AJ, Kevin, Howie and Brian sat silently on the bus, watching as Lou Pearlman squeezed his massive frame into a booth by the table. The fat manager sighed as he glanced at his wrist watch for the third time since the boys had entered the tour bus.
“As usual, we have are at the mercy of when that kid is going to show up,” Pearlman mumbled, quickly casting a glare at Kevin. “Do you have any idea what’s keeping the boy?”
Kevin met the manager’s glare, not shying away. “He was upset when he left the breakfast table. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had something to do with his mood.”
Pearlman seemed slightly amused by Kevin’s remark, shaking his head causing his chins to sway slightly. “You’re quite humerous, Richardson.” He glanced at his watch again. “I’ll give Mr. Carter five more minutes and then I’ll be garnishing his pay one hundred dollars for every minute he’s late after this.”
”A hundred dollars!” Brian shouted. Howie and Kevin stared at the manager with their mouths agape. AJ however, didn’t seem to care about anything that was going on, he was off in his own little sleepy world trying to fend off the hangover that seemed to be growing as each minute ticked by on the clock.
“I don’t think you can do that,” Kevin retorted.
Pearlman leveled his gaze into the young singer’s green eyes. “I can do whatever I want. I own you.”
“A hundred dollars is a bit excessive,” Brian challenged.
“Maybe he could do something to work off being late, but seriously, a hundred dollars?” Howie questioned quietly, afraid to speak up.
The humming of the bus engine was the only sound in answer to Howie’s question. Pearlman didn’t wish to speak further on the subject; content with sitting and staring out the window looking for the missing Backstreet Boy.
“Well, well,” the manager chuckled as he looked at his watch again. The doors to the bus swished open and Nick came into view followed by Johnny Wright. “We’re going to have to teach you how to read a clock. Isn’t that something you were suppose to have been taught by second grade?”
“I found him sitting in his room in the dark,” Johnny explained, taking a seat in the booth across from Pearlman.
Upon hearing that Nick was sitting alone in the dark, his bandmates glanced at each other, concern etched on their faces.
Brian couldn’t help but notice Nick’s flushed complextion and red rimmed eyes. “Are you alright?”
Nick kept his gaze trained to his lap, refusing to make eye contact. “I’m fine,” he mumbled.
Brian pressed, not wishing to drop the subject. He was alarmed at Nick’s flat, monotoned voice. “Something’s bothering you, let’s talk about it.”
Holding a chubby hand in the air, Lou Pearlman circled it with his fingers. “Nick, come here, I need to have a word with you.”
“Can’t this wait?” Johnny interrupted. “He’s clearly upset about something.”
“I have a business to run and I don’t need your two cents worth in this!” the manger snapped. “Nick..... here..... now!”
Keeping his vision set to the floor, Nick slowly slid his body from the seat, walking toward the booth.
“We seem to be having an attitude problem with you lately! Are you having some troubles that is affecting your attitude?”
“No sir,” Nick mumbled, keeping his gaze to the floor.
“You seem to think that this group runs on your schedule. Do you think it’s fair for the rest of us to wait until Nick Carter decides it’s time to get up or it’s time to eat?”
Nick winced hearing his name being called out sarcastically. He kept his eyes trained to the floor, tears pooling in his eyes. “No sir.”
“Speaking of eating, I see that you ate like a pig yesterday in your room. We’ve had a talk about your weight and how fat you’re getting---”
”That’s enough!” Johnny yelled.
“This is my charge,” Lou hissed glaring at his assistant manager. He quickly turned his steel eyed gaze back towards the young singer. “Nick I’ve told you time and time again that you’re getting too big. No one likes a fat teen idol.”
“I’m sorry,” came the mumbled reply.
This time it was Kevin that jumped to Nick’s defense. “There’s nothing wrong with Nick’s weight! If there’s any weight anyone should be concerned about it’s yours you fatass bastard!”
Lou Pearlman bore his eyes into Kevin’s. ”You’ve just lost phone priviledges, mister.” His comment was more of a growled statement rather than a command.
“Nick is only a teenager, his body is still changing and you don’t seem to take that into consideration!” Brian chipped in, desperate to get some sense into the obese manager. “And I’m sorry to say it too, but I agree with Kevin, you need to be concerned about your own weight.”
