"Okay... yes I think so too. Yes baby I hope that we get to see each other soon. I miss you honey." Brian was talking on the phone with the love of his life, his girlfriend Leighanne. It was nearly a month since they had seen each other and he was counting the days until they could be together again. "No baby, nah it isnīt too stressful. Yes I am taking care of myself." On the other line Leighanne was worried over his health, mainly the open heart surgery that she knew would come in a couple of months. Brian was worried too. Even more than he wanted to let on. Yet he also knew that there was no turning back. He had to do it if he wanted to survive. Leaning down on his elbows, he put the phone next to his chin and cheek as he fetched the remote control, turning to Mtv. "No he's in the bathroom. Yes everything is alright." Brian glanced towards the closed bathroom door. He didn't want to worry Leighanne more than neccessary. Not that he thought that she would be too concerned over Nick. The truth was that the two of them didn't get on too well together and Brian suspected that the only reason why they talked was beacuse of him. Kevin on the other hand worked pretty good with his girlfriend.
A soft knock on the door broke his concentration. "Hold on, there's someone at the door." Putting down the receiver on the purple bedspread, he set down his bare feet on the cold linoleum floor, padding over to open the door. He paid no further attention to who was at the door, instantly returning back to bed. Looking up he saw that it was his cousin that came for a visit. A short nod and then he was back to the conversation. "Where were we?
The tall man, frowned. He had changed his clothes to something more casual, dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a white T-shirt. He too was barefoot like his cousin. Running a hand through the dark hair he whispered, "Howīs he doing?"
Shaking his head Brian montioned towards the receiver that he was busy talking, "No hon. It was just Kev that came in."
"Just Kev! Boy do I feel wanted." The Kentuckian pretended to be hurt, but a smile toyed on his lips. The smile faded, "Where is he?" Without further delay Brian pointed towards the closed bathroom door. They could hear the shower running inside. Raising an eyebrow Kevin asked, "Is he okay?"
Brian shrugged back. He really didnīt know. Nick was a tough character to understand and when he thought he had a hunch on the teen he often found out that he didnīt know him at all. Nick was a bundle of emotions which had him react and act in all sorts of ways. Sometimes in a non understandable way to his surroundings.
"Has he been in there long?"
Brian nodded. "About an hour," he whispered, turning back to Leighanne, "No. I was just talking to Kev."
His cousin frowned. "You think he is alright?"
Another shrug. Brian didnīt know that either. As soon as they had come back from the hotel Nick had gone straight back to their shared room, locking himself in the bathroom. No matter how much Brian had pressed on, wanting the teen to talk he had clammed up. The anxiety attack that he had experienced on the bus had scared them and when Brian wanted to know how it had effected his friend the teen had just shrugged it off, saying that he was fine. Brian didnīt buy those words at all. Nick had been carried by the strong bodyguard so that he didn't get crushed under the masses of fans that were pressing, trying to get close to their idol. It had been totally crazy out there and to tell the truth he had been scared too. Nick on the other hand had been in fitful panic. Once they were in safe again he could see that his friend was as white as a sheet, trembling like a leaf, yet he said nothing and Brian hadnīt wanted to press on. Nick would talk when he felt ready to do that.
From the corner of his eye he saw Kevin set his steps towards the small bathroom, knocking softly "Are you there Nick?"
Brian couldn't help but grin at his cousins stupid comments. Who else would be there? No response came and he turned his attention back to Leigh again. She was talking about a new outfit that she had bought, "No Iīm not doing something else" White lie. "Yes I AM paying attention to you!" That was another white lie, since his attentíon was mostly directed towards his cousins futile attenpts to get Nick to open up.
"Nick if youīre there open up!" Kevin barked, knocking harder on the door. Still no response. Pressing his ear towards the door Brian could see a frown on his cousin.
"What?" Brian mouthed, holding a hand over the phone, blocking out all sounds. "Do you hear anything?"
Shaking his head, Kevin held up a hand, "Nick are you alright?" he called out. He could have sworn that he heard sobbing in there.
Finally a life sign.
"GO AWAY!" Nick's voice was thick like he had been crying and this had Kevin pounding even harder on the door.
"Open up! NOW!"
"I'm taking a shower. GO!" Nick shouted as he out voiced the waterflow inside.
"Nick!"
