Nick wasn’t a cry-baby, had never been and would never be, but at that very moment when he woke up feeling so bad he felt tears roll down his cheek. The nurse, too old to be his mother had hushed him down and then told him that everything would be fine before wiping away the evidence of how weak and miserable he was feeling. She was the one coming to his rescue and when she told him that she was going to get someone he had thought he was dreaming. It was so hot and uncomfortable that the sheets on his body felt all sticky and achy. This was a safe sign that he was running a fever; presumably a high one and he wanted so badly for his mom to be there for him. Opening his eyes he scanned the room only to find Brian and his mother sitting next to him on chairs. Brian was engrossed in reading a magazine while Jackie sat beside him, her warm brown eyes looking down at him.
“Hello Nick,” she smiled. “You have been sleeping for quite awhile, haven’t you?” When he didn’t answer and instead let out a groan of being displeased, she continued, this time with a worried tone in her voice, “What’s the matter honey? Are you in much pain?”
All he could do was whimper in response and even that hurt.
“You want me to call the nurse? Ask her to give you something for the pain?”
He had no chance to make a response since at that very moment Brian decided to join into the conversation. “Hey buddy,” he said. “I thought you were a goner there for a moment. But I’m glad that you decided not to drop out on us.” He let up a smile. A smile that only Brian could do. It had warmth and attitude and happiness and seriousness. It was hard to describe but Nick recognized it even in the midst of his own desperation. It was strangely comforting and it was Brian’s way of caring.
“Honey you want me to call for the doctor?” Jackie was there with her questions again and when he didn’t answer due to a wave of pain in his abdomen the older woman told something to her son who immediately got up and left the room.
He frowned back at her. Where did Brian go?
“I sent him to get your doctor,” Jackie explained, and then she said with a serious tone, “Is it your stomach that is bothering you so much? You think you’re going to be sick? She reached for the basin when he stopped her hand.”
“Do..Don’t..I’m fi..fine.”
Her eyes told him that he was far from fine but she stopped her actions and instead went back to holding his hand. That time Nick saw his opportunity to ask what had happened since he had no memory of it all. “ Wha..what happened? Why am I laying here?”
“You don’t remember?”
“Nooo.” He licked his lips. That was the truth. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t remember the reason for him staying in the hospital or why his stomach hurt so much. And the strange words Brian had uttered didn’t help much either. It was all very confusing.
“Nick you have been very ill. Very, very ill.” She had a serious frown on her forehead. “You were diagnosed with appendicitis and they had to remove your appendix, but it burst before they could do that so it resulted in internal bleeding. It’s called Peritonitis and it can be very dangerous if not treated right away.” " Ohhhh." No wonder that he felt so bad.
“When you first came into the hospital they were afraid that you had gone into shock.”
Nick’s eyes widened. This sounded more serious than he’d ever thought it would be. As if that wasn’t enough Jackie continued with her story, “You have been running a very high temperature too and if I’m not mistaken I think it’s still too high.” She felt his forehead. “Yes it’s still there,” she snickered.
He didn’t know what to say, but the more she told him the more everything was starting to make sense. The memory of the previous days were coming back to him and it was no wonder that he’d felt so miserable, especially the day before. As if thing’s were not bad enough Jackie told him that he had an infection too and that was why he had antibiotics pumping into his system through the IV line. Now he understood what that nurse had meant when she’d told him that he’d been really through the wringer.
Nick was starting to get tired, yet he had to find the answer to one question that tortured his mind all the time. Where was his mother and why wasn’t she there with him? He coughed as to clear his voice before he took the courage to ask what haunted him. “Is..Is my mom here?”
Brian’s mom jumped a little at the question and suddenly Nick didn’t know if he wanted her to answer it. It was clear that she wasn’t there but he had to ask. After all she could’ve been to the restroom or down the cafeteria for all he knew.
“No Nick.” Jackie looked at him. “She isn’t. Jane and Bob are in Germany with Aaron.”
Nick could see how uncomfortable she was with the answer and he felt a bit bad for asking her the following sentence but he just had to know. Had to know if they cared about him enough to get on a plane and come and be with him. “Is she..Are they coming?” For a moment it felt like the time went in slow motion and it felt like forever before Brian’s mom made a reply.
“Nick…it’s a long way to Germany and it’s not that easy to get plane tickets over here.”
“But they do know that I’m ill don’t they?” His tone went up in falsetto and even if it hurt his stomach to talk he didn’t care. He just had to know the answer to that question.
“Yes honey,” she smiled at him before stroking the sweaty bangs from his forehead. “Yes I called them and they sent you their love. They hoped that you would be better soon..”
Nick interrupted her… “But they are not coming are they?”
