The evening was coming to an end and so was the concert. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened so far, that was if you didn’t count one or two mishaps when it came to dancing but it would be expected since they were a bit out of shape after being on hiatus for almost three years.
Howie couldn’t help but smile at the first time they had gotten together to do this show. Kevin had acted like an old man, claiming that old back injuries were flaring up and that he was getting too old to do this kind of crap. They had first laughed at the comment but when Kevin had broken down the second week while they were rehearsing with acute backpain which led him to a bedrest for a week, they had started to believe that maybe this was true. That they were getting too old. As if that wasn't enough, Brian, who was a father now, had really put on a few pounds too many and had to do his best to stay fit. This hadn’t proved to be all that easy since he was constantly tired working all day and being a father and husband in his spare time. He was constantly tired since Bailey contracted one bug after the other and he was either suffering from it’s sweet effects or from having to stay up with the child all night.
And Nick, who had always the habit of contracting every bug there was on the planet, was even more receptive than Howie thought was possible and after the Littrell's were done with his bug, his friend was the one to pick it up and spread it around for another lapse. This left Nick's voice sore and vulnerable and there were times when Howie seriously wondered if he had the energy to go through with this. It didn’t help that he was out partying alot and the smoking made his voice hoarse. AJ was the only one that seemed to be the least out of shape. He’d quit everything but smoking and was living a rather healthy life with his girlfriend Ann and their dogs. Now three months later the relationship was over, he was still smoking but as a whole feeling pretty good. And the way he glowed on stage it really showed too.
“What are you smiling at?” It was Nick that had come up to talk to him as he often did when he was either bored or really out of breath. Judging from the labored breathing he guessed the latter.
Howie's first thought was to say “it’s nothing” but then something made him change his mind and he gestured with his hand towards the screaming crowd. “This. All this. Isn’t it amazing?.”
“Yeah,” Nick nodded. “It’s pretty wild.” There were a large smile on his lips and Howie could feel a brief hug from his friend. He was about to say something back but the blonde had already left and was by the crowd cheering them up.
He shook his head. It was amazing the way Nick could work up a crowd even when he wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. He’d seen Carter do wonders with the fans and they all agreed that there was no one in this group that could get the girls as wild as Nick could. At least not these days. The twenty five year old really knew how to move those hips to get the girls fainting.
In the past AJ had been the crowned king of working up a crowd but these days he was more laid back than before and to tell the truth Howie was actually happy for that. Back in the days, especially during the Black and Blue tour Alexander had been so full of himself at times that they had all been fed up with him. He had been stoned almost every night for a year and a half and they were so sick and tired of each other in the end that Howie was sincerely happy when they had left each other to live different lives back in 2002. In the end AJ was drug free and sober but still they were so fed up with each other that even though Howie suspected that everything wasn’t allright with the youngest he couldn’t use the energy to deal with it and instead his mind went to work on business and upcoming real estate projects.
Today when he knew what Nick had went through in his life on his own Howie wished that he had been there to help his little brother out, especially when it came to Paris but also all other kinds of family and personal problems that his friend had to deal with. Today it was a different matter. They had all matured in a way and they were not as selfish as they had been before and instead they looked after each other in the same way as they used to do when they had just started their journey to success. They were more greatful that the fans were still there for them since it wasn’t all that certain that they had any ground to break. The Upclose tour had proved to be a new start of the way the guys worked together and now Howie felt happy to be on the stage again.
He loved being an entertainer even if it took less and less time away from his duties these days. Being on his head up in business there were always some contract that he had to look over or some real estate that he was planning on buying and it wasn’t for nothing he was being called “Howard Trump” or “Howard Hughes” by the fellas. Usually Howie only laughed at that comment and even if he loved doing business and was rather good at it, it was still up here on stage where he had his heart. It was such a thrill watching thousands upon thousands of excited fans scream for more and when the bad days came, and yes they came, he was instantly reminded of what luck he had and that he should be humble for everything that he’d been fortune to experience in his life.
“Quit playing games with my heart...” Howie sang as he moved all over the stage to the corner. Some girls were stretching out their hands, hoping that he would touch it and he did it. Briefly. There were too many incidents when he hadn’t been all that careful and these days he never took anything for granted. One swift move and the fans could pull him into the crowd. Both AJ and Nick loved doing that stuff; crowd surfing but that had never been his cup of tea. Instead he waved and smiled at the girls and they screamed even more. Suddenly he felt a hand touching his arm and turning around he saw Nick standing there again. He was showing some dance moves that he wanted Howie to do with his hips.