Something was thrown at the door. It was clear that the teen wanted to be left alone. The tall man sighed. There was no use in trying to get Nick to reason when he was in this mood. And he had been like this for a long time. Surrendering to Nick's will, Kevin sighed deeply, walking over to sit on the empty bed in the corner of the large room. He had to wait until Nick thought it was okay to come out. When was no telling when though, due to the teens strange behavoir. Sweeping a hand over his face he felt torn. God knew that he wasnīt assigned to be the kids babysitter and dealing with a moody teen was more than he bargained for.
Looking at his side he saw that Brian was engrossed in his conversation with Leighanne and they seemed to be laughing over something together. In the midst of his misery he couldnt help to think that Leighanne did his cousin good. He was starting to mature and this was good since dealing with two hyper "teens" was more than he could handle right now. A pain of sadness felt in his heart when he thought about his girlfriend back home. He had known Kristin since they were teenagers and even if they fought they always came back to each other. This time however he wasnīt too sure. He had been unfaitful to her, maybe one time too many and right now their relationship was on hiatus.
Finally Brian was making signs that he was about to hang up. "Well honey I gotta go. Kevīs waiting. Yeah I'll call you tomorrow. Kisses. I love ýou too." The Kentuckian made a kissing sound in the receiver before hanging up, smiling like a cat that caught a bird.
"Tell Leigh bye for me," Kevin said a bit too late.
"Sorry," Brian appologized as he stretched in bed, "She hung up."
"S'okey." Kevin sighed as he motioned with his head towards the door. "What should we do about HIM?"
Following his friends tracks Brian's smile faded as he looked towards the closed door, "Howīs it going? Any progress?"
"Nah." Kevin shook his head. "That teen is so damn stubborn."
"Yeah I know." Brian grinned. "Just leave him alone. Heīll come when he feels ready for it."
"Mhm..I hope so. I thought I heard him crying, but I might mistaken."
Upon hearing these words Brian sat up straighter in bed, "You heard what?" He moved swiftly over to the door, suddenly very concerned over the outcome. "Nick," he knocked once more, "Nick are you alright?"
A mumble was heard.
"Are you crying?"
"NOOOOOO!!" Nick yelled from the otherside. "Jeeze Frick canīt I even take a shower without you acting like I am dying?"
A bit hurt Brian backed away, "There's no need to be pissed off. Sorry that I asked," he grunted back as he walked down to his bed again, head hanging.
"Donīt mind him," Kevin comforted his cousin. "He is just being a moody teen."
Brian looked up, meeting his friends green eyes. "I really hope that it is all there is." To tell the truth he felt more and more concerned over Nick's strange behavoir. Kaos had always been a kid that was easy to get alng with, but these past weeks he seemed so moody. So withdrawn. Almost like something was hounding him. Not leaving him alone. Shrugging Brian continued, "Anyway did you want anything more than to see how Frack was doing?"
Kevin nodded. "Yeah I came to warn you two."
"Warn us? About what?" Looking over at his cousin he said with concern, "What is going on Kev?"
Massaging his temples the young man started, "Johnny and Clark had one hell of a fight. You should have heard them and it ended with Johnny giving Clark the boot!"
"The boot? You mean he fired him?"
"Yes."
"Man, why?"
"I dont know but I think it had something to do with Nick." Kevin sighed as he rubbed his temples in smooth round circles, "God I have this headache," he added with a frown, "You have any Tylenol?"
"Check that sportsbag," he pointed with his finger towards the white and blue bag that was carelessly thrown on the floor, stuff ripped open. Then he continued, "Nick? youīre kidding me?"
"Thanks man," Kevin was already searching for the wanted item. Finding the bottle he opened it up, shaking out two pills into the palm of his hand. "You have any water?" He searched around for something to drink.
"No, check the minibar." Impatience was heard in the short mans voice as he repeated, "Youīre saying that they were arguing about Nick?" He looked a bit suspecious, "Youīre not pulling my leg are you?"
"Nope!" Kevin jumped off bed, walking over to the minibar. "Clark mentioned something that Johnny was pushing us and especially Nick too hard and this got Johnny really pissed. Especially when he said that he was going to report "the abuse" to someone higher up." He took out a beer. "You want one?"
"No." Brian shook his head. "Go on!"
"Anyway Johnny got mad and fired Clark on the spot." Kevin sighed as he took a swig. "You sure that you donīt want anything? This is really good."
"Noooo man," Brian groaned. He loved his cousin but when it came to telling something Kevin could go on forever. "God, what do we do now? I donīt think that Johnny can handle this all alone. Can he?"
"Okay, your loss." With that he threw the white pills in his mouth, returning back to the bed. Answering Brian's question he said, "No, I donīt think he can either and this is why I am coming to warn you. Guess who has decided to show up?"