Jackie sighed. “Nick..like I said it’s not that easy. It can be very complicated and…”
“And what?” The calm the teen had tried to muster was suddenly shot to hell and even if the pure movement made his stomach hurt so much that he thought he would pass out he still felt both angry and sad. Disappointing. His mom, his dad would not be coming to see him even if he was as sick as he was now. Didn’t they care about him at all?
“Nick calm down. It won’t do you any good to be this agitated.” Jackie tried to get him to relax but it was futile. Tears were running down his eyes and no matter how hard he tried to bite back the sadness he couldn’t. It was bad enough that they had left him on Thanksgiving, now they wouldn’t come to him even if he was sick. What kind of parents were they? Didn’t they love him? Wasn’t he good enough for them?
He could feel Brian’s mother give him a hug, “Sweetie you’re tired. That is why everything seems so hard right now. And you’re in pain too. Like I said before Jane is trying to get some tickets and I’m sure that they will try and come to you if they can. For now try and rest. You have been through a hard time and you’re still very weak.”
But Nick didn’t want to hear those words. Instead he mumbled, “I don’t care.” He then tried to roll on his side, even if the stitches hurt his stomach more than he could imagine. Yet he did nothing to tell anyone how bad he felt. The pain was strangely comforting. At least it made him realize that he was still alive.
“Where did Brian go?” Jackie mumbled to herself when she saw the action the sick teen was taking. Her son was taking much too long and she stood up so she could get the doctor by herself. At that very moment the door opened and in came Brian, the doctor and a nurse.
“It’s about time,” she muttered. Ignoring her comment the doctor walked briskly into the room and over to the bed.
“I heard you woke up Nickolas,” he said with a booming voice. Nick who was feeling too miserable both mentally and physically didn’t answer and instead sobbed under the covers.
The doctor frowned, “Did something happen that I should know of?”
The older woman was about to say no when Nick piped up, “Only that my mom and dad don’t care about me enough to come and visit me when I’m sick.” The words hit like arrows through the people standing in the room and the doctor, who was known to be a hard headed man said, “I doubt that your parents wouldn’t care...”
“But I do..And they don’t.” Nick interrupted, still his head under the covers.
The burlesque doctor placed his large hand on Nick’s shoulder and then said with a much gentler voice, “If that is the case, which I still pretty much doubt.” When Nick opened his mouth to object he held up his hand, “Oh let me finish.” When there was no further interruption he went on, “Anyway I’m pretty sure that they would have some very good reasons for not coming here.”
“They are in Germany with his little brother. Touring.” Brian felt he had to explain the situation.
“Oh that would explain a good deal,” the doctor smiled to Nick who had taken off his covers again. “That is a rather long distance.”
“I know,” Nick mumbled. “I have been there. Several times. Touring. But it’s not too far to come for their son.” The last words were said in silence but everyone in the room heard it.
The doctor however, choosed to ignore that very last comment. “Even if I can understand your disappointment I want you to try thinking of other things beside that. You have been a very sick boy and for a while there, we were afraid that we would loose you.”
“Apparently my parents didn’t think so.” Nick hadn’t still left the feelings of being left out. Of being forgotten.
Once again the doctor acted like he hadn’t heard a word and instead he said, “The appendicitis you had Nickolas was in a very late stage. It was so late that your appendix burst and that is what caused the infection that you’re battling right now.”
“I know,” Nick mumbled. “Brian’s mom told me that.”
“Good.” The doctor smiled since his patient was back from under the covers. “Nickolas even if you don’t think so, you are one lucky boy to be alive. “
“Yes,” the nurse filled in. “You had a close call.”
Nick looked up. He didn’t think he was very lucky. Here he was lying in a hospital bed, feeling sicker than ever before; his stomach about to explode and his heart aching for his mom and dad to care for him. “Maybe it would have been better for everyone if I had died,. I always mess up.”
“Don’t say that”
“But it’s true.” Nick objected. “Look at me. I’m getting invited to Brian’s for Thanks giving and give my luck, I end up in the hospital. Talk about being a nuisance, a failure. Not even my own mom and dad cares about me enough to come and see me.
Nick's voice was weak but the selfpity was evident.
“No Nick don’t say that. You are a fantastic boy and we care so much about you. You are so welcome to our house and it’s not your fault that you ended up in the hospital.” Jackie smiled at him and Nick could feel the warmth and kindness radiate from her. But it wasn’t Brian’s mom who made him realize that he wasn’t the bad person that he made himself out to be.
“Yes Kaos. Listen to mom, she's right. I really wanted you to come here and it doesn’t matter that you have been sick most of the time. I’m still happy to have you here.” Brian smiled at him. “Nick you’re my buddy. You’re my little brother and I love you no matter what you think of yourself. “
For the first time since Nick had arrived in Kentucky he felt a reason to smile. Not just with his lips but with his eyes. It was true. Brian had really wanted him to come. He wasn’t just a nuisance, someone to feel sorry for. He was cared for and the best of all he was Brian’s brother. His little brother.