Knowing that the crowd would go totally wild, Howie laughed and tried some stiff moves only to have Nick show him “how it should be done.” As predicted the girls went crazy! It always amazed him how some small moves could cause a small earth quake. Dance it Howie,” Nick drawled on with his southern accent at the same time as he sang his verse. Howie just smiled and did some “Latina moves” as the fellas used to call it. Once again Nick was out of sight and he concentrated more on the crowd for a moment than the rest of the guys only to have the young man back on his side again. Dancing.
By then Howie had known Nick long enough to know that his friend was calling on some attention. Even though he kept smiling and dancing he still knew that something was out of the ordinary and he was intending to find out what it was. Kevin’s concerned words at the first break was pondering in his head; “I’m wondering if either you or Bone could stay on his bus tonight. You know to see that everything is all right.” The song was moving on and so was Nick and soon his friend was out of focus again. This time however Howie decided to keep an eye on the blonde, just in case there were problems ahead.
It was during AJ’s part, “Baby, baby the love we had was so strong,” that he’d noticed that Nick was nowhere on stage and looking up at the stairs he found the young man sitting down, panting while coughing hard into his arm. A quick eye was shared with Kevin, who’d also had spotted the same, and soon was on his way up the stairs to find out what was troubling the singer.
Howie, being the smart person he was, made his way up look like part of the show and when he came up where Nick was sitting he asked. “You okay man?”
“Just a little tired,” Nick panted but the older man could see that his friend had a hard time catching his breath. He didn’t know if it was a move from the blonde to stop further questions but he reached suddenly out with his knuckle as to make a “friends gesture.” Which was instantly rewarded with the same. “You...wanna...do...that...dance?”
Howie frowned, confused over what kind of dance that Nick was talking about.
“You...you know that dance...we...we made up for fun.” If the begging in Nick's eyes hadn’t been so clear the older man would’ve commented something about “let’s sit down and rest instead” but it was obvious that Nick wanted no such thing. Howie knew from way back that if there were one thing Nick was determinded to do he often did it, no matter what cost or consequence it would be. He could feel as sick as a dog and be ready to pass out before entering the stage, but when it was time to perform he always did his best and this was something that Howie admired him greatly for.
“Okay let’s do it then.”
The dance down the stairs went pretty good and when they were down on the stage again Nick said a quick “Thanks D,” before he run off to joke around with one of the other guys again.
When the song finally ended Howie wasn’t late to walk over to Kevin, “You’re right. Maybe one of us should stay on Nicks bus tonight.” There were no time for any further words since the next song, the third to last one called “Wierd World” started. This was mainly Nick's song and Howie seriously wondered if his voice was gonna hold up.
But everything went just fine and the singer managed to pull it off without even a hitch of problem even if Howie suspected that Nick's throat was killing him by now. Another thing that he really admired Nick for was the way he got into the songs. Carter was very emotional even if he didn’t let too many persons come behind the facade but when he did Howie knew that there were so much emotions that he sometimes wondered how Nick could stand having them all bottled up. Those feelings often came out in the songs.
Once the song was done Howie saw Nick calm down again, hanging his head low as if he was stiffling some coughs. Kevin shot him a worried glance and he saw that Brian as well as AJ had caught up that something was a bit off with the youngest band memeber too. During the song “Incomplete” however what seems to have Nick on a tight leash this evening is catching up with him and while he is coughing on and off he mumbles a “It hurts,” to no one in particular. Howie hears this and makes a mental note to fix up some tea and honey when they are back in the bus, since he is coming with Nick no matter what he says. The rest of the song goes a bit better but all the time the older man can see that his friend is struggling with the pain and when Nick doesn’t spare any time and almost rushes out from the stage Howie walks up to him.
“You sure you can make this?” he asks.
“Huh?” Nick looks a bit confused while he is stiffling one more cough.
“This. The show. You look like you’re feeling rather crappy.”
“Oh.” For a brief moment Nick makes no movement to act as if everything is peachy but then he change his mind, “I’m okay.”