Pearlman started laughing and shaking his head. “You just lost your phone priviledges too....anyone else?”
”STOP IT! STOP FIGHTING ABOUT ME!” Nick yelled looking at his bandmates with teary eyes. “I’m nothing but a fat fuck up and I don’t need anyone’s help, okay? It’s my problem not yours! God I wish I was dead...”
His voice trailed off and he quickly left the living quarters and ran back to the safety of the bunks in the rear of the bus, covering his ears, desperate to block out the sounds of Kevin calling him back.
Ignoring Kevin’s calls, Nick threw himself into a bunk and drew the heavy curtains shut, blocking out any possiblity of light getting in.
“I’m nothing but a fat fuckup,” he mumbled to himself. “Everyone hates me.”
His stomach growled as if in reply to his comments.
“God my body doesn’t even respond to the diet pills.” Turning onto his side, he tried to ignore the gnawing feelings in the pit of his stomach. He was unsuccessful in his attempts and Nick wished he had taken his backpack with him when he ran to the bunks.
The tears that had pooled in his eyes finally spilled over. “I’m never gonna be anything but a fatass. Why do I even bother?”
“Two more weeks of this shit and I can sleep in my own bed,” AJ reminded himself as he looked out the bus window toward the hotel building they would be calling home for the next three days.
Johnny clamped a hand on the skinny man’s shoulder. “It’s all a part of what you signed your name on the dotted line for. It’s really not that bad, is it?”
AJ grunted a reply as he gathered his magazines and cd collection. He bumped into Brian as he tried to grab his duffle bag. “Watch where you’re walking freak!”
“Huummpf,” Brian sniffed as he tried to step around his bandmate.
AJ retorted by sticking his elbow into Brian’s side.
”HEY! That’s uncalled for!”
“You were in my way, excuse me all to hell.”
“McLean, you need to get more sleep,” Johnny annouced, shaking his head with a smirk on his face. “Littrell, go back and grab Carter, he obviously has fallen asleep again.”
Rubbing his side, Brian nodded. He wasn’t too far from where Nick laid when he heard the all-too-familiar sound of the young man snoring. Obviously fast asleep. Pushing the curtains aside, he pressed on the boy’s shoulder. “Nick... Nick, we’re at the hotel, time to get up.”
Nick squinted as he looked up toward the voice. He moaned and then rolled his back to him.
Brian, being the presistent person that he was, pushed Nick harder on the shoulder. “C’mon bro, you need to get up and go to bed.”
Pulling the comforter over his head, he managed to mumble, “Leave me alone.”
Brian tugged the thick blanket from Nick’s face. “You’re gonna suffocate--”
“I don’t care.”
“Come on bud, let’s get out of this smelly bus and into our rooms.”
“Go without me.”
Exasperated with the stubborn teen, Brian sighed loudly. “What the heck crawled up your butt?” He stood waiting for a response for a few moments and when he didn’t get any response, he shoved Nick hard on the back. “C’mon, I’m tired too.”
When Nick’s response was drawing the blanket back over his head, Brian screamed with his mouth closed. “You little creep!”
Bracing himself for another attack from Brian and his attempts at getting the blanket off him, Nick was surprised to hear footsteps going away from him.
Brian had left him!
“That’s okay, no one wants me around anyway. I’m a fuck up,” Nick mumbled as he shifted his body into a more comfortable position. He decided he would stay in his bunk for a few more minutes to make his own ‘personal statement’ about being left alone.
Nick shivered despite the thick blanket that was covering his body. The bus seemed dark and quiet.
Very quiet.
Stretching in his bunk, he decided he better gather his gear and head into the hotel. Sitting up, he was still trying to figure out why there wasn’t any noises coming from the bus. The constant humming of the engines were missing.
“Ray?” he croaked as he pushed the curtain aside. Panic started to set into his mind when he discovered that the running lights that were usually glowing on the bus were off. He scooched his body off the mattress and hopped onto the floor. “What the fuck? Hello? Ray?”
He walked away from the sleeping quarters toward the front of the bus. Surely the driver had to be up there, Nick thought to himself.
He was scared to peek under one of the shades that had been drawn shut on the bus windows unsure of what he would find. His heart seemed to be racing in his chest as he faught off the panic that was rising in his body.
