Brian hesistated before opening the door to room no. 8. Nick had received chemo all morning and now he was coming to pick him up. The previous weekend on the boat had been a welcome break in their life. Now it was back to routine again. Nick was scheduled for chemo 3 times a week initially, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This was until his own body had built up tolerable levels on chemo and before they could tell if this treatment is successful or not.
When Brian had asked why Nick had only been on the radiation treatment program for about a month Dr. Andersen had responded that they were concerned over the new path the disease had taken and that it had spread so quickly. Therefore the sudden change in treatment. But she had also said that they had faith in the chemo, and if it wouldn´t be effective they still had some aces up their sleeves. When Brian pressed on, wanting to know what she was referring to Dr. Andersen refused say anything more. “Let´s not take out anything in advance and instead hope that the chemo does the trick.” Her voice sounded cheerful,but the eyes were not smiling.
Nick had been very relaxed when he had gone to the session this morning. He was sunburned and ready to take on life again. The first session he had received before the weekend had not made him sick and he had been confident that he could stomach this treatment. When Brian had dropped him off earlier in the morning Nick had actually joked and this was something that the blonde had not done in a long time. Leighanne was back in the house, preparing for a dinner they were suppose to have later on in the evening, when Nick had invited his new friend Julie.
The moment Brian stuck in his head in the door he noticed that something was not well with his friend. Nick sat hunched on his bed, trying to tie his shoes in slow motion. A pale, almost ashen color clouded his face and the healthy glow from yesterday was gone. A deep frown coated his forehead and when he looked up to see who had entered the room, Brian could see that his eyes had lost all their shine. Pain was evident. Pain and sickness.
The words got stuck in Brians throat, “Hi..hi man, you´re ready?” He walked over to the bed and Nick nodded silently.
“Hi. Yes, let´s get out of here. This place makes me queasy.” The young man stood up slowly, just to sit down again, holding a hand to his forehead.
“You dizzy?” Brian reached out his hand to steady him as he saw the blonde pale visibly.
Nick shrugged the hand off. “A headrush. Nothing to be concerned about.” He made another attempt to stand, this time successfully.
“You want me to call the nurse?” Brian reached for the button beside the bed. Getting stopped.
“No, I´m fine. Let´s go.”
“Right,” Brian didn´t believe a word that was said. “You know if you feel sick there is medication to be taken. Maybe we should call..”
The words drowned off as Nick said with annoyance in his voice, ”I said I was fine didn´t I? Stop fussing.”
Brian shook his head. His friend was much too stubborn for his own good. “Ok, if you say so.” With that Brian picked up the sportsbag and watched as Nick put on his jacket. “You don´t..” Brian was about to object that he didn´t need it since it was hot outside and he was dressed in just a T-shirt. He stopped when he saw Nick's shivering frame. The chemotherapy had been rough.
The walk out to the car was in silence. Both of the men, wearing caps and dark sunglasses hurried along, afraid that anyone would recognize them. Fortunately Nick had gotten a parking space at the employees parking lot on the back of the building and the discovery from fans was limited.
Brian watched, worriedly as Nick dragged his feet like they were cement and he was relieved when they got to the car without any incidents. His friend looked like he might fall over at any second. The minute they reached the car Nick sank down on the front seat, leaning his head against the headrest, closing his eyes. He was ghostly pale and his forehead was dotted with sweatdrops even if he was shivering violently.
“You gonna be alright?” Brian asked, as he tried to feel Nick's forehead. The blonde shrugged away like he had done so many times in the past.
“Yeah.” No more words were said.
“Ok,” Brian was pulling the clutch in when Nick's cellphone gave out a loud signal. Several rings later and no one answering Brian asked, ”You´re not gonna answer?”
Shaking his head, Nick mumbled, “ Just go.”
Frowning, Brian reached for the phone. This was not the Frack that he knew. Next to Howie his friend was practically living by the phone. Infact he had it on all the time and Nick had many “friends” that wanted to reach him. Especially his friend Mike. Lately Brian had noticed that Nick was more reluctant to answer the phone. Maybe because he didn´t want anyone to know how bad he felt.
“Nick´s phone, Brian.”
“Nick? Brian?” A female voice belonging to Nick's mother called out and instantly he wished he had skipped answering the phone.
“Yes?” Brian paused, waiting for Jane Carter to burst out wondering why Nick wasn´t the one answering and true to his toughts the loud bang came!