Howie opens his mouth to object when Nick stops him. “I’m a little tired that’s all and this damned cold is hunting me. Otherwise I’m fine.” Motioning towards the stage he adds, “Come on D let’s get out there and kick some asses with Backstreets Back.” Nick lights up a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and this has Howie even more certain that something is definately off. The constant swallowing also serves as evidence that he is lying through his teeth and this makes the older man even more certain that Kevin had been right!
Nick had managed to catch another bug and if this was the beginning....Howie didn’t dare to think what the rest of the tour would be like!
“You want me to do what? AJ could hear the annoyance in Nick's voice as Kevin was trying to talk him into staying with one of the guys on the bus. Howie had volunteered, but also AJ and now it was up to Nick if he wanted any company or not. Judging by the way the conversation was headed it would be most likely that it would be a NOT.
Not that it would be too bad anyway.
‘Rooming with Nick was never easy’ AJ thought with a sigh. You had to put up with snoring, stinking feet, farting and burping, loud music when you were about to fall asleep and sometimes annoying beeping coming from a tv game. None of that was that high on AJ’s list but still when Kevin had asked him if either he or Howie could room in for the night on the bus he had accepted.
Nick was never that good at staying alone even though he tried to act as if he was. He knew that when they had first started touring Nick had been dissappointed that they would once again have their own busses just as it was on the Black and Blue tour. Brian had stated that it would be wise since his wife and son would come and visit and Kevin has said the same. AJ, he could care less since it was over with his former girlfriend and now he was single again and could hook up with just about anyone if he wanted to. The truth however was that he, Alexander James McLean was rather fed up with women right now and could do fine without them. Howie was dating too although he never prefered to take his girlfriend Lee along for the ride. And then there was Nick, and he was hooking up with all kinds of girls even though he wasn’t such a player as people made him out to be.
Nick had been staying with his friends most of the trip so far and AJ knew that was mostly because he couldn’t stand being alone. He had never really liked Nick's friends. They were more like parasites trying to live off the kind heart that the blonde had and the mere thought that they were using his little brother for his money made him want to punch their heads in. Yet whenever he tried to talk with Nick about that issue he got told that it was none of his business and that the younger man thought he was old enough to choose his own company. That he didn’t need no babysitter. But AJ knew better....
Nick needed his old friends by his side or else had a habit of messing up his life.
“Come on Nick, it will only be until you start feeling better again,” Kevin cajoled and AJ watched with interest how this conversation would end.
“Thanks but no thanks Kevin.” Nick was doing his best to sound as polite as possible stiffling his anger with a cough. AJ however suspected that his friend would fail miserably. Nick’s breathing was getting heavier both from the cold but also from the bottled up emotions amd there were clear sounds of frustration in his voice. “I can manage quite fine without one of the guys having to come and babysit me!” The last words spat out which had AJ smiling. Now it wouldn’t take long before there would be a fullblown argument wheather or not Nick would be capable to make such a desicion. And soon the fight was a fact.
Kevin and Nick were yelling at each other. The older man calling the blonde immature and not taking care of himself while the other returned with comments about how bossy he was and how he felt as if they tried to rule his life.
AJ knew that most of the argument from Kevin came from being concerned. He had been the bands big brother for as long as he could remember and he also knew that at times he had been like a father to Nick. Someone for him to lean on when things had been rough. The Kentuckian had been there for him in the past but also when Nick was charged for both the incident around New Year a few years back as well as for his recent drunk driving incident. To say that the older man was mad as hell would be an understatement but even if he was so pissed that smoke was coming from his ears Kevin had still been there for Nick.
The same could be said about the Paris incident when the younger man had a total breakdown when reporters and people claimed that he had beat her up. Then Kevin had taken care of the situation and stayed with Nick all night long, just comforting him. AJ only knew about this because Nick had told him since the oldest was tight lipped on repeating things like this.
Still, even if Kevin was by Nick's side all the time he had a hard time to respect the youngest man's wishes and the fact that he was no young teenager but an adult man.
And this pissed Nick off so much that he wouldn’t listen even if he was being told great advice. AJ had tried to tell this to Kevin, but was only told that their friend was much too stubborn for his own good.
“When the hell are you gonna start treating me like a man instead of some kind of baby?” Nick sneered, his eyes glaring with anger. “When you start acting like one.”
“And you think that I will do that if I start having the rest of the guys babysitting me like some kind of freak?” Nick didn’t spare his words as he spat out how stupid and annoying he thought that Kevin was. Suddenly his speach got interrupted by several rows of sneezes and a heart breaking cough that didn’t seemed to want to end.