"Donna?"
"Nope Mr. Pearlman has decided to grace us with his presence."
"LOU!!!! Oh man!!" Brian grabbed at his head. Turning to his cousin he said with hope in his voice, "Youīre kidding me right?"
"Naaa," Kevin shook his head again. "I wish I was though." He took another swig from the beer.
"Oh brother Nick will be so thrilled." There was massive sarcasm in his voice. "Dude, this canīt get any worse," he mumbled more to himself than to anyone else.
Kevin nodded. "I'm guessing youīre right on that one."
As if on cue they heard how the water was turned off and a loud bang was heard. A loud, "FUCK!" and then the sound of someone violently vomiting filled the entire room. Both cousins looked at each other, shaking their heads as they uttered in unsion, "I guess not!"
'You are so fucking pathetic Carter,' the voice told him over and over again as he purged violently into the porcelin bowl. Closing his eyes, didn't want to have to face the mess he had created in the swirling water below. When all that was left was dry heaves he reached for the toilet handle like a blind man, still not looking. The smell that assualted his nostrils was nothing but pleasant and it made him feel even more nauseaous. Groaning, he flushed the evidence away. The evidence of him being a small patetic creep that couldnīt handle any pressure. He was a whimp!
Shit, his stomach hurt so much from the heaving, but he had to get the food out of his system. Now he felt several pounds lighter, almost normal, ready to face the world again. His thoughts were interrupted by his concerned friends once again calling out for him.
"Nick, Are you Okay?"
"Open up, let us help you."
They had been banging on and off for a while now, yet he had choosed to ignore them. First because he was pissed that they were on his case all the time, second because he félt too sick to answer them. But the third reason was the strongest one. He didnīt want anyone to see him in the miserable state that he was in. Not that they hadnīt seen him sick before, no it was more that this time HE was the reason why he was expelling his stomach contents like a dirty old sock turned inside and out.
He felt a bit better. Not fine, but better. Sitting up he noticed that he was naked. The need to puke had hit him so bad while he was showering. Not because he felt sick, at least not in the right sense, mentally was another question. No more because seeing himself in his birthday suit made him queasy. No matter how he tried he couldnt get rid of the obsessed idea that his body was all but a bundle of fat, dripping away. He looked like a bloated pig!
A sudden rush of nausea washed over him and he was happy that he was still kneeling beside the throne. Leaning over he did his procedure, closing his eyes as he awaited for the heaves to come. He hated this! It was the worst thing he did. Puking. Ever since he was little he always fought when he was feeling sick to the bitter end. Throwing up was something that he tried to avoid as much as possible, yet it had latley been a way for him to control his own feelings. The more he mangae to expell the better he felt!
This time it was false alarm as his stomach had nothing for him to spew. Spitting the yellow bile into the bowl he hoped that he was done for now. Standing up he noticed that his legs felt like overcooked spaghetti. A dizziness washed over him and he would have fallen if he didn't have the wash basin to steady himself against. Even in his most miserable state he still found the sitiuation a bit humorous. Here he was standing, buttnaked in a hotel room with his two brothers screaming at him from the other side. Maybe humourous wasnīt the right name. Pathetic might be better words. Sighing, he pulled down the towel from the rack, drying himself off. Before he was done wiping he was sent back to the toilet bowl, heaving one more time. When he was sure that the worst was over he brushed his teeth and wiped away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. The queasy feeling that had followed him ever since he ate earlier was gone now, replaced with a new refreshed feeling. Looking in the mirror he could have swore that he had lost a pound or two.
Nick smiled to himself. This felt good.
The satisfaction didnīt last long as Brian banged hard on his door. "Come on Frack let me in now." There was desperation in the young mans voice.
Feeling better the door unlocked with a click just to be met with both Brian and Kevin practically falling through. Startled, he jumped aside as the two of them came tumbelling in like projectiles. "Wow I didnīt know that I was that popular." He grinned.
When the two men had regained their posture they turned towards their little brother, concern shining in their eyes. "Dude how are you doing?"
"Iīm fine." Nick mumbled, not wanting to look them in their eyes. "Why are you asking?"
"Fine? Kaos youīre not fine. You were throwing up. That is far from fine according to my book." Kevin wasnīt that easily fooled, neither was Brian who tried to look into the bathroom, in search for something.
Nick narrowed his eyes, "What are you looking for Bri?"
"Oh nothing." The Kentuckian drew back his head, offering no further explanation. Nick didnīt have to guess twice what his friend was suspecious off. He was so relieved that he managed to throw all the food garbage away before they had left for the press conference otherwise he would have been in for a real treat.