“This is what you wanted, wasn’t it Nick?” he said aloud to himself. Sighing, he leaned on one knee across a seat and lifted up the corner of a shade. Instead of being met with a honey yellow glow of hotel lights or street lights, Nick was met with a blue-ish white glow of a mercury light and the backdrop of a small forest like grove of trees and a bunch of tourist buses and motor homes.
“Fuck.”
Not only had he been left alone, Nick realized, he had been driven to a parking lot for the bus to be stored while they stayed in the city for their three day venue. Scrambling out of his seat, Nick rushed over to the opposite side of the bus and again peeked out the window from under a shade.
“Awe shit!”
The hotel was no where to be seen. Reality had struck him in the face. He was not only alone, he was stranded God-knows-where in God-knows-what country. To top it all off, all of his belongings weren’t laying where he had left them.
“Oh this is just peachy, for the first time in my life someone decided to take my things into the hotel,” Nick moaned.
Stomping back toward the sleeping quarters, Nick debated on whether he should stay where he was at or leave the bus and find the hotel. Shivering as he thought his situation over, Nick rubbed his hands over his arms that he had folded across his chest.
“Shit, I can’t stay here, I’ll be a Nicksicle when they come find me tomorrow.”
“Hey Brian, have you seen Nick?”
Not bothering to look up to aknowledge Kevin, Brian kept on with his preoccupation of unpacking his suitcase. “Nope.”
“Has Howie mentioned seeing Nick?”
Brian hesitated for a moment, still not looking up. “Howie was out clubbing with Jay last night, I didn’t talk to him when he got back in.” Grabbing an armful of clothes, he stepped around Kevin. “Did you even think about asking Jay since he’s bunking with the kid?”
Kevin lightly slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Gosh, I didn’t think about that, thanks cuz, what would I do without you? Of course I asked Bone but he was worthless in getting any information through a closed door!”
Leaning against the dresser, Brian stared at his cousin. “Why is it so urgent now that you need to know if anyone’s seen Nick this morning? Why not six hours ago when we first got here?”
“Six hours ago you said he was already in the hotel!”
“I did not!”
“You most certainly did!”
“When the heck did I say that?”
“When I met you at the elevators on the floor. I asked you if Nick was already in his room and you said yeah.”
Brian tried to remember the short conversation from last night. He remembered that they were all pretty tired and anxious to get to their assigned rooms and because of the arguing he and Nick had on the bus earlier, he traded rooms with AJ and opted to spend this venue with Howie. Going over the conversation in his head, he could only remember that he thought Kevin asked if everything was off the bus. He never asked him if Nick was off the bus.
“No, you asked me if things were off the bus!”
The two men stared at each other for a few moments when a sickening reality swept through their brains.
Kevin was the first to break the thick silence with a snort. “There’s no way that kid would be that stupid.”
“Yeah Nick can’t possibly be that dumb,” Brian added. “He’s probably wrapped up in his blankets in his room sleeping.”
The cool wind wasn’t what bothered Nick the most, it was the fact that his sock clad feet were starting to loose all feeling as he walked aimlessly in the slush toward the amber glow of what he hoped was civilization.
He caught a glimpse of himself as he walked past a store window. He quietly laughed despite himself realizing he probably looked more like a transient than an entertainer. Pulling the blankets tighter, he trudged on, the skyline was in his vision.
“What the hell...” AJ moaned softly when he was woken up by loud banging on the door to his room. Rolling onto his stomach, he grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his head, hoping to block out the noise.
He groaned when it not only persisted but grew louder. Lifting the pillow off to one side, he squinted his eyes trying to see the clock on his nightstand. “Seven ten? Oh for the love of God....”
Sighing, he dragged his body from the warm bed, wrapping a sheet halp-hazardly around his waist. “How many times do we have to tell you to take your goddam room card......Kev?”
Kevin Richardson pushed AJ aside as he entered the room. “Nick up yet?”
“Christ Kevin, it’s seven in the goddamn morning,” AJ mumbled, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. “Was he suppose to bunk with me, cause he didn’t check in with me last night.”
Cursing, Kevin removed his cell phone from his belt, punching several numbers. "Thomas, I need you to get detail to AJ's room ASAP, we have a situation."