“Look at you,” Kevin added when Nick's coughing fit had finally subsided. “If you can't even take care of something as simple as a cold before it turns into pneumonia, then how do you expect us to think that you can handle anything else in your life?”
The moment Kevin said those words AJ knew that they were bad and true to his thoughts the result didn’t let to wait on itself.
"When will you ever stop running my life? When will you stop treating me like a five year old when I’m twenty five years old and can make my own decisons?"Nick yelled so hard that for a moment AJ feared that the windows would break.
“But can you really make your own decisions?” Kevin said calmly and the moment he said those words AJ knew that they would cause a reaction and true to his thoughts it came instantly.
“Fuck you Kevin!" Nick spat out and then stormed out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him.
AJ shook his head while watching the scenario unfold infront of him. When would Kevin ever learn that Nick was a big boy now? He’d also seen the hurt look on Nick's face when the older man had degraded him and judging from past times Nick was so angry that he was almost crying.
“That damned punk,” Kevin hissed, red in his face from the anger that Nick had stirred up in him. He then walked over to Howie and loudly complained what a stubborn son of a bitch Nick was and if he didn’t care about his own health so why should he?
This comment had AJ grinning. It was as if he was thrown back in the days and the argument about stupid things were running rampant in the house. Kevin and Nick were the ones that usually got on each other nerves the most about all kinds of stupid things and by the looks of it had yet to stop.
The door opened and in came Brian. He held his cellphone in his hand and AJ guessed that he had spoken to LeighAnne. “What’s all the ruckus about?” he asked in his southern Kentuckian drawl.
“What do you mean?” Kevin looked up from the conversation he was having with Howie about how immature Nick was and so on.
“I met Nick as if a hoard of fans were chasing him. I think he went over to his bus with Q.” Brian looked at each and everyone of them. “Something happen while I was gone?”
AJ shurgged. “Not really. Just the usual.” Kevin shot him a glare and Howie shook his head as to say, ‘Don’t go there.’ Ignoring the looks he went on, “Train and Nick got into a fight over that Kev wanted one of us guys to stay with him since he was feeling so shitty during the concert...and Carter had a fit and freaked out!” There you go, now the cat was out of the bag.
“’kay. As if that was something new.” A deep sigh could be heard from Brian. “You want me to go and talk to him?” The last question was directed to his cousin who just shrugged his shoulders.
“No use when he is that kind of mood.”
Picking up a package of cigs AJ motioned with his hand towards the door, “I’m gonna have a smoke, maybe I can have a word or two with Mr. Kranky also.” Ignoring the muttering words about “Good luck with that one,” he called for his bodyguard Steve and then set his path to Nick's bus.
Fans were out there screaming and AJ felt a bit bad for stopping and letting them down in the process. Ignoring this he hurried up to the bus and knocked on the door. He hoped that Nick wouldn’t be too stubborn and ignore him since his bodyguard was starting to have a hard time fending the girls back and they would do anything to get closer to their popstar.
“Dammit Nick open the god damn door,” he yelled as he was banging furiously. Finally the door opened and the face of Q came into focus.
“Jay what the hell are you doing here?” The black man asked as he helped AJ up on the bus and they could all hear the dissappointed sounds as the door closed behind them, leaving hoards of fans outside.
“Getting mugged,” AJ snarled before adding, “What the hell does it look like?” Once he was safe again he asked, “Where is he?” .
“He said he didn’t want anyone to get on the bus.” Q said as he sat down on the sofa and continued to watching the basketball game that was on.
“I don’t give a shit. If you think I will go back through that crazy hoard,” AJ pointed outside, “You better think again. So where is he? In the bathroom? Bedroom?”
A loud coughing gave away Nick's hiding place and Q shrugged his shoulders. “He’s in there,” A thich thumb pointed against the closed door to the sleeping area. “But Jay he made it very clear to me that he didn’t want to be disturbed.” There was a warning tone in the bodyguard's voice which AJ swiftly ignored.
“Really? Well we’ll see otherwise.” With those words he ignored the black man's attempts to get him into other thoughts and walked resoultely into the dark room. He could see that Nick's drapes were closed and he guessed that his buddy was harboring inside there, sulking and brooding over life.