Kevin hadnīt settled down yet, "Why were you throwing up then?"
"Why?" Nick was stalling as he left the bathroom with just a towel around his hips. "Eh...maybe because I was feeling sick, or I had eaten something bad or.. Who knows why people throw up?" He was acting like a drama queen, flailing with his arms. All to stall the situation at hand.
"Kaos I didnīt want you to write an essay. I just wanted to know how you were doing." Kevin seemed annoyed.
Nick shrugged back "Sorry."
"Sick? Are you sick Frack?" Brian had that suspecious look, kind of like a detective and that made Nick feel even more insecure.
It felt like all air went out in him. "I donīt know.." he sighed before thinking what he really said. When he saw the frowns on the two cousins foreheads he changed his version again, " Might be the nerves. My stomach been acting quite funny lately."
"Maybe you ate too much," Brian offered, getting a weird glare back from Kevin.
"Why would Kaos eat too much?" Kevun scratched his head. "You didnīt eat that much for dinner. Did you?"
Nick shook his head.
Kevin sensing that he was onto something turned back to Brian, "Why did you ask that question? Is there something I donīt know about?" Suspecion gleemed in his eyes.
"No.. no." Brian wasnīt inclined to reveal anything about Nick's overeating. At least not now. "I donīt know. I just thought so." He narrowed his eyes towards Nick who shifted nervously. "You didn't overindulge yourself did you?"
Nick felt himself blush as he looked down to the floor. "No," he said barely audible.
"What are you two talking about?" Kevin was getting aggrivated. "Speak up so I know what you mean." Turning to Nick he said, "What does Brian mean by that?"
"No idea." Nick tried to act like it didn't bother him at all, yet he could feel the looks that Brian sent out, he was onto him! And soon Kevin would be that too.
"Now when the bathroom is finally avaliable," Brian shot a glance towards Nick who fidgeted where he stood. "Iīm going in." With that he opened the door and went inside.
"Take your time," Kevin said calmly, "We are not going anywhere. Are we?" He turned towards the teen, "Ok Nick why did you get sick?"
"I think it could have been the nerves you know That situation outside really scared the crap out of me." He smiled paley, "Anyway I feel fine now."
"Really?" Kevin stroked his chin. "B said you had a fever. Maybe you are coming down with the flu like the rest of us had?" Mr. Richardson always tried to come up with plausible explanation for everything and Nick wished that he would once in a while lighten up. Chill out. Donīt worry so much.
"Yeah come to think of it." He sniffled as an exclamation. "Maybe you're right. The flu is finally getting to me." Standing up he walked over to his suitcase. Hunching over he searched for a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. Kevin studied him in silence.
"Dude, you sure have started to pack on a few pounds lately. Maybe you should start working out with me." The words held nothing bad to it, but Nick jerked back upon hearing this.
Now they were ALL nagging him about his weight!
Quickly he put on his T-shirt, hoping that it would cover most of his stomach. With a pale smile he stood up, trying to act like the words hadnīt hit him like a knife in his back. He pretended to yawn. "Iīm going to bed. Iīm beat."
"Sounds like a good idea," Kevin perked up. "Maybe we should all follow that example. Iīm tired too." He yawned, but made no attempt to get out of bed.
Nick coughed lightly "Hmm..hey Kev."
"Aha?"
"I said I was going to bed." the teen clarified slowly, like he didn't want to disturb his friend, who seemed to be ingrossed in watching tv.
"Mhmm.." No movement.
"Ehhh.. I am going to lay down in THIS bed." He patted with his hand on the bedspread.
"Oh." Finally the coin fell down in the slot machine. Kevin stood up, apologizing. "Iīm sorry."
"No problem." Nick jumped under the covers, laying down his aching head on the soft pillow. It felt good and he started to think that he was more exhausted than he had let on.
"Well I better get going then," Kevin looked at Nick who had drawn the sheet up to his neck. "Just wanted to hear how you were doing Kaos."
"I said I was fine."
"Yeah so I noticed." His voice held a tone of sarcasm. "Anyway I came to tell you that Lou Pearlman will be joining us tomorrow."
"LOU? Why?" Now it was Nick's turn to be shocked. The last thing he wanted was Lou "The Pig" Pearlman to be on his case about his weight. Johnny was bad enough, but Lou was down right mean. He loved spiting him. As Kevin told him the story he drew a shaky hand over his face. Groaning.
Oh how he loved his life!