“Why isn´t Nick answering the phone? Where is he? He never calls back!” Jane sounded upset and Brian couldn´t help but feel bad for her. Momentarily he thought about giving the cell to Nick so that he could clear it all up, but stopped when he saw how bad Nick felt. He was practically green in his face and judging by his looks, he was feeling pretty nauseous.
“Nick is..he is..” Brian didn´t know what to say and Jane cut him off before he had finished his sentence.
“He better not be doing anything bad...I swear that the boy is always in some kind of trouble,” Jane sneered.
This had Brian upset. He wanted to shout to her that she treated her son bad,always suspecting the worst. Then he stopped himself. She wouldn´t act like that if she knew the truth. Instead he felt sorry for her. It would be such a shock when Nick told his parents, his family about the cancer. IF he ever told them.
“No, Nick is in a store right now and he can't talk. Can I take a message?”
“Oh..” the voice softened. “Well tell him that he has a family and that we expect him to call us every once in a while.” A brief pause, “Aaron misses his brother.”
“Ok, I will tell him that.” Brian tried to sound cheerful.
“Good.” Then they said goodbye and hung up.
Turning to his friend Brian said, “That was your mother. She wants you to..”
“Ok, ok,” Nick interupted with a sigh, waving with his hand. “Can we just get going? I feel like I´m gonna puke any minute now.” There was pain in the voice and Brian felt bad.
“Sure.” With that he started the car and they drove off. They didn´t go far before they were in for the first incident.
“Sto..stop the car.” Nick mumbled weakly as he tried desperately to get off the seatbelt. Bile was burning down his throat and he didn´t know how long he could fight off the nausea. It was reaching crisis point.
“Not here, I can´t” Brian said as they were going down a busy street, crowded with people. Turning his head he saw how Nick had his hand on the door handle, as he was covering his mouth with the other. The blonde couldn´t afford to take a no for an answer and he gagged violently.
“Sto..stop..”
Sensing the urgency Brian put on his breaks and he didn´t even have time to stop the car before the door was opened and Nick leaned over, vomiting projectile style all over the pavement. People were walking by and they jumped aside as Nick was turning his stomach inside out.
“A drunk, in the middle of the day. How disgusting,” One woman with a dog commented as Nick nearly hosed her down. She stepped aside and said something rudely.
Brian felt like he wanted to sink through the earth. Yet there was nothing he could do about the situation, just hope that no one recognized them. As he the last thought crossed his mind a teenage girl cried out to her friends.
“It´s Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys.”
“And Brian Littrell.”
Oh no, not this too, Brian shouted inwardely. NO!!!!!!
He wanted this whole situation to be over with, but judging from his friend Nick was in no state to do anything about it as he was still vomiting violently. Frowning from disgust Brian had to turn his head away from the mess. How much could someone actually throw up?
“Ewwww..look Nick is puking.” Someone screamed.
“How disgusting.”
“Probably sick from too much partying.”
“I heard that he is doing drugs too.”
“Yes, a friend of mine said that he does coke."
"Looks like he had too much booze. Party life is paying off."
Brian felt mad and he wanted to yell at them that they were unfair,yet he kept his mouth shut. Not wanting to draw any more attention to them.
The girls continued to talk about them and pointing and one girl even had to nerve to step up to Brian to ask for an autograph. He just turned his head away from her. There were no limits about how rude some people could be.
More and more people were gathering to see what was causing such riot and when one girl pulled up a camera he thought that this was IT.
If he stayed any longer the press would soon find out about Nick's predictement and that was not something that the world OR Nick was ready for. With a swift move he pulled his friend up with one hand, as he desperately searched for something for Nick to be sick in. Emptying the sportsbag, he handed it to him. Nick appeared groggy, but still caught on with the situation as he sat up straighter.
“Sorry buddy, but we gotta go.” When he was assured that Nick was safely in the car and the door was closed he put in the clutch and drove away with a schreek. It was at the right time as more and more people had come to the place.
“Sorry Frack. We have to get out of here.” All he got for response was a nod.
Less than ten minutes later the situation repeated itself, but then they were out of sight for people and Nick could be sick in peace. This time Brian acted like he had done so many times in the past, he was comfort rubbing Nick's back, whispering that everything should be just fine. Tears were running down Nick's cheeks as he desperately clutched his stomach, murmuring weakly that he hurt and that he wanted it all to be over and done with.
"I can´t take it anymore," Nick sobbed as the third bout in a timespan of five minutes came over him. "Let me die!" he mumbled as he heaved violently once again.
"No Frack, No. I will never let you do that. Never." Brian mumbled as his own tears rolled down his cheeks. Yet he had to be strong. Strong for Nick!