Ignoring any private moment AJ threw the curtain up. “So it’s here you hiding...” “Didn’t Q tell you that I didn’t want to be disturbed?” Nick mumbled, his back against AJ’s.
“Yeah so?” All he got was an annoyed grunt, but that didn’t stop him. “Nick get up, I wanna talk to you.”
“Can’t you see I’m sleeping?” Nick sneered as he tried to close the curtains again, but AJ had a steady grip and when the action showed no result he snorted loudly before turning his back against the older man again.
If this had been years back, AJ would probably have ignored Nick's request and teased him until he was begging for mercy. He could be pouring ice cold water or tickling him just to see how far he could go until the young man would be so red that he was about to explode. But that was then. Now they were all being grown ups and grown ups didn’t act like that. AJ had a much calmer approach and he had outgrown those kind of tactics, at least for now, and to be frank he didn’t want to make Nick more upset than he already was. But at the same time he couldn’t let the 25 year old like a little kid either!
“No. Actually it looks more like you’re sulking!” AJ commented. “And acting like a small kid too.”
A snort could be heard. Getting no immedate response AJ went on in a much softer tone, “I know that Kev can be an ass sometimes....”
“So can you,” Nick cut off quickly.
AJ sighed. He was starting to lose his temper, still he did his best to remain calm. “You know that’s just Train's way of...”
Another interruption by Nick; “Yeah, yeah I know it’s just Kev's way of showing that he cares. You guys told me that thousands of times.” The voice was whiny and tired. “It’s just that he pisses me off so much at times, you know. It’s like all he sees is that I’m a small kid and I get so fucking sick and tired of that.” He still had his back turned against the older man but AJ could see that he’d softened a bit.
Feeling that it was best to get his friend in a better mood AJ grinned. “Yeah tell me about it. Daddy Kevin can be an hard ass sometimes, and annoying as hell too.” . He’d had his own battles with the oldest member of the group and knew what an ass he could be at times. Yet he was today greatful for it since otherwise the odds of him being alive and sober had been very slim. It was Kevin that had been the one to set his foot down and brought him to rehab in the end.
Today he had the Kentuckian to thank for his life.
“But you know that he means well and I really doubt that his intentions was to bug you when he got the idea that someone should stay on the bus with you.” AJ waited for a reaction and when none came he went on, “You look like crap and you shouldn't be alone.”
Those last words had Nick rolling to his side, facing him. His eyes were dull and lifeless and there was a glossy feverish shimmer in them. Heavy blue bags stood out under his eyes and his nose was red and sore from the cold he suffered from.
It was impossible to stay mad at the miserable figure infront of him. “Shit Dude! You look like hell! What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Nick mumbled as he coughed hard several times. “I’m tired that’s all.”
“My ass.” AJ shook his head in concern over what he saw. “ Damned Nick. Kev’s right, you shouldn’t be alone.” “I’m not alone. I’ve got Q” There was a brief pause. “And he doesn’t try to run my life or treat me like a kid!” Those last words were intended to hurt AJ, especially since Nick spat them out as if he was a snake filled with venom.
With a sigh AJ stood up from his hunched over position on the floor. Nick looked both tired and adgitated and past situations told him that there was no use in trying to discuss things with the young man when he was in this kind of mood. If Nick wanted to be stubborn there was not much he could do. He’d known the young man since the kid was twelve years old, even before and he knew that when he didn’t want to do something he had a willpower that could move a mountain. It could be tiredsome to always try to convince Nick of going one direction or the other, but on the other side this was an asset which led to that his friend never became a quitter even when he’d went through some rough times.
“Okay dude. I’ve heard you.” He straightened his limbs that was stiff from the position he’d been in. “You know I’m not gonna stand here and argue with you about something like this.” AJ felt at once very tired. “The idea of one of us staying on the bus with you was just an offer and if you don’t want to accept it, it’s fine by me.” The older man had to bite his toungue so he didn’t spit out something like, ‘but don’t come running to me when you need help’. That comment seemed to be a bit unessasary, besides they were not fighting teens anymore. Instead he added with an casual tone, “If you change your mind you know who to turn to.” With that AJ made his way through the bus and then stepped outside to face the fans.
Before closing the door, a knowing smile lit up the rebels face. AJ just knew that it wouldn’t take long before Nick would take up his offer. Especially not if the nasty cold would keep on holding him prisoner.
Nick needed his brothers. And they would be there for him. They always were!
