick's condition. Finally he had calmed down and was now resting his head against his mother's shoulder. Kevin too had closed his eyes trying to get some well needed rest. It had been a tiresome day, both mentally as well as physically.
It was quiet in the waiting room, only a young couple was sitting there with them. Jackie had a brief conversation with the mother and it turned out that their seven month old baby was sick with a heart condition and had been in surgery. Upon hearing this Jackie was instantly reminded of her son’s ordeal as a young boy and was so grateful that he had pulled through and was well now. Since Brian had spent the better part of his young childhood in hospitals she was used to this environment and she knew most of the older nurses since that time. Looking at her son that snored softly next to her she ran her hand over his cheek with a gentle touch. She couldn't bear to think what would have happened if she had lost him. A shiver ran through her spine when she thought about how scared and frightened Nick's mother had to be, being in a foreign country and her son really ill.
It had to be morning in Europe and she hoped that Johnny had been able to get a hold of Jane. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Brian stirred slightly mumbling, "Any news about Nick?" He still had his eyes closed but it was clear that Brain's thoughts went to his sick friend even in sleep.
"No honey. Nothing. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something but for now go back to sleep. You need the rest.”
Brian mumbled something unheard and then dozed off again. Her own thoughts were interrupted by a nurse coming into the waiting room. "Mrs. Littrell?"
"Yes?" Jackie snapped her head and attention up. Were they finally getting some information about their young friend?
"There is a phone call for you. A long distance call at the reception desk" The young nurse said, pointing towards the end of the corridor.
Her heart beat fast. It was probably Nick's parents that were calling from Germany, wanting to know how their son was doing. Mr. Wright had probably already called them and told them that Nick had appendicitis and the outlook of telling the Carter's that their son was in critical condition was not something she looked forward too. She did her best not to show either Brian or Kevin how worried she was.
Nodding slightly to the nurse she moved her sons head to the side so she could get up. Brian, who normally was a light sleeper, sat up instantly, "Wha...what is it?" The young man blinked confused, trying to adjust his eyes to the light, noticing his mother standing up he made a move to stand up too, "It’s Nick isn’t it?"
"No honey, I have a phone call. You relax for now and I will be right back" Brian, too tired to say anything, nodded and then leaned his head against the wall. He rubbed his temples with his thumb like he was nursing a headache. Jackie frowned, the last thing they needed was another one sick.
Kevin on the other hand was wide awake now, "Nicks parents?" He asked while he stretched his limbs. When she nodded in response he continued, "What are you going to say to them?"
Sighing heavily she murmured, "I wish I knew." With that she followed the nurse to the reception desk. Stealing herself she grabbed the phone, "Mrs. Littrell here."
"Hi Jackie, It’s me. Jane" Mrs. Carter said sounding like a teenager. Jackie had many times marvelled over how young Nick's mother often acted. Before the older woman had a chance to open her mouth Jane continued, "Johnny called and he left us a message with this telephone number and that we should call you. Is everything alright with your husband?" Nick's mother was talking so fast that there was no stopping in-between.
Harold? It took a moment for the realization to sink into her head. Jane thought that it was her husband that was sick. This meant that Johnny hadn't told her about Nick's condition and this made it all a bit worse. "Noo it is not him that is sick."
"It isn’t?" Jane's tone was a cloud of surprise. "Well, Johnny gave me this message and this phone number and said that I should call this as soon as I could." She sounded so upset that Jackie felt uncomfortable. How was she going to say that Nick was sick, very sick without causing a riot?
Drawing her breath back she started, "It’s Nick that...” She didn't have a chance to continue when she was cut off by Jane who went on and on without listening to the message the older woman was about to say.
"I am sooo grateful that Nick could be at your home over Thanksgiving..you know we had the best party for Aaron today and his performing was such a success. You should really see him, he is like a mini Nick and people are saying that he is even more talented than his older brother. Everybody important was at the Thanksgiving dinner and.." She gushed, talking non stop. Her voice sang when she uttered the words, "They all just luuuuveee him."
For the first time in her life Jackie felt like telling an adult to shut up, but since she was raised from good Christian family she did no such thing. "Jane listen it is Nick that..."
Once again she was cut off.
"Germany, yes the whole of Europe is open for Aaron and I am sooo proud of him since everybody says that he is sooo promising. Just like Nicky." She laughed lightly, "By the way how is he doing? Nick I mean?"
"Nick is in the hospital he...”
A loud gasp was heard on the other line, "The hospital? Why? What happened? What did the boy do now?" There was a tone of accusation in her voice. "Did he fall on those roller blades again?" Answering her own question she continued, "I don’t know how many times I have told that boy to take it easy. The way he is going on he will be in for a real accident someday. You should see him Jackie, Nick is so accident prone and he can be such a klutz. Like that time when he went up to the roof pretending to be superman" She chuckled slightly at the memory, "He jumped off the roof and ended up with a concussion." For a moment Jane got serious, "I hope he hasn’t pulled one of those stunts again because if he has....."
Not listening to what Jane was telling her, Jackie felt that she was getting all worked up. Usually she held a calm position but listening to Nick's mother going on and on was making her angry. How could she talk like that about her own son? "No Jane, Nick has been in to surgery. He has appendicitis!"
"OH NOOO!" Jane yelled out in shock. Calming herself down she continued like it wasn’t affecting her too much, "This is so much like Nickolas! To get something like this when he finally has some downtime. I remember last year at this time when he got the worst flu known to mankind, ohhh he was sooo sick. We even thought he was going to be hospitalized.” Jane said dramatically. “But luckily Nick pulled through as always.” She chuckled, “He is very tough my son and the worst part was that he then infected everyone else in the family and the younger kids were sick long into the New Year.” She added as to state her point, “It was soooo baaaadddd"
Jane Carter could be such a drama queen!
The older woman couldn’t believe her ears. Here she was telling Nick’s mother that her son was out of surgery and all she got back was a lecture about how her son was so prone to all kinds of viruses. This woman was too much!
"By the way how is he doing now?"
"Unfortunately I most say; Not too good. His appendix burst and he developed Peritonitis.."
"Oh MY GOD!" Jane sounded like she was close to tears. "How is myyyyy babyyyy dooooiiing?" Her tone had suddenly changed visibly. Gone were the sarcastic remarks and the talking about Aaron, instead she sounded genuinely upset. "Can I talk to him?"
"Jane there is something I have to say to you.." Jackie was desperately searching for the right words to say without Jane breaking. "There were some complications...."
"Complications?" Jane's voice was a loud shrill. "What are you saying? What is wrong? What happened? Tell meeee!" She was yelling so loud that Jackie had to take away the lure from her ear or she wouldn't go deaf.
"Nick had internal bleeding in his stomach, more exactly small intestine and he has just come out from surgery. He´s still unconscious and they are waiting for him to wake up.” She paused, “Jane he is listed in critical condition.”
A brief silence went on while Nick’s mother took in the information. "Oh Noooo, noooo this can’t be happening, Nooo this can’t be happening, not to meeee." She moaned over and over again like she was in a great deal of pain.
This was not the reaction Jackie had expected yet she did her best to try and comfort the devastated mother and when she thought about the conversation hours later she knew what a great deal of pain the woman had to go through. Her own memory when Brian had been listed critical was etched in her brain and she had done her best to try and calm the younger woman down. Jane Carter had been close to a nervous breakdown.
But there had been something more too and that made Jackie feel just as upset. Even though Nick was very sick Jane had questioned if it was really necessary for her to leave to go back to the states. After all there was not much she said that she could do right now, but wait and talk to the doctors. When Jackie had explained that Nick wanted his mother by his side she had said that it was hard to leave Aaron and the daughters since they were in the middle of touring. The older woman had done her best to keep calm but every cell inside her screamed since she refused to think bad thoughts of Nick's mother. Jackie didn't really know Jane and the only times they had met she had acted like she was the perfect all American mother. After this last conversation Jackie was more and more certain that it was all an act. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so concerned over Aaron's touring and paid much more attention to her oldest son. True, Jane had been very upset, even shocked and in the end she had decided to book a flight over ASAP to come for her son. She was a loving mother that was not something Jackie doubted, it was more the way she showed her affection.
"How did it go? What did they say"
"Are they coming?
Both Kevin and Brian were filled with questions and with a deep sigh Jackie told the young men briefly what had been said. Brian was the first to speak up.
"So then she is coming. right?" He looked at his mother and than at Kevin before saying with a drawn out tone, "I’ll bet that Nick will be so happy."
There was something sarcastic in the way he said it that made Jackie give her son a harsh eye. Even if she had made her point clear when it came to Nick's mother, there was no use in the boys feeling the same way. "Yes, she will call us as soon as she gets the tickets. Has there been any information about Nick while I was away?"
"No" Kevin shook his head, "and that disturbs me greatly. The doctors have been in and out of his room, but no one has stopped and talked to us and.."
Brian interrupted his cousin with a small, "This is scaring me. What if the bleeding hasn't stopped? Don’t you think we should know something by now?"
"Brian you are always so impatient" Jackie said with a small smile, and then she became serious, "but yes.. I’ll guess that you are right. It is strange that we have not heard anything but right now we can do nothing but wait. Wait and see what happens."
”I hate this waiting" Brian uttered with detest. A short nod was noticed from Kevin's direction, "Yeah I know what you mean. I wish there were something we could do..you know. Just sitting here makes me restless" His voice was drowned out by a loud alarm coming from Nick's room and a red signal flashing above his door.
The otherwise empty corridor was filled with personnel in white coats running into Nick's room. One nurse didn't close the door shut enough and in horror they watched the scenario playing up in front of their eyes. A loud booming voice was heard, "He’s crashing. I need the crash cart. NOW!"
A woman's head was seen briefly in the door opening and then the door closed upon them, leaving them wondering what was going on inside the room. It was all so surreal, just like a nightmare was coming to life. They looked at each other, their eyes filled with worry and tears that were burning. Nick was in a much worse condition that they could ever imagine.
There was complete silence in the waiting room. Not even the young couple said anything. The three of them just sat, staring at the closed door where doctors and nurses were working on their friend.
Trying desperately to save his life.
